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A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 


UNIFORM    WITH    THIS    VOLUME 


YEARS  OF  CHILDHOOD 

Demy  8vo.     tos.  6d.  net 

and 

A  RUSSIAN  GENTLEMAN 

Demy  8vo.     7$.  6d.  net 

By  SERGB  AKSAKOFF 

Translated  from  the  Russian  by 

J.  D.  DUFF 
Fellow  of  Trinity  College,  Cambridge 


LONDON:  EDWARD  ARNOLD 


A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 


BY 

SERGE    AKSAKOFF 


TRANSLATED  FROM  THE  RUSSIAN 

BY 

J.    D.   DUFF 

FELLOW   OF   TRINITY  COLLEGE,    CAMBRIDGE 


LONDON 
EDWARD    ARNOLD 

1917 

All  rights  reserved, 


TO 

P.  W.  D. 

AND 

M.  G.  D. 


TRANSLATOR'S    PREFACE 

THESE  recollections  of  school  and  college  were  published 
by  Aksakoff  in  1856,  when  he  was  in  his  sixty-fifth  year. 
He  called  them  merely  Recollections :  he  did  not  then 
know  that  he  would  record  other  and  still  earlier  memories 
in  the  book  called  Years  of  Childhood. 

A  Russian  Schoolboy,  the  title  chosen  for  this  transla- 
tion, is  not  a  misnomer :  when  Aksakoff  left  Kazan  in 
the  spring  of  1807,  he  was  still  a  boy  of  fifteen,  though 
his  school  had  been  promoted  by  imperial  decree  to  the 
dignity  of  a  university.  As  a  student  he  wore  a  sword 
with  his  uniform,  but  little  change  took  place  in  his  oc- 
cupations. His  university  studies  are  remarkable :  he 
learnt  no  Greek,  no  Lathi,  no  Mathematics,  and  very 
little  Science — hardly  anything  but  Russian  and  French ; 
and  even  to  these  he  seems  to  have  given  less  time  than 
to  acting  plays  in  the  winter  and  collecting  butterflies  in 
spring  and  summer ;  fishing  and  shooting  were  reserved 
for  the  vacation.  If  our  universities  adopted  such  a 
pleasant  curriculum,  would  they  produce  writers  like 
Aksakoff  ? 

This  is  the  third  and  last  volume  of  these  Memoirs, 
the  right  order  being  :  (1)  A  Russian  Gentleman ;  (2) 
Years  of  Childhood ;  (3)  A  Russian  Schoolboy.  But  the 
first  and  third  of  these  were  published  together  by 
Aksakoff  in  1856,  and  the  second  followed  in  1858  ;  he 
died  on  April  30,  1859. 

He  himself  did  not  use  in  this  work  the  pseudonyms 

rii 


viii  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

which  he  kept  up  throughout  the  other  two.  Hence  in 
this  part  of  the  translation  Aksakoff  and  Aksakovo  appear, 
not  Bagrdff  and  Bagrdvo;  but,  to  save  confusion  to  the 
reader,  three  names — those  of  AIexy&  Stepanitch,  Sdfya 
Nikolayevna,  and  Praskdvya  Ivanovna — are  here  retained, 
though  they  are  all  pseudonyms  and  were  temporarily 
discarded  by  their  author. 

The  Appendix,  as  it  describes  an  episode  of  college 
life,  forms  a  natural  part  of  this  volume.  It  was  the  last 
thing  that  Aksakoff  wrote,  and  was  not  printed  till  six 
months  after  his  death.  He  had  suffered  much  from 
disease,  but  his  artistic  faculty  was  not  dimmed  nor  his 
temper  embittered  :  he  never  wrote  anything  more  vivid, 
more  characteristic,  more  charming. 

This  translation  has  been  made  from  the  Moscow 
edition  of  1900.  I  know  of  no  previous  translation  of 
the  original  into  any  language. 


I  have  now  done  what  I  meant  to  do,  by  translating  the 
whole  of  these  Memoirs  into  English.  Whether  I  shall 
in  future  translate  more  of  Aksakoff,  I  do  not  know.  I 
can  myself  read  with  pleasure  all  that  he  wrote — except 
his  verse  translation  of  Laharpe's  French  translation  of 
the  Philoctetes  of  Sophocles.  But  it  will  not  hurt  his 
reputation,  if  he  is  known  to  English  readers  by  his  best 
work  only.  What  they  cannot  realise  is  the  inimitable 
purity  and  simplicity,  the  lactea  ubertas,  of  his  Russian 
style. 

Aksakoff  is  his  own  best  critic  :  he  wrote  to  a  friend  on 
April  10,  1856— 

"  The  success  of  my  life  has  surprised  me.  You  know 
that  my  vanity  was  never  excessive,  and  it  remains  what 
it  was,  in  spite  of  all  the  praise,  sometimes  extravagant 
to  folly,  which  has  reached  me  in  print  or  in  letters  or 


TRANSLATOR'S  PREFACE  ix 

by  word  of  mouth.  ...  To  the  end  of  a  long  life  I  have 
preserved  warmth  and  liveliness  of  imagination ;  and 
that  is  why  talents  that  are  not  extraordinary  have  pro- 
duced an  extraordinary  effect." 

This  may  be  over-modest,  but  it  is  not  far  from  the 
truth. 

J.  D.  DUFF. 

August  23,  1917. 


CONTENTS 

CHAP.  PAGE 

I.   MY   FIRST   TERM   AT   SCHOOL      ....  1 

H.   A   YEAR   IN   THE   COUNTRY          ....  52 

HI.    MY   RETURN   TO    SCHOOL 75 

IV.   LIFE   AT   COLLEGE 126 

APPENDIX — 

BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING,    AN     EPISODE     OF 

COLLEGE   LIFE  163 


A   RUSSIAN   SCHOOLBOY 
CHAPTER  I 

MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL 

IN  the  middle  of  winter  in  the  year  1799,  when  I  was  eight 
years  old,  we  travelled  to  Kazan,  the  chief  town  of  the 
Government.  The  frost  was  intense ;  and  it  was  a  long 
time  before  we  could  find  out  the  lodgings  we  had  taken 
beforehand.  They  consisted  of  two  rooms  in  a  small  house 
belonging  to  a  Mme  Aristoff,  the  wife  of  an  officer ;  the 
house  stood  in  Georgia  Street,  a  good  part  of  the  town. 
We  arrived  towards  evening,  travelling  in  a  common  sledge 
of  matting  drawn  by  three  of  our  own  horses  harnessed 
abreast ;  our  cook  and  a  maid  had  reached  Kazan  before 
us.  Our  last  stage  was  a  long  one,  and  we  drove  about  the 
town  for  some  hours  in  quest  of  our  lodgings,  with  long 
halts  caused  by  the  stupidity  of  our  country  servants — and 
I  remember  that  I  was  chilled  to  the  bone,  that  our  lodgings 
were  cold,  and  that  tea  failed  to  warm  me  ;  when  I  went 
to  bed,  I  was  shaking  like  a  sick  man  in  a  fever.  I  remem- 
ber also  that  my  mother  who  loved  me  passionately  was 
shivering  too,  not  with  cold  but  with  fear  that  her  darling 
child,  her  little  Seryozha,1  had  caught  a  chill.  She  pressed 
me  close  to  her  breast,  and  laid  over  our  coverlet  a  satin 
cloak  lined  with  fox-fur  that  had  been  part  of  her  dowry. 
At  last  I  got  warm  and  went  to  sleep  ;  and  next  morning 
I  woke  up  quite  well,  to  the  inexpressible  joy  of  my 
anxious  mother.  My  sister  and  brother,  both  younger 
than  I,  had  been  left  behind  with  our  father's  aunt,  at  her 
house  of  Choorassovo  in  the  Government  of  Simbirsk. 
It  was  expected  that  we  should  inherit  her  property  ;  but 
for  the  present  she  would  not  give  a  penny  to  my  father, 
so  that  he  and  his  family  were  pretty  often  in  difficulties  ; 

1  A  pet-name  for  Serghei. 

A 


2  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

she  was  unwilling  even  to  lend  him  a  single  rouble.1  I  do 
not  know  the  circumstances  which  induced  my  parents, 
straitened  as  they  were  for  money,  to  travel  to  Kazan  ;  but 
I  do  know  that  it  was  not  done  on  my  account,  though  my 
whole  future  life  was  affected  by  this  expedition. 

When  I  awoke  next  morning,  I  was  much  impressed  by 
the  movement  of  people  in  the  street ;  it  was  the  first  time 
I  had  seen  anything  of  the  kind,  and  the  impression  was  so 
strong  that  I  could  not  tear  myself  away  from  the  window. 
Our  maid,  Parasha,  who  had  come  with  us,  could  not 
satisfy  me  by  her  replies  to  my  questions,  for  she  knew 
as  little  as  I  did  ;  so  I  managed  to  get  hold  of  a  maid  be- 
longing to  the  house  and  went  on  for  some  hours  teasing 
her  with  questions,  some  of  which  she  was  puzzled  to 
answer.  My  father  and  mother  had  gone  off  to  the 
Cathedral  to  pray  there,  and  to  some  other  places  on 
business  of  their  own  ;  but  they  refused  to  take  me,  fearing 
for  me  the  intense  cold  of  that  Epiphany  season.  They 
dined  at  home,  but  drove  out  again  in  the  evening.  Tired 
out  by  new  sensations,  I  fell  asleep  earlier  than  usual, 
while  chattering  myself  and  hearing  Parasha  chatter. 
But  I  had  hardly  got  to  sleep  when  the  same  Parasha 
roused  me  with  a  kind  and  careful  hand ;  and  I  was  told 
that  a  sledge  had  been  sent  for  me,  and  I  must  get  up  at 
once  and  go  to  a  party  where  I  should  find  my  parents.  I 
was  dressed  in  my  best  clothes,  washed,  and  brushed  ;  then 
I  was  wrapped  up  and  placed  in  the  sledge,  still  in  Parasha's 
company.  I  was  naturally  shy  ;  I  had  been  caught  up  out 
of  the  sound  sleep  of  childhood  and  was  frightened  by  such 
an  unheard-of  event ;  so  that  my  heart  failed  me  and  I 
had  a  presentiment  of  something  terrible,  as  we  drove 
through  the  deserted  streets  of  the  town.  At  last  we 
reached  the  house.  Parasha  took  off  my  wraps  in  the  hall, 
and,  repeating  in  a  whisper  the  encouragement  she  had 
given  me  several  times  on  our  way,  led  me  to  the  drawing- 
room,  where  a  footman  opened  the  door  and  I  walked  in. 

The  glitter  of  candles  and  sound  of  loud  voices  alarmed 
me  so  much  that  I  stood  stock-still  by  the  door.  My 
father  was  the  first  to  see  me  ;  he  called  out  "  Ah,  there  is 
the  recruit !  "  — which  alarmed  me  still  more.  "  Your  fore- 

1  A  rouble  is  ordinarily  worth  two  shillings. 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  3 

head  !  " — cried  out  someone  in  a  stentorian  voice,  and  a 
very  tall  man  rose  from  an  arm-chair  and  walked  towards 
me.  I  understood  the  meaning  of  this  phrase,1  and  was 
so  terrified  by  it  that  I  turned  instinctively  to  run  away, 
till  I  was  checked  by  the  loud  laughter  of  all  the  company. 
But  the  joke  did  not  amuse  my  mother  :  her  tender  heart 
was  troubled  by  the  fears  of  her  child,  and  she  ran  towards 
me,  took  me  in  her  arms,  and  gave  me  courage  by  her 
words  and  caresses.  I  shed  a  few  tears  but  soon  grew  calm. 
And  now  I  must  explain  where  I  had  been  taken  to. 
It  was  the  house  of  an  old  friend  of  the  family,  Maxim 
Knyazhevitch,  who,  after  living  for  several  years  at  Ufa 
as  my  father's  colleague  in  the  law-courts,  had  moved 
with  his  wife  to  Kazan,  to  perform  the  same  duties  there. 
In  early  youth  he  had  left  his  native  country  of  Serbia, 
and  at  once  received  a  commission  in  the  Russian  Horse 
Guards  ;  later  he  had  been  sent  to  Ufa  in  a  legal  capacity. 
He  might  be  called  a  typical  specimen  of  a  Southern 
Slav,  and  was  remarkable  for  his  cordial  and  hospitable 
temperament.  As  he  was  very  tall  and  had  harsh 
features,  his  exterior  was  at  first  sight  rather  disturbing  ; 
but  he  had  the  kindest  of  hearts.  His  wife,  Elizabeth, 
was  the  daughter  of  a  Russian  noble.  Their  house 
in  Kazan  was  distinguished  by  this  inscription  over 
the  entrance,  "  Good  people,  you  are  welcome  " — a  true 
expression  of  Slav  hospitality.  When  they  lived  at  Ufa, 
we  often  met,  and  my  sister  and  I  used  to  play  with  the 
two  elder  sons,  Dmitri  and  Alexander.  The  boys  were 
in  the  room,  though  I  did  not  recognise  them  at  once ; 
but,  when  my  mother  explained  and  reminded  me  of 
them,  I  called  out  at  once  :  "  Why,  mamma,  surely  these 
are  the  boys  who  taught  me  how  to  crack  walnuts  with 
my  head  !  "  The  company  laughed  at  my  exclamation, 
my  shyness  passed  off,  and  I  began  in  good  spirits  to 
renew  acquaintance  with  my  former  playmates.  They 
were  dressed  in  green  uniforms  with  scarlet  collars,  and  J 
was  told  that  they  attended  the  grammar-school  of  Kazan. 
An  hour  later,  they  drove  back  to  school ;  it  was  Sunday, 

1  I.e.  "  Present  your  forehead  "  to  be  shaved.  In  those  days  the  hair 
on  the  forehead  of  recruits  for  the  Army  was  shaved  as  soon  as  they  were 
passed  by  the  doctors. 


4  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

and  the  two  boys  had  leave  to  spend  the  day  with  their 
parents  till  eight  in  the  evening. 

I  soon  grew  weary ;  and,  as  I  listened  to  the  talk  be- 
tween my  parents  and  our  hosts,  I  was  falling  asleep,  when 
suddenly  my  ear  was  caught  by  some  words  which  filled 
me  with  horror  and  drove  sleep  far  from  me.  "  Yes,  my 
good  friends,  Alexyei  Stepanitch  and  Sofya  Nikolayevna" 
— M.  Knyazhevitch  was  speaking  in  his  loud  positive  voice 
— "  do  take  a  piece  of  friendly  advice,  and  send  Seryozha 
to  the  grammar-school  here.  It  is  especially  important, 
because  I  can  see  that  he  is  his  mother's  darling  ;  and  she 
will  spoil  him  and  coddle  him  till  she  makes  an  old  woman 
of  him.  It  is  time  for  the  boy  to  be  learning  something  ; 
at  Ufa  the  only  teacher  was  Matvyei  Vassilitch  at  the 
National  School,  and  he  was  no  great  hand  ;  but  now  that 
you  have  gone  to  live  in  the  country,  you  won't  find  any 
one  even  as  good."  My  father  said  that  he  agreed  entirely 
with  this  opinion  ;  but  my  mother  turned  pale  at  the 
thought  of  parting  with  her  treasure,  and  replied,  with 
much  agitation,  that  I  was  still  young  and  weak  in  health 
(which  was  true,  to  some  extent)  and  so  devoted  to  her 
that  she  could  not  make  up  her  mind  in  a  moment  to  such 
a  change.  As  for  me,  I  sat  there  more  dead  than  alive, 
neither  hearing  nor  understanding  anything  further  that 
was  said.  Supper  was  served  at  ten  o'clock,  but  neither 
my  mother  nor  I  could  swallow  a  morsel.  At  last  the  same 
sledge  which  had  brought  me  carried  us  back  to  our 
lodgings.  At  bed-time,  when  I  embraced  my  mother  as 
usual  and  clung  close  to  her,  we  both  began  to  sob  aloud. 
My  voice  was  choked,  and  I  could  only  say,  "  Mamma, 
don't  send  me  to  school !  "  She  sobbed  too,  and  for  a 
long  time  we  prevented  my  father  from  sleeping.  At  last 
she  decided  that  nothing  should  induce  her  to  part  from 
me,  and  towards  morning  we  fell  asleep. 

We  did  not  stay  long  at  Kazan.  I  learnt  afterwards 
that  my  father  and  the  Knyazhevitches  went  on  urging 
my  mother  to  send  me  as  a  Government  scholar  to  the 
school  in  that  town.  They  pressed  upon  her  that  at 
present  there  was  a  vacancy,  and  there  might  be  none 
later.  But  nothing  would  induce  her  to  give  way,  and 
she  said  positively  that  she  must  have  a  year  at  least  to 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  5 

gain  courage,  to  become  accustomed  herself  and  to  accus- 
tom me  to  the  idea.  All  this  was  concealed  from  me,  and 
I  believed  that  I  should  never  be  the  victim  of  such  a 
terrible  calamity. 

We  started  on  our  long  journey,  taking  our  own  horses, 
and  travelled  first  to  the  Government  of  Simbirsk  where 
we  picked  up  my  brother  and  sister,  and  then  across  the 
Volga  to  New  Aksakovo,  where  my  infant  sister,  Annushka, 
had  been  left.  In  those  days  you  might  travel  along  side- 
roads  in  the  Government  of  Ufa  for  a  dozen  versts  1  without 
passing  a  single  village  ;  and  a  winter  journey  of  this  kind 
seems  to  me  now  so  horrible  that  the  mere  recollection  of  it 
is  painful.  A  side-road  was  merely  a  track  over  the  snow- 
drifts, formed  by  the  passage  of  a  few  sledges  ;  and  the 
least  wind  covered  it  entirely  with  fresh  snow.  On  such 
a  road  the  horses  had  to  be  harnessed  in  single  file,  and  the 
traveller  had  to  crawl  on  for  seven  hours  without  a  break, 
the  stages  being  as  much  as  thirty-five  versts  or  even  longer  ; 
and  the  length  of  each  verst  was  by  no  means  a  fixed  dis- 
tance. Hence  it  was  necessary  to  start  at  midnight,  to 
wake  the  children  from  their  sleep,  wrap  them  up  in  furs, 
and  pack  them  into  the  sledges.  The  creaking  of  the 
runners  on  the  dry  snow  was  a  constant  trial  to  my  sensi- 
tive nerves,  and  I  always  suffered  from  sickness  during  the 
first  twenty-four  hours.  Then  the  stoppages  for  food  and 
sleep,  in  huts  full  of  smoke  and  packed  with  calves  and 
lambs  and  litters  of  pigs,  the  dirt,  the  smell — Heaven  pre- 
serve any  man  from  even  dreaming  of  all  this  !  I  say 
nothing  of  the  blizzards  which  sometimes  forced  us  to  halt 
in  some  nameless  hamlet  and  wait  forty-eight  hours  till  the 
fierce  wind  fell.  The  recollection  is  bad  enough.  But  we 
did  at  last  reach  my  dear  Aksakovo,  and  all  was  forgotten. 

I  began  once  more  my  life  of  blissful  happiness  in  my 
mother's  company  and  resumed  all  my  old  occupations. 
I  read  aloud  to  her  my  favourite  books — Reading  for 
Children,  to  benefit  the  Heart  and  Head,  and  also  Hippocrene, 
or  the  Delights  of  Literature — not,  indeed,  for  the  first  time 
but  always  with  fresh  satisfaction.  I  recited  verses  from 
the  tragedies  of  Sumarokoff,  in  which  I  had  a  special  pre- 
ference for  messengers'  parts,  and  put  on  a  broad  belt  for 

1  A  verst  is  three  quarters  of  a  mile. 


6  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

the  purpose,  with  a  window-prop  stuck  in  it  to  represent  a 
sword.  I  played  with  my  sister  whom  I  had  loved  dearly 
from  infancy,  and  my  baby  brother,  lying  about  with  them 
on  the  floor,  which  for  warmth  was  covered  with  a  double 
thickness  of  snow-white  Kalmuck  mats.  I  began  again 
teaching  my  sister  to  read ;  but  at  first  she  made  slow  pro- 
gress and  would  not  try,  and  I  had  naturally  little  notion 
how  to  set  about  my  task,  though  I  was  tremendously 
in  earnest  over  it.  I  well  remember  that  I  found  it  quite 
impossible  to  explain  to  my  six-year-old  pupil  how  to  spell 
whole  words.1  I  gave  it  up  in  despair,  sat  down  on  a  stool 
in  the  corner,  and  began  to  cry ;  and,  when  my  mother 
asked  what  I  was  crying  about,  I  answered,  "  Sister  does 
not  understand  anything."  As  before,  I  took  to  bed  with 
me  my  cat,  which  was  so  attached  to  me  that  she  followed 
me  everywhere  like  a  dog ;  and  I  snared  small  birds  or 
trapped  them  and  kept  them  in  a  small  room  which  was 
practically  converted  into  a  spacious  coop.  I  admired  my 
pigeons  with  double  tufts  and  feathered  legs,  which  had 
been  kept  warm  in  my  absence  under  the  stoves  in  the 
houses  of  the  outdoor  servants.  I  watched  the  huntsmen 
catching  magpies  and  pigeons  or  feeding  the  hawks  in  their 
winter  quarters.  The  day  was  not  long  enough  for  the 
enjoyment  of  all  these  delights  ! 

So  winter  passed  by,  and  spring  began  with  its  green 
leaves  and  blossoms,  revealing  a  multitude  of  new  and 
poignant  pleasures — the  clear  waters  of  the  river,  the  mill 
and  mill-dam,  the  Jackdaw  Wood,  and  the  island,  sur- 
rounded on  all  sides  by  the  old  and  new  channels  of  the 
Boogoorooslan,  and  planted  with  shady  limes  and  birches. 
To  the  island  I  ran  several  times  a  day,  hardly  knowing 
myself  why  I  went ;  and  there  I  stood  motionless,  as  if 
under  a  spell,  while  my  heart  beat  hard  and  my  breath 
came  unevenly.  But  what  attracted  me  most  of  all  was 
fishing,  and  I  gave  my  whole  soul  to  this  sport,  under  the 
eye  of  my  attendant,  Yephrem  Yevseitch.  Fish  swarmed 
in  the  clear  and  deep  waters  of  the  Boogoorooslan,  which 
flowed  right  under  the  windows  of  the  room  built  on  to  the 
old  house  by  my  grandfather  in  his  lifetime,  in  order  that 
his  daughter-in-law  might  have  a  place  to  herself  to  live  in. 

1  Russians  spell  by  syllables,  not  by  single  letters. 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  7 

Close  under  the  window  there  grew  a  spreading  birch, 
leaning  over  the  water,  and  one  thick  crooked  bough 
formed  with  the  trunk  a  kind  of  arm-chair  in  which  I  loved 
to  sit  with  my  sister.  But  the  river  in  the  course  of  time 
bared  the  roots  of  the  tree,  so  that  it  grew  old  prematurely 
and  fell  on  its  side  ;  yet  it  is  still  living  and  puts  forth 
leaves.  A  young  tree  was  planted  beside  it  by  a  later 
owner. 

Ah,  where  is  it  now,  that  magic  world,  the  fairy-tale  of 
human  life,  which  so  many  grown-up  people  treat  roughly 
and  rudely,  shattering  its  enchantment  by  ridicule  or  pre- 
mature enlightenment  ?  The  happiness  of  childhood  is  the 
Golden  Age,  and  the  recollection  of  it  has  power  to  move 
the  old  man's  heart  with  pleasure  and  with  pain.  Happy 
is  the  man  who  once  possessed  it  and  is  able  to  recall  the 
memory  of  it  in  later  years  !  With  many  that  time  passes 
by  unnoticed  or  unen joyed  ;  and  all  that  remains  in  the 
ripeness  of  age  is  the  recollection  of  the  coldness  or  even 
cruelty  of  men. 

I  spent  that  whole  summer  in  the  intoxication  of  a 
child's  happiness,  and  suspected  nothing ;  but,  when 
autumn  came  and  I  began  to  sit  more  in  the  house,  to  look 
more  at  my  mother  and  listen  to  her  more,  I  soon  noticed 
a  change  of  some  kind  in  her.  Her  beautiful  eyes  were 
directed  at  me  sometimes  with  a  peculiar  expression  of 
secret  sorrow  ;  I  even  noticed  tears,  though  they  were 
carefully  concealed  from  me  ;  and  then,  in  grief  and  excite- 
ment, with  all  the  caresses  of  passionate  love,  I  besieged  her 
with  questions.  At  first  she  assured  me  that  it  was 
nothing  and  of  no  importance  ;  but  soon,  in  the  course  of 
our  conversations,  I  began  to  hear  her  lamenting  that  I 
had  no  proper  teacher,  and  saying  that  teaching  was  in- 
dispensable for  a  boy.  She  would  rather  die,  she  said,  than 
see  her  children  grow  up  in  ignorance  ;  a  man  must  serve 
the  state,  and  was  not  fit  to  do  so  without  education.  My 
heart  sank  when  I  understood  the  drift  of  these  words  and 
realised  that  the  dreaded  calamity  had  not  passed  away 
but  had  come  close,  and  that  the  school  at  Kazan  was 
inevitable.  My  mother  confirmed  my  surmise  :  she  said 
that  her  mind  was  made  up,  and  I  knew  that  she  did  not 
readily  change  her  resolves.  For  some  days  I  could  only 


8  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

weep,  not  listening  to  what  she  said,  and  pretending  not 
to  understand  it.  At  last  her  tears  and  entreaties,  her 
sensible  arguments  accompanied  by  the  tenderest  caresses, 
and  her  eager  desire  to  see  me  grow  up  an  educated  man — 
all  these  became  intelligible  to  me,  young  as  I  was,  and  I 
submitted  with  an  aching  heart  to  the  destiny  that  awaited 
me.  But  all  my  country  amusements  suddenly  lost  their 
charm  :  I  felt  drawn  to  none  of  them  ;  everything  seemed 
to  me  strange  and  repulsive,  and  only  my  love  for  my 
mother  increased  so  much  as  actually  to  frighten  her. 

And  now  my  preparation  for  the  school  course  began. 
I  could  read  excellently  for  my  age,  but  my  writing  was 
childish.  In  arithmetic,  my  father  had  tried  earlier  to 
impart  to  me  the  first  four  rules,  which  were  all  he  knew 
himself ;  but  I  was  so  dull  and  idle  a  pupil  that  he  dropped 
it.  Now  there  was  a  complete  change  :  in  two  months  I 
mastered  these  four  rules,  and,  though  I  have  forgotten 
all  the  rest  of  my  mathematics,  I  remember  the  four  rules 
still.  The  rest  of  the  time  until  our  departure  for  Kazan 
was  spent  in  revising  old  lessons  with  my  father.  In  the 
writing  of  copies  also  I  became  very  proficient.  All  this 
I  did  under  my  mother's  eye  and  wholly  and  solely  for  her 
sake.  She  had  said,  that  she  would  burn  with  shame  if  I 
did  not  pass  with  credit  the  entrance-examination  which 
had  to  be  taken  in  these  subjects,  and  that  she  was  sure  I 
would  distinguish  myself ;  and  I  needed  no  other  induce- 
ment. I  would  not  go  one  step  from  her  side.  When  she 
tried  to  send  me  out  to  play  or  look  at  my  pigeons  and 
hawks,  I  refused  to  go  anywhere  and  always  gave  the 
same  answer,  "  I  don't  want  to,  mamma."  In  order  to 
accustom  me  to  the  thought  of  our  parting,  she  spoke 
constantly  to  me  of  the  school  and  of  education  ;  she  said 
that  she  was  quite  determined  to  take  me  to  Moscow  later, 
and  place  me  at  a  boarding-school  connected  with  the 
University,  the  school  to  which  she  had  sent  her  brothers 
straight  from  Uf d,  when  she  was  herself  a  girl  only  seventeen 
years  old.  My  intelligence  was  beyond  my  age  ;  for  I  had 
read  many  books  to  myself,  and  still  more  aloud  to  my 
mother,  some  of  them  too  advanced  for  my  years.  To  this 
I  must  add,  that  my  mother  was  my  constant  companion  ; 
and  it  is  well  known  how  the  companionship  of  grown-up 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  9 

people  develops  the  minds  of  children.  Hence  it  came 
about,  that  she  was  able  to  speak  to  me  of  the  advantages 
the  educated  have  over  the  ignorant,  and  that  I  was  able 
to  understand  her.  She  was  remarkably  intelligent  and 
had  unusual  powers  of  expression  ;  she  could  speak  what 
was  in  her  mind  with  a  passion  which  it  was  hard  to  resist, 
and  her  influence  over  me  was  absolute  and  supreme.  At 
last  she  inspired  me  with  such  courage,  such  zeal  to  carry 
out  her  darling  wish  as  soon  as  possible  and  justify  her 
hopes,  that  I  even  looked  forward  with  impatience  to  our 
journey  to  Kazan.  My  mother  seemed  courageous  and 
cheerful ;  but  how  much  the  effort  cost  her  !  She  grew 
thinner  and  paler  daily  ;  she  never  shed  tears,  but  she  shut 
herself  up  in  her  own  room  more  than  usual  and  prayed. 
This  was  the  real  proof  of  her  love  for  her  child,  the  real 
triumph  of  that  infinitely  disinterested  and  self-sacrificing 
passion  !  As  a  child,  I  had  been  long  ill,  and  there  was  a 
time  when  for  whole  years  she  never  left  my  bedside ;  when 
she  slept,  no  one  knew,  and  no  hand  but  hers  was  suffered 
to  touch  me.  And  again,  at  a  later  time,  when  she  heard 
that  I  had  broken  down  at  school  and  was  lying  sick  in 
hospital,  she  crossed  the  river  Kama  at  the  time  of  the 
spring  thaw,  when  all  traffic  over  it  had  ceased  and  the 
discoloured  and  swollen  ice  might  be  expected  to  break  up 
at  any  moment.  But  all  this  falls  short  of  her  determina- 
tion to  send  her  child  to  school ;  the  school  was  under 
Government  and  400  versts  away,  and  the  child,  whom  she 
literally  idolised,  was  only  nine  and  not  strong  and  had  been 
tenderly  reared  ;  yet  she  did  it,  because  there  was  no  other 
means  of  procuring  education  for  him. 

Winter  came  round  once  more,  and  in  December  we 
started  for  Kazan.  In  order  that  the  return  home  might 
be  less  sad  for  my  mother,  my  father  insisted  on  taking  my 
elder  sister  with  us  ;  my  brother  and  younger  sister  were 
left  at  home  with  our  aunt  Tatyana.  At  Kazan  we  had 
the  same  lodgings  as  the  year  before,  in  the  house  of  Mme 
Aristoff.  Before  leaving,  my  parents  had  been  in  corre- 
spondence with  M.  Knyazhevitch  and  had  ascertained  that 
there  was  a  vacancy  in  the  school  for  a  Government 
scholar,  and  they  had  got  ready  all  the  papers  required  for 
my  entrance.  So,  after  a  fortnight,  when  he  had  made 


10  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

acquaintance  through  M.  Knyazhevitch  with  all  the 
officials  concerned,  my  father,  after  fervent  prayer  to 
God,  sent  in  his  petition  to  M.  Peken,  the  Rector  of  the 
school. 

The  governing-body  of  the  school  appointed  the  head- 
master, M.  Kamasheff,  to  examine  me  in  my  proficiency, 
and  a  Dr.  Benis  to  conduct  a  medical  examination. 
Kamasheff  was  then  on  leave,  and  his  duties  were  dis- 
charged in  part  by  Vassili  Upadishevsky,  master  of  one  of 
the  dormitories  ;  while  the  inspection  of  studies,  of  which 
Kamasheff  had  charge,  was  carried  on  by  Lyoff  Levitsky, 
the  senior  teacher  of  Russian  Literature.  Both  these  men 
proved  kind  and  friendly,  and  Upadishevsky  soon  became 
a  real  guardian-angel  to  myself  and  my  mother  :  I  do  not 
know  what  would  have  become  of  us,  but  for  this  kind  old 
friend.  When  my  father  went  to  the  Rector's  house  to 
give  in  his  petition,  he  took  me  with  him,  and  the  Rector 
proved  very  friendly.  Next,  as  Levitsky  was  unwell  and 
could  not  attend  the  meeting  of  the  governors,  I  was  taken 
to  his  lodgings  by  my  father.  He  too  was  very  amiable 
and  cheerful ;  he  had  a  high  colour  and,  in  spite  of  his 
youth,  a  considerable  development  behind  his  waistcoat. 
He  charmed  both  of  us  by  his  reception.  He  began  by 
kissing  and  embracing  me.  Then  he  set  me  something  to 
read — prose  by  Karamzin  and  verse  by  Dmitrieff — and 
was  delighted  to  find  that  I  read  with  intelligence  and 
feeling.  Next  he  made  me  write ;  and  again  my  per- 
formance delighted  him.  In  the  four  rules  of  arithmetic 
also  I  distinguished  myself;  but  Levitsky,  in  the  true 
spirit  of  a  teacher  of  literature,  expressed  straight  off  his 
contempt  for  mathematics. 

When  the  examination  was  over,  he  praised  me  without 
stint,  and  expressed  surprise  that  a  boy  of  my  age,  living 
in  the  country,  could  be  so  well  prepared.  '  Now  who, 
pray,  taught  him  to  write  ?  "  he  asked  my  father  with  a 
good-humoured  laugh  :  "  your  own  handwriting  is  hardly 
a  model."  My  father,  charmed  and  moved  almost  to  tears 
by  hearing  his  son  praised,  replied  in  the  fulness  of  his 
heart,  that  I  owed  it  all  to  my  own  hard  work,  under  the 
supervision  of  my  mother,  from  whom  I  was  almost  in- 
separable ;  and  that  he  himself  had  taught  me  nothing  but 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  11 

arithmetic.  He  added  that  we  had  only  lately  moved  to 
the  country,  that  my  mother  was  a  great  lover  of  books 
and  poetry,  and  had  spent  all  her  youth  in  a  provincial 
capital,  where  her  father  held  an  important  position. 
"  Ah,"  exclaimed  Levitsky,  "  now  I  understand  the  stamp 
of  refinement,  even  of  elegance,  which  marks  your  charm- 
ing boy  ;  it  is  the  fruit  of  a  woman's  work  of  education,  the 
result  of  a  cultivated  mother's  labours."  We  left  the  house 
enchanted  with  him. 

Dr.  Benis,  who  owned  a  fine  house  in  Ladsky  Street, 
received  us  very  politely  and  made  no  difficulty  in  giving 
me  a  certificate  of  health  and  bodily  vigour.  On  returning 
home,  I  noticed  that  my  mother  had  been  weeping,though 
her  eyes  had  this  peculiarity  that  tears  did  not  cloud  their 
brightness  and  left  no  trace  behind  them.  My  father 
eagerly  reported  all  that  had  happened  to  us.  My  mother 
looked  at  me  with  an  expression  which  I  shall  never  forget, 
even  if  I  live  a  hundred  years  to  come.  She  took  me  in  her 
arms  and  said,  "  You  are  my  happiness,  you  are  my  pride ! " 
What  more  could  I  ask  ?  In  my  own  way,  I  was  proud 
and  happy  too,  and  courageous  enough. 

My  mother  called  on  the  wife  of  Dr.  Benis  and  made  the 
acquaintance  of  the  doctor  himself.  It  was  hard  to  deny 
sympathy  to  my  mother's  youth  and  beauty,  her  intelli- 
gence and  her  tears  :  they  both  quite  fell  in  love  with  her, 
and  the  doctor  promised  her,  that  in  any  illness,  however 
trifling,  I  should  enjoy  all  the  resources  of  the  medical  art 
— a  dangerous  promise,  according  to  my  present  ideas, 
when  I  dread  an  excess  of  medical  attention ;  but  it 
served  then  to  comfort  my  poor  mother  to  some  extent. 

Vassili  Upadishevsky  was  a  widower,  and  two  of  his  own 
sons  were  Government  scholars.  My  father  made  his 
acquaintance  and  invited  him  to  visit  us  at  our  lodgings. 
My  mother  received  him  so  kindly  that  he  took  a  great 
fancy  to  her  and  was  able  to  appreciate  her  maternal 
devotion.  At  their  very  first  interview,  he  promised  her 
two  things  :  to  transfer  me  within  a  week  to  his  own 
dormitory — to  have  done  this  at  once  for  a  new  boy  would 
have  been  thought  a  clear  case  of  favouritism ;  and  to 
look  after  me  more  closely  than  after  his  own  "  pair  of 
scamps,"  by  whom  he  meant  his  sons.  Both  promises  were 


12  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

scrupulously  fulfilled.  I  seem  to  see  him  now,  with  his 
kind  courteous  face,  and  his  right  arm  slung  in  a  broad 
black  ribbon  ;  the  hand  had  been  blown  off  by  the  burst- 
ing of  a  cannon,  and  he  wore  a  black  glove  stuffed  with 
cotton-wool  attached  to  the  arm.  He  could  write,  how- 
ever, very  well  and  distinctly  with  his  left  hand. 

At  last  all  the  formalities  were  complete,  and  the 
governors  decided  to  admit  me  to  the  school  as  a  Govern- 
ment scholar.  I  was  measured  for  my  uniform,  and  the 
uniform  was  made.  The  excitement  which  my  mother  and 
I  were  feeling  did  not  grow  less.  We  drove  to  the  Cathedral 
and  offered  prayers  to  the  three  wonder-working  saints  of 
Kazan,  Gury,1  Varsonofy,  and  Germanus  ;  and  I  was 
taken  straight  from  the  Cathedral  to  the  school,  and  given 
over  by  my  parents  into  the  personal  charge  of  Upadishev- 
sky.  My  attendant,  Yephrem  Yevs&tch,  came  with  me, 
taking  service  in  the  school  as  a  dormitory  man.  The 
parting  was,  as  may  be  supposed,  accompanied  by  tears 
and  blessings  and  good  advice ;  but  nothing  remarkable 
took  place.  I  was  taken  to  the  school  at  ten  in  the 
morning,  when  second  lesson  had  just  begun  and  all  the 
boys  were  in  the  class-rooms  upstairs.2  The  bedrooms 
downstairs  were  empty,  and  my  mother  was  able  to 
examine  them  and  to  see  the  very  bed  in  which  I  was  to 
sleep  ;  she  seemed  satisfied  with  all  the  arrangements. 
As  soon  as  my  parents  had  gone,  Upadishevsky  took  my 
hand  and  led  me  to  the  writing-class,  where  he  introduced 
me  to  the  teacher  as  a  very  well-disposed  boy  and  begged 
him  to  pay  special  attention  to  me.  I  was  put  down  with 
other  new  boys  at  a  separate  desk,  and  we  were  made  to 
copy  pot-hooks  and  hangers.  I  was  quite  dumbfounded, 
and  felt  as  if  it  was  all  a  dream  ;  but  I  had  no  sensation  of 
fear  or  grief.  After  dinner,  of  which  I  remember  nothing, 
I  was  made  to  put  on  a  uniform  jacket,  with  a  cloth  stock 
round  my  neck,  and  my  hair  was  cut  close.  Then  we  were 

1  I.e.  George. 

2  In  winter,  first  lesson  began  at  8  and  second  lesson  at  10;    work 
ended  at  noon  and  dinner  came  half  an  hour  later.     Jn  summer,  work 
began  at  7  and  ended  at  11,  and  dinner  was  at  noon  exactly.     At  all 
seasons,  afternoon  school  began  at  2  and  ended  at  6 ;  supper  was  at  8, 
and  we  went  to  bed  at  9.     We  rose  at  5  in  the  summer  and  6  in  winter. 
(Author' »  Note.) 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  13 

placed  on  parade  in  a  line  two  deep — the  boy  next  me  was 
Vladimir  Graff — and  we  were  taught  at  once  how  to  march. 
I  went  mechanically  through  it  all,  as  if  I  had  nothing  to 
do  with  it  personally.  When  lessons  were  over,  Upadish- 
evsky  met  me  at  the  door  and  said,  "  Your  mother  is 
waiting  for  you."  Then  he  took  me  to  the  reception-room 
where  both  my  parents  were  standing. 

When  my  father  saw  me,  he  laughed  and  said,  "  Well, 
one  would  hardly  know  Seryozha  again  ! " — but  my 
mother,  who  had  failed  to  recognise  me  at  the  first  moment, 
threw  up  her  hands,  cried  out,  and  feH  fainting  to  the 
floor.  I  cried  out  wildly  and  fell  at  her  feet.  Upadish- 
evsky,  who  had  been  looking  through  the  chink  of  the  door, 
was  alarmed  and  hurried  to  our  aid.  My  mother's  swoon, 
which  lasted  about  half  an  hour,  terrified  my  father  and 
had  such  an  effect  upon  poor  Upadishevsky  that  he 
summoned  from  the  hospital  Ritter,  the  doctor's  assistant, 
who  gave  some  medicine  to  my  mother  and  made  me 
swallow  something  too.  When  my  mother  came  to  herself, 
she  was  very  weak ;  and  the  kind-hearted  Upadishevsky 
volunteered  to  give  me  leave  to  go  home  for  the  night. 
"  M.  Kamasheff,"  said  he,  "  may  be  angry  with  me,  when 
he  comes  back  and  hears  of  it ;  and  he  would  never  have 
given  leave  himself.  But  never  mind — I  will  take  all  the 
responsibility ;  only  please  bring  him  back  to-morrow  at 
seven,  just  before  breakfast."  We  could  not  find  words 
to  thank  him  for  such  kindness  ;  and  off  we  went  to  our 
lodgings.  At  home  my  mother,  on  reflexion,  plucked  up 
courage  herself  and  breathed  courage  into  me.  She  forced 
herself  to  look  calmly  at  my  close-cropped  head,  where  her 
hand  sought  in  vain  the  soft  fair  curls,  and  at  the  stock, 
which  had  already  begun  to  rub  the  tender  skin  of  my 
neck,  unused  even  to  a  silk  handkerchief.  For  everything 
she  found  a  good  reason  which  we  had  to  submit  to.  Our 
mutual  firmness  and  determination  took  hold  of  us  with 
fresh  power.  I  was  at  the  school  next  day  before  seven 
o'clock.  My  mother  paid  me  two  visits  every  day — before 
dinner  at  midday,  and  again  at  six ;  the  morning  visit 
lasted  only  half  an  hour,  but  I  could  stay  with  her  in  the 
evening  for  an  hour  and  a  half.  While  we  were  together, 
she  seemed  peaceful  and  even  happy;  but  I  guessed  from 


14  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

my  father's  sad  face  that  matters  were  very  different  in 
my  absence. 

Within  a  few  days,  my  father  became  convinced  that 
things  could  not  go  on  as  they  were,  and  that  these  con- 
stant meetings  and  partings  were  only  a  source  of  useless 
suffering  ;  he  took  counsel  with  M.  Knyazhevitch,  and  the 
two  decided  to  take  my  mother  back  to  the  country  without 
delay.  It  was  easy  to  decide,  but  hard  to  carry  out  the 
decision,  and  this  my  father  knew  very  well ;  but,  much  to 
his  satisfaction  and  contrary  to  his  expectation,  my  mother 
soon  yielded  to  the  entreaties  and  arguments  addressed  to 
her.  Dr.  Benis  took  an  interest  in  the  matter,  and  his 
words  were  undoubtedly  of  great  weight.  He  assured  her 
that  these  constant  interviews  were  a  trial  to  my  nerves 
and  dangerous  to  my  health,  and  that,  unless  she  went 
away,  it  would  take  me  a  long  time  to  get  accustomed  to 
my  new  life,  and  perhaps  I  never  should  settle  down  at 
all.  Even  the  soft-hearted  Upadishevsky  urged  the  same 
course  :  when  he  declared  that  I  could  not  work  properly 
in  such  a  condition  of  affairs,  and  that  my  teachers  would 
form  a  bad  opinion  of  me,  then  my  mother  consented  to  go 
away  on  the  very  next  day.  But  there  is  one  thing  that 
still  puzzles  me — how  she  could  make  up  her  mind  to 
play  a  trick  on  me.  Before  dinner  she  told  me  that  she 
would  leave  the  next  day  or  the  day  after,  and  that  we 
should  meet  twice  more  ;  she  said  too  that  she  was  spend- 
ing that  evening  with  the  Knyazhevitches,  and  would  not 
visit  me.  To  depart  secretly  and  without  saying  goodbye 
— that  was  an  unlucky  idea,  urged  by  Benis  and  Upadi- 
shevsky. Of  course,  they  wished  to  spare  us  both,  and 
me  especially,  the  pain  of  a  final  parting ;  but  their 
calculation  was  not  verified.  Even  now  I  am  convinced 
that  this  well-meant  deception  had  many  sad  results. 

It  was  the  first  time  that  my  mother  had  omitted  her 
evening  visit,  and,  though  she  had  forewarned  me,  yet  my 
heart  ached  with  grief  and  a  presentiment  of  some  un- 
known calamity.  I  slept  badly  that  night.  Early  next 
morning,  when  I  began  to  dress,  Yevseitch  handed  me  a 
note  :  it  was  my  mother's  farewell  to  me.  She  wrote  that, 
if  I  loved  her  and  desired  her  life  and  happiness,  I  must 
not  grieve  but  work  hard  at  my  lessons.  She  had  left  the 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  15 

town  at  eight  on  the  previous  evening.  I  remember  that 
moment  clearly,  but  I  cannot  describe  it :  a  feeling  of 
pain  pierced  my  heart  and  compressed  it,  and  stopped  my 
breathing  ;  and  this  was  immediately  followed  by  severe 
palpitation.  I  sat  down  on  the  bed  half-dressed  and 
looked  round  the  room,  dazed  and  despairing.  Upadi- 
shevsky,  who  had  moved  me  into  his  dormitory  two  days 
before,  knew  of  my  mother's  departure  and  consequently 
understood  the  cause  of  my  condition.  Ordering  that  no 
one  should  touch  me,  he  took  all  the  other  boys  upstairs 
at  once,  handed  them  over  to  one  of  the  masters,  and 
hurried  back  to  me.  He  found  me  sitting  on  my  bed  in  the 
same  position,  and  Yevseitch  in  tears  standing  beside  me. 
To  all  that  he  could  say  I  turned  a  deaf  ear  :  I  could  not 
form  a  single  thought,  and  my  eyes,  as  I  was  told  after- 
wards, stared  wildly.  I  was  taken  to  the  hospital ;  there 
too  I  sat  down  mechanically  on  a  bed,  and  stared  in  silence 
as  before.  Within  an  hour  Dr.  Benis  came ;  he  examined 
me,  shook  his  head,  and  said  something  in  French ;  I 
heard  later  from  others  that  the  words  were  "  pauvre 
enfant."  I  was  given  some  repulsive  medicine  to  swallow, 
undressed,  and  put  to  bed,  where  I  was  rubbed  with 
flannel ;  and  soon  a  violent  fit  of  shivering  restored  me  to 
consciousness.  I  called  out  loudly,  "  Mother  has  gone 
away  !  "  and  the  streams  of  pent-up  tears  gushed  from  my 
eyes.  This  evidently  relieved  the  doctor :  he  sat  down 
beside  me  and  began  to  speak  of  my  mother's  departure 
and  of  its  necessity  for  the  sake  of  her  health,  of  the 
danger  of  a  final  interview,  and  of  the  way  in  which  a 
sensible  boy  should  behave  in  such  a  case,  if  he  loved  his 
mother  and  wished  to  set  her  mind  at  rest.  His  words 
were  a  real  inspiration  from  above  ;  for  the  doctor,  though 
a  very  worthy  man,  was  not  exactly  remarkable  for 
gentleness  of  disposition.  Though  my  tears  flowed  still 
faster,  yet  I  felt  better.  The  doctor  left,  and  I  sobbed  on 
for  two  hours  till  I  cried  myself  to  sleep  ;  and  kindly  sleep 
did  something  to  restore  my  strength.  Upadishevsky 
came  to  see  me  several  times  and  brought  a  book  for  me 
to  read,  The  Child's  Instructor,  which  I  had  never  seen ; 
he  knew  my  passion  for  reading,  but  I  was  in  no  mood  for  it 
then.  I  asked  leave  to  write,  and  wrote  to  my  father 


16  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

and  mother  all  that  day  and  all  the  evening,  crying  most 
of  the  time.  Yevs&tch  never  left  me.  Next  morning  the 
doctor  found  me  in  better  health,  and  discharged  me  from 
the  hospital,  thinking  the  society  of  invalids  and  the 
inactivity  bad  for  me  ;  but  he  directed  that  I  should  not 
be  worked  hard. 

Upadishevsky  himself  took  me  back  into  school,  where 
I  found  a  writing-class  going  on  ;  and  this  was  followed  by 
a  divinity  lesson  with  the  priest.  For  two  hours  I  listened, 
while  the  other  boys  repeated  their  lessons  on  the  Catechism 
and  Bible  history,  and  the  priest  set  a  fresh  lesson  and 
explained  some  difficulty  at  great  length  ;  but  I  could  not 
understand  his  explanations  either  on  this  occasion  or  on 
any  other  while  I  remained  at  the  school.  I  had  not  learnt 
the  lesson  for  that  day,  and  the  priest  had  been  informed 
of  my  illness  ;  a  strict  and  severe  man,  he  did  not  go 
beyond  a  reprimand,  but  told  me  to  have  my  lesson  pre- 
pared next  time.  After  dinner,  in  order  that  I  might  not 
remain  idle  and  a  prey  to  sad  thoughts,  Upadishevsky 
handed  me  over  to  one  of  the  older  boys  who  drew  well, 
Ilya  Zhevanoff,  that  he  might  amuse  me  in  that  way  ;  as 
a  child,  I  had  had  a  great  fancy  for  drawing.  I  myself 
heard  the  kind  old  man  say  to  Zhevanoff  :  "  Please  do  me 
a  great  kindness  which  I  shall  never  forget,  and  amuse 
this  poor  home-sick  boy  by  drawing  with  him  "  ;  and 
Zhevanoff  consented.  But  neither  then  nor  later  did  my 
drawing  come  to  anything  :  the  copying  of  circles,  eye- 
brows, noses,  eyes,  and  lips,  had  set  me  against  drawing 
for  good  and  all. 

At  the  end  of  afternoon  school,  Upadishevsky,  still  my 
good  genius,  made  me  repeat  my  lessons  beside  him  ;  and, 
when  he  saw  that  I  did  not  understand  what  I  was  saying, 
he  began  to  talk  to  me  of  my  life  at  home  and  of  my 
parents,  and  even  allowed  me  to  cry  a  little.  I  do  not 
know  how  life  would  have  gone  on  with  me ;  but  at  this 
point  there  came  a  complete  and  sudden  change.  The  next 
day  but  one,  during  dinner,  Yevs&tch  handed  me  a  note 
from  my  mother,  which  said  that,  after  travelling  ninety 
versts  from  Kazan,  she  had  come  back  to  have  at  least  a 
momentary  glimpse  of  me  ;  to  leave  without  a  proper 
parting  had  proved  too  much  for  her.  I  cannot  explain 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  17 

to  myself  why  I  did  not  at  the  first  moment  feel  the 
immense  happiness  which  I  surely  ought  to  have  felt.  I 
suppose  I  was  afraid  to  believe  it  and  took  it  for  a  dream. 
There  was  a  note  also  for  Upadishevsky  :  my  mother 
asked  him  to  give  me  leave  from  six  till  nine  in  the  evening  ; 
or,  if  that  was  impossible,  she  would  come  herself;  she 
added  that  she  would  only  spend  one  night  in  Kazan.  He 
told  me  to  write  to  my  mother,  that  she  was  not  to  be 
anxious  and  not  to  come  herself ;  he  would  send  me  with 
Yevseitch,  perhaps  before  six,  as  the  teacher  of  the  last 
lesson  was  not  well  and  would  probably  not  turn  up  ;  and 
I  might  stay  with  her  till  seven  next  morning.  As  I  wrote 
all  this,  I  felt  sure  that  I  was  in  a  dream.  Yevseitch  has- 
tened off  with  my  letter,  and  returned  in  an  hour  and  a  half 
with  an  answer  of  such  joy  and  gratitude  to  Upadishevsky 
that  the  old  man's  eyes  grew  wet  as  he  read  it.  Yevseitch 
told  us  that  his  mistress  had  returned  alone  ;  she  had 
turned  back  at  a  village  ninety  versts  away  along  the  post- 
road  ;  his  master  had  remained  there  with  the  young  lady, 
who  was  not  well ;  and  my  mother  had  travelled  with 
post-horses  in  a  light  courier's  sledge,  accompanied  by  one 
maid  and  one  man.  I  began  to  realise  the  situation  and 
to  believe  in  my  good  fortune,  and  was  soon  so  completely 
convinced  of  it  that  the  last  hour  of  suspense  was  a  terrible 
trial.  The  teacher  sent  notice  that  he  would  not  come  ; 
and  at  five  minutes  past  four  I  got  into  a  hired  sledge, 
attended  by  Yevseitch  and  crazy  with  happiness  beyond 
description. 

My  mother  was  staying  with  some  friends  whose  name 
I  forget ;  but  it  was  certainly  not  at  an  inn.  When  I  ran 
into  the  room,  I  saw  her,  looking  pale  and  thin,  wrapped 
up  in  a  warm  cloak,  and  sitting  beside  a  newly  lighted 
stove,  as  the  room  was  very  cold.  The  first  moment  of  our 
meeting  it  is  impossible  for  me  to  describe  ;  but  never  in 
after  life  did  I  experience  a  thrill  of  happiness  to  compare 
with  that.  For  some  minutes  we  were  silent  and  only  wept 
for  joy.  But  this  did  not  last  long  :  the  thought  of 
coming  separation  soon  drove  all  other  thoughts  and 
feelings  from  me,  and  made  my  heart  ache.  With  bitter 
tears  I  told  my  mother  all  that  had  happened  to  me  since 
her  sudden  departure.  I  was  frightened  by  the  effect  of 

B 


18  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

my  story.  How  my  poor  mother  blamed  herself,  and 
repented  of  her  promise  to  deceive  me  and  go  away  without 
saying  goodbye !  Then  she  told  me  about  herself.  She 
had  fainted  on  getting  into  the  sledge,  and  had  no  recol- 
lection of  leaving  Kazan.  As  she  got  farther  away,  her 
suffering  increased  every  hour,  and  soon  the  idea  of  return- 
ing took  hold  of  her  ;  but  my  father's  arguments  and  her 
own  good  sense  restrained  her  for  some  time  from  the 
course  on  which  her  heart  was  set.  At  last  she  was  unable 
any  longer  to  withstand  her  feelings,  and  she  returned 
alone ;  my  sister,  unwell  already  and  unfit  for  travel, 
needed  rest,  and  was  to  wait  with  my  father  till  my 
mother  rejoined  them.  That  whole  evening,  with  a  great 
part  of  the  night,  was  spent  by  us  in  talking  and  in  weeping ; 
but,  as  there  are  limits  to  all  things,  we  came  to  an  end  of 
our  tears  and  went  to  sleep.  I  remember  how  I  started 
in  my  sleep  several  times  and  began  sobbing,  till  my 
mother  took  me  in  her  arms  and  laid  my  head  on  her 
breast,  and  I  fell  asleep  again.  We  were  wakened  at  six 
o'clock.  We  were  calmer  and  braver  by  that  time.  My 
mother  promised  that,  as  soon  as  the  roads  were  open  in 
summer,1  she  would  come  to  Kazan  and  stay  till  the 
examinations  were  over ;  and  after  the  speech-day,  which 
was  always  near  the  beginning  of  July,  she  would  take  me 
home  for  the  holidays  which  would  last  till  the  middle  of 
August.  A  feeling  of  comfort  filled  my  heart ;  and  we 
said  goodbye  calmly  enough.  At  seven  my  mother  got 
into  the  sledge  she  had  come  in,  and  Yevseitch  and  I  into 
another,  and  we  all  started  together.  She  drove  to  the 
right,  towards  the  town-gate,  and  I  to  the  left,  towards  the 
school ;  we  soon  turned  off  the  main  street,  and  her  sledge 
vanished  from  my  sight. 

My  heart  ached,  and  a  load  of  pain  lay  on  my  breast ; 
but  my  head  was  perfectly  clear,  and  I  fully  understood 
all  that  was  going  on  around  me  and  all  that  lay  ahead  of 
me  in  the  future.  The  great  white  building  of  the  school, 
with  its  bright  green  roof  and  cupola,  stood  on  a  hill,  and 
the  sudden  appearance  of  it  surprised  me  as  much  as  if  I 
had  never  seen  it  before.  It  seemed  to  me  like  a  terrible 
enchanted  castle  such  as  I  had  read  of,  or  a  prison  where  I 

1  The  spring1  thaw  makes  travelling  impossible  for  a  time. 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  Id 

was  to  be  shut  up  as  a  convict.  The  great  door  between 
columns  at  the  top  of  a  high  flight  of  steps,  which,  when  it 
was  opened  by  the  old  pensioner,  I  felt  had  swallowed  me 
up — the  two  broad  high  staircases,  lit  from  the  cupola 
and  leading  from  the  hall  to  the  first  and  second  floors — 
the  shouting  and  confused  noise  of  many  voices,  that  came 
from  all  the  class-rooms  to  meet  me,  the  teachers  being 
still  absent — all  this  I  saw  and  heard  and  understood  for 
the  first  time.  I  had  already  spent  more  than  a  week  in  the 
school,  but  had  never  realised  it ;  now  for  the  first  time  I 
felt  myself  to  be  a  Government  scholar  in  a  Government 
school. 

The  whole  day  each  thing  that  happened  was  new  and 
surprising,  and  oh  !  how  repulsive  it  all  seemed  to  me  ! 
We  rose  at  the  sound  of  a' bell,  long  before  daylight,  when 
there  was  an  intolerable  smell  in  the  rooms  from  the 
guttering  or  extinguished  night-lights  and  tallow  candles  ; 
the  cold  in  the  dormitories  1  made  rising  even  more  un- 
pleasant for  a  poor  child  who  could  barely  keep  warm 
under  his  frieze  coverlet ;  we  washed  all  together  at 
copper  basins  which  were  always  the  scene  of  quarrels  and 
fights  ;  we  marched  two  and  two  to  prayers,  to  breakfast, 
to  lessons,  and  to  everything  ;  our  breakfast  consisted  of  a 
roll  and  a  glass  of  milk  and  water  in  equal  proportions,  with 
a  glass  of  sbiten  2  instead  of  milk  and  water  on  fast-days  ; 
we  had  three  courses  at  dinner  and  two  at  supper,  but  they 
were  not  better  meals  than  breakfast.  How  was  all  this 
likely  to  strike  a  boy  whom  his  mother  had  petted  and 
made  much  of  and  brought  up  as  luxuriously  as  if  we  had 
been  very  rich  ?  But  more  terrible  to  me  than  anything 
else  were  my  companions.  The  oldest  boys  and  those  in 
the  middle  of  the  school  took  no  notice  of  me  ;  but  those 
of  my  own  age  or  even  younger,  who  were  at  the  bottom 
of  the  school,  were  for  the  most  part  intolerably  rude  and 
rough  ;  and,  though  there  were  exceptions,  I  had  so  little  in 
common  even  with  them,  and  we  differed  so  much  in  ideas 
and  interests  and  habits,  that  I  could  not  make  friends  with 


1  The  temperature  of  the  dormitories  was  kept  at  53°,  as  is  still  the 
custom  in  all  Government  schools.  In  my  opinion,  this  is  positively 
harmful  to  children  ;  it  ought  not  to  be  lower  than  58°.  (Author's  Note.) 

-  A  drink  made  of  honey  and  hot  water. 


20  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

them  ;  and  I  remained  solitary  in  the  midst  of  numbers. 
They  were  all  healthy  and  contented  and  unbearably 
cheerful,  and  not  a  single  one  of  them  was  in  the  least 
degree  depressed  or  thoughtful  or  likely  to  sympathise 
with  my  constant  sadness.  If  there  had  been,  I  would  have 
rushed  boldly  into  his  arms  and  shared  my  secret  with  him. 
"How  strange  it  is!"  I  said  to  myself;  "these  boys 
cannot  have  father  or  mother,  brothers  or  sisters,  nor 
house  and  garden  in  the  country,"  and  I  was  inclined  to 
pity  them.  But  I  soon  found  out  that  almost  all  of  them 
had  parents  and  families,  and  some  had  even  homes  in  the 
country  with  gardens  ;  but  one  thing  they  had  not — that 
feeling  of  intense  attachment  to  home  and  family  that  filled 
my  own  heart.  As  a  matter  of  course,  I  at  once  became 
an  object  of  ridicule  to  my  companions  :  I  was  a  nincom- 
poop, a  cry-baby,  and  a  milksop  who  was  always  "  blubbing 
for  his  mammy."  Upadishevsky  never  ceased  to  watch 
over  me  night  and  day,  but  neither  his  authority  nor  his 
moral  influence  could  shield  me  from  this  form  of  perse- 
cution. He  told  me  himself  never  to  complain  of  the  boys' 
mockery,  as  he  knew  very  well  how  "  sneaks  "  are  hated  in 
schools,  and  that  this  label  is  attached  to  any  persecuted 
boy  who  ventures  to  complain  to  the  authorities.  He 
put  my  bed  between  the  beds  of  two  much  older  boys  ; 
their  names  were  Kondiryoff  and  Moreyeff ;  both  were  well- 
behaved  boys  and  also  hard  workers.  He  handed  me  over 
to  their  protection,  and,  thanks  to  them,  no  young  scamp 
ventured  to  approach  my  bed.  I  should  mention  that  in 
those  days  our  accommodation  was  so  limited,  that  the 
Government  scholars  and  pensioners  *  spent  in  their 
dormitories  all  the  time  that  they  were  not  in  school. 

After  definitively  parting  from  my  mother,  I  began  at 
once  to  work  hard  at  my  lessons.  Through  Upadishevsky 
I  asked  my  teachers  to  set  me  twice  or  thrice  as  much  as 
the  usual  tasks,  in  order  to  catch  up  the  older  boys  and  get 
promotion  from  the  newcomers'  bench.  My  memory  and 
power  of  understanding  were  already  strongly  developed, 
and  within  a  month  I  had  not  only  distanced  my  con- 
temporaries but  was  placed  on  the  top  bench  in  all  sub- 
jects, side  by  side  with  the  best  scholars.  This  circum- 

1  I.e.  Boys  who  paid  for  their  education  and  maintenance. 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  21 

stance  made  me  even  more  unpopular  both  with  those 
whom  I  had  passed  and  those  who  were  still  my  rivals. 

Just  at  this  time  the  headmaster,  Nikolai  Kamasheff, 
returned  to  his  duties.  He  was  considered  a  very  able 
man.  I  do  not  know  if  he  deserved  this  reputation  ;  but 
he  certainly  was  a  cold  hard  man,  who  always  spoke  low 
and  with  a  smile,  but  always  acted  with  inflexible  deter- 
mination. All  without  exception  feared  him  much  more 
than  they  did  the  Rector.  He  loved  power,  knew  how  to 
acquire  it,  and  was  exacting  to  pedantry  in  his  use  of  it. 
Upadishevsky  had  foreseen  that  he  would  get  into  trouble  ; 
and,  in  fact,  Kamasheff  at  once  discovered  all  the  departures 
from  school  rules  which  had  been  sanctioned  by  his  repre- 
sentative for  my  mother  and  me — interviews  with  parents 
at  times  not  recognised  by  the  rules,  unlawful  leave  home, 
and  (worst  of  all)  leave  for  the  night.  My  benefactor  got 
such  a  reprimand  that  the  old  gentleman  walked  about  for 
a  long  time  looking  very  serious.  Kamasheff  had  said  to 
him  with  his  quiet  smile  :  "  If  anything  of  the  kind  ever 
occurs  in  future,  I  shall  request  you,  my  dear  Sir,  to  retire 
from  your  service  in  this  school."  When  I  heard  of  this, 
I  shed  bitter  tears  and  conceived  an  invincible  aversion 
and  horror  for  the  very  name  of  the  headmaster.  And  I 
had  some  reason  ;  for  he  took  a  dislike  to  me  without 
cause  and  became  my  persecutor,  and  his  oppression  cost 
my  poor  mother  many  tears  in  the  sequel. 

Three  days  after  his  return,  Kamasheff  summoned  me 
out  of  the  ranks  to  the  centre  of  the  hall  and  delivered  for 
my  benefit  a  rather  long  address  :  a  spoilt  boy,  he  said,  was 
a  regular  nuisance  ;  and  it  was  mean  to  take  advantage 
of  undue  indulgence  shown  by  authorities,  and  wrong  to 
be  ungrateful  to  the  Government  which  generously  took 
upon  itself  the  considerable  expense  of  my  education. 
Though  mild  and  quiet  by  disposition,  I  was  naturally 
sensitive  and  excitable.  I  stood  there,  with  my  eyes  on 
the  floor,  while  a  feeling  hitherto  unknown  swelled  within 
my  breast,  a  feeling  of  anger  at  undeserved  insult.  "  Why 
do  you  not  look  at  me  ?  " — Kamasheff  called  out ;  "  it  is 
a  bad  sign,  when  a  boy  hides  his  eyes  and  dares  not.  or  will 
not,  look  his  master  in  the  face."  Then  he  raised  his  voice 
and  said  in  a  severe  tone,  "  Look  at  me  !  "  I  raised  my 


22  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

eyes ;  and  I  suppose  they  expressed  pretty  clearly  the 
feeling  of  insulted  pride  which  filled  my  young  breast ; 
for  he  turned  away  and  said,  as  he  went  out,  to  Upadishev- 
sky,  "That  boy  is  by  no  means  as  mild  and  good-tempered 
as  you  make  out."  I  heard  afterwards  that  he  wished  to 
remove  me  from  the  dormitory  I  was  in,  and  demanded 
reports  from  all  my  teachers  and  masters ;  but,  when  he 
found  in  all  of  them  "  Conduct  and  diligence  exemplary, 
proficiency  remarkable,"  he  left  me  where  I  was.  During 
the  whole  of  my  first  term,  he  constantly  examined  my 
books  and  note-books  in  form  and  made  the  teachers 
question  me  in  his  presence ;  sometimes  he  found  fault 
with  me  for  trifles  or  told  the  masters  that  they  must 
make  me  play  with  the  other  boys,  adding,  "  I  don't  like 
your  silent  solitary  boys."  I  understand  now  that  such  a 
criticism  is  justified  in  some  cases,  but  it  was  quite  un- 
suitable to  mine  and  only  increased  my  natural  irritation. 
Upadishevsky  really  loved  me  and  watched  over  me  with 
a  mother's  care  :  every  day  he  inspected  my  clothes  and 
bedding,  and  saw  that  my  hands  were  clean  and  my  books 
in  good  order.  He  often  impressed  upon  me  that  I  must 
look  the  headmaster  straight  in  the  face  and  bear  his 
remarks  and  reprimands  in  silence  ;  and  I  carried  out  these 
instructions  exactly,  because  I  loved  Upadishevsky. 

But  this  did  not  conciliate  Kamasheff.  By  the  school 
rules,  none  of  the  boys  might  have  private  property  or 
money  of  their  own  ;  if  they  had  money,  it  was  kept  by 
the  dormitory-master  and  might  not  be  spent  without  the 
headmaster's  consent.  To  buy  food  or  sweets  was  strictly 
forbidden  ;  of  course,  there  were  breaches  of  this  rule,  but 
they  were  carefully  concealed.  There  was  also  a  rule  that 
boys'  letters  to  their  parents  and  relations  should  pass 
through  the  hands  of  the  masters  ;  each  boy  was  obliged 
to  give  up  his  letter,  before  it  was  sealed  and  sent  to  the 
post,  to  the  dormitory-master,  who  had  a  right  to  read  it, 
if  he  felt  any  distrust  of  the  writer.  Though  this  rule  was 
in  practice  disregarded,  Kamasheff  instructed  Upadishevsky 
to  show  him  my  letters.  The  kind  old  man  had  always 
added  a  postscript  to  my  letters  home,  without  reading 
them  ;  but  now  he  was  obliged  to  harden  his  heart  and  act 
as  censor  of  what  I  wrote.  My  first  letter  which  he  read 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  23 

placed  him  in  a  very  difficult  position  :  I  described  the 
grief  I  suffered  daily,  I  complained  of  my  companions  and 
even  of  my  teachers,  and  I  expressed  a  burning  desire  to 
see  my  mother,  and  to  leave  the  hateful  school  as  soon  as 
possible  and  spend  the  summer  in  the  country ;  and  that 
was  all.  There  was  nothing  wrong  in  it ;  but  the  reader 
felt  sure  that  every  word  would  be  criminal  in  the  eyes  of 
the  headmaster  :  he  would  find  there  discontent,  criticism 
of  authority,  calumny  against  the  school,  and  ingratitude 
to  Government.  What  was  to  be  done  ?  Upadishevsky 
was  unwilling  at  once  to  reveal  to  me  the  actual  state  of 
affairs,  for  that  would  be  much  the  same  as  conspiring  with 
a  boy  against  his  superior.  He  felt  also  that  I  would  not 
understand  him,  and  would  be  unable  to  write  a  letter  of 
the  kind  that  Kamasheff  would  approve  ;  but  to  deprive 
my  mother  of  my  frank  and  full  letters  which  were  her 
only  consolation,  was  impossible  to  his  kind  heart.  For 
a  whole  night  and  day  he  puzzled  over  the  difficulty  without 
finding  a  solution — he  told  me  this  himself  afterwards  ; 
and  at  last  he  made  up  his  mind  to  tell  me  the  whole  truth 
and  at  the  same  time  to  play  a  trick  upon  his  senior  and 
superior.  Accordingly,  he  dictated  to  me  another  letter 
in  a  purely  formal  style,  and  showed  this  to  Kamasheff,  who 
naturally  could  find  nothing  in  it  to  blame  me  for.  Both 
letters  were  sent  together  to  the  post.  After  this  I  wrote 
two  letters  every  time,  one  for  show  and  the  other  private, 
and  I  went  on  with  this,  even  after  my  tyrant  had  ceased 
to  read  my  correspondence.  Upadishevsky  himself  wrote 
at  once  to  my  mother,  to  explain  the  reason  of  this  con- 
trivance. Yevseltch  took  the  letters  to  the  post  in  person. 
I  could  not  then  appreciate  the  full  extent  of  my  bene- 
factor's self-sacrifice,  but  my  mother  could,  and  she  wrote 
to  Upadishevsky  and  expressed  the  most  ardent  gratitude 
that  a  mother's  heart  could  feel.  I  need  hardly  say, 
that,  though  she  did  not  know  all  the  details  of  it,  she 
was  much  agitated  by  Kamasheff's  persecution  of  her 
son. 

Things  continued  to  go  on  as  before  ;  but  a  change  took 
place  in  me  which  ought  to  have  seemed  strange  and  un- 
natural to  those  around  me.  For,  though  in  the  course  of 
six  weeks  I  ought  to  have  become  accustomed  to  the  new 


24  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

life,  I  became  thoughtful  and  sad ;  and  then  sadness  led 
on  to  fits  of  misery  and  finally  to  illness.  The  change  was 
probably  due  to  two  causes.  When  I  had  caught  up  my 
class-mates  in  all  our  lessons,  I  was  given  ordinary  tasks 
which  were  so  short  that  I  often  learnt  them  before  we 
were  let  out  of  school,  and  consequently  had  nothing  to 
do  in  our  free  time ;  and  my  active  mind,  deprived  of 
proper  nourishment,  turned  exclusively  in  one  direction. 
I  was  constantly  turning  over  and  considering  my  present 
situation,  constantly  picturing  all  that  was  going  on  at 
home,  dwelling  on  my  mother's  longing  for  me,  and  re- 
calling the  old  days  of  bliss  spent  in  the  country.  In  my 
heart  I  hated  the  school  and  was  convinced  in  my  own 
mind  that  the  process  of  education  was  entirely  useless 
and  only  served  to  turn  innocent  children  into  objectionable 
boys.  The  second  and  perhaps  the  main  cause  of  the 
change  was  the  unfair  persecution  of  Kamasheff.  Each 
time  he  appeared  in  the  place,  he  gave  a  shock  to  my 
nerves  ;  and  he  paid  two  visits  every  day  at  unfixed  times  : 
there  was  no  hour,  either  by  day  or  night,  at  which  he 
might  not  make  a  perfectly  sudden  and  unexpected 
appearance  in  the  school.  I  am  able  now  to  do  justice  to 
his  ceaseless  activity,  though  it  was  too  strict  and 
mechanical ;  but  then  he  seemed  to  me  a  mere  tyrant,  an 
ogre,  an  evil  spirit,  who  appeared  to  spring  out  of  the 
earth  even  in  places  that  were  safe  from  the  eye  of  the 
other  masters.  His  terrible  image  haunted  my  young 
brain,  and  the  oppression  of  his  presence  was  always  with 
me.  In  the  meantime,  my  secret  letters  to  my  mother 
became  much  shorter  than  before,  and  I  wrote  them  with 
ever-increasing  anxiety  and  caution.  For  I  now  under- 
stood the  constraint  which  Upadishevsky  was  putting 
upon  his  honest  and  open  nature,  and  the  risk  he  ran. 
A  third  reason  for  the  change  in  me  was  produced  by  the 
course  of  time.  By  the  end  of  March  and  beginning  of 
April  the  sun  became  very  hot,  the  snow  melted,  and 
streams  of  water  flowed  through  the  streets  ;  there  was  a 
breath  of  spring  in  the  air,  and  this  was  a  trial  to  the  nerves 
of  a  child  who  had  a  passionate  if  still  unconscious  love  of 
nature.  It  is  a  known  fact  that  the  sun's  rays  in  spring 
have  a  disturbing  effect  on  the  constitution ;  and  I  dis- 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  25 

tinctly  remember  that  I  was  much  more  depressed  on 
sunny  days  than  when  the  weather  was  dull. 

Be  that  as  it  may,  I  became  "  absorbed  "  :  I  mean  that 
I  ceased  to  listen  to  the  talk  of  others  ;  I  learned  my 
lessons  and  repeated  them  without  interest ;  I  heard  the 
criticism  or  approval  of  my  teachers  ;  and  all  the  time, 
while  I  was  looking  them  straight  in  the  face,  I  was  fancy- 
ing myself  at  dear  Aksakovo,  sheltered  by  my  mother's 
love  in  my  peaceful  home.  This  always  passed  for  mere 
inattention.  To  give  greater  reality  to  my  dreams,  which 
grew  more  vivid  every  day,  I  used  to  shut  my  eyes,  and 
was  often  jogged  by  my  neighbours  who  thought  I  was 
sleeping.  One  day,  during  a  lesson  in  Russian  Grammar, 
a  malicious  boy  named  Rooshka  called  out,  "  Aksakoff  is 
asleep  !  "  The  teacher  asked  other  boys  whether  this  was 
true,  and  nearly  punished  me  by  making  me  kneel  down, 
when  they  said  that  it  was.  I  did  not  shut  my  eyes  in 
school  after  that ;  but,  when  I  had  said  my  lesson,  I  often 
made  use  of  a  familiar  pretext  to  leave  the  room  ;  and  then 
I  could  sometimes  stand  in  peace  for  a  quarter  of  an  hour 
in  some  passage-corner,  and  close  my  eyes,  and  dream. 
When  afternoon  school  was  over,  the  boys  romped  for 
half  an  hour  in  the  reception-hall,  while  I  kept  out  of  it, 
if  I  was  allowed ;  and  then  we  had  all  to  sit  down,  each 
at  the  little  table  by  his  bed,  and  learn  the  lessons  for  next 
day.  I  too  sat  down  and  placed  a  book  before  me  ;  and, 
amid  the  murmur  of  boys'  voices  conning  over  their  lessons, 
my  thoughts  always  travelled  to  the  same  spot,  the  Para- 
dise of  my  country  home  on  the  bank  of  the  Boogoorooslan. 

Soon,  however,  this  violent  strain  upon  the  imagination 
reached  a  pitch  which  proved  injurious  to  my  health.  I 
began  to  suffer  from  hysterical  fits,  accompanied  by  such 
violent  weeping  and  sobbing  that  I  lost  consciousness  for 
some  minutes  ;  and  I  was  told  later  that  at  such  times  the 
muscles  of  my  face  were  convulsed.  I  was  able  at  first  to 
conceal  my  condition  to  some  extent  from  observation. 
I  did  this  unconsciously  ;  perhaps  a  secret  feeling  told  me 
that  I  should  be  prevented  from  giving  myself  up  to  those 
dreams  which  were  my  only  comfort.  The  trouble 
generally  came  upon  me  in  the  evening  ;  I  felt  it  coming, 
and  used  to  run  down  the  back  stairs  to  an  inner  yard, 


26  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

where  all  the  boys  might  go  in  case  of  necessity  ;  or  some- 
times I  hid  behind  a  pillar,  sometimes  in  the  corner  formed 
by  the  high  staircase  where  it  rose  from  the  centre  of  the 
building  ;  sometimes  I  ran  upstairs  and  sat  in  a  corner  of 
the  landing  on  the  first  floor,  which  was  dimly  lighted 
from  below  by  a  hanging  lamp.  The  cold  air  probably 
helped  to  shorten  the  attack,  and  I  could  go  back  to  my 
place  in  my  usual  condition.  But  once  I  took  refuge  in  an 
open  class-room  which  was  being  cleaned  out,  and  hid, 
though  I  cannot  remember  doing  this,  under  one  of  the 
desks.  I  fancy  that  this  fit  lasted  unusually  long,  and 
perhaps  this  was  due  to  the  close  atmosphere  of  the  room 
where  it  came  on.  A  porter  noticed  me  and  tried  to  turn 
me  out ;  but,  when  I  did  not  answer  him,  he  told  a  tutor, 
who  recognised  me  and  informed  Upadishevsky.  The  old 
man  ran  upstairs  in  great  alarm ;  but  it  happened  that  I 
recovered  at  that  very  moment  and  went  quietly  back 
with  him  to  the  dormitory. 

Before  this  incident  Upadishevsky  had  felt  fairly  easy 
about  me  :  I  had  been  nearly  two  months  in  the  school 
and  was  showing  diligence  in  my  studies  ;  and,  though  he 
noticed  that  I  was  often  either  inattentive  or  absorbed  in 
some  way,  he  attached  no  special  importance  to  this.  Now 
he  questioned  me  minutely;  and  I  told  him  fully  and  frankly 
all  I  knew  of  my  own  condition ;  but  there  was  much 
I  could  not  understand,  and  much  I  could  not  remember. 
Throughout  the  night,  he  and  Yevseitch  watched  over  me  ; 
and  I  slept  quite  peacefully  till  morning.  I  ought  to  say 
that  throughout  the  first  period  of  my  illness  I  always  slept 
well  at  night ;  I  mention  this  because  in  the  later  stages 
sleeplessness  was  one  of  the  chief  symptoms.  Early  next 
morning,  Dr.  Benis  came  as  usual  to  the  hospital,  where  I 
had  been  taken  by  Upadishevsky  ;  he  questioned  me  and 
examined  me  attentively,  and  found  me  rather  thin  and 
pale  and  my  pulse  irregular.  Yet  he  prescribed  no  medicine 
and  let  me  go  back  into  school ;  I  was  not  to  work  too  hard 
— he  did  not  believe  me  when  I  said  my  lessons  were  too 
easy — and  he  gave  directions  that  I  was  to  be  watched  and 
not  allowed  to  go  anywhere  alone.  He  added  that  he  wished 
to  see  me  every  morning  at  the  time  of  his  visit  to  the 
hospital.  Upadishevsky  took  all  necessary  measures  :  he 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  27 

visited  me  constantly  himself,  and  put  me  in  charge  of  two 
boys  who  were  to  keep  an  eye  on  me  whenever  we  were  out 
of  school ;  and  Yevseitch  was  told  to  go  with  me,  every 
time  I  went  out  to  the  back-yard.  A  report  spread 
throughout  the  school,  that  I  was  catching  the  "  black 
sickness,"  l  and  I  was  frightened,  though  I  did  not  under- 
stand the  meaning  of  the  words.  It  seemed  to  me  very 
unpleasant  that  outsiders  should  keep  constant  watch  over 
my  every  movement ;  and  I  felt  listless  and  sad  all  that 
evening.  The  pleasure  of  my  day-dreams  was  now 
familiar,  and  the  thought  that  I  was  being  watched  by 
several  pairs  of  eyes  prevented  me  from  enjoying  this 
pleasure  and  burying  the  bitter  reality  out  of  sight ;  but, 
for  all  that,  the  evening  passed  off  successfully — I  had  no 
violent  distress  or  hysterical  attack.  Upadishevsky  and 
Yevseitch  were  delighted ;  the  doctor  also  was  much 
pleased  when  I  visited  him  next  day  in  the  hospital  and  he 
was  told  that  I  had  spent  the  whole  day  and  night  in  peace. 
Though  he  found  my  pulse  as  irregular  as  before,  he  gave 
me  no  medicine  and  let  me  go,  declaring  that  things  would 
come  right  and  that  Nature  would  overcome  unaided 
whatever  was  amiss. 

But  next  day  it  turned  out  that  the  evil  was  not  cured  but 
only  changed  :  at  nine  in  the  morning,  during  a  lesson  in 
arithmetic,  I  felt  a  sudden  severe  oppression  on  the  chest, 
and  a  few  minutes  later  burst  out  sobbing,  and  then  fell 
senseless  on  the  floor.  There  was  a  great  stir,  and 
Upadishevsky  was  sent  for ;  by  good  fortune,  he  was  in 
the  house,2  and  he  had  me  carried  to  the  dormitory,  where 
I  came  to  myself  in  a  quarter  of  an  hour,  and  even  went 
back  into  school.  But  in  the  evening  there  was  a  second 
fit  which  lasted  much  longer.  My  kind  benefactor  and 
my  devoted  attendant  were  excessively  alarmed.  This 
time  the  doctor  gave  me  some  drops,  which  I  was  to  take 
whenever  I  felt  the  oppression  coming  on  ;  on  fast-days 
I  was  to  have  ordinary  food  from  the  hospital  and  a 
roll  instead  of  brown  bread ;  but  on  no  account  was  he 


1  I.e.  Epilepsy. 

2  Of  the  four  ushers,  two  were  always  on  duty  and  on  the  spot ;  but 
the  other  two  might  ahsent  themselves  during  schooltime ;    at  dinner 
and  supper  all  four  were  present.     (Author's  Note.) 


28  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

willing  that  I  should  stay  in  the  hospital.  The  drops  did 
me  good  at  first,  and  I  had  no  fainting-fit  for  three  days, 
though  I  was  depressed  and  cried  at  times ;  but  then, 
whether  it  was  that  my  system  became  accustomed  to  the 
medicine  or  that  the  illness  was  gaining  strength — the  fits 
grew  more  frequent  and  more  violent. 

No  period  of  my  childhood  do  I  remember  with  more 
perfect  distinctness  than  my  first  term  at  school.  I  could 
describe  accurately  and  with  every  detail — though  I 
certainly  have  no  intention  of  doing  so — the  whole  course 
of  my  strange  malady.  Like  every  one  else,  I  believed  at 
the  time  that  no  cause  could  be  assigned  for  the  coming-on 
of  these  fits  ;  but  now  I  am  convinced  of  the  contrary  : 
they  were  always  produced  by  some  sudden  recollection  of 
that  past  life,  which  presented  itself  to  me  in  a  moment, 
with  all  the  liveliness  and  clearness  of  dreams  at  night. 
Sometimes  I  reached  these  manifestations  consciously  and 
gradually,  by  plunging  into  the  inexhaustible  treasury  of 
recollection,  but  at  other  times  they  visited  me  without 
any  wish  or  thought  of  mine.  When  I  was  thinking  of 
something  quite  different,  even  when  I  was  entirely  taken 
up  by  my  lessons,  suddenly  the  sound  of  someone's  voice, 
probably  like  some  voice  I  had  heard  before,  or  a  patch  of 
sunlight  on  wall  or  window,  such  as  had  once  before 
thrown  light  in  just  the  same  way  upon  objects  dear  and 
familiar,  or  a  fly  buzzing  and  beating  against  the  panes, 
as  I  had  often  watched  them  do  when  I  was  a  child — such 
sights  and  sounds,  instantly  and  for  one  instant,  though 
no  consciousness  could  detect  the  process,  recalled  the 
forgotten  past  and  gave  a  shock  to  my  overstrung  nerves. 
In  some  cases,  however,  the  explanation  was  clear  at  once. 
Thus  I  was  saying  a  lesson  one  day,  when  suddenly  a 
pigeon  perched  on  the  window-sill  and  began  to  turn  round 
and  coo  ;  at  once  I  thought  of  my  pet  pigeons  at  home, 
and  the  oppression  on  my  chest  came  on  immediately  and 
was  followed  by  a  fit.  Another  time  I  went  for  a  drink 
of  water  or  kvass  1  to  the  room  used  for  that  purpose  ;  and 
there  I  suddenly  caught  sight  of  a  plain  deal  table  which  I 
had  probably  seen  many  times  before  without  noticing  it. 
But  now  it  had  been  newly  planed  and  looked  notably  clean 

1  A  drink  of  malt  and  rye. 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  29 

and  white  ;  and  instantly  there  flashed  before  me  another 
wooden  table  which  looked  like  that  and  was  always 
perfectly  white  and  smooth.  It  had  belonged  to  my 
grandmother  and  afterwards  stood  in  my  aunt's  room  ;  and 
on  it  were  kept  various  trifles,  precious  in  a  child's  eyes — 
packets  of  melon-seeds  with  which  my  aunt  used  to  make 
wonderful  little  baskets  and  trays  ;  little  bags  of  carob- 
beans  and  pebbles  out  of  crayfish  ;  and,  above  all,  a  large 
needle-book,  which  held  not  only  needles  but  also  fishing- 
hooks  which  my  grandmother  dealt  out  to  me  from  time 
to  time.  In  former  days  I  used  to  gaze  at  all  these  treasures 
with  intense  interest  and  breathless  excitement.  As  soon 
as  the  likeness  between  the  tables  struck  me,  the  past 
flashed  into  life  and  brightness  before  me ;  and  the 
familiar  sensations  of  uneasiness  were  soon  followed  by  a 
severe  attack.  The  result  was  the  same,  when  I  happened 
to  see  a  sleeping  cat  curled  up  in  the  sun,  and  was  reminded 
of  my  own  pet  cat  at  home.  These  instances  are,  I  think, 
sufficient  to  justify  the  hypothesis  of  similar  causes  in  the 
other  cases  of  the  kind. 

My  condition  went  from  bad  to  worse.  The  fits  became 
more  frequent,  and  lasted  longer ;  I  lost  appetite  and 
became  paler  and  thinner  daily,  and  I  lost  also  my  eager- 
ness for  study  ;  I  owed  my  remaining  strength  to  sleep 
alone.  As  the  watchful  eye  of  Upadishevsky  had  noticed 
that  early  rising  was  bad  for  me,  one  day  he  tried  the 
experiment  of  not  waking  me  till  eight ;  and  all  that  day 
I  felt  much  better.  Yevseitch  waited  on  me  with  the 
tenderness  of  a  father.  Kamasheff  tried  another  method  : 
he  lectured  me  severely  more  than  once,  and  even  threat- 
ened to  punish  me,  if  I  did  not  behave  as  a  well-conducted 
boy  ought  to  do.  My  illness,  he  said,  was  only  the  fanciful- 
ness  of  a  spoilt  child,  and  a  bad  example  to  the  rest.  At 
last,  he  gave  a  positive  order  that  I  should  be  moved  to 
the  hospital ;  I  wished  this  myself,  and  so  did  every  one 
else ;  and  Dr.  Benis,  who  alone  took  the  opposite  view, 
was  now  obliged  to  give  way,  and  I  was  removed  to  the 
sick-room. 

When  my  mother  was  leaving  Kazan  for  the  second 
time,  she  made  Yevseitch  swear  before  a  sacred  picture 
that  he  would  let  her  know  if  I  fell  ill.  For  a  long  time  he 


30  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

had  been  burning  to  fulfil  his  promise,  and  spoke  of  it  to 
Upadishevsky,  but  the  master  always  kept  him  back. 
Now,  however,  he  decided  to  act  without  consulting  any 
one,  and  got  one  of  the  servants,  who  had  acquired  the 
art,  to  write  a  letter,  in  which,  with  no  precautions  and 
without  due  regard  to  the  facts,  he  reported  that  his  young 
master  was  suffering  from  epilepsy  and  had  been  removed 
to  the  hospital. 

It  is  easy  to  imagine  how  this  letter  dropped  like  a 
thunderbolt  upon  my  parents.  The  post  was  slow,  and 
the  letter  reached  them  at  the  time  of  the  spring  thaw, 
when  the  roads  are  in  a  state  quite  inconceivable  by 
people  who  live  near  Moscow.  At  every  step  the  traveller 
came  on  places  where  the  road  was  washed  away,  and 
every  hollow  was  filled  by  melting  snow-drifts ;  for  a 
carriage  to  pass  was  almost  impossible.  But  nothing  could 
keep  my  mother  back  :  she  started  the  same  day  for 
Kazan,  attended  by  her  devoted  Parasha  and  Parasha's 
young  husband,  Theodor.  She  drove  day  and  night  in  a 
rough  peasant's  sledge  drawn  by  one  horse  without  shoes  ; x 
they  had  three  sledges,  each  holding  one  passenger,  while 
a  fourth  was  given  up  to  the  baggage  ;  they  had  only  such 
horses  as  the  peasants  could  supply.  This  was  the  only 
way  in  which  it  was  just  possible  to  push  on  step  by  step  ; 
and,  even  so,  they  had  to  take  advantage  of  the  morning 
frosts,  which  fortunately  went  on  that  year  till  the  middle 
of  April.  Ten  days  of  this  travelling  brought  my  mother 
to  the  large  village  of  Murzicha  on  the  bank  of  the  Kama  ; 
the  main  road  used  by  the  post  passed  here,  and  it  was 
more  possible  to  travel  along  it,  as  it  was  hardened  by 
traffic.  But,  on  the  other  hand,  it  was  necessary  to  cross 
the  Kama,  in  order  to  reach  the  village  of  Shooran,  which 
is  situated,  I  think,  about  eighty  versts  from  Kazan.  The 
river  had  not  melted  yet,  but  the  ice  was  blue  and  swollen ; 
the  post  had  been  carried  across  it  the  day  before  by  runners 
on  foot ;  but  rain  had  fallen  in  the  night,  and  the  villagers 
all  refused  to  convey  my  mother  and  her  companions  across 
to  the  other  side.  She  was  forced  to  spend  the  night  in  the 
village.  Dreading  every  moment  of  delay,  she  walked 

1  At  this  season,  when  the  snow  is  deep  on  these  side-roads,  horses 
travel  better  unshod.  (Author's  Note.) 


31 

herself  from  house  to  house,  imploring  kind  people  to  help 
her,  explaining  her  grief,  and  offering  all  she  possessed  to 
recompense  them.  And  she  did  find  kind  and  brave 
hearts,  who  understood  a  mother's  sorrow  ;  they  promised 
that,  if  the  rain  stopped  in  the  night  and  there  was  the 
least  trace  of  frost  in  the  morning,  they  would  land  her  in 
safety  on  the  farther  bank,  and  would  accept  whatever 
she  pleased  to  give  them  for  their  trouble. 

The  whole  of  that  night  my  mother  spent  upon  her 
knees  before  the  sacred  picture  which  hung  in  a  corner 
of  the  hut  where  she  lodged.  Her  fervent  prayer  was 
heard  :  a  wind  rose  and  dispersed  the  clouds,  and  by 
morning  frost  had  dried  the  road  and  covered  the  pools 
with  a  thin  coating  of  ice.  At  daybreak  six  stout  fellows 
presented  themselves,  all  fishermen  by  calling,  born  on 
the  banks  of  the  river  and  accustomed  to  deal  with  it  in  all 
its  aspects ;  each  was  armed  with  a  pole  and  carried  a 
light  burden  bound  on  his  back.  Before  starting,  they 
crossed  themselves,  turning  towards  the  Cross  on  the 
church.  They  gave  Theodor  a  pole  and  also  a  creel  which 
he  was  to  drag  by  a  rope  ;  the  creel  was  a  large  basket  with 
a  projecting  peak,  and  they  took  this  in  case  the  lady  should 
be  too  weary  to  walk.  Then  they  took  by  the  hand  the 
two  women,  who  had  put  on  men's  long  boots,  and  started, 
after  sending  ahead  the  most  active  of  their  mates  to  feel 
the  way  before  them.  The  track  over  the  ice  was  slanting, 
so  that  it  was  necessary  to  cover  nearly  three  versts.  To 
cross  a  great  river  on  foot  at  that  season  is  so  dangerous, 
that  only  an  adept  can  perform  the  feat,  using  all  his 
courage  and  presence  of  mind.  Theodor  and  Parasha 
simply  howled,  and  said  goodbye  to  this  world  and  all 
their  nearest  and  dearest ;  and  in  some  places  force  had 
to  be  used,  to  compel  them  to  go  on  ;  but  my  mother's 
courage  and  even  cheerfulness  increased  with  every  step. 
Her  guides  kept  wagging  their  heads  in  astonished  admira- 
tion, when  they  looked  at  her.  They  had  to  go  round 
gaps  in  the  ice,  and  to  cross  crevasses  on  the  poles  laid 
side  by  side.  My  mother  for  long  refused  to  make  use  of 
the  creel ;  but,  when  they  were  approaching  the  opposite 
side,  and  the  track  led  over  shallows  close  to  the  bank, 
and  all  danger  was  past,  then  she  felt  her  strength  leave  her. 


32  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

Pillows  and  a  fur-lined  coverlet  were  at  once  placed  upon 
the  creel ;  and  my  mother  lay  down  upon  it  and  nearly 
fainted  on  the  spot ;  and  in  this  condition  the  fishermen 
dragged  her  as  far  as  the  post-house  of  Shooran.  She  gave 
her  guides  a  hundred  roubles,  just  half  the  money  she  had 
upon  her ;  but  the  honest  fishermen  would  not  take  it,  and 
asked  five  roubles  apiece.  They  listened  with  wonder  to 
the  thanks  and  blessings  which  my  mother  showered  down 
upon  them,  and  they  said  at  parting,  "God  bring  you  safe 
to  the  end  of  your  journey  !  "  Then  they  started  at  once 
on  their  homeward  way  ;  and  there  was  need  for  haste  ; 
for  the  ice  broke  up  the  next  day.  All  these  details  I 
heard  later  from  Parasha.  My  mother  travelled  from 
Shooran  to  Kazan  in  forty-eight  hours  ;  she  stopped  at 
the  first  inn  she  came  to,  and  she  was  in  the  school-building 
an  hour  later. 

And  now  I  go  back  to  myself.  I  was  very  comfortably 
installed  in  the  hospital,  in  a  small  room  by  myself ;  it  was 
intended  for  severe  cases,  but  there  happened  to  be  none 
at  the  time.  Yevseitch  was  transferred  to  the  hospital 
to  work  there,  and  slept  in  my  room.  Andrei  Ritter — 
a  surgeon  or  assistant-surgeon,  I  am  not  sure  which — had 
a  room  near  me.  He  was  a  handsome  lively  fellow,  tall 
and  ruddy.  He  was  at  home  only  in  the  mornings  until 
Dr.  Benis  came,  and  then  went  off  immediately  to  visit  his 
patients — for  he  actually  had  some  practice  among  the 
merchant  class  ;  he  was  very  dissipated  and  often  returned 
home  late  at  night  and  far  from  sober.  I  wonder  that  the 
headmaster  tolerated  him  ;  he  paid  more  attention,  how- 
ever, to  the  sound  than  to  the  sick,  and  Upadishevsky  had 
greater  influence  in  the  hospital.  I  have  entirely  forgotten 
the  name  and  surname  of  the  good-natured  old  man  who 
was  then  in  charge  of  the  place,  though  I  have  a  clear 
recollection  of  his  kindness  to  me.  Upadishevsky  took 
care  that  time  should  not  hang  heavy  on  my  hands,  and 
at  once  provided  me  with  books — The  Child's  Instructor 
in  several  volumes,  The  Discovery  of  America,  and  The 
Conquest  of  Mexico.  How  delighted  I  was  with  quiet  and 
peace  and  books  to  read  !  A  dressing-gown  instead  of 
uniform,  perfect  freedom  in  the  disposal  of  my  time,  no 
bell  to  listen  for,  and  books  to  read — all  this  did  me  more 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  83 

good  than  any  medicine  or  nourishing  diet.  Columbus  and 
Pizarro  aroused  all  my  interest,  and  the  hapless  Montezuma 
excited  all  my  sympathy.  In  a  few  days  I  had  finished 
The  Discovery  of  America  and  The  Conquest  of  Mexico, 
and  then  set  to  work  on  The  Child's  Instructor. 

While  I  was  reading  this,  I  came  across  something  that 
puzzled  me  very  much  ;  indeed,  I  was  much  older  before  I 
found  a  complete  solution  of  the  difficulty.  In  one  of  the 
volumes  I  found  a  fairy  tale  called  Beauty  and  the  Beast. 
The  first  lines  seemed  to  me  familiar,  and,  the  further  I 
read,  the  more  familiar  it  became,  till  at  last  I  felt  certain 
that  this  was  the  story  which  I  knew  by  the  title  of  The 
Scarlet  Flower  and  had  heard  a  score  of  times  from  our 
housekeeper  Pelageya. 

This  Pelageya  was  a  remarkable  woman  in  her  way. 
While  very  young,  she  had  run  away  with  her  father  from 
her  owners,  the  Alakayeffs,  to  Astrakhan,  where  she  lived 
more  than  twenty  years.     Her  father  soon  died ;    she 
married,  and  lost  her  husband,  and  then  went  out  to  service 
in  merchants'  families.     Growing  tired  of  this,  she  some- 
how learnt  that  she  had  become  the  property  of  a  different 
owner — my  grandfather,  in  fact — a  strict  master  but  just 
and  kind-hearted  ;  and,  a  year  before  his  death,  the  truant 
turned  up  at  Aksakovo.     My  grandfather  respected  her 
for  coming  back  without  compulsion,  and  received  her 
kindly  ;   and  soon,  as  she  was  a  notable  woman  and  could 
turn  her  hand  to  anything,  he  took  a  great  fancy  to  her 
and  made  her  his  housekeeper,  a  kind  of  post  which  she  had 
held  before  at  Astrakhan.     Apart  from  her  skill  in  house- 
hold management,  Pelageya  brought  with  her  a  remarkable 
gift  for  telling  fairy-tales,  of  which  she  knew  an  immense 
number.     It  is  obvious  that  the  natives  of  the  East  have 
imparted  to  the  Russians  at  Astrakhan  a  strong  taste  for 
hearing  and  telling  these  stories.     In  the  comprehensive 
repertory  of  Pelageya,  there  were  not  only  Russian  stories 
but  a  number  of  Eastern  tales,  including  some  from  The 
Arabian  Nights.    My  grandfather  was  delighted  to  possess 
such  a  treasure  ;  and,  as  he  was  beginning  to  fail  in  health 
and  slept  badly,  Pelageya,  who  could  boast  of  another 
valuable  quality,  the  power  of  staying  awake  all  night, 
did  much  to  ease  the  old  man  in  his  suffering.     From  her 

C 


34  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

I  too  heard  no  end  of  fairy-tales  in  the  long  winter  evenings. 
The  image  of  Pelageya,  with  her  fresh  healthy  face  and 
stout  figure,  and  with  the  spindle  and  distaff  in  her  hands, 
is  ineffaceably  engraved  upon  my  memory  ;  and,  if  I  were 
an  artist,  I  could  paint  her  to  the  life  this  very  minute. 
The  story  of  Beauty  and  the  Beast  or  The  Scarlet  Flower  was 
to  surprise  me  once  again  :  some  years  later  I  went  to  the 
theatre  at  Kazan  to  see  an  opera  called  Zemira  and  Azor, 
and  found  it  was  The  Scarlet  Flower  over  again,  both  in  the 
general  story  and  in  the  details. 

Meantime,  in  spite  of  interesting  books  and  delightful 
easy  conversations  with  Yevs&tch  about  life  at  home  with 
its  fishing  and  hawks  and  pigeons ;    in  spite  of  removal 
from   school   with   its   tiresome   noise   and   troublesome 
companions  ;  in  spite  of  the  quantity  of  pills  and  powders 
and  mixtures  I  swallowed  down — my  illness,  which  seemed 
at  first  to  be  yielding  to  treatment  and  rest,  did  not  grow 
less,  and  the  fits  recurred  several  times  a  day ;    but,  for 
some  reason,  they  did  not  frighten  me,  and,  when  I  com- 
pared it  with  the  past,  I  was  quite  content  with  my  con- 
dition.    The   hospital   was   on  the   second   storey,   with 
windows  looking  on  the  court.     The  school-building,  now 
the  University,  stood  on  a  hill  and  commanded  a  fine  view  : 
all  the  lower  half  of  the  city  with  its  suburbs,  and  the 
great  lake  of  Kaban,  whose  waters  mingle  in  spring  with 
the   overflow   of  the   Volga — this   was   the   picturesque 
panorama  that  spread  out  before  my  eyes.     I  remember 
clearly  how  the  darkness  settled  down  upon  it,  and  how 
the  morning  dawn  and  the  sunrise  used  little  by  little  to 
light  it  up.     In  general,  my  stay  in  the  hospital  has  left  on 
my  mind  a  lasting  recollection  of  peace  and  consolation, 
though  none  of  my  schoolfellows  ever  visited  me.     The 
Knyazhe"  vitch  boys  came  only  once ;    I  was  not  very 
intimate  with  them  then,  because  we  did  not  meet  much  : 
they  were  half-way  up  the  school  and  lived  in  the  "  French 
dormitory,"  where  Meissner  was  tutor.    Besides,  I  was  so 
much  taken  up  with  myself,  or  rather  with  my  past  life, 
that  I  never  showed  or  felt  the  least  attachment  for  them. 
But  we  became  close  friends  in  my  second  term  at  school, 
and,  still  more,  in  our  college  days. 

I  wrote  home  by  every  post,  and  always  said  that  I  was 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  35 

quite  well.  But  a  Monday  came  without  bringing  me  a 
letter  from  my  mother.  I  felt  anxious  and  sad,  and,  when 
there  was  no  letter  on  the  following  Monday,  I  was  miser- 
able. Yevseitch  tried  to  reassure  me  :  he  said  that  owing 
to  the  season  and  state  of  the  roads  it  was  impossible  to 
send  a  carriage  from  Aksakovo  to  Boogoorooslan — our 
country-town,  twenty-five  versts  distant  from  our  house. 
But  I  would  not  listen  to  him  :  I  knew  perfectly  that  in  all 
weathers  they  sent  once  a  week  to  the  post  without  fail. 
I  don't  know  what  I  should  have  done  if  my  letter  had 
failed  me  a  third  time.  But,  in  the  middle  of  the  week — the 
exact  date  was  the  18th  of  April,  in  the  morning — my  kind 
Yevseitch  began  in  a  roundabout  way  to  this  effect,  that 
the  absence  of  letters  might  be  accounted  for  by  a  visit  from 
my  mother  herself,  and  that  perhaps  she  had  actually 
arrived.  After  this  preparation,  he  announced  with  a 
beaming  face,  that  Sofya  Nikolayevna  was  now  in  the 
school,  and  that,  though  she  might  not  visit  me  in  the 
absence  of  the  doctor,  the  doctor  was  coming  at  once. 
Though  I  had  been  prepared  for  this  news,  1  fainted  away. 
When  I  recovered,  my  first  words  were,  "  Where  is 
mamma  ?  "  But-  Dr.  Benis  was  standing  by  me,  and 
scolding  Yevseitch.  He  was  not  in  the  least  to  blame : 
however  cautiously  I  had  been  told  of  my  mother's  arrival, 
I  could  not  have  received  such  joyful  and  unexpected 
tidings  without  strong  emotion,  and  any  emotion  would 
have  brought  on  a  seizure.  The  doctor  was  quite  convinced 
that  permission  must  be  given  for  the  mother  to  see  her 
son,  especially  when  the  son  knew  of  her  arrival ;  but  he 
did  not  venture  to  give  it  without  being  authorised  by  the 
headmaster  or  Rector ;  and  he  had  sent  notes  to  them 
both.  The  Rector's  permission  came  first,  and  my  mother 
was  actually  in  my  room,  when  an  order  came  from 
Kamasheff,  to  await  his  arrival. 

For  want  of  words,  I  shall  not  attempt  to  describe  what 
I  felt  when  my  mother  came  into  the  room.  She  was  so 
thin  that  I  might  not  have  known  her ;  but  her  joy  at 
finding  her  child  not  only  alive  but  much  better  than  she 
expected — what  did  not  her  anxious  heart  forebode  ? — 
shone  so  radiantly  in  her  eyes  which  were  always  bright, 
that  an  onlooker  might  have  supposed  her  both  well  and 


86  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

cheerful.  All  my  surroundings  were  forgotten  ;  I  clasped 
her  in  my  arms  and  for  some  time  would  not  let  her  go. 
A  few  minutes  later  Kamasheff  appeared.  With  cold 
politeness  he  told  my  mother  that  the  regular  rules  of  the 
school  had  been  broken  on  her  account :  that  relations  or 
parents  were  not  permitted  to  enter  the  inner  rooms  of 
the  establishment  but  only  the  reception-room  specially 
provided  for  the  purpose ;  and  that  admission  to  the 
hospital  was  absolutely  forbidden,  and  especially  undesir- 
able in  the  case  of  a  lady  so  young  and  so  attractive. 

The  blood  rushed  to  my  mother's  face  ;  she  was  naturally 
impulsive,  and  she  now  told  Kamasheff  more  home-truths 
than  was  necessary.  Among  other  things  she  said  :  "  Your 
school  must  be  the  only  school  in  the  world  that  has  such 
a  barbarous  rule  !  A  mother's  presence  is  desirable  in 
any  place  where  her  son  is  lying  ill !  I  am  here  by  per- 
mission of  the  Rector,  your  immediate  superior,  Mr. 
Headmaster,  and  all  you  have  to  do  is  to  obey  !  "  She 
had  plunged  her  knife  into  the  tender  spot.  Kamasheff 
turned  pale.  He  then  said  :  "  The  Rector  has  given  leave 
for  once  only,  and  his  order  has  been  obeyed ;  it  will 
probably  not  be  repeated,  and  I  beg  that  you  will  now 
go  away."  But  he  did  not  know  my  mother  ;  nor  did  he 
understand  the  feelings  common  to  all  mothers'  hearts. 
She  told  him  that  she  would  not  leave  that  room  till  the 
Rector,  either  in  person  or  by  letter,  ordered  her  to  go ; 
until  that  happened,  nothing  short  of  actual  violence  should 
part  her  from  her  son.  And  this  was  said  with  such 
vehemence  and  in  such  a  tone,  that  it  was  quite  certain 
she  would  carry  it  out  to  the  letter.  She  took  a  chair, 
pushed  it  up  to  my  bed,  and  sat  down  on  it,  with  her  back 
turned  to  Kamasheff.  What  he  would  have  done,  I  do 
not  know,  had  not  Dr.  Benis  and  Upadishevsky  induced 
him  to  go  to  another  room,  where,  as  I  heard  later  from 
Upadishevsky,  the  doctor  spoke  firmly  to  him.  "If," 
said  he,  "  you  venture  on  any  violent  measures,  I  will  not 
be  responsible  for  the  consequences ;  it  may  even  kill  the 
boy,  and  I  am  anxious  about  the  mother  too."  Upadi- 
shevsky also  implored  him  to  be  merciful  to  a  poor  woman, 
who  was  in  such  despair  that  she  did  not  know  what  she 
was  saying,  and  still  more  to  have  pity  on  a  poor  sick  boy  ; 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  37 

and  he  promised  that  he  would  persuade  my  mother  to  go 
away  before  long.  Kamasheff  gave  way  very  reluctantly, 
and  went  off  with  the  doctor  to  report  the  whole  affair 
to  the  Rector.  Upadishevsky  went  back  to  my  mother 
and  tried  to  quiet  her  by  saying  that  she  might  stay  with 
me  two  hours.  She  did  stay  till  dark,  till  nearly  six  in  the 
evening.  The  scene  with  Kamasheff  frightened  me  at 
first,  and  I  was  beginning  to  feel  the  familiar  pressure  on 
the  chest ;  but,  when  he  left  the  room,  the  fit  was  stopped 
by  my  mother's  presence,  her  conversation  and  caresses, 
and  my  own  happiness.  At  parting,  my  mother  said  that 
she  would  remove  me  from  the  school  altogether  and  take 
me  back  home ;  and  I  believed  her  implicitly.  I  was 
accustomed  to  think  that  she  could  do  whatever  she  liked, 
and  a  bright  future  began  to  shine  before  me  in  all  the 
rainbow  colours  of  the  happy  past. 

On  leaving  the  school,  my  mother  went  straight  to  Dr. 
Benis'  house.  He  was  not  at  home  ;  and  she  threw  herself, 
literally  threw  herself,  at  the  feet  of  his  wife  and  implored 
her  with  tears  to  help  in  rescuing  her  son  from  the  school. 
Mme  Benis  understood  a  mother's  feeling  and  was  keenly 
interested  :  she  said  that  her  husband  would  do  what  he 
could,  and  she  would  vouch  for  his  assistance.  The  doctor 
soon  came  in,  and  both  ladies,  each  in  her  own  way, 
pressed  him  hard.  But  he  needed  no  convincing :  he 
said  that  he  quite  agreed  and  had  hinted  at  this  course 
to  the  Rector;  but,  unfortunately,  the  headmaster  was 
there  too,  and  his  strong  opposition  to  the  plan  had 
apparently  prevailed  with  the  Rector,  a  weak  but  not  ill- 
natured  man  ;  nevertheless,  success  was  not  beyond  hope. 
Next,  my  mother  described  all  the  unfairness  and  petty 
tyranny  which  I  had  suffered  from  the  headmaster.  As 
Benis  himself  disliked  the  man  for  his  usurpation  of  power 
that  did  not  belong  to  him,  he  therefore  increased  rather 
than  allayed  my  mother's  exasperation,  till  she  positively 
hated  Kamasheff  as  the  cruellest  of  enemies  to  herself  and 
her  son.  The  doctor  and  his  wife  treated  her  with  the 
kindness  of  friends  or  relations  :  they  made  her  lie  down 
on  a  sofa  and  take  some  food,  twenty-four  hours  having 
passed  since  she  had  tasted  even  tea  ;  they  gave  her  some 
medicine,  and,  above  all,  they  assured  her  that  my  illness 


38  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

was  purely  nervous,  and  that  I  should  soon  get  perfectly 
well  in  my  country  home.  It  was  decided  to  wage  open 
war  against  the  headmaster.  It  was  next  settled  that  my 
mother  should  call  on  the  Rector  early  next  morning, 
before  he  received  Kamasheff's  report ;  she  was  to  ask 
permission  to  visit  me  twice  a  day  in  hospital,  and  then 
to  ask  him  to  promise,  that,  if  the  doctor  thought  it 
necessary,  I  should  have  leave  to  go  home  and  stay  there, 
with  my  parents  to  look  after  me,  till  I  had  quite  recovered. 
Benis  only  asked  of  her  not  to  complain  of  Kamasheff, 
not  to  abuse  him,  and  not  to  allude  to  his  personal  dislike 
and  persecution  of  me.  My  mother  called  down  Heaven's 
blessing  on  the  doctor  and  his  wife,  and  expressed  all  the 
gratitude  that  a  mother's  heart  can  feel ;  and  then  she 
went  back  to  her  lodgings  to  rest.  Rest  was  a  positive 
necessity  for  her  :  a  day  filled  with  such  painful  anxiety, 
after  travelling  twelve  days  under  such  conditions  with 
little  sleep  or  food,  would  have  been  enough  to  prostrate 
even  a  strong  man ;  and  she  was  a  woman,  and  not  in 
robust  health. 

But  God  reveals  His  power  and  might  in  the  feeble ; 
and,  after  some  hours  of  sleep,  she  awoke  full  of  courage 
and  determination.  At  nine  in  the  morning  she  was 
already  seated  in  the  Rector's  drawing-room.  He  came 
at  once,  and  his  manner  clearly  showed  that  he  was 
prejudiced  against  her.  But  his  mood  soon  changed,  when 
the  sincerity  of  grief  and  the  eloquence  of  tears  found  the 
way  to  his  heart.  Without  raising  much  difficulty,  he 
gave  her  leave  to  visit  her  son  in  hospital  twice  a  day  and 
stay  there  till  eight  in  the  evening  ;  but  her  request  that  I 
might  leave  the  school  met  with  more  opposition.  Tears 
and  entreaties  would  perhaps  have  won  a  second  victory  ; 
but  suddenly  the  headmaster  came  in,  and  the  scene 
changed.  The  Rector  now  raised  his  voice  and  said  that 
it  was  an  unheard-of  proceeding  to  let  Government  scholars 
go  home,  either  on  the  ground  of  ill-health,  or  because  they 
suffered  from  home-sickness.  In  the  former  case,  it  would 
be  an  admission  that  there  was  insufficient  medical  attend- 
ance and  care  for  the  boys  when  ill ;  and  in  the  latter,  it 
would  be  simply  absurd :  what  boy,  especially  a  spoilt 
boy  accustomed  to  seek  only  his  own  amusement,  would 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  89 

not  feel  home-sick  when  sent  to  school  ?  Kamasheff  at 
once  chimed  in  and  supported  the  Rector :  he  said  a  great 
deal,  and  there  was  much  good  sense  in  what  he  said,  and 
as  much  ill-nature.  He  referred  to  the  harm  done  by 
women  as  educators  and  by  mothers  who  spoilt  their 
children  ;  he  spoke  of  dangerous  examples  of  disrespect, 
insubordination,  presumption,  and  ingratitude.  Finally, 
he  said,  that  when  the  Government  spent  money  on  the 
salaries  of  the  staff  and  the  maintenance  of  the  scholars, 
it  did  not  intend  that  the  boys  should  leave  the  school 
before  passing  through  the  whole  curriculum  and  making 
themselves  competent  to  serve  the  State  in  the  teaching 
profession.  He  added  that  the  authorities  of  the  school 
must  attach  special  importance  to  a  boy,  whose  excellent 
ability  and  conduct  made  it  likely  that  he  would  turn  out 
in  future  a  successful  teacher.  This  Jesuitical  duplicity 
was  too  much  for  my  mother  :  forgetting  Benis'  warning, 
she  burst  out  with  great  warmth  and  little  prudence  : 

"  It  surprises  me  that  M.  Kamasheff  should  praise  my 
son,  because  he  has  never  ceased,  since  the  poor  boy 
entered  the  school,  to  vex  and  torment  him  for  trifles,  to 
rebuke  him  when  he  did  not  deserve  it,  and  to  make  fun 
of  him.  He  has  applied  to  him  many  insulting  nicknames, 
such  as  '  cry-baby '  and  '  mammy's  darling,'  which  of 
course  have  been  taken  up  by  all  the  boys  ;  and  this  un- 
just persecution  on  the  part  of  the  headmaster  is  the  only 
reason  why  ordinary  home-sickness  has  developed  into  a 
dangerous  illness.  I  recognise  the  headmaster  as  my 
personal  enemy.  He  usurps  power  that  does  not  belong 
to  him  :  he  tried  to  turn  me  out  of  the  hospital,  although  I 
had  the  Rector's  permission.  He  is  a  partial  judge,  and 
has  no  right  to  decide  this  question  !  " 

The  Rector  was  a  good  deal  disconcerted ;  but  Kama- 
sheff retorted  angrily,  that  she  herself  and  her  unreasonable 
impetuosity  were  entirely  to  blame.  "  In  my  absence,"  he 
said,  "  she  took  advantage  of  the  weakness  of  my  substi- 
tute, and  constantly  took  her  son  home  or  visited  him 
here.  Then  she  broke  off  her  journey  and  came  back  to 
Kazan,  and  after  two  months  has  come  back  again.  In 
this  way  she  never  gives  the  boy  time  to  get  accustomed 
to  his  new  position.  She  herself,  and  not  the  severity  of 


40  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

his  masters,  is  the  cause  of  his  illness  ;  and  her  present 
visit  is  doing  a  great  deal  of  harm ;  for  her  son,  who  was 
recovering,  had  a  serious  relapse  early  this  morning."  At 
these  words,  my  mother  cried  out  and  fainted  away.  The 
good-natured  Rector  was  horribly  frightened  and  perplexed. 
The  swoon  lasted  long  :  it  was  nearly  an  hour  before  she 
became  conscious  ;  and  her  first  words  were,  "  Let  me  go 
to  my  son  !  "  The  Rector,  very  sorry  for  her  and  frightened 
about  her,  was  glad  that  at  least  she  was  not  dead — he 
much  feared  that  she  was,  as  he  used  to  tell  afterwards — 
and  he  gave  a  positive  order  to  Kamasheff  that  she  was 
to  be  admitted  at  all  times  to  the  hospital ;  and  there 
she  accordingly  went  on  the  spot. 

The  doctor  met  her  there  and  did  his  best  to  calm  her 
fears.  He  gave  her  a  solemn  assurance  that  my  new 
symptom,  fever,  was  of  no  importance,  being  due  merely 
to  nervous  excitement ;  it  might  even  have  a  good  influ- 
ence on  my  regular  attacks.  In  fact,  the  first  fever-fit 
was  very  mild,  and,  though  the  second  was  more  severe 
and  was  followed  by  others  during  the  next  fortnight,  yet 
the  hysterical  seizures  never  returned.  Nearly  the  whole 
of  every  day  my  mother  spent  with  me.  The  Rector  visited 
the  hospital  several  times,  and,  each  time  that  he  found 
her  there,  showed  much  kindness  to  both  of  us  :  he  could 
not  look  without  pity  at  my  thin  pale  face ;  and  the  ex- 
pressive features  of  my  mother,  which  clearly  revealed 
her  thoughts  and  feelings,  also  awakened  his  sympathy. 
But,  when  Kamasheff  tried  to  enter  my  room  next  day, 
she  locked  the  door  and  would  not  let  him  in  ;  and  after- 
wards she  asked  the  Rector  to  prevent  the  headmaster 
from  visiting  me  in  her  presence.  "  I  cannot  control 
myself,"  she  said,  "  at  the  sight  of  that  man,  and  I  am 
afraid  of  frightening  the  patient  by  an  attack  such  as  I 
had  in  your  house."  The  Rector,  who  had  a  lively  recol- 
lection of  that  event,  expressed  his  willingness ;  and 
Kamasheff,  much  insulted,  ceased  coming  to  see  me  at  all. 

Meanwhile  the  plan  of  removing  me  from  the  school, 
which  had  gained  strength  from  the  doctor's  consent  and 
then  been  postponed  by  my  fresh  illness,  was  proceeding 
in  due  form.  My  mother  wished  to  begin  by  discussing 
the  plan  with  her  friends,  and  went  to  see  M.  KnyazheVitch. 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  41 

That  kind-hearted  but  rather  gruff  and  positive  Serbian 
disapproved  of  her  purpose.     "  No,  no  !  my  dear  lady,"  he 
said  ;  "I  cannot  advise  you  to  take  your  son  and  wrap  him 
up  in  cotton  wool,  to  dandle  him  and  feed  him  on  sugar  and 
carry  him  off  to  the  country,  that  he  may  run  about  there 
with  the  village  boys  and  grow  up  ignorant  and  good-for- 
nothing.     You  will  make  nothing  of  him  that  way.     I  tell 
you  frankly  that,  if  I  were  in  your  husband's  place,  I 
should  not  allow  you  to  do  it."     My  mother  was  dis- 
pleased ;   she  said  that  she  did  not  intend  her  son  to  grow 
up  a  dunce  and  a  country  bumpkin,  but  she  did  certainly 
wish  to  save  his  life  and  restore  him  to  health.     She  had 
no  further  interviews  with  M.  Knyazhevitch.     Next  she 
turned  to  a  distant  relation  of  my  father's  who  lived  at 
Kazan  ;    his  name  was  Mikheyeff,  and  he  was  a  lawyer. 
Though  he  also  disapproved  of  her  plan  and  declined  to 
take  any  active  steps  in  support  of  it,  he  was  willing  to  do 
one  thing  she  asked — to  write  a  petition  for  my  release,  to 
be   submitted  to  the  Governors.     In  the  petition,   my 
mother  asked  that  her  son  might  be  restored  to  her,  with 
a  view  to  the  recovery  of  his  health  ;    and  she  pledged 
herself  to  place  me  again  in  the  school  as  a  Government 
scholar,  as  soon  as  I  was  well.     This  petition  was  accom- 
panied by  a  report  from  Dr.  Benis,  in  which  he  said  that, 
in  his  opinion,  it  was  absolutely  necessary  to  send  young 
Aksakoff  home  to  his  parents ;   the  country  was  specially 
indicated,  because  my  illness  was  of  a  kind  which  nothing 
but  country  air  and  home  life  could  overcome  ;  treatment 
in  the  hospital  would  be  quite  useless  ;  my  attacks  threat- 
ened to  develop  into  epilepsy,  and  epilepsy  might  end  in 
apoplexy  or  injury  to  the  brain.     How  far  all  this  was 
true,  I  cannot  tell ;    but  the  doctor  was  not  content  to 
stop  there.     He  asserted  that  I  had  some  swelling  of  the 
knees  and  a  tendency  to  crookedness  in  the  bones  of  the 
leg ;   and  these  symptoms  called  for  exercise  in  the  open 
air  and  a  prolonged  course  of  some  syrup — I  don't  re- 
member its  name — which  he  offered  to  supply  out  of  the 
stock  of  medicines  provided  by  Government  for  the  school. 
I  believe  that  all  this  last  part  of  the  report  was  fictitious  : 
I  really  had  very  thick  knees;  but  children  often  have, 
and  it  passes  off  without  treatment.    Nevertheless,  these 


42  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

trifling  external  symptoms  were  treated  with  great  respect 
in  the  later  stages  of  this  affair. 

The  business  began  at  a  meeting  of  the  Governors. 
The  Rector  was  in  the  chair,  and  the  others  present  were 
Kamasheff  and  the  three  senior  teachers.  Kamasheff, 
who  generally  settled  everything,  asserted  his  influence, 
and  the  three  teachers  sided  with  him.  The  Rector  could 
not  make  up  his  mind.  The  majority  were  for  instructing 
Benis  to  invite  to  a  consultation  the  senior  medical  officer 
in  the  town,  and  then  to  continue  his  treatment  of  me ; 
but  Benis  explained  beforehand  that  he  would  not  carry 
out  such  an  instruction,  and  would  report  to  the  Governors 
in  favour  of  letting  me  go  at  once  ;  for,  as  soon  as  the  fever 
had  passed  off,  symptoms  had  appeared,  portending  a 
renewal  of  the  previous  attacks.  This,  indeed,  was 
perfectly  true.  My  poor  mother,  seeing  that  things  were 
not  going  well,  became  quite  desperate.  Finally  Benis 
advised  my  mother  to  put  this  request  before  the  Rector 
— that  he  should  order  me  to  be  examined  in  his  presence 
by  the  school  doctor  and  other  doctors  from  outside,  and 
that  he  should  be  guided  by  their  opinion  ;  and  she  drove 
off  at  once  to  the  Rector's  house.  Wishing  to  protect 
himself  from  tears  and  petitions,  of  which  he  was  heartily 
weary,  the  Rector  sent  a  message  that  he  could  not  possibly 
receive  her  that  day,  and  hoped  she  would  come  back 
another  time.  But  this  rebuff  was  not  the  first,  and  my 
mother  was  prepared  :  she  had  brought  with  her  a  letter, 
in  which  she  said  :  "  This  is  my  last  visit.  If  you  refuse 
to  see  me,  I  will  not  leave  your  drawing-room  till  I  am 
turned  out.  But  I  do  not  believe  you  will  behave  so 
harshly  to  an  unhappy  mother."  The  Rector  could  not 
help  himself :  he  emerged  into  the  drawing-room,  and  again 
he  was  not  proof  against  the  expression  of  genuine  grief 
and  even  despair.  He  pledged  his  word  to  carry  out  all 
my  mother's  wishes,  and  he  kept  his  word.  The  very  next 
day,  the  Governors  of  the  school  passed  a  motion  in  perfect 
agreement  with  Benis'  suggestion  and  my  mother's  request. 
But  the  Rector  himself  was  the  only  person  who  was 
aware  of  this  :  every  one  else  thought  that  Benis  would 
resent  an  examination  by  outside  doctors,  and  they  were 
convinced  that  these  doctors  would  disagree  with  Benis. 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  43 

Two  of  the  leading  physicians  in  the  town  were  called  in. 
Benis,  confident  that  they  would  concur  in  his  opinion, 
waited  calmly  for  the  issue  of  events,  and  his  confidence 
did  something  to  calm  my  mother,  who  tried  in  her  turn 
to  soothe  me.  She  repeated  to  me  in  minute  detail  all 
she  had  done  and  all  she  had  said,  and  tried  to  convince 
me  that,  in  spite  of  obstacles,  she  had  not  given  up  hope 
of  success.  I  could  share  this  hope  only  at  times  and  not 
for  long  :  deliverance  from  my  stone  prison,  as  I  called 
the  school,  and  restoration  to  my  home  in  the  country, 
seemed  to  me  bliss  beyond  attainment  and  beyond  possi- 
bility. The  choice  of  doctors  involved  much  correspond- 
ence with  the  authorities ;  and  the  Rector,  urged  by 
Kamasheff,  ordered  that  I  should  be  discharged  from 
hospital,  the  fever  having  entirely  left  me.  Benis  was 
forced  to  give  his  consent.  So  I  went  back  to  Upadi- 
shevsky's  dormitory,  where  I  found  my  bed  empty. 
After  a  considerable  spell  of  freedom  in  the  peace  and 
quiet  of  the  sick-room,  I  disliked  more  than  ever  the 
regular  rules  and  constant  noise  of  school  life  ;  and  also 
the  move  struck  me  as  a  bad  sign,  unfavourable  to  my 
hopes  of  release.  I  saw  my  mother  daily,  but  only  in  the 
general  reception-room  and  not  for  long.  All  this  brought 
depression  back  upon  me,  and  my  attacks  began  again 
as  violent  as  before,  as  if  there  had  been  no  cessation  of 
them.  But  this  painful  condition  did  not  last  long,  thank 
God! 

Just  a  week  after  my  return,  when  supper  was  over  and 
the  boys  came  down  to  the  dormitories  and  began  to  un- 
dress, Yevseitch  pushed  into  my  hand  a  note  from  my 
mother  and  said,  "  Don't  let  any  one  see  you  reading  this  !  " 
My  mother  told  me  not  to  get  up  next  morning  ;  I  was  to 
tell  Upadishevsky  that  my  legs,  and  especially  my  knees, 
were  aching,  and  to  ask  sick-leave  to  the  hospital.  I  was 
told  to  burn  the  note,  and  I  did  so  at  once.  I  was  very 
much  surprised  by  these  instructions  ;  for  I  was  quite 
unaccustomed  to  tell  lies,  and  my  mother  never  passed 
over  untruths  without  punishment.  Though  I  had  a  dim 
suspicion  in  the  back  of  my  head,  that  this  lie  would  help 
to  set  me  free  from  school,  yet  I  lay  awake  a  long  time ; 
I  was  made  unhappy  by  the  thought,  that  to-morrow  I 


44  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

must  tell  an  untruth,  and  that  Upadishevsky  and  the 
doctor  would  at  once  see  through  it  and  detect  me.  But, 
when  Yevseitch  woke  me  next  morning,  I  told  him  that  my 
legs  were  aching  and  that  I  wished  to  return  to  hospital. 
A  suppressed  smile  curled  the  lips  of  my  good  Yevseitch, 
as  he  went  off  to  inform  Upadishevsky.  To  my  surprise, 
Upadishevsky  took  it  very  coolly.  ''Very  well,"  he  said, 
"  let  him  stay  in  bed.  I  shall  just  take  the  boys  upstairs 
and  then  come  back  for  him  and  take  him  off  to  hospital." 
But  the  boys  would  not  leave  me  in  peace  ;  and  a  number 
of  them,  pulling  off  the  coverlet  which  I  had  purposely 
drawn  over  my  head,  asked  me  why  I  did  not  get  up. 
Blushing  and  confused,  I  was  forced  to  repeat  my  lie 
several  times.  They  laughed  and  said,  "You  're  shamming, 
you  're  too  lazy  to  work,  you  like  hospital  better."  Then 
the  crowd  of  noisy  boys  fell  in  and  marched  upstairs  in 
order.  Upadishevsky  soon  came  back,  and,  without 
asking  any  questions  about  my  ailment,  took  me  to  the 
hospital  and  handed  me  over  to  the  charge  of  Hitter, 
the  assistant-surgeon,  and  the  superintendent.  My  old 
room  was  assigned  to  me,  and  at  nine  o'clock  Benis  came. 
On  beginning  his  examination,  he  put  this  leading  ques- 
tion :  "I  suppose  you  feel  pain  in  the  legs  ?  I  quite 
expected  it."  Then  he  made  the  superintendent  and  the 
assistant-surgeon  look  at  my  knees,  and  added,  "  See 
how  swollen  they  are  in  one  week,  and  the  inflammation  is 
worse."  There  was  not  the  least  change  in  the  state  of  my 
knees,  and  I  felt  no  inflammation ;  but  I  noticed  with 
surprise,  that  there  seemed  to  be  a  kind  of  general  con- 
spiracy to  keep  up  the  pretence.  I  was  even  more  sur- 
prised, when  my  mother  arrived  soon  after  Benis,  and 
discussed  quite  calmly  with  him  and  the  others  my  new 
and  fictitious  symptoms.  When  we  were  alone,  I  looked  at 
her  with  wonder  and  asked  what  it  all  meant.  She  took 
me  in  her  arms  and  said  :  "  My  dear,  we  cannot  help  it : 
it  is  the  only  way  ;  it  is  what  Benis  told  us  to  do.  You 
will  soon  be  examined  by  the  other  doctors,  and  you  must 
tell  them  that  you  have  pains  in  your  legs.  Dr.  Benis  is 
positive  that  this  will  secure  your  discharge."  A  ray  of 
hope  flashed  before  my  mind,  though  I  saw  no  special 
reason  to  rely  upon  it.  Two  days  later,  my  mother  told  me 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  45 

at  night  that  the  examination  would  take  place  to- 
morrow ;  she  repeated  all  that  I  was  to  say  about  my 
afflicted  legs,  and  urged  me  to  answer  boldly  and  without 
hesitation. 

At  eleven  next  day  a  whole  party  entered  my  room — 
the  Rector,  the  headmaster,  Benis  and  two  strange  doctors, 
the  three  teachers  who  were  members  of  the  governing 
body,  and  Upadishevsky.  They  filled  my  room,  which 
was  not  large ;  chairs  were  placed  for  them  all,  and  they 
all  sat  solemnly  down  beside  my  bed.  I  was  so  confused 
that  I  began  at  once  to  feel  faint,  but  I  soon  recovered 
without  any  medicine,  and  listened  while  Benis  told  his 
colleagues  the  history  of  my  illness,  sometimes  speaking  in 
Latin  but  chiefly  in  Russian.  He  referred  again  and  again 
to  Upadishevsky ;  and  the  others  cross-examined  the 
dormitory-master  on  the  spot.  Yevseitch  also  was  sum- 
moned, and  several  questions  were  put  to  him  about  my 
state  of  health  before  I  entered  the  school.  I  too  had  to 
answer  a  great  many  inquiries  ;  the  doctors  came  up  to  my 
bed  again  and  again,  sounded  my  chest  and  stomach,  felt 
my  pulse,  and  looked  at  my  tongue.  When  my  knees  and 
leg-bones  came  under  consideration,  all  three  of  them 
came  round  me,  and  all  three  suddenly  began  to  prod  me 
in  the  part  supposed  to  be  affected  ;  and  they  talked  very 
earnestly  and  got  very  excited.  I  remember  that  they 
often  repeated  the  terms,  "  serum,"  "  lymph,"  "  scorbutic 
habit."  The  examination  lasted  for  an  hour  at  least,  and 
I  was  quite  worn  out  by  it ;  but  it  ended  at  last,  and  I 
fell  asleep  as  soon  as  they  had  all  gone. 

When  I  woke,  my  mother  was  sitting  by  me,  and  my 
dinner  was  standing  cold  on  the  table.  My  mother 
was  hopeful,  but  knew  nothing  yet  for  certain.  She  went 
off  immediately  to  call  on  Benis,  and,  when  she  returned 
in  two  hours,  her  face  was  radiant  with  happiness.  The 
doctors  had  gone  straight  from  my  room  to  a  meeting  of 
the  Governors,  where  they  all  signed  a  certificate,  to  this 
effect :  "In  complete  agreement  with  the  opinion  of  Dr. 
Benis,  we  consider  it  absolutely  necessary  that  the  Govern- 
ment scholar,  Aksakoff ,  should  be  sent  home  to  the  country, 
to  be  cared  for  by  his  parents.  A  syrup  has  already  been 
prescribed  for  the  patient ;  but  we  think  it  as  well  to  add 


46  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

certain  other  medicines,  to  be  followed  by  a  course  of  cold 
baths  to  recuperate  the  strength."  The  Rector  gave  his 
consent  in  plain  terms,  and  the  three  teachers  followed  his 
example ;  only  Kamasheff  would  not  budge,  and  refused 
to  sign  the  minutes  ;  *  but  that  did  no  harm. 

And  so  the  desired  event,  which  for  so  long  had  seemed 
a  mere  castle  in  the  air,  really  came  to  pass.  My  mother 
was  radiant  with  bliss  ;  she  laughed  and  cried  and  embraced 
everybody,  especially  Upadishevsky  and  Yevseitch,  and 
she  thanked  God.  I  was  so  happy  that  at  times  I  could 
not  believe  in  my  happiness  :  I  thought  it  all  a  beautiful 
dream  and  feared  to  wake  up  ;  I  clasped  my  mother  close 
and  asked  if  it  was  really  true.  She  sat  with  me  longer 
than  usual  that  evening,  till  Upadishevsky  came  in  more 
than  once,  to  ask  her  to  go.  Kamasheff  behaved  like  him- 
self to  the  last :  he  proposed  to  the  Governors  to  require 
my  mother,  in  view  of  the  five  months  I  had  spent  at  the 
school,  to  refund  the  whole  cost  of  my  maintenance  and 
education.  But  the  Rector  did  not  agree  :  he  said  that 
I  was  not  being  expelled  but  only  sent  home  for  conva- 
lescence. Three  days  after  the  consultation,  the  Governors 
summoned  my  mother  to  appear  before  them,  and  made 
her  sign  a  promise  to  send  me  back  when  I  was  well ;  then 
they  gave  her  leave  to  take  me.  She  came  straight  from 
the  meeting  to  visit  the  hospital  for  the  last  time ; 
Yevseitch  had  dressed  me  in  my  own  clothes,  returning  my 
uniform  and  books  and  all  other  Government  property. 
We  said  goodbye  to  Upadishevsky  and  to  the  hospital 
superintendent  with  tears  of  ardent  gratitude.  Then  my 
mother  took  my  hand,  and  she  and  Yevseitch  brought  me 
out  upon  the  steps. 

I  gave  a  cry  of  joyful  surprise.  The  carriage  from  home 
was  standing  in  front  of  the  steps,  drawn  by  four  of  our 
own  horses  bred  at  Aksakovo  ;  I  knew  the  coachman  on  the 
box,  and  I  knew  the  postillion  still  better,  for  he  used 
always  to  supply  me  with  worms  for  bait.  Theodor  and 
Yevs6itch  placed  me  at  my  mother's  side  in  the  old  carriage, 
and  we  drove  off  to  our  lodgings.  In  spite  of  the  joy  which 
filled  or,  I  might  say,  intoxicated  my  heart,  I  cried  so  when 

1  Copies  of  all  the  papers  were  long  preserved  in  our  house.  (Author's 
Note.) 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  47 

taking  leave  of  Upadishevsky,  that  I  went  on  crying  even 
in  the  carriage.  And  surely  this  good  man's  unselfish 
kindness  to  us  who  had  been  mere  strangers,  and  his 
tender  sympathy  which  did  not  shrink  from  self-sacrifice, 
deserved  the  truest  gratitude ;  and  it  should  be  added, 
that  his  many  years  of  service  at  the  school  could  not 
fail  to  accustom  him  to  cases  of  the  kind,  and  there  are  few 
hearts  that  are  not  hardened  by  custom.  At  our  lodgings 
Parasha  was  awaiting  me  with  tears  of  joy  ;  and  the  lady 
of  the  house,  our  old  acquaintance  Mme  Aristoff,  showed 
in  the  same  way  the  interest  she  took  in  our  situation. 

That  same  evening  my  mother  and  I  called  on  Dr. 
Benis,  to  thank  him  and  say  goodbye.  I  must  do  full 
justice  to  him  too  :  for  some  reason  he  passed  in  the 
town  for  a  cold  selfish  man,  but  his  conduct  to  us  was 
obliging  and  disinterested.  He  would  not  take  one  penny 
from  us,  and  even  refused  the  present  which  my  mother 
offered  him  as  a  souvenir  of  our  obligations  ;  of  course  she 
repaid  the  25  roubles  which  he  had  paid  as  consultation- 
fee  to  each  of  the  doctors  who  had  examined  me.  All  she 
could  do  was  to  thank  Benis  by  words  and  tears  and 
prayers  for  his  welfare  ;  and  she  did  this  with  such  warmth 
and  sincerity  that  he  and  his  wife  were  deeply  touched. 
So  far  as  I  was  concerned,  I  was  somehow  not  touched  ; 
and,  though  I  knew  very  well  that  I  owed  my  deliverance 
from  school  to  Benis  alone,  I  shed  no  tears,  and  my 
expression  of  thanks  was  so  languid  and  trivial  that  my 
mother  scolded  me  afterwards.  Early  next  day  we  went 
to  the  Cathedral  and  then  to  the  church  of  Our  Lady  of 
Kazan,  and  offered  thankful  prayers.  We  called  on  the 
Rector ;  but  he  was  either  away  from  home  or  unwilling 
to  receive  us .  On  returning  home,  we  found  Upadishevsky, 
who  had  come  for  one  more  parting  interview.  He  also 
refused  to  accept  any  souvenir.  His  answer  to  my 
mother  was  short  and  clear :  "  Please  don't  insult  me, 
Sofya  Nikolayevna."  I  did  not  part  with  him  as  I  had 
parted  with  the  doctor  :  I  cried  so  terribly  that  for  a  long 
time  I  could  not  be  stopped  ;  and  one  of  the  old  attacks 
seemed  to  be  coming  on,  when  my  excitement  was  soothed 
by  some  new  drops.  I  ought  to  say  of  this  medicine,  that 
three  times  during  these  days  it  was  successful  in  arresting 


48  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

a  fainting-fit.  When  Upadishevsky  left,  we  had  a  hasty 
dinner  and  then  set  to  work  at  once  on  our  packing.  We 
were  afraid  to  stay  in  Kazan,  and  each  hour  before  our 
departure  seemed  like  a  long  day ;  by  evening  all  was 
ready.  The  evening  set  in  warm,  a  real  summer  evening, 
and  my  mother  and  I  went  to  bed  in  the  carriage.  At 
dawn  the  horses  were  put  in  very  quietly  ;  and  I  was  still 
asleep,  when  we  drove  slowly  out  of  Kazan. 

When  I  awoke,  bright  sunlight  was  pouring  into  the 
carriage.     Parasha  was  asleep  ;    my  mother  was  sitting 
beside  me,  weeping  tears  of  joy  and  gratitude  to  God  ; 
and  her  eyes  showed    her  feeling  so  clearly  that  any 
spectator  of  her  tears  would  have  rejoiced  and  not  grieved. 
She  embraced  her  darling  child,  and  a  torrent  of  tender 
words  and  caresses  showed  what  she  was  feeling.     It  was 
the  19th  of  May,  my  sister's  birthday.     It  was  a  real 
May  day  ;   the  spring  morning  was  warm,  even  hot,  and 
flooded  all  the  landscape  with  burning  light.     The  green 
fields  of  young  corn,  the  meadows  and  woods,  peeped  in  at 
the  carriage-windows  ;    I  felt  such  a  desire  to  survey  the 
whole  wide  prospect,  that  I  asked  to  have  the  carriage 
stopped.     Then  I  sprang  out,  and  began  to  run  and  jump 
like  a  playful  child  of  five,  while  my  mother  watched  me 
with  delight  from  the  carriage.     For  the  first  time,  I  felt 
that    I    was    really   free.       I    embraced    Yevs&tch    and 
Theodor ;    I  exchanged  greetings  with  the  coachman  and 
postillion,  and  the  latter  found  time  to  tell  me  that  when 
he  left  Aksakovo  the  fish  were  beginning  "  to  take  fine." 
Next  I  greeted  all  the  horses  :  Yevs6itch  held  me  up  in  his 
arms  while  I  patted  each  of  them.      There  were  six  of 
them,  a  splendid  team  of  bays  and  dark-browns,  of  a  breed 
which  has  long  been  quite  extinct ;  but,  twenty  years  ago, 
it  was  still  remembered  and  often  spoken  of  in  the  Govern- 
ment of  Orenburg.     They  were  big  horses,  standing  over 
sixteen   hands   high,    and    strong   beyond   belief.     They 
generally  trotted  but  could  gallop  without  distress,  and 
they  never  tired ;     they  used  often  to  draw  a  heavy 
carriage  eighty  or  ninety  versts  in  a  day. 

Ah,  how  delighted  I  was  !  When  I  was  obliged  to  get 
back  into  the  carriage,  I  stuck  my  head  out  of  the  window 
and  kept  it  there  till  we  reached  our  halting-place,  greeting 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  49 

everything  we  passed  with  cries  of  joy.  At  last  a  streak 
of  water  sparkled  before  us  :  this  was  the  Myosha,  not  a 
very  large  river,  but  deep  and  abounding  with  fish.  A 
rather  crazy  raft  worked  by  a  rope  crossed  it ;  and  we 
took  a  long  time  to  get  over.  Only  one  pair  of  horses 
could  cross  at  a  time,  and  the  carriage  could  hardly  be 
managed  at  all :  even  when  all  the  heavy  trunks  were  taken 
off  it,  it  made  the  raft  sink  low  in  the  water.  My  mother 
and  I  crossed  first.  The  far  side  was  covered  with  trees 
and  bushes,  whose  fragrant  blossom  drove  me  nearly  mad 
with  delight.  Our  postillion  was  very  fond  of  fishing,  and 
had  brought  with  him  from  home  a  rod  and  line  ready 
for  all  emergencies.  This  was  quickly  unfastened  from 
its  place  under  the  carriage  ;  and,  while  the  horses  were 
crossing,  I  was  fishing  writh  bread  for  bait  and  pulling  out 
roach.  Except  the  Dyoma,  I  never  saw  a  river  better 
stocked  than  the  Myosha  :  the  fish  swarmed  in  it  and  took 
as  fast  as  you  could  bait  your  line  and  throw  it  back.  Is 
it  wonderful  that  to  me,  delivered  from  the  prison  of 
school,  this  halt  seemed  like  heaven  ? 

On  the  river-bank  behind  us  there  was  a  gentleman's 
estate,  where  we  got  hay  and  oats,  a  chicken  and  eggs, 
and  all  other  necessary  provisions.  Yevseitch  was  a  bit 
of  a  cook,  and  he  cooked  us  a  splendid  dinner  on  a  gridiron. 
The  fish,  fried  in  a  pan,  tasted  excellent.  We  had  driven 
thirty  versts  from  Kazan,  and  we  stopped  four  hours  before 
starting  again.  Clouds  came  up,  thunder  began  to  roll, 
the  ground  was  sprinkled  with  rain,  the  heat  and  dust 
disappeared.  We  started  at  a  slow  pace,  but  afterwards 
trotted  so  fast  that  we  covered  ten  versts  in  an  hour.  The 
sky  soon  cleared,  and  a  splendid  sun  dried  up  the  traces  of 
rain.  We  drove  on  forty  versts  farther  and  camped  out 
for  the  night,  having  procured  all  we  needed  at  our  last 
stoppage.  A  fresh  supply  of  pleasures  and  enjoyments  for 
me  !  The  horses  were  taken  out  and  hobbled,  and  allowed 
to  crop  the  juicy  young  grass  ;  a  bright  fire  was  lit,  and 
the  travelling  samovdr — really  a  large  teapot 1  with  a 
funnel — was  placed  on  it ;  a  leather  rug  was  spread  out 
beside  the  carriage,  the  canteen  was  brought  out,  and  tea 

1  The  samovdr  is  an  urn  with  a  central  receptacle  for  charcoal :  here 
the  receptacle  is  inserted  where  the  lid  of  the  teapot  should  be. 


50  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

served  ;  how  good  it  was  in  the  fresh  evening  air !  In 
two  hours  the  horses  had  cooled  down  and  were  watered  ; 
their  nose-bags  were  opened  and  fastened  either  to  the 
carriage-pole  or  to  posts  driven  into  the  ground  ;  and  then 
the  horses  were  let  loose  upon  the  oats.  My  mother  and 
I  and  Parasha  lay  down  in  the  carriage ;  and,  as  I  sank 
into  a  delicious  sleep,  I  listened  to  the  horses  munching 
their  oats  and  snorting  when  the  dusty  particles  got  into 
their  nostrils. 

Early  next  day  we  crossed  the  Kama,  which  was  still 
in  flood,  a  little  above  Shooran.  I  was  afraid,  as  I  am 
still,  to  cross  a  great  river  ;  and  a  tolerable  breeze  was 
blowing  that  day.  There  was  a  large  new  ferry-boat,  on 
which  room  was  found  for  all  our  horses  and  the  carriage. 
Parasha  and  I  were  shut  up  inside  the  carriage,  with  the 
blinds  down,  to  prevent  my  seeing  the  rushing  water ; 
and  I  tied  a  handkerchief  round  my  head  as  well ;  yet 
even  then  I  shook  with  fear  till  we  had  got  across.  But 
there  were  no  unpleasant  consequences.  We  landed  at 
Murzicha ;  and  my  mother  hunted  up  the  fishermen 
who  had  guided  her  over  the  ice  ;  she  had  brought  hand- 
some presents  for  them  all,  and  the  presents  were  received 
with  no  surprise  but  with  pleasure  and  gratitude.  Fifteen 
versts  brought  us  to  our  next  halt.  And  so  our  journey 
went  on,  till  on  the  fifth  day  we  arrived  at  Baitoogan,  a 
village  on  the  river  Sok  and  not  more  than  twenty  versts 
from  Aksakovo,  where  we  spent  a  night.  Though  this  is 
a  good  river  for  fishing,  my  mother  feared  the  evening 
damp  and  would  not  allow  me  to  go  ;  but  our  postillion 
took  a  run  to  the  riverside,  and  came  back  with  some 
perch  and  roach.  By  rising  at  dawn  as  usual,  we  avoided 
stopping  at  Nyeklyoodovo  where  relations  of  my  grand- 
mother lived  ;  they  were  asleep  when  we  passed,  and  so 
were  we.  Four  miles  from  Aksakovo,  just  where  our 
estate  begins,  I  woke  up  suddenly,  as  if  I  had  been  roused 
on  purpose  ;  we  drove  on  between  the  two  woods  and 
came  out  on  the  slope  of  the  hill ;  from  there  we  were 
bound  soon  to  see  Aksakovo — the  large  pond  and  the  mill, 
the  long  line  of  peasants'  huts,  our  house  and  the  birch 
woods  beside  it.  I  kept  asking  the  coachman  whether 
he  could  see  it,  and  at  last  he  bent  down  to  the  front  window, 


MY  FIRST  TERM  AT  SCHOOL  51 

and  said,  "  There  is  our  Aksakovo,  as  clear  as  if  it  lay  in  the 
palm  of  your  hand  !  "  Then  I  begged  so  eagerly  to  sit 
on  the  box  beside  the  coachman,  that  my  mother  could 
not  refuse  me.  I  shall  not  try  to  describe  what  I  felt  when 
I  saw  my  dear  Aksakovo.  Human  language  has  no  words 
sufficient  to  express  such  feelings  ! 

I  continued  throughout  my  life  to  feel,  when  approaching 
Aksakovo,  the  same  emotion  as  I  did  then.  But  some 
years  ago  I  was  getting  near  the  place  after  an  absence  of 
twelve  years.  Again  it  was  early  morning  ;  my  heart  beat 
fast  with  expectation,  and  I  hoped  to  feel  the  happy  excite- 
ment of  former  days.  I  called  up  the  dear  old  times,  and 
a  swarm  of  memories  came  round  me.  Alas !  they 
brought  no  happiness  to  my  heart  but  only  pain  and 
suffering,  and  I  felt  heavy  and  sad  beyond  expression. 
Like  the  magician,  who  sought  in  vain  to  hide  from 
the  spirits  he  had  called  up  and  could  not  control,  so  I 
did  not  know  how  to  banish  my  recollections  and  lay  the 
storm  of  my  troubled  heart.  Old  bottles  will  not  hold 
new  wine,  and  old  hearts  are  unfit  to  bear  the  feelings  of 
youth.  But  then — ah,  what  were  my  feelings  then  ! 

Several  times  I  felt  the  oppression  on  my  chest  and 
was  pretty  near  falling  ;  but  I  said  nothing  and  held 
tight  to  the  rail  of  the  box  and  pressed  against  the  coach- 
man ;  and  the  trouble  passed  off  naturally.  The  carriage 
rolled  quickly  down  the  hill.  We  nearly  stuck  in  a  swampy 
place,  but  our  strong  horses  pulled  the  carriage  through  it, 
and  we  passed  the  reed-beds,  the  pond,  and  the  village. 
And  there  was  our  house  at  last,  and  standing  on  the 
steps  were  my  father  and  my  dear  little  sister.  When  we 
drove  up,  she  clapped  her  little  hands  and  screamed  out, 
"  Brother  Seryozha  is  on  the  box  !  "  My  aunt  hurried 
out,  bringing  my  brother  ;  and  my  baby  sister  was  carried 
out  by  her  foster-mother.  How  many  embraces  and 
kisses  !  how  many  questions  and  answers  !  how  much 
happiness  !  All  the  out-door  servants  collected,  and  even 
the  labourers  who  happened  to  be  at  home,  and  a  crowd 
of  boys  and  girls  from  the  village.  My  father  was  delighted. 
He  was  doubtful  whether  it  would  be  possible  to  get  me 
away  from  school ;  and  we  were  too  busy  during  our  last 
week  in  Kazan  to  let  him  know  what  was  happening. 


52  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 


CHAPTER  II 
A  YEAR  IN  THE  COUNTRY 

THE  first  days  were  days  of  unthinking  and  unresting 
activity.  My  earliest  visit  was  paid  to  my  pigeons  and 
the  two  hawks  which  had  lived  through  the  winter.  Then 
I  ran  round  to  every  dear  and  familiar  spot,  and  there 
were  plenty  of  them.  Round  the  house,  in  the  garden  and 
kitchen-garden,  and  in  the  wood  with  the  jackdaws'  nests 
near  the  house,  my  sister  kept  constantly  at  my  side  and 
held  my  hand ;  sometimes  she  even  pointed  out  to  me, 
as  if  I  were  a  stranger,  some  alteration  which  I  had  missed 
by  my  absence — for  instance,  a  steaming  hot-bed,  very 
large  and  high,  planted  with  melons  and  gourds.  We  went 
together  to  the  store-room,  where  some  pretty  boxes  were 
kept ;  they  were  made  of  copper  or  iron  and  adorned  with 
carved  ivory,  and  contained  a  number  of  specimens  and 
fossils  presented  to  my  mother  long  ago  by  some  friend 
who  held  an  important  position  in  the  mines.  We  paid 
a  visit  also  to  the  cellar,  where  Pelageya,  the  housekeeper, 
feasted  us  on  cool  thick  cream  and  brown  bread. 

To  the  river  and  across  the  river,  my  sister  might  not  go 
with  me  ;  and  Yevseitch  took  her  place  for  the  time.  He 
and  I  went  over  the  gangway  to  the  first  island,  where  our 
summer-kitchen  was,  and  a  wide  bark  floor  where  the 
wheat  was  dried  after  it  was  washed  clean.  This  little 
island  was  surrounded  on  two  sides  by  the  old  channel  of 
the  river,  which  was  now  overgrown  with  osiers  and  begin- 
ning to  dry  up.  We  crossed  this  channel  on  planks  and 
came  at  once  to  the  other  island.  It  was  larger,  and  the 
old  channel  which  surrounded  it  on  one  side  was  still  deep 
and  clear.  This  was  a  favourite  spot  with  my  aunt 
Tatyana  ;  it  was  divided  in  the  middle  by  a  lime  avenue, 
and  birches  grew  all  along  the  river  bank.  My  grandfather 
must  have  had  a  fancy  for  the  place  in  old  days  ;  for  he 


A  YEAR  IN  THE  COUNTRY  53 

planted  the  trees  there  long  before  the  birth  of  his  youngest 
daughter,  Tanyusha 1  as  he  used  to  call  her ;  the  trees 
were  now  fifty  years  old,  and  she  was  thirty-five.  Like 
all  her  sisters,  my  aunt  had  received  no  education,  but  she 
loved  nature  and  kept  in  her  heart  a  kind  of  leaning  towards 
culture.  She  possessed  a  few  stray  books,  chiefly  old 
novels,  probably  procured  for  her  by  her  brother,  and  some 
plays.  Of  course,  I  read  them  all  through,  with  permission 
or  without  permission  ;  I  remember  in  particular  a  kind  of 
vaudeville,  called  A  Trifle  for  the  Stage.  My  aunt  was 
fond  of  sitting  on  the  island,  where  she  read  a  book  and 
fished  in  the  deep  water  of  the  old  channel.  On  many  of 
the  birch-trees  she  had  carved  her  own  name  and  various 
dates,  and  even  verses  from  her  song-book.  How  I  loved 
this  island  !  How  pleasant  it  was  in  summer  heats  to  sit 
there  in  the  cool  shade  with  the  water  all  round  !  On  one 
side  the  new  cutting  from  the  mill-dam  joined  the  stream 
that  raced  from  under  the  mill-wheel ;  and  on  the  other 
side  the  old  channel  of  the  Boogoorooslan,  then  deep  and 
clear,  made  a  bend  round  the  island.  To  this  day  my 
heart  is  strongly  stirred  when  I  recall  summer  afternoons 
which  I  spent  there.  Now,  all  is  changed.  The  old 
channel  is  almost  dry ;  a  fresh  cutting  carries  away  the 
water  from  the  pond  in  another  direction  ;  the  osiers  and 
alders  have  spread  everywhere ;  and  the  island,  though 
it  keeps  the  name,  no  longer  deserves  it.  In  a  loose  sense, 
indeed,  the  name  may  be  applied  to  the  whole  plot  of 
land  extending  to  the  mill-dam. 

When  I  had  admired  the  island  sufficiently,  had  examined 
each  tree  and  read  all  my  aunt's  inscriptions,  and  had 
looked  long  enough  at  the  chub  and  carp  darting  below 
me  or  hanging  motionless  in  the  water — then  I  started  off 
with  Yevseitch  for  the  mill ;  but  first  I  paid  hasty  visits  to 
two  other  spots,  "Antony's  gangway"  where  I  used  to 
catch  gudgeon,  and  the  forge  where  I  liked  to  watch  the 
red-hot  iron  and  the  sparks  leaping  from  under  the 
hammer.  When  at  last  the  expanse  of  the  pond  opened  out 
before  me  with  its  green  reeds  and  burdock-leaves,  and  the 
long  mill-dam  overgrown  with  young  alder  and  teeming 
with  a  bird  and  fish  population  of  its  own,  I  was  mute  with 
1  A  pet-name  for  Tatyana. 


54  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

wonder  and  delight  and  stood  there  some  minutes,  as  if 
rooted  to  the  ground.  I  was  a  favourite  with  the  miller, 
who  was  nicknamed  Boltunyonok  ;  J  and  he  had  prepared 
a  surprise  for  me.  Knowing  that  I  was  sure  to  come,  he 
had  set  some  wire  lines  among  the  weed  for  pike  and  left 
them  unvisited  till  I  came.  Now  he  made  Yevseitch  and 
me  get  into  a  boat  and  rowed  us  to  the  place  ;  the  water 
was  very  shallow,  and  I  was  not  frightened  this  time.  I 
drew  up  each  line  myself,  and  on  one  of  them  was  a  large 
pike  which  I  pulled  out  with  Yevseitch  to  help  me,  and 
carried  in  triumph  all  the  way  home  in  my  own  hands. 

Two  days  later  my  father  took  me  farther  afield  to  fish; 
he  also  drove  with  me  to  "  Antony's  Dyke,"  where  an 
active  spring  spouted  from  the  top  of  a  hill,  making  a 
foaming  waterfall ;  to  Koloda,  where  the  water  ran  from 
a  spring  into  wooden  troughs  ready  to  receive  it ;  to  the 
Mordoff  dyke,  where  a  spring  burst  out  of  a  rocky  fissure 
at  the  foot  of  the  hill ;  to  the  lime-tree  wood,  and  the 
"  Sacred  Wood,"  1  and  the  place  between  them  where  the 
bee-hives  were  kept.  The  old  bee-man,  another  great 
friend  of  mine,  lived  there  summer  and  winter  in  a  low 
turf  hut ;  and  he  had  a  tom-cat  called  Alka  and  a  tabby 
called  Sonya,  which  he  had  named,  as  a  compliment,  after 
my  father  and  mother. 

Such  were  the  pleasant  occupations  that  took  up 
my  time  during  the  first  fortnight  after  our  arrival  at 
Aksakovo.  I  need  not  say  how  happy  my  mother  was, 
when  she  saw  me  cheerful  and  enterprising  and,  to  all 
appearance,  well.  Before  leaving  Kazan,  in  order  to 
prevent  my  life  in  the  country  being  spent  in  complete 
idleness,  she  had  procured  copies  of  the  text-books  used 
in  the  school.  She  never  forgot,  that,  if  by  God's  mercy 
I  recovered  my  health,  I  must  be  sent  back  to  school  in 
the  course  of  a  year  ;  and  she  set  apart  two  to  three  hours 
a  day,  in  which  I  was  to  revise  what  I  had  learnt,  and 
practise  writing,  and  read  aloud  to  her  various  books 
suitable  to  my  age.  I  carried  out  this  plan  very  willingly, 
and  my  outdoor  amusements  pleased  me  all  the  better 

1  /  e.   "  Little  chatterbox  "  ;  boltvn  =  chatterbox. 

?<  I.e.  A  wood  preserved  from  the  ravages  of  thieves  by  a  religious 
service  celebrated  by  the  priest  on  the  spot. 


A  YEAR  IN  THE  COUNTRY  55 

after  my  tasks.  I  also  began  again  to  teach  my  dear  little 
sister  and  pupil  to  read  ;  and  this  time  my  efforts  were 
crowned  with  complete  success. 

I  said  above  that  I  was  apparently  quite  well ;  but  it 
did  not  in  fact  turn  out  quite  so.  It  is  true  that  I  had  not 
a  single  seizure  after  leaving  school ;  and  the  feeling  of 
oppression  and  palpitation  passed  away  on  our  journey, 
and  there  was  no  return  of  these  symptoms  at  home.  But 
I  now  became  excessively  restless  and  began  to  talk  in  my 
sleep  every  night.  At  first  my  mother  attached  no  import- 
ance at  all  to  this,  attributing  it  to  over-exercise  and  the 
liveliness  of  a  child's  impressions  ;  this  was  all  the  more 
natural,  because  I  had  often  talked  in  my  sleep  before  I  went 
to  school,  and  many  children  are  subject  to  it.  But  now  the 
thing  began  by  degrees  to  assume  a  different  character. 

In  the  first  place,  I  began  to  talk  every  night,  and  several 
times  on  some  nights,  and  to  talk  very  excitedly.  In  the 
second  place,  I  began  also  to  cry  and  sob  in  my  sleep,  to 
jump  out  of  bed  and  try  to  walk  out  of  the  room.  I  slept 
with  my  parents  in  their  bedroom,  and  my  bed  was  close 
to  theirs.  The  door  was  now  locked  on  the  inside,  and 
Pelageya  the  housekeeper  slept  in  the  passage  outside  the 
door,  to  make  it  impossible  for  me  to  leave  the  room. 
My  nocturnal  distress  grew  worse  every  day,  or  rather 
every  night,  till  at  last  it  bore  an  evident  resemblance  to 
the  fits  front  which  I  used  to  suffer,  during  the  day  only, 
at  school :  once  again  I  cried  and  sobbed  till  I  became 
unconscious,  and  this  was  followed  by  ordinary  sound 
sleep.  But  these  fresh  attacks  by  night  were  much  more 
violent  and  alarming  than  what  I  had  experienced  before  ; 
and  there  was  more  variety  in  the  symptoms.  Sometimes 
I  cried  quietly  and  moaned,  with  hands  always  clenched 
against  my  chest  and  inarticulate  muttering  ;  this  went 
on  for  whoh  hours,  and  passed  into  spasmodic  and  furious 
movements,  in  case  an  attempt  was  made  to  wake  me. 
As  time  went  on,  these  attempts  were  given  up.  When  I 
was  tired  oit  by  tears  and  sobbing,  I  went  quietly  to  sleep. 
But  it  was  very  difficult,  especially  at  first,  for  the  by- 
standers to  look  on  at  such  suffering  without  trying  to 
wake  me  aid  afford  me  some  relief.  I  was  told  afterwards, 
that  not  only  my  mother,  who  suffered  terribly  at  the 


56  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

sight,  but  my  father  and  my  aunt  and  all  my  attendants, 
broke  down  themselves  and  could  not  witness  my  dis- 
tressing symptoms  without  tears.  At  other  times  I  sprang 
to  my  feet  with  a  piercing  cry  and  stared  wildly  round, 
repeating  again  and  again  disjointed  and  meaningless 
phrases,  such  as,  "  Let  me  go  !  " — "  Go  away  !  " — "  I 
can't "— "  Where  is  he  ?  "— "  Where  shall  I  go  ?  "  Then 
I  dashed  to  the  door  or  window  or  corners  of  the  room, 
trying  to  get  past  and  battering  the  wall  with  hands  and 
feet.  At  such  times  I  was  so  strong  that  two  or  three 
people  could  not  hold  me,  and  I  dragged  them  about  the 
room,  with  the  sweat  pouring  from  me.  This  kind  of 
attack  always  ended  with  a  severe  fainting-fit,  in  the 
course  of  which  it  was  hard  to  determine  whether  I  was 
still  breathing ;  the  swoon  by  degrees  passed  off  into 
sleep,  rather  disturbed  at  first,  but  then  sound  and  quiet, 
and  sometimes  lasting  till  nine  in  the  morning.  After 
such  a  night  I  woke  up  as  fresh  and  lively  as  if  I  had  been 
peacefully  asleep  all  the  time ;  and,  though  the  furious 
excitement  and  exertion  left  me  rather  weak  and  pale, 
these  symptoms  soon  passed  off,  and  I  was  quite  cheerful 
all  day,  learning  my  lessons,  running  about,  and  giving 
myself  up  to  my  amusements.  On  waking,  I  jiad  no  clear 
recollection  that  anything  had  happened ;  Sometimes  I 
fancied  vaguely  that  I  had  dreamt  of  something  falling 
upon  me  and  smothering  me,  or  of  monsters  pursuing  me  ; 
sometimes,  when  the  people  holding  me  coujd  not  help 
coaxing  me  with  kind  words  to  lie  down  ar$l  be  quiet, 
their  efforts  roused  me  for  an  instant  to  a  sensi  of  reality  ; 
and  then,  when  I  was  wide  awake  next  morning,  I  remem- 
bered waking  for  some  reason  in  the  night,  to  find  my 
parents  and  others  standing  by  my  bed,  whil^  the  night- 
ingales sang  under  the  windows  and  the  corn<trakes  cried 
across  the  river. 

My  mother  was  at  her  wits'  end ;  she  w^s  specially 
alarmed  by  the  way  in  which  my  face  was  convulsed  and 
I  foamed  at  the  mouth,  while  unconscious.  "These  were 
ominous  signs  ;  and  the  idea,  that  my  trouble  might 
really  be  that  epilepsy  which  Yevs6itch  had  foretold  in  his 
letter  long  before,  filled  her  with  horror.  She  ceased  to 
give  me  the  drops  prescribed  by  Dr.  Benis  ;  tty  medicine 


A  YEAR  IN  THE  COUNTRY  57 

for  purifying  the  blood,  which  had  been  supplied  from  the 
Government  stock  of  drugs,  she  never  used  at  all,  though 
Benis  advised  that  it  should  be  tried ;  he  suspected 
scrofula,  which  I  never  had.  She  allowed  me  to  bathe  in 
the  river,  thinking  that  bathing  might  make  me  stronger  ; 
but,  though  I  enjoyed  it  exceedingly,  it  did  me  no  good. 
Next  my  mother  had  recourse  to  Benis  :  she  sent  him  a 
description  of  the  course  of  my  illness,  a  description  so 
admirable  that  the  doctor  was  charmed  by  it ;  he  thanked 
her  for  it  and  sent  me  some  pills  and  a  kind  of  tea,  and 
prescribed  a  diet.  All  his  directions  were  precisely  carried 
out,  but  the  illness  was  not  relieved  :  on  the  contrary, 
the  attacks  became  more  obstinate,  and  I  grew  weaker. 
The  medicines  were  now  given  up,  and  the  "  wise  women  " 
and  "  wise  men  "  of  the  countryside  were  tried.  They  all 
agreed  that  I  was  bewitched  and  had  been  "  overlooked  " 
by  some  one ;  they  tried  baths  and  ointments  and  fumi- 
gations, but  all  to  no  purpose. 

I  am  not  in  the  least  opposed  to  popular  medicine. 
I  believe  in  it,  especially  in  connexion  with  mesmerism ; 
and  I  have  long  ago  renounced  the  contemptuous  view 
which  many  take  of  it,  from  their  superior  position  of 
enlightenment  and  science.  I  have  seen  so  many  remark- 
able and  convincing  cases,  that  I  cannot  question  the 
efficacy  of  some  of  the  remedies  used  by  the  people.  But 
they  did  me  no  good  then,  perhaps  because  they  did  not 
suit  my  ailment,  or  perhaps  because  my  mother  would  not 
allow  any  but  external  applications  to  be  tried.  I 
remember,  however,  that  on  the  advice  of  a  lady  who  lived 
near  us  I  took  powdered  fern  for  a  long  time ;  only  the 
youngest  sprouts  were  used,  those  which  look  like  a  comb 
and  spring  immediately  from  the  root,  between  the  large 
indented  leaves  of  the  plant.  But  the  fern  also  did  no 
good.  In  the  end,  the  commonest  of  all  medicines  was 
tried ;  it  had  been  constantly  used  in  our  house  in  my 
grandparents'  time,  and  my  aunt  had  often  suggested  it ; 
but  my  mother  had  a  prejudice  against  it,  and  for  long 
would  not  hear  of  its  being  tried.  It  was  called  "  fit- 
drops  "  or  "  storax-drops,"  1  because  the  resin  of  storax 

1  These  are  apparently  what  Aksakoff  elsewhere  calls  "  Haarlem  Drops" : 
as  "  Dutch  Drops,"  they  are  to  this  day  regarded  as  a  panacea  by  sailors. 


58  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

was  the  chief  ingredient ;  ten  drops  were  poured  into  half 
a  glass  of  water,  and  the  water  turned  as  white  as  milk. 
The  number  of  drops  was  increased  by  two  each  day,  till 
twenty-five  were  taken  at  one  dose  ;  it  was  always  given  at 
night.  After  twenty -five  drops  had  been  reached,  the  dose 
was  lessened  by  two  drops  each  day  till  it  finally  came  down 
to  ten.  The  very  first  dose  did  me  good  ;  and  in  a  month 
the  illness  had  completely  disappeared  and  never  returned. 
I  went  on  bathing  all  the  time,  and  ate  just  what  I 
pleased.  What  a  noise  it  would  have  made,  if  some  famous 
doctor  had  cured  me  with  such  marvellous  success  !  What 
a  relief  it  was  to  my  poor  mother  and  father  and  all  the 
household,  especially  to  Pelageya  the  housekeeper,  who 
was  constantly  occupied  with  me  during  the  attacks, 
beginning  to  tell  me  fairy-stories  as  soon  as  I  went  to  bed, 
and  going  on  with  them  even  after  I  fell  asleep.  My  mother 
was  as  happy  as  if  she  had  rescued  me  from  school  a 
second  time.  My  case  shows  how  often  we  go  far  afield  in 
search  of  healing,  when  it  is  close  beside  us  all  the  time. 
I  shall  now  go  back  a  little  in  the  course  of  my  narrative. 
In  spite  of  the  alarming  nature  of  my  illness,  I  went  on 
all  the  time  with  my  lessons  and  out-door  amusements 
also  ;  only,  when  the  attacks  became  more  severe,  I  was 
more  moderate  in  the  amount  of  exercise  I  took,  and  my 
mother  kept  a  careful  eye  on  me,  and  would  not  let  me  go 
far  away  or  for  long.  Every  morning  before  the  great 
heat  came  on,  I  went  out  with  Yevseitch  to  fish.  Our  very 
best  fishing  was  in  the  garden,  and  almost  under  our 
windows,  because  there  was  a  mill  and  a  very  large  pond 
below  Aksakovo  in  the  village  of  Kivatsky,  and  the  over- 
flow caused  by  the  dam  extended  nearly  as  far  up  as  our 
garden.  Every  sportsman  knows  how  good  the  fishing 
is,  under  such  conditions.  Now  for  the  first  time  1 
became  acquainted  with  the  fisherman's  chief  delight — 
the  catching  of  large  fish.  Up  till  then  I  had  caught  only 
roach,  perch,  and  gudgeons  ;  it  is  true  that  the  two  former 
fish  often  attain  considerable  size,  but,  for  some  reason,  I 
never  happened  to  hook  a  very  large  one  ;  and,  if  I  had, 
I  could  not  have  landed  it,  as  I  used  thin  lines  and  small 
hooks.  But  now  Yevseitch  plaited  two  lines  for  me,  each 
of  twenty  horse-hairs,  attached  stout  hooks  to  them, 


A  YEAR  IN  THE  COUNTRY  59 

and  tied  the  lines  to  strong  rods  ;  then  he  took  his  own  line 
as  well,  and  guided  me  through  the  garden  to  a  pool  which 
he  kept  a  secret  from  others,  and  which  he  called  "  The 
Golden  Pool."  He  baited  my  hook  with  a  piece  of  brown 
bread-crumb  about  the  size  of  a  large  hazel-nut,  and  cast 
my  line  right  under  a  bush  in  the  deep  water,  while  he 
dropped  his  own  by  the  bank  near  the  weed  and  rushes. 
I  sat  quietly,  never  daring  to  take  my  eyes  off  my  float,  as 
it  swayed  gently  up  and  down  in  the  eddy  that  formed 
under  the  bank.  Before  long,  Yevseitch  suddenly  sprang 
up  and  cried  out,  "  I  've  got  him,  bdtyushka  "  ; 1  then  he 
began  to  struggle  with  a  big  fish,  holding  the  rod  in  both 
hands.  Yevseitch  had  no  idea  of  scientific  fishing  :  he 
merely  pulled  with  all  his  might,  trying  to  jerk  the  fish 
out  over  his  shoulder.  But  the  fish  had  probably  got 
fixed  behind  some  weed  or  rushes  ;  the  rod  was  no  more 
than  a  stick,  and  the  line  broke,  so  that  we  did  not  even 
see  what  sort  of  a  fish  it  was.  Yevseitch  was  very  excited  ; 
and  I  too,  as  I  watched  him,  was  almost  shaking.  He 
vowed  that  it  was  the  largest  fish  he  had  ever  hooked  in  his 
life  ;  but  it  was  probably  a  carp  or  chub  of  ordinary  size, 
which  seemed  so  heavy  to  him  because  it  had  got  entangled 
in  the  weed.  Then  he  shook  free  my  other  line  and  cast  it 
as  quick  as  he  could  into  the  same  spot :  "  I  believe  I  was 
a  little  too  hasty,"  he  said  :  "  this  time  I  won't  pull  so 
hard  "  ;  and  down  he  sat  on  the  grass,  to  wait  for  a  second 
bite  ;  but  none  came. 

My  chance  came  next,  and  fortune  resolved  to  do  me  a 
good  turn.  My  float  began  gradually  to  rise  on  end  and 
fall  again ;  then  it  remained  on  end  and  finally  dis- 
appeared under  water.  I  struck,  and  a  very  large  fish 
began  to  move  heavily,  as  if  reluctantly,  through  the  water. 
When  Yevseitch  ran  to  my  aid  and  caught  hold  of  my 
rod,  I  remembered  what  he  had  just  said,  and  told  him 
again  and  again  not  to  pull  so  hard.  At  last,  as  the  rod, 
which  I  never  let  go,  was  not  very  supple,2  and  the  line  was 

1  The  word  means  "father,"  but  is  used  as  a  general  title  of  respect  or 
affection. 

2  In  order  to  land  big  fish,  a  supple  rod  is  generally  much  better  than 
a  stiff  one.     But  in  this  case,  contrary  to  all  the  rules  of  art,  the  fish  was 
jerked  out  over  the  shoulder  ;  and  therefore  the  stiff  rod  did  good  service, 
as  the  line  was  tough  enough  to  support  the  fish.     (Author's  Note.) 


60  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

new  and  strong,  we  landed  somehow  by  our  united  efforts 
a  very  large  carp.  Yevseltch  fell  on  it  at  full  length, 
crying  out,  "  Now  we  've  got  him,  my  little  falcon ;  he 
won't  escape  now  !  "  In  my  joy  I  shook  like  a  man  in  a 
fever — indeed  this  often  happened  afterwards  when  I 
caught  a  large  fish ;  for  long  I  could  not  calm  down,  but 
kept  constantly  running  to  look  at  my  prize,  as  it  lay  on 
the  grassy  bank  at  a  safe  distance  from  the  water.  We 
threw  in  the  line  again ;  but  the  fish  had  ceased  to  take, 
and  half  an  hour  later  we  went  home,  as  I  had  only  leave 
to  be  out  a  short  time.  This  early  success  confirmed 
once  for  all  my  passion  for  fishing.  We  tied  the  carp  to  a 
branch,  and  I  carried  it  home  to  show  my  father,  who  liked 
to  fish  at  times  himself.  In  those  days  it  was  not  our 
custom  at  Aksakovo  to  weigh  big  fish  ;  but  I  believe  that 
I  never  afterwards  caught  so  large  a  carp,  and  that  it 
weighed  at  least  seven  pounds. 

My  father  sometimes  took  me  with  him  when  he  went 
out  shooting,  but  he  went  very  seldom.  I  took  a  strong 
interest  in  the  proceedings,  and  these  expeditions  were 
red-letter  days  for  me,  although  my  share  was  confined 
to  performing  the  duties  of  a  retriever  :  I  mean  that  I 
ran  to  pick  up  the  dead  birds  and  handed  them  to  my 
father.  The  gun  I  might  not  even  hold.  But  in  the 
summer  holidays  three  years  later — I  shall  describe  this 
period  when  I  come  to  it — I  fired  a  gun  for  the  first  time, 
and  my  fate  was  fixed  ;  all  other  sports,  even  fishing,  lost 
their  charm  in  my  eyes,  and  I  became  and  remained 
throughout  life  a  passionate  lover  of  the  gun. 

August  was  ending  before  I  was  quite  well  again,  and 
the  large  fish  had  long  ceased  to  take  ;  but  I  managed  to 
pull  out  some  of  considerable  size,  and,  as  a  matter  of 
course,  lost  twice  as  many  ;  the  perch-fishing,  on  the  other 
hand,  was  still  at  its  best.  Besides,  I  was  much  interested 
at  that  time  in  hawking.  As  early  as  July,  the  old  hawks 
were  taken  out  in  pursuit  of  quails,  and  the  young  birds 
taken  from  the  nest  had  long  been  in  training.  The  sport 
was  carried  on  with  great  success.  The  old  hawks  were 
managed  by  Mazan  and  Tanaichonok,  the  young  ones  by 
Theodor  and  Yevse"itch.  I  had  a  little  hawk  of  my  own, 
very  well  trained,  with  which  I  caught  sparrows  and  other 


A  YEAR  IN  THE  COUNTRY  61 

small  birds.  I  sometimes  drove  to  the  fields  on  a  long 
car  with  one  of  the  falconers,  most  often  with  Yevseitch, 
and  I  liked  to  watch  the  pursuit  of  the  fat  autumn  quails 
and  landrails.  And  so  I  passed  the  summer  and  beginning 
of  autumn,  constantly  engaged  in  country  occupations 
and  amusements,  among  which  I  may  reckon  expeditions 
to  pick  berries  and,  later  in  the  year,  mushrooms.1 

My  mother  had  no  taste  for  such  expeditions,  and  could 
seldom  be  persuaded  to  drive  with  my  father  and  me  to 
field  or  forest.  I  remember,  however,  that  she  was 
sometimes  tempted  out  to  the  fallow  lands  near  the  house 
by  the  wild  strawberries  which  grew  there  in  wonderful 
profusion  in  those  days  ;  she  was  very  fond  of  them  and 
thought  them  good  for  her  health.  Occasionally  we  drove 
in  a  family  party  to  the  picturesque  springs  in  the  hills  and 
drank  tea  in  the  shade  of  the  birches ;  but  my  mother 
was  bored  beyond  endurance  by  picking  mushrooms, 
though  my  father  and  aunt  were  very  fond  of  it,  and  I 
shared  their  taste.  But  the  worst  thing  of  all  was,  that 
my  mother  did  not  love  our  dear  Aksakovo.  In  her  view, 
its  position  was  low  and  damp — she  was  right  there  to 
some  extent ;  the  smell  from  the  pond  and  mill-dam  was 
repulsive ;  and  the  water  of  the  springs  was  chalky  and 
hard.  She  considered  all  the  conditions  positively 
dangerous  to  her  health ;  and,  though  there  was  much 
truth  in  her  view,  there  was  also  much  prejudice  and 
exaggeration.  It  must  be  remembered  that  she  was  born 
and  grew  up  in  a  town  and  found  the  country  everywhere 
lacking  in  interest.  My  father  and  I  listened  with  morti- 
fication to  the  eloquent  invectives  which  she  often  aimed 
at  Aksakovo,  and,  though  we  did  not  venture  to  defend  it, 
our  hearts  were  not  convinced.  Though  my  mother  lived 
in  the  country,  she  did  not  adopt  country  ways  :  she 
occupied  herself  with  her  children,  or  read,  or  carried  on 
an  active  correspondence  with  former  acquaintances,  many 
of  them  notable  people,  who,  after  visiting  Ufa  or  living 
there  for  a  short  time,  had  kept  a  lasting  feeling  of  friend- 

1  I  did  not  then  foresee  that  picking  mushrooms  would  provide  one  of 
the  standing  amusements  of  my  old  age.  In  gratitude  for  this,  I  long  ago 
took  a  fancy — and  I  do  not  yet  give  it  up — of  writing  a  little  book  about 
mushrooms  and  the  pleasure  of  picking  them.  (Author's  Note.) 

He  did  write  an  article  on  the  subject,  which  is  included  in  his  works. 


62  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

ship  and  respect  for  my  mother.  She  liked  also  to  read 
medical  books,  Buchan's  Domestic  Medicine  being  her 
chief  stand-by ;  while  nursing  her  sick  father  for  several 
years,  she  had  become  used  to  read  books  of  this  kind. 
She  kept  a  medicine-chest  in  the  house  and  treated  sick 
people  herself,  and  not  only  those  on  our  own  estate,  so 
that  not  a  few  patients  used  to  be  brought  from  the 
surrounding  villages  ;  in  this  good  work  my  father  gave 
her  his  active  assistance.  To  the  management  of  the 
household  she  gave  hardly  any  attention. 

Autumn  now  came  on,  and  my  outdoor  amusements, 
one  after  another,  ceased  to  be  possible.  The  days  grew 
short  and  dark  ;  rain  and  cold  soon  drove  everyone  indoors, 
and  I  began  to  spend  more  time  with  my  mother  and  to 
do  more  lessons  in  the  shape  of  writing,  and  reading  aloud. 
In  the  long  evenings,  my  father  used  to  read  to  us,  and 
occasionally  my  mother,  who  was  a  remarkably  good 
reader.  Though  my  father  had  not  acquired  the  habit 
of  reading  in  his  early  life  at  home — my  grandparents  had 
no  books  except  almanacks  and  some  pamphlets  recom- 
mending "  Haarlem  Drops  "  and  "  The  Elixir  of  Life  "— 
yet  he  had  a  natural  taste  for  literature,  as  is  proved  by  a 
very  large  collection  of  songs  and  other  verses  of  that  day, 
copied  out  by  him  with  his  own  hand,  which  is  still  in  my 
possession.  My  mother  was  able  to  develop  this  natural 
taste  ;  and  so  the  readings  went  on  every  evening  and 
interested  us  all.  It  gives  me  keen  pleasure  to  recall 
these  evenings,  at  which  my  aunt  Tatyana  was  always 
present.  The  enjoyment  of  reading  was  enhanced  by 
roasted  chestnuts,  of  which  my  mother  was  very  fond, 
though  they  were  very  bad  for  her.  A  copper  box  1  con- 
taining the  chestnuts  made  its  appearance  each  evening  ; 
and  nut-crackers  and  bits  of  stick  were  brought  in  to  crack 
the  chestnuts  and  open  them  with.  But,  as  soon  as  my 
interest  was  excited  by  the  reading,  I  resented  the  extra 
entertainment,  because  it  distracted  attention  and  made 

1  The  history  of  this  box  is  worth  recording.  When  my  mother  was 
married  in  1788,  it  held  her  ribbons  and  laces  ;  in  the  nineties  and  as  late 
as  1801,  it  was  our  receptacle  for  roasted  chestnuts  ;  in  1807  it  contained 
more  than  100,000  roubles  in  notes  and  bills,  and  diamonds  and  pearls 
worth  a  great  sum ;  and  now  it  lies  under  my  son's  writing-table, 
crammed  with  old  papers.  (Author's  Note.) 


A  YEAR  IN  THE  COUNTRY  63 

it  difficult  to  listen.  When  my  mother  was  in  a  happy 
frame  of  mind  and  felt  better  than  usual,  her  gaiety  was 
infectious  :  she  laughed  a  great  deal  and  made  us  laugh 
too.  There  was  one  story  in  particular,  Francicico 
Petroccio  and  The  Adventures  of  Ilya  Bendel,1  so  silly  in 
itself  and  so  absurdly  translated  into  bad  Russian,  that  it 
excited  our  hearty  laughter  ;  and  then  my  mother's  lively 
and  pointed  comments  worked  us  up  to  such  a  state  that 
we  all  literally  rocked  in  a  paroxysm  of  merriment.  This 
stopped  the  reading  for  some  time.  But  there  were  also 
books  which  excited  keen  interest  and  sympathy,  and  even 
brought  tears  to  the  eyes  of  the  listeners. 

The  approach  of  winter  with  its  first  snow-showers  and 
slight  frosts  made  it  possible  for  me  to  go  back  for  a  time 
to  my  outdoor  amusements.  We  walked  up  hares,  the 
large  grey  kind  and  the  white,  over  the  snow.  My  father 
took  me  with  him,  and  we  were  accompanied  by  a  mis- 
cellaneous crowd  of  beaters.  The  method  was  to  place 
nets  almost  all  round  a  hare  lying  in  her  form ;  then  the 
beaters  with  loud  shouts  moved  forward  along  the  open 
space,  till  the  frightened  hare  sprang  up  and  got  entangled 
in  the  netting.  I  ran  too  and,  as  may  be  guessed,  made 
more  noise  and  got  more  excited  than  any  one.  I  was 
very  fond  of  this  amusement  and  liked  to  talk  about  it 
with  my  father.  When  my  mother  was  busy  over  some- 
thing and  found  my  constant  questions  troublesome, 
or  when  she  was  not  feeling  well,  she  often  sent  me  off 
to  my  father  with  the  words,  "  Go  and  talk  to  him 
about  your  dear  hares  !  " — and  then  we  two  had  endless 
conversations  on  the  subject.  Another  great  occupation 
of  mine  was  to  lay  traps  for  small  animals — martens, 
ermines,  and  stoats.  The  pretty  soft  skins  of  my  victims 
were  hung  up  as  trophies  by  my  bed. 

But  soon  heavy  snowstorms  began,  the  ground  was 
covered  with  deep  drifts,  and  all  my  outdoor  pursuits 
came  to  an  end  for  good.  A  winter  snowstorm  is  a  sad 
and  even  alarming  sight,  not  only  to  the  wanderer  on  the 
steppe,  but  also  to  those  who  sit  warm  indoors.  The 
snow  covers  the  windows,  blows  in  through  the  doors, 

1  I  have  been  unable  to  find  out  anything  about  these  works,  and 
should  be  grateful  for  any  information. 


64  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

and  obliterates  all  the  paths  from  the  house  to  the  servants' 
cottages,  so  that  they  have  to  be  dug  out ;  at  forty  paces 
off  a  man  is  invisible.  At  last  the  snowdrifts  become 
so  huge  that  one  cannot  believe  they  will  ever  disappear, 
and  a  feeling  of  depression  is  inevitable.  Dwellers  in  the 
capitals  can  have  no  conception  of  this,  but  country 
people  will  understand  and  share  my  feeling.  I  was 
confined  to  the  house  for  good  and  all :  nothing  would 
induce  my  mother  to  let  me  go  out  with  my  father  on  his 
expeditions  to  the  river.  He  sometimes  went  in  a  sledge 
to  places  by  a  ford,  where  a  barrier  or  close  hedge  of 
stakes,  with  wicker  traps  in  the  middle,  had  been  stuck 
in  where  the  stream  ran  deep.  Between  Christmas  and 
Epiphany,  or  even  earlier,  the  fish  called  nalim  1  began  to 
get  caught  in  these  traps,  and  some  of  them  were  very 
large.  They  were  brought  to  the  house  stiff  with  the 
hard  frost,  and  thrown  into  a  large  trough  full  of  water ; 
then  the  fat,  mottled,  dark-green  fish  began  to  thaw  by 
degrees,  to  splash,  and  to  move  their  tails  covered  over  with 
soft  down.  I  stood  long  beside  the  trough,  admiring  their 
movements,  and  starting  back  each  time  that  the  drops  of 
water  flew  from  their  fins  or  tails.  My  father  kept  a 
number  of  these  captives  in  large  tanks,  and  soup  made 
out  of  them  or,  still  better,  pies  made  out  of  their  livers, 
appeared  nearly  every  day  at  our  table,  till  we  all  got 
heartily  tired  of  them.  When  they  ceased  to  be  popular, 
they  became  an  occasional  dish,  and  the  whole  stock  was 
exhausted  before  the  end  of  Lent. 

As  I  have  said  already,  my  mother  had  formerly  lived 
in  a  town ;  she  had  also  suffered  much  oppression  and 
sadness  in  her  childhood  and  early  youth ;  and  then  she 
had  gained  what  may  be  called  some  external  contact  with 
culture  by  the  reading  of  books  and  by  acquaintance  with 
people  of  intelligence  and  education,  according  to  the 
standards  of  those  days — a  contact  which  often  arouses 
a  kind  of  pride  and  contempt  for  the  simple  life  of  the  poor. 
From  all  these  causes  combined,  she  did  not  understand 
and  did  not  like  the  dances  of  the  people,  or  their  songs  at 
weddings  and  festivals,  or  their  Christmas  revels ;  she 
did  not  even  know  much  about  them.  She  was  therefore 
1  The  English  name  seems  to  be  '  burbot.' 


A  YEAR  IN  THE  COUNTRY  65 

very  unwilling  to  give  her  consent,  when  my  aunt  begged 
that  I  might  have  leave  to  watch  the  servants  acting.  My 
aunt  herself,  who  had  grown  up  in  the  country,  had  a 
strong  taste  for  everything  of  the  kind :  she  sometimes 
got  up  singing  and  acting  in  her  own  room,  and  the  sweet 
enchanting  sounds  of  the  songs  native  to  the  people,  as 
they  floated  to  my  ear  from  two  rooms  off,  filled  me  with 
excitement  and  gave  me  thoughts  which  I  could  not 
fully  understand.  I  was  very  much  vexed  that  I  was 
not  allowed  even  to  be  present  at  the  acting,  far  less,  to 
take  part  in  it ;  and,  as  a  consequence  of  this  strict 
prohibition,  I  was  tempted  at  last  to  deceive  my  wise 
mother  whom  I  loved  so  well.  I  began,  of  course,  by 
begging  to  go,  and  besieged  my  mother  with  questions, 
asking  why  she  objected  to  my  looking  on.  She  answered 
positively  and  sternly  :  "A  great  deal  that  goes  on  there 
is  silly  and  repulsive  and  undesirable,  and  you  have  no 
business  to  hear  or  see  such  things,  because  you  are  still 
a  child,  unable  to  distinguish  good  from  evil."  But,  as 
I  saw  nothing  bad  or  did  not  understand  it  if  I  saw  it,  I 
obeyed  her  reluctantly,  without  inward  conviction  and 
even  with  a  feeling  of  injury.  My  aunt,  on  the  other 
hand,  and  her  own  maids,  gave  quite  a  different  account : 
they  said  that  my  mother  was  naturally  inclined  to  be 
discontented  with  everything ;  that  she  disliked  every- 
thing about  country  life,  and  that  her  bad  health  was  due 
to  this  cause  ;  that,  because  she  was  not  cheerful  herself, 
she  wished  no  one  else  to  be  cheerful  either.  These  words 
made  a  secret  impression  on  my  young  mind ;  and  the 
consequence  was,  that  my  aunt  induced  me  to  go  for  once 
without  leave  and  look  on  at  the  acting.  This  was  the 
way  in  which  it  was  arranged.  From  Christmas  till 
Twelfth-Night,  my  mother  was  either  not  very  well  or  not 
in  good  spirits  ;  instead  of  reading  to  us  all,  my  father 
read  to  her,  merely  to  send  her  to  sleep,  some  book  she  did 
not  care  for  or  knew  already ;  and  after  tea,  which  was 
always  served  at  six  o'clock  in  the  evening,  she  slept  for 
two  hours  or  more  ;  and  during  this  time  I  used  to  go  to 
my  aunt's  room.  It  was  on  one  of  these  convenient 
occasions  that  she  persuaded  me  to  come  and  see  the 
mummers,  She  wrapped  me  up,  head  and  all,  in  a  fur 


66  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

coat,  put  me  in  the  strong  arms  of  her  maid,  Matrona, 
and  went  off  with  me  to  the  carpenter's  cottage,  where  all 
the  maids  and  girls  of  the  village  were  waiting  for  us, 
dressed  up  as  bears  or  turkeys  or  cranes,  old  men  or  old 
women.  In  spite  of  the  evil  smell  of  tallow  candle-ends, 
the  dim  light  which  a  smoky  pine  torch  threw  round  the 
large  room,  and  the  stifling  atmosphere,  how  much  real 
merriment  there  was  in  these  simple  revels !  Those 
Christmas  songs,  surviving  from  remote  antiquity  and 
telling  of  a  vanished  world,  still  preserved  their  living 
power  to  charm  and  captivate  the  hearts  of  the  people 
through  countless  generations.  All  present  were  filled 
with  a  kind  of  intoxication  of  merriment.  Both  songs  and 
speeches  were  constantly  drowned  by  bursts  of  ringing 
hearty  laughter.  Those  were  not  actors  and  actresses  repre- 
senting a  part  for  the  amusement  of  others — the  dancers 
and  singers  expressed  their  own  feelings,  and  danced  and 
sang  to  please  themselves  out  of  the  abundance  of  their 
hearts,  and  each  excited  spectator  was  an  actor  too.  The 
singing  and  dancing,  talking  and  laughing,  were  universal ; 
but  just  when  the  fun  was  most  fast  and  furious,  the  same 
strong  pair  of  arms  wrapped  me  up  in  the  fur  coat  and 
carried  me  quickly  away  from  that  magical  fabulous  world. 
On  those  nights  I  lay  long  awake,  and  strange  forms  long 
danced  and  sang  round  my  bed  and  kept  company  with 
me  even  in  my  dreams. 

On  the  first  occasion,  I  was  drawn  into  this  act  of 
deception  suddenly  and  almost  forcibly ;  and,  after  I 
went  back  to  the  house,  it  was  long  before  I  could  look  my 
mother  in  the  face ;  but  the  fascination  of  the  sight  had 
taken  such  hold  of  me  that  I  readily  agreed  to  go  a  second 
time,  and  afterwards  took  the  first  step  myself,  begging  my 
aunt  that  I  might  go  and  see  the  mummers. 

At  last  the  severity  of  the  winter  came  to  an  end,  and 
the  frost  became  less  intense.  As  we  had  no  thermometers 
in  those  days,  I  cannot  say  how  many  degrees  of  cold  we 
reckoned  ;  but  I  remember  that  birds  were  frozen,  and 
some  bodies  of  sparrows  and  jackdaws  were  brought  to 
me,  which  had  fallen  dead  in  flight  and  turned  stiff  in  a 
moment ;  in  some  cases  they  were  revived  by  warmth. 
In  general,  I  ought  to  remark  that  the  winters  of  my 


A  YEAR  IN  THE  COUNTRY  67 

childhood  and  early  youth  were  much  more  severe  than 
they  are  now ;  and  this  is  not  merely  an  old  man's  prejudice, 
for,  during  my  residence  at  Kazan  before  the  beginning  of 
the  year  1807,  mercury  was  twice  frozen,  so  that  we  could 
hammer  it  like  hot  iron.  But  this  has  become  a  mere 
legend  of  the  past  now  at  Kazan. 

The  sun  began  to  give  some  warmth,  and  the  roads  to 
glitter  in  his  rays.  Shrove-tide  came  and  brought  tobog- 
ganing with  it.  To  my  regret,  my  mother  would  not  let 
me  toboggan  with  the  village  children.  As  I  coasted  down 
with  my  sister  and  sometimes  with  my  little  brother,  I  cast 
envious  glances,  as  we  ran  past,  at  the  crowd  of  village 
boys  and  girls,  all  ruddy  with  the  air  and  exercise,  who 
sped  boldly  down  all  the  way  from  the  stackyard  at  the 
top  of  the  hill  on  their  small  sleds  or  toboggans  or  skates. 
For  toboggans,  they  were  content  with  old  sieves  or  round 
wicker  baskets,  shod  with  ice.  The  merry  active  children, 
often  dressed  up  in  strange  costumes,  talked  and  laughed 
their  loudest,  especially  when  a  skater  flew  head  over 
heels,  or  a  toboggan  span  quickly  round  and  upset,  and 
the  girl-passenger  began  to  shriek  long  before  the  ship- 
wreck of  her  vehicle.  How  I  longed  to  join  in  their  merry 
noise  and  laughter,  and,  after  seeing  them,  how  tiresome 
it  seemed  to  me  to  toboggan  in  solitude  on  the  little  ice- 
run  which  had  been  made  in  the  garden,  in  front  of  the 
drawing-room  windows  !  But  I  had  one  consolation,  that 
my  sister  used  to  go  there  with  me. 

When  Lent  began,  our  winter  sports,  of  which  we  had 
not  many,  all  came  to  an  end.  It  cannot  be  said  that 
Lent  in  our  house  was  spent  in  prayer  and  fasting.  My 
mother  did  not  observe  fasts,  on  the  ground  of  health ; 
I  certainly  did  no  fasting  ;  and  as  to  my  father,  though  he 
ate  no  meat  during  Lent  and  the  Fast  of  the  Assumption 
(August  1  to  15),  yet  his  dinner  was  much  more  dainty 
then  than  at  other  times,1  owing  to  the  abundant  supply 
of  frozen  sterlets  and  sturgeon  from  the  Ural  district,  fresh 
caviare,  and  nalim  from  the  tanks.  In  those  days  the 

1  "  Even  their  fast  days — they  ca'  it  fasting  when  they  hae  the  best  o' 
sea-fish  frae  Hartlepool  and  Sunderland  by  land  carriage,  forbye  trout?, 
grilses,  salmon  and  a'  the  lave  o't,  and  so  they  make  their  very  fasting  a 
kind  of  luxury  and  abomination"  :  Rob  Boy,  chap.  vi. 


68  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

nearest  church  was  nine  versts  away,  in  the  village  of 
Mordovsky  Boogoorooslan.  For  some  reason  the  priest 
was  not  well-disposed  to  us,  and  we  went  there  only  for 
the  great  festivals.  In  general,  it  must  be  said,  our  family 
were  not  indifferent  to  religious  ordinances,  but  the  dis- 
tance of  the  church  had  the  usual  effect,  and  we  were  not 
accustomed  to  attend  divine  service.  Thus  I  spent  the 
season  of  Lent  in  working  as  usual,  or  rather  harder  than 
usual,  at  my  books.  My  own  pupil  was  no  longer  a  cause 
of  vexation  but  gave  me  pleasure  by  her  progress.  With 
her  I  made  buildings  out  of  bricks  or  played  with  dolls, 
and  sometimes  I  read  fables  for  children  and  explained 
them  to  her. 

During  all  this  time,  my  mother  had  something  on  her 
mind  and  was  at  times  obviously  unhappy ;  and  she  was 
less  with  me,  so  that  I  had  more  time  for  quiet  reflexion. 
School  life  had  given  a  shock  to  the  sweet  security  of 
childhood,  and  my  return  home  had  not  obliterated  the 
new  impressions.  I  found  that  I  had  lost  the  old  freedom 
from  care  and  the  old  passion  for  outdoor  amusements ; 
I  began  to  pay  more  attention  to  what  went  on  around 
me,  and  to  understand  some  things  which  I  had  never 
before  noticed.  The  radiance  of  some  objects  began  to 
fade  for  me,  and  a  peculiar  feeling  of  sadness,  such  as  I 
had  never  experienced  before,  began  to  cast  a  shadow 
over  all  the  amusements  and  occupations  I  had  loved  so 
well.  This  is  a  sad  subject,  and  I  do  not  intend  to  dwell 
upon  it ;  but  some  allusion  to  it  is  necessary,  in  order  to 
explain  why  life  at  Aksakovo  ceased  after  some  months  to 
be  to  me  the  bright  paradise  it  had  been  once,  and  why  I 
no  longer  dreaded  returning  to  school ;  besides,  I  was  not 
to  go  there  as  a  Government  scholar. 

Winter  was  long  and  obstinate,  and  spring  slow  in 
asserting  her  rights.  April  was  ending,  before  a  warm  air, 
together  with  wind  and  rain,  attacked  the  terrible  snow- 
drifts in  earnest,  and  routed  them  in  the  course  of  a  single 
week.  At  Easter  the  roads  were  utterly  impassable:  and 
we  could  not  even  attend  the  morning  service  on  the  great 
festival.  Easter  Week  brought  little  happiness  to  me ; 
for  my  mother  was  unwell  and  depressed,  and  my  father, 
unusually  silent,  was  constantly  poring  over  documents  in 


A  YEAR  IN  THE  COUNTRY  69 

connexion  with  a  lawsuit  against  the  Bogdanoffs  about 
some  land  ;  in  the  end,  he  won  this  case.  He  went  every 
day  to  the  mill,  to  observe  the  rise  of  the  water. 

One  day  he  came  home  unexpectedly  soon  and  said  to 
me  :  "  We  intend  to  let  the  water  out  of  the  pond  at 
once,  Seryozha ;  ask  your  mother  if  you  may  come." 
Off  I  ran  to  ask  leave,  and  I  was  more  fortunate  than 
usual ;  for  my  mother  let  me  go,  when  she  had  taken  some 
precautions  against  wet  feet  and  chills.  We  drove  to  the 
mill  on  a  long  country  car,  and  found  the  labourers  waiting 
for  us  on  the  mill-dam,  armed  with  implements  of  different 
kinds.  All  Russians  love  to  watch  moving  water,  and  the 
population  of  Aksakovo  had  collected  in  a  body  to  watch 
the  process  of  emptying  the  pond.  A  mill-race  with  a 
sliding  gate  to  exclude  the  water  was  unknown  in  our 
country  in  those  days,  and  the  opening  made  in  the  dam 
to  let  out  the  flood  water  was  filled  up  again  and  rammed 
tight  every  year.  The  ice  on  the  pond  was  swollen  and 
dark  and  uneven ;  it  had  cracked  and  broken  away  from 
the  sides ;  and  hardly  any  water  found  its  way  to  the 
machinery.  Axes,  crowbars,  and  iron  shovels  set  to  work 
to  hack  away  the  frozen  dam  along  the  edges  of  the  hole 
made  the  year  before ;  and  the  men  had  hardly  cleared 
away  the  surface  to  a  depth  of  two  feet,  when  the  water 
began  to  flow  and  went  to  work  so  effectively,  with  no 
further  help  from  man,  that  in  half  an  hour  it  had  cleared 
a  path  for  itself.  The  muddy  waves  rushed  forward 
impetuously,  and  turned  instantly  into  a  powerful  river 
which  refused  to  confine  itself  to  the  new  channel  and 
inundated  the  surrounding  land.  The  people  saluted 
with  shouts  of  joy  the  element  they  loved,  as  it  tore  its 
way  to  freedom  from  its  winter  prison ;  the  shrill  voices 
of  the  women  rose  above  the  rest ;  and  their  cries,  the 
splashing  of  the  water  as  it  fell  from  a  height,  and  the 
cracking  of  the  ice  as  it  settled  down  and  broke — all  this 
presented  a  picture  full  of  life ;  and,  had  not  a  message 
come  from  the  house  that  it  was  long  past  dinner-time,  my 
father  and  I  would  probably  have  stayed  till  the  evening 
to  watch  it. 

Next  morning  we  went  back  to  the  dam  and  found  a 
different  scene  there,  though  the  noise  and  merriment  were 


70  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

as  great  as  before.  The  violence  of  the  water's  first  onset 
had  calmed  down  a  good  deal ;  the  level  of  the  pond  had 
fallen  noticeably  ;  small  blocks  of  ice  had  broken  against 
the  posts  and  been  swept  along,  while  large  blocks  had 
settled  at  the  bottom  of  the  pond  where  it  was  shallow. 
The  ground  outside  the  hole  in  the  dam  had  formerly 
been  almost  dry,  though  a  great  volume  of  water  was 
running  there  now ;  and  short  stout  stakes  had  been  driven 
in  here  before  the  flood  came  down.  Now  the  men  were 
wading  waist-deep  into  the  water,  to  tie  or  hang  upon  the 
stakes  traps  of  different  kinds  ;  and  the  fish  driven  down- 
stream by  the  pressure  of  the  water,  and,  still  more,  the 
fish  that  made  their  way  upstream  as  far  as  the  opening 
in  the  dam  till  they  were  beaten  back  by  the  might  of  the 
falling  waves,  got  caught  in  the  traps  set  for  them.  The 
men  were  dripping  wet  and  shivering  with  cold  ;  yet  they 
bandied  jests  and  loud  cries  with  one  another,  as  they 
kept  drawing  out  their  spoil  upon  the  bank ;  and  the 
women  and  old  people  and  children  carried  it  home, 
using  baskets  and  sieves  for  the  purpose,  or  sometimes 
merely  their  petticoats.  We  picked  out  some  large  fish 
and  started  homewards.  My  mother  was  vexed  with  us 
for  staying  so  long,  and  it  was  some  time  before  I  got  leave 
to  visit  the  mill  again. 

Before  long  all  traces  of  winter  had  disappeared ;  the 
bushes  and  trees  were  clothed  with  green,  the  young  grass 
grew  up,  and  spring  appeared  in  all  its  beauty.  As  before, 
our  garden  was  soon  populous  with  songbirds  of  all  kinds 
which  had  a  special  fancy  for  the  old  gooseberry-bushes 
and  barberries  ;  again  the  nightingales  began  to  sing,  and 
the  mocking-bird  to  imitate  their  song.  The  previous 
spring  I  had  spent  in  close  confinement,  in  a  narrow  room 
in  hospital ;  and  it  would  have  been  natural  for  me  to 
feel  a  special  pleasure  in  the  contrast ;  but  I  had  a  con- 
stant heartache,  and,  though  I  did  not  clearly  understand 
the  cause  of  it,  yet  all  my  occupations,  to  which  I  seemed 
to  devote  myself  as  usual,  were  poisoned  by  a  feeling  of 
sorrow. 

While  it  was  yet  winter,  my  father  determined  to  make 
a  new  outlet  for  the  mill-dam,  provided  with  a  sluice, 
and  to  build  a  better  mill.  For  this  purpose  he  employed 


A  YEAR  IN  THE  COUNTRY  71 

a  miller  called  Krasnoff,  a  great  talker,  who  turned  out 
eventually  to  be  a  great  impostor.  During  the  whole 
of  Lent,  our  labourers  were  preparing  timber  of  all  kinds 
— large  and  small  beams,  joists,  planks,  and  posts  ;  it 
seemed  that  all  these  were  required  in  large  numbers. 
As  soon  as  the  flood  water  had  run  down,  they  began  to 
pierce  the  dam  and  build  a  new  channel  for  the  water  in  a 
different  place.  At  the  same  time,  hired  labourers  began 
to  drive  in  piles  and  then  to  build  a  large  mill,  also  in  a 
new  position,  which  was  intended  to  hold  six  pairs  of 
grinding-stones  ;  there  was  also  to  be  a  crushing-machine 
in  a  building  of  its  own.  The  work  went  on  nearly  all 
summer.  My  father  had  a  blind  belief  in  Krasnoff,  but 
the  old  miller  Boltunyonok,  and  some  of  our  peasants  who 
knew  something  about  the  building  of  mills,  grinned  and 
shook  their  heads,  when  they  were  by  themselves.  When 
my  father  said  :  "  What  do  you  think  of  Krasnoff  ?  How 
well  he  understands  his  job  !  He  has  made  a  plan  of  it 
all  on  paper  ;  he  trusts  to  his  eye  in  making  the  piles, 
and  they  all  fit  perfectly  !  " — our  men  always  answered 
with  the  innocent  cunning  of  the  Russian  peasant : 
"  Oh,  he  's  all  alive,  bdtyushka,  and  a  capital  hand  at  his 
job.  He  works  it  all  out  in  his  head  ;  and  everything  fits 
into  its  place  just  as  it  ought  to  fit.  Only  one  can't  tell 
how  the  mill  is  going  to  work ;  the  water  may  run  slow 
along  that  channel,  slower  than  it  did  when  it  came 
straight  from  the  current.  We  only  hope  it  won't  freeze 
in  winter."  Krasnoff  smiled  at  these  criticisms  and 
refuted  them  with  such  perfect  assurance  that  it  never 
entered  my  father's  head  for  a  moment  to  doubt  of  success. 
I  too  listened  with  reverence  and  awe  to  the  eloquence  of 
Krasnoff. 

Meanwhile  the  building  operations  made  it  necessary 
to  let  the  water  out  of  the  pond ;  and  such  fishing 
followed  as  was  never  known  either  before  or  since. 
All  the  fish  in  the  pond  made  for  the  river  which  fed  it, 
and  the  fish  were  as  thick  as  they  are  in  a  tureen  of  good 
fish-soup.  The  number  caught  was  fabulous.  I  and  my 
attendant  Yevseitch  never  left  the  place  and  never  cast 
a  line  anywhere  else.  My  father  also,  who  very  seldom 
had  time  for  it,  could  fish  now  from  morning  till  night, 


T2  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

because  he  had  to  spend  most  of  the  day  by  the  mill, 
watching  the  building  operations ;  it  was  quite  easy  for 
him,  while  fishing,  to  keep  an  eye  on  all  the  works  and 
examine  them  from  time  to  time.  Chub,  carp,  perch, 
pike,  and  large  roach  (three  or  four  pounds  weight),  took 
constantly  and  at  all  hours.  The  size  of  the  fish  depended 
on  the  size  of  the  bait :  a  large  bait  always  secured  a 
large  fish.  My  father  liked  especially  to  catch  perch  and 
pike,  and  I  remember  that  he  sometimes  tied  two  hooks 
on  one  line  and  used  small  fish  as  bait ;  and  he  often  had 
two  perch  on  at  once,  and  once  a  perch  and  a  pike.  The 
pike  were  generally  caught  in  traps  which  were  baited 
with  fair-sized  perch ;  and  some  of  these  pike  weighed 
nearly  twenty  pounds.  We  were  not  scientific  anglers 
and  had  no  landing-nets ;  so,  in  spite  of  thick  lines  and 
strong  hooks,  it  is  not  surprising  that  the  largest  fish  often 
broke  our  rods  or  tackle  and  made  off.  Yevse"itch,  whose 
excitement  over  fishing  even  in  his  old  age  often  made  me 
laugh,  suffered  more  than  anyone  from  this  cause  ;  and, 
thanks  to  him,  I  also  often  lost  a  large  fish,  because  I  could 
not  pull  it  out  without  his  help,  and  his  help  was  in  most 
cases  a  hindrance.  By  the  middle  of  July  the  best  of  the 
sport  was  over,  and  the  chub  and  other  large  fish  ceased  to 
take.  But  the  smaller  fish  still  gave  excellent  sport ;  and 
the  others  would  probably  have  gone  on  taking,  if  we  had 
known  then  to  use  whole  crayfish  as  a  bait. 

Throughout  this  year,  my  mother  corresponded  regularly 
once  a  month  with  Upadishevsky.  During  the  twelve- 
month a  number  of  changes  had  taken  place  in  the 
grammar-school  at  Kazan.  The  Rector  had  retired, 
and  his  duties  were  now  performed  by  the  senior  teacher 
of  Russian  History,  Ilya  Yakovnin ;  Kamasheff  also  had 
retired,  and  the  new  headmaster  was  Upadishevsky.  Our 
old  friend  had  discussed  the  matter  with  the  new  Rector 
and  with  the  inspector,  and  now  informed  us  that  I  might, 
if  my  parents  approved,  be  removed  from  the  list  of 
Government  scholars  and  enter  as  a  pensioner.  This 
would  enable  me  to  live  with  one  of  the  teachers  ;  and  he 
told  us  that  there  were  two  excellent  young  men,  Ivan 
Zapolsky  and  Grigori  Kartashevsky,  both  graduates  of 
Moscow  University,  who  rented  a  large  house  for  their 


A  YEAR  IN  THE  COUNTRY  73 

common  use  and  took  boarders,  whom  they  made  ex- 
ceedingly comfortable  at  a  moderate  charge.  This  news, 
and  especially  the  disappearance  of  Kamasheff ,  gave  much 
pleasure  to  my  parents ;  and,  though  it  was  a  serious 
burden  on  them  to  pay  three  hundred  roubles  a  year  for  me 
and  to  spend  two  hundred  more  on  my  clothes  and  books 
and  attendant,  they  resolved  to  run  into  debt  for  the  sake 
of  my  education.  They  owed  already  2500  roubles — in 
those  days  even  so  small  a  sum  was  considered  "  debt "  ; 
and  they  would  not  have  ventured  to  borrow  more,  but 
for  their  expectations  from  my  father's  aunt,  Praskovya 
Ivanovna.  The  school  term  began  on  the  fifteenth  of 
August,  but  boys  were  entered  a  fortnight  earlier.  So 
it  was  settled  that  we  should  start  for  Kazan  at  the  end 
of  July.  I  accepted  this  decision  calmly  enough,  because 
the  secret  burden  upon  my  mind  had  become  heavier  and 
more  painful.  But,  when  our  preparations  were  completed 
and  the  day  of  departure  fixed,  I  began  to  grieve  so  at 
leaving  Aksakovo,  that  everything  about  it  suddenly 
recovered  in  my  eyes  all,  or  more  than  all,  its  old  precious- 
ness  and  charm.  Feeling  that  I  should  never  see  it  again, 
I  said  goodbye  to  every  building  and  every  spot,  every 
tree  and  bush,  and  I  said  goodbye  with  tears.  I  dis- 
tributed all  my  wealth  :  my  pigeons  I  gave  over  to  our 
cook  Stepan  and  his  son ;  of  my  cat  I  made  a  present  to 
Serge"yevna,  the  wife  of  our  blind  man  of  business, 
Pantelyei  Grig6ritch,  a  capital  hand  at  all  business  and 
learned  in  the  law  ;  my  fishing-tackle  and  traps  I  divided 
among  the  village  boys  ;  while  my  books,  dried  flowers, 
pictures,  and  so  on,  became  the  property  of  my  sister, 
between  whom  and  me  there  had  grown  up  during  this 
year  as  close  a  friendship  as  can  exist  between  a  girl  of 
nine  and  her  brother  of  eleven.  To  part  from  her  was  a 
great  grief  to  me,  and  I  begged  my  mother  to  take  her  with 
us.  My  mother  refused  at  first,  but  gave  way  at  last 
to  my  eager  wish. 

I  ought  to  mention  that  the  new  mill  was  set  going 
a  week  before  we  went  away.  Alas !  the  doubts  of 
Boltunyonok  and  his  mates  were  justified  :  as  they  had 
prophesied,  the  current  was  weaker  than  before,  and  the 
six  pairs  of  stones  were  too  much  for  it ;  even  when  a 


74  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

single  pair  was  used,  the  mill  worked  much  worse  than  the 
old  one.  My  father  could  believe  no  longer  in  Krasnoff's 
skill :  he  turned  the  man  off,  and  charged  the  old  miller 
to  mend  matters  as  best  he  could. 

At  last,  on  the  26th  of  July,  the  same  roomy  carriage  as 
before,  with  the  same  coachman  and  postillion  and  drawn 
by  the  same  six  horses,  was  standing  by  the  front  steps  ; 
and  the  same  crowd  of  indoor  and  outdoor  servants 
collected  to  see  us  off.  My  father  and  mother,  with  my 
sister  and  me  and  Parasha,  took  their  places  in  the  coach  ; 
Yevseitch  took  his  seat  on  the  box  and  Theodor  on  the 
rumble  ;  and  we  started  slowly  from  the  house,  leaving 
behind  us  on  the  steps  my  aunt  Tatyana,  my  brother  with 
his  nurse,  and  my  younger  sister  in  the  arms  of  her  foster- 
mother.  Our  road  went  for  some  distance  along  the  pond, 
over  which  flocks  of  white  and  pied  sea-gulls  were  already 
flitting.  How  I  envied  each  village  boy  !  He  was  not 
obliged  to  go  off  anywhere,  or  to  part  with  any  person  or 
thing  ;  he  was  staying  at  home,  with  full  power  to  sit  where 
he  liked  on  the  dam  with  his  fishing-rod,  and  angle  for 
perch  and  roach  under  the  close  shade  of  the  alders,  with 
never  a  care  in  his  head.  He  was  left  in  undisturbed  and 
undisputed  possession  of  the  pond,  which,  because  it  had 
been  emptied  so  late  in  spring,  was  free  this  year  from  the 
growth  of  weed  and  rushes.  For  want  of  exercise,  our 
horses  were  hot  and  restless,  but  the  strong  and  practised 
arms  of  the  coachman  controlled  them  and  forced  them 
to  keep  to  a  walk  for  a  long  time.  Inside  the  carriage, 
we  all  seemed  sad,  and  no  one  spoke.  I  pushed  my 
head  out  of  the  window  and  watched  my  dear  Aksakovo 
until  it  disappeared  from  my  sight ;  and  silent  tears 
flowed  down  my  cheeks. 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  75 


CHAPTER  III 
MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL 

ON  our  arrival  at  Kazan  in  the  summer  of  1801,  instead 
of  staying  as  before  with  Mme  Aristoff,  we  took  somewhat 
better  lodgings.  I  forget  the  name  of  the  street,  but  I 
remember  that  we  occupied  the  whole  of  a  small  detached 
house  which  belonged,  I  think,  to  a  M.  Chortoff.  Upadi- 
shevsky  came  at  once  to  see  us,  and  this  friend  and  bene- 
factor was  greeted  by  us  all  as  a  near  kinsman.  He  told 
us  that  Yakovnin  was  still  performing  the  duties  of  Rector, 
but  that  reports  were  going  about  the  town,  to  the  effect 
that  M.  Likhachoff,  a  rich  landowner  of  the  district,  would 
soon  be  appointed  to  the  post.  This  was  a  good  oppor- 
tunity, he  said,  to  enter  me  as  a  pensioner  at  the  school ; 
for,  though  Yakovnin  and  all  the  Governors  had  given  their 
consent,  the  future  Rector  might  take  a  different  view  of 
the  matter  and  prove  obstinate.  Upadishevsky  was  warm 
in  his  praise  of  two  of  the  senipr  teachers,  Ivan  Zapolsky 
and  Grigori  Kartashevsky ; 1  ^bhe  first  taught  Physics 
and  the  second  Pure  Mathematics,  and  both  had  come 
to  the  school  some  time  before  from  Moscow  University. 
He  spoke  highly  of  their  intelligence,  learning,  and  regular 
habits.  The  two  were  friends  and  lived  together  in  a  fine 
stone  house,  where  they  took  seven  boarders,  all  pensioners 
at  the  school  ;  the  board  and  lodging  was  very  good,  and 
much  attention  was  paid  to  the  boys'  progress  in  their 
school  work.  It  was  not  their  intention  to  take  more 
boarders,  but  Upadishevsky  had  told  them  about  me,  and 
had  given  such  a  glowing  account  of  the  whole  family, 
that  the  young  men,  unable  to  resist  his  entreaties,  had 

'  Kartashevsky  and  Aksakoff,  the  tutor  and  the  pupil,  both  married 
in  1816,  within  one  month  of  each  other ;  and  Kartashevsky's  bride  was 
Nadyezhda  Aksakoff,  the  sister  of  whom  the  author  speaks  so  often  and 
with  such  affection.  Kartashevsky  died  in  1840  at  Petersburg. 


76  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

agreed  to  make  an  exception  in  my  mother's  favour  and 
to  include  me  among  their  pupils. 

My  father  took  me  to  call  on  the  acting  Rector,  and 
got  permission  for  me  to  enter  as  a  pensioner ;    we  next 
called  on  the  two  young  masters  and  met  with  a  friendly 
reception  in  each  place.     Kartashevsky  explained  that 
they  divided  the  pupils  between  them,  and  that  the  three 
oldest  boys,  who  were  under  his  immediate  supervision, 
would  complete  the  school  course  within  the  year  and  go 
away  to  enter  the  Civil  Service.     As  it  was  his  intention  to 
set  up  house  for  himself  after  that,  and  take  no  more 
pupils,  he  said  that  I  ought  to  apply  to  his  friend  and 
colleague,  Zapolsky.     To  my  father  it  was  all  one,  which 
of  them  took  me  ;   but  he  pressed  both  the  young  men  to 
come  and  make  the  acquaintance  of  my  mother.     They 
came  next  day,  and  my  mother,  whenever  she  saw  him, 
formed  a  very  favourable  impression  of  Kartashevsky, 
and  much  regretted  that  I  was  not  to  be  under  him.     But 
my  father  and  I  much  preferred  Zapolsky  :   he  seemed  to 
us  more  cordial  and  friendly  and  sociable  than  his  solemn 
colleague.     All    my    mother's    friendly  expostulations — 
that  the  two  friends,  instead  of  parting,  ought  to  live 
together  and  help  one  another  in  the  performance  of  such 
sacred   duties,    were   ineffectual :     Kartashevsky  replied 
very  firmly,  that  he  found  this  duty  too  serious  and  too 
absorbing;  that  to  be  responsible  for  the  education  of 
young  people  was  a  burden  he  could  not  discharge  to  his 
own  satisfaction,  even  if  the  parents  were  satisfied  ;    and 
that  his  study  of  science,  in  which  he  was  still  a  learner, 
was  hindered  by  such  ties.     His  reply  was  so  positive  that 
any  attempt  to  continue  the  discussion  would  have  been 
useless  and  awkward  as  well.     When  the  two  young  men 
left  us,  my  mother  expressed  her  disappointment  with 
her  usual  vivacity.     She  was  always  too  much  carried 
away  by  her  instinctive  feelings,  and  now  she  praised  to 
the  skies  the  merits  of  Kartashevsky  wtyje  she  found  many 
defects  in   his   colleague.     The   sequel-  proved  that  my 
mother's  eager  enthusiasm  was  not  at  fault.     For,  though 
Zapolsky  was  quite  a  "  good  "  man,  in  the  ordinary  sense 
of  that  word,  the  other  belonged  to  a  select  class  among 
mankind — those  who  have  an  exceptionally  high  standard 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  77 

of  duty  and  spend  all  their  lives  in  rigid  observation  of  that 
standard.  But  I  was  delighted  to  think  that  the  good- 
natured  Zapolsky  was  to  be  my  tutor,  and  that  I  was  to 
live,  not  with  the  big  boys  who  had  quarters  of  their  own, 
but  with  my  equals  in  age,  lively  and  good-natured  boys 
like  myself.  Thanks  to  the  interest  taken  by  Upadishevsky, 
all  our  business  was  settled  without  difficulties  of  any  kind  ; 
and  within  a  month  my  parents  and  my  sister  went  back 
to  Aksakovo.  But  during  this  month  Kartashevsky, 
though  he  passed  for  a  confirmed  recluse,  paid  us  many 
visits ;  he  could  appreciate  my  mother,  and  a  lasting 
friendship  was  formed  between  them,  a  friendship  founded 
on  mutual  respect  and  tested  in  the  course  of  time  by 
many  events  of  importance. 

This  second  parting  from  my  mother  did  not  cost  me 
anything  like  the  pain  and  misery  which  had  accompanied 
our  former  separation.  I  noticed  the  difference  in  myself 
especially ;  and,  young  as  I  was,  I  was  impressed  by  it 
and  had  some  regretful  thoughts.  But  before  long  the 
new  life  absorbed  all  my  attention.  I  occupied  a  room 
with  three  brothers  called  Manassein,  and  we  became 
good  friends  at  once  ;  a  small  room  near  ours  was  occupied 
by  a  single  tenant,  a  boy  called  A.  He  was  very  rich,  and 
I  think  he  was  the  only  son  of  his  mother,  a  widow.  In 
spite  of  his  wealth,  which  was  obvious  from  his  clothes  and 
bedding  and  all  his  belongings,  he  was  not  at  all  generous. 
He  kept  a  large  iron-bound  chest  in  his  room  and  always 
carried  the  key  in  his  pocket.  This  chest  excited  general 
curiosity,  and  my  schoolfellows  believed  that  its  contents 
were  very  valuable  and  precious. 

At  last  I  set  eyes  again  on  the  school  buildings  which  I 
had  once  feared  and  hated ;  and  I  was  much  pleased  to 
find  that  the  sight  did  not  produce  in  me  either  fear  or 
any  unpleasant  feeling.  I  was  placed  in  the  Junior  Class 
as  before.  Most  of  my  former  companions  had  been 
promoted  to  the  Middle  Form,  and  their  places  were  filled 
by  new  boys,  less  well  prepared  than  I  had  been,  while 
those  who  had  failed  to  get  their  remove  were  either 
idle  or  stupid.  Hence  in  a  very  short  time  I  was  top  of 
the  form  in  all  subjects  except  in  the  Catechism  and 
Outlines  of  Sacred  History.  The  priest  continued  to  keep 


78  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

up  a  sort  of  ill-will  against  me,  though  I  always  knew  my 
lessons  for  him  very  accurately.  This  fact  seems  worth 
noting  :  when  Upadishevsky  asked  him  later,  why  Aksa- 
koff,  who  worked  very  hard  at  other  subjects,  was  not  at 
the  top  with  him,  and  added,  "  I  suppose  he  does  not 
know  his  lessons  "  — "  No  "  said  the  priest ;  "his  work  is 
very  well  done,  but  he  has  no  liking  for  the  Catechism 
and  Sacred  History." 

The  course  of  a  few  months  dispersed  the  last  traces  of 
home-sickness  and  longing  for  the  freedom  of  the  country  : 
by  degrees  I  became  accustomed  to  school-life,  made  some 
real  friends  among  the  boys,  and  became  fond  of  the 
school.  This  change  of  feeling  was  largely  due  to  the  fact 
that  I  did  not  live  in  the  school  and  only  went  there  for 
lessons.  Life  in  my  tutor's  house  was  not  so  entirely  un- 
like my  life  at  home  as  my  former  condition,  when  I  was 
shut  up  permanently  in  a  Government  institution  and 
surrounded  by  a  number  of  companions  of  all  classes. 

At  first  A.  avoided  intercourse  with  me  and  the 
Manasseins,  and  indeed  with  all  the  boys ;  but,  when  he 
noticed  how  quiet  and  peaceable  I  was,  he  began  to  talk 
to  me  and  invite  me  to  his  room ;  he  went  so  far  as  to 
treat  me  to  some  of  the  dainties  from  home  which  he 
generally  devoured  in  secrecy.  At  last  he  offered  to  show 
me  his  chest,  but  it  must,  he  said,  be  done  in  such  a  way 
that  no  one  else  should  know  of  it.  My  imagination, 
full  of  fairy  tales,  pictured  this  receptacle  as  full  of 
precious  stones  or  ingots  of  gold  and  silver ;  and  I  was 
delighted.  It  was  arranged  that  I  should  come  to  his 
room  when  all  were  asleep  ;  and  I  did  so  that  same  evening. 
The  Manasseins  did  not  keep  me  long  waiting,  for  they 
soon  began  to  snore  ;  and  I  went  off  to  A.'s  room,  where 
there  was  always  a  lamp  burning  at  night  before  a  large 
sacred  picture  in  a  rich  gilt  frame.  When  he  had  lit  a 
candle  and  locked  the  door,  he  made  me  promise  to  tell 
no  one  of  what  I  was  about  to  see,  and  then  carefully 
unlocked  the  mysterious  chest.  But  a  great  surprise 
awaited  me.  It  turned  out  that  the  chest  was  packed  full 
of  inferior  pictures  !  There  were  engravings  and  drawings, 
landscapes  and  portraits  in  oil,  the  latter  like  the  signs 
displayed  over  barbers'  shops.  Though  I  was  a  lover  of 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  79 

pictures  myself,  I  paid  no  attention  to  them  now,  because 
I  was  expecting  something  entirely  different ;  and  I  was 
hoping  all  the  time  that  the  real  treasure  would  be  revealed 
at  the  bottom  of  the  chest ;  so,  when  the  last  sheets  had 
been  taken  out  and  the  bare  boards  met  my  eyes,  I  could 
not  help  calling  out,  "  Is  that  all  ?  "  This  was  a  terrible 
disappointment  to  A.,  who  expected  me  to  be  surprised 
and  delighted.  Talking  in  a  whisper,  I  frankly  confessed 
the  belief  which  we  all  entertained  about  his  chest.  "  You 
are  a  pack  of  fools,"  said  A.  angrily,  and  he  almost  turned 
me  out  of  the  room  ;  and  that  was  the  end  of  our  boyish 
friendship.  Some  time  later,  I  broke  my  promise  and 
disclosed  the  contents  of  the  chest  to  the  Manassein  boys  ; 
and  we  looked  several  times  through  the  chinks  in  the 
locked  door  and  watched  A.,  while  he  spread  out  his  pictures 
on  the  bed  and  tables  and  chairs,  and  even  on  the  floor. 
He  looked  at  them,  dusted  them,  and  admired  them,  as 
Pushkin's  Avaricious  Knight  gloated  over  his  treasures ; 
he  gave  himself  up  to  this  pleasure  almost  every  night 
for  whole  hours.  We  began  to  make  fun  of  him,  and 
spread  in  the  school  the  story  of  his  passion  for  pictures  ; 
and  soon  he  was  pestered  by  mischievous  boys  who  called 
upon  him  to  share  his  riches  with  others,  and  to  let  them 
see  "  The  Mice  burying  the  Cat,"  or  "  Yeruslan  defeating 
a  Horde  of  Unbelievers."  A.  abused  them  in  his  wrath, 
and  even  used  his  fists  ;  but  nothing  would  stop  them. 
At  last  he  became  so  weary  of  this,  that  he  wrote  to  his 
mother,  and  she  soon  took  him  away  from  the  school  for 
good.  Of  course,  there  may  have  been  other  reasons  as 
well  for  his  removal.  Not  long  ago  I  heard  that  A.  was 
very  eccentric  in  later  life  also  ;  but  that  does  not  pre- 
vent him  from  enjoying  a  high  reputation  for  the  practical 
management  of  his  land. 

During  the  first  few  months  after  my  entrance, 
Zapolsky  gave  a  certain  amount  of  attention  to  me  and  his 
other  pupils.  He  asked  us  beforehand  about  the  lessons 
set  for  us  to  learn,  and  he  taught  us  some  French  and 
German  ;  and  that  was  all.  But  he  gradually  ceased  to 
pay  us  any  attention  at  all,  and  began  to  absent  himself, 
though  we  did  not  know  where  he  went.  To  tell  the  truth, 
our  studies  profited  by  his  absences,  because  Kartashevsky 


80  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

took  us  in  hand  at  such  times,  and  he  taught  us,  as  I  could 
see  very  well,  much  more  carefully  and  much  better  than 
his  colleague.  At  last  Yevs&tch  told  me  in  confidence 
that  Zapolsky  was  courting  a  young  lady  of  good  family 
and  possessed  of  some  means  ;  that  she  herself  and  her 
mother  were  favourable  to  his  views  ;  but  her  father  was 
unwilling  to  give  her  hand  to  a  teacher,  who  had  no  money 
and  was  also  the  son  of  a  priest.  This  information  turned 
out  to  be  quite  accurate. 

As  was  expected,  M.  Likhachoff  was  appointed  Rector  ; 
but  the  boys  in  boarding-houses  did  not  even  know  him 
by  sight  for.  a  long  time,  because  he  commonly  visited  the 
school  at  the  dinner-hour  and  never  even  looked  into  the 
class-rooms.  I  learnt  my  lessons  and  drove  or  walked  to 
the  school  very  cheerfully.  I  do  not  know  whether  my 
present  companions  were  different  or  if  the  difference  was 
in  myself — anyhow,  I  felt  nothing  of  the  teasing  and 
bullying  which  I  had  found  so  unbearable  before  ;  I  found 
common  interests  with  others,  and  a  desire  sprang  up 
within  me  for  social  intercourse  with  them,  so  that  I  began 
to  look  forward  impatiently  to  school-hours.  I  ought  to 
add  that  most  of  my  time  at  the  school  was  spent  in  form, 
where  my  vanity  was  constantly  flattered  by  the  approval 
of  the  teachers  and  a  certain  measure  of  respect  on  the 
part  of  my  school-fellows  ;  but  this  last  did  not  prevent 
me  from  joining  their  noisy  games  during  all  our  free  time 
and  on  every  suitable  occasion.  I  wrote  home  every  week, 
and  every  week  I  received  very  affectionate  letters  from 
my  mother,  to  which  my  father  sometimes  added  a  post- 
script. My  mother  assured  me  that  she  was  not  grieving 
over  our  separation,  and  that  she  was  glad  to  get  from 
Zapolsky  and  Upadishevsky  such  good  accounts  of  my 
conduct  and  diligence.  When  she  said  that  she  was  not 
grieving,  I  believed  her.  In  every  letter  she  sent  her 
kind  regards  to  Zapolsky  and  Kartashevsky,  and  from 
time  to  time  corresponded  with  them  herself.  And  so 
things  went  on  for  nearly  a  year — till  June  of  1802.  The 
examinations  took  place  in  June,  and  they  resulted  in  a 
complete  triumph  for  my  youthful  vanity  :  I  was  pro- 
moted to  the  Middle  Form  in  all  subjects.  At  our  Speech- 
day,  which  was  at  the  beginning  of  July,  I  received  a 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  81 

prize  with  a  gilt  inscription  on  the  boards — "  For  diligence 
and  proficiency  "  ;  I  also  got  a  Certificate  of  Merit. 

A  plain  covered  cart  and  three  horses  with  a  coachman 
had  been  sent  for  me  from  home  some  time  before ;  and 
after  dinner  on  Speech-day  I  set  off  with  Yevseitch  for 
our  dear  Aksakovo.  We  travelled  along  the  same  road 
as  two  years  before,  when  my  mother  carried  me  off  in 
triumph  from  my  prison,  and  we  halted  at  the  same  places 
for  food  and  sleep.  The  breath  of  nature  soon  penetrated 
my  being,  driving  out  of  my  head  all  thoughts  of  school, 
of  boys  and  masters,  books  and  lessons.  After  a  period 
of  apparent  forgetfulness  or  indifference,  I  fell  in  love  with 
the  beauties  of  God's  world  more  fervently  than  ever  and 
more  consciously.  At  home,  all  my  family  greeted  me 
with  tender  love,  and  my  mother's  happiness  it  is  im- 
possible to  describe.  My  sister  had  grown  much  taller  and 
much  prettier  in  the  course  of  the  year,  and  she  was 
delighted  to  see  her  brother  again.  How  many  questions 
there  were  to  ask,  how  many  stories  to  tell !  She  told 
me  for  one  thing  that  my  mother  had  made  herself  quite 
ill  by  her  grief  at  parting  from  me  ;  and  I  felt  a  kind  of 
pain  to  think  that  I  had  suffered  so  little  this  time  from 
the  separation. 

All  the  days  which  I  spent  at  Aksakovo  during  those 
holidays  melt  in  my  memory  into  one  happy  day  of 
splendid  weather ;  I  could  not,  if  I  wished,  tell  what  I 
did — I  only  know  that  I  enjoyed  myself  from  morning 
till  night.  In  the  swarm  of  my  pleasures,  fishing,  bathing, 
and  hawking  are  the  most  prominent.  My  mother  made 
me  repeat  every  trifling  detail  of  my  life  at  school  during 
the  year,  and,  as  I  went  on,  she  said  again  and  again  to 
my  father  :  "  You  see,  Alexyei  Stepanitch,  I  was  not 
mistaken  about  Kartashevsky.  He  is  as  far  above 
Zapolsky  as  the  sky  above  the  earth  ;  he  is  the  man  whom 
I  should  like  to  have  for  Seryozha's  tutor,  and  I  shall  use 
every  effort  to  bring  that  about."  She  was  confirmed  in 
this  purpose  by  what  Yevseitch  told  her ;  and  I  myself 
understood  the  importance  of  the  change  and  wished  it 
to  be  made.  My  mother  was  attracted  chiefly  by  the  high 
standards  and  strict  principles  of  Kartashevsky. 

From  my  sister  I  hardly  ever  parted  at  this  time :  our 

F 


82  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

friendship  became  even  closer  and  more  tender.  But  the 
happy  days  flew  by  on  wings  ;  and  on  the  10th  of  August, 
the  same  covered  cart  with  the  same  horses  and  the  same 
coachman  carried  me  off  with  Yevseitch  on  our  way  to 
Kazan. 

On  my  arrival  I  found  all  the  boys  had  returned.  But 
Zapolsky  was  absent,  and  we  were  told  that  he  had  gone 
off  to  be  married  to  Nastasya  Yelagin,  the  young  lady 
whom  he  had  been  courting.  After  their  honeymoon,  the 
young  pair  would  come  to  Kazan  and  receive  us  in  a  house 
of  their  own  which  they  intended  to  take  ;  Kartashevsky 
would  look  after  us  till  then.  I  was  delighted  by  this 
prospect,  but  the  Manasseln  boys  were  not,  especially  the 
youngest  brother,  Elpidifor,  a  fine  boy  but  very  mischievous 
and  idle  then,  though  the  mischievous  boy  grew  up  to  be 
an  active  and  useful  man. 

I  remember  very  well  the  eager  anxiety  to  learn  with 
which  I  entered  the  Middle  Form.  I  knew  beforehand 
that  the  lessons  there  were  more  difficult,  and  that  this 
form  was  considered  to  be  the  critical  stage  of  a  boy's 
school  career.  It  was  generally  believed  that  a  scholar 
who  distinguished  himself  there  was  sure  to  earn  dis- 
tinction also  in  the  Senior  Class,  whereas  it  often  happened 
that  the  top  boys  in  the  Junior  Class  never  did  very  much 
in  the  Middle  Form.1  This  belief  alarmed  me;  and  my 
fears  were  not  dispelled  during  the  whole  of  the  first  month. 
The  teachers  were  different,  and  we  were  strangers  to  them. 
The  boys  who  had  been  promoted  sat  all  by  themselves 
on  two  separate  benches,  and  little  attention  was  paid  to 
them  at  first  by  the  teachers.  Owing  to  the  difficulty  of 
the  work,  most  boys  spent  two  years  in  this  form ;  hence 
the  classes  were  so  large  that  it  was  physically  impossible 
for  the  teacher  to  give  equal  attention  to  us  all.  One  of 
the  subjects  taught  in  this  form  was  Slavonic  Grammar 
together  with  Russian ;  and  the  text-book  we  used  was 
written  by  our  teacher  of  the  subject,  Nikolai  Ibrahimoff, 
a  graduate  of  Moscow  University.  He  taught  Russian 
literature  and  mathematics  in  the  same  form.  His  sur- 

1  It  is  obvious  that  three  forms  were  too  few.  When  this  was  proved 
by  experience,  grammar-schools  were  divided  into  seven  classes. 
(Author's  Note.) 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  83 

name  and  his  appearance  alike  clearly  betrayed  his 
Tatar  or  Bashkir  origin  :  his  head  was  large,  his  eyes 
small  and  piercing,  with  a  very  pleasant  expression ;  he 
had  prominent  cheek-bones  and  a  huge  mouth.  This  man 
had  a  great  influence  on  my  literary  development,  and  his 
memory  is  dear  to  me.  He  first  encouraged  me  and  gave 
me  what  I  may  call  a  push  in  the  right  direction.  He  used 
to  dictate  from  his  Slavonic  Grammar,  for  the  benefit  of 
those  who  had  not  heard  the  work  explained  or  did  not 
possess  a  copy  of  it.  The  custom  was  for  one  pupil  to 
write  on  the  board  at  his  dictation,  while  the  rest  copied 
down  what  was  dictated.  Ibrahimoff's  explanations  were 
not  sufficiently  detailed  and  not  quite  clear  ;  his  comments, 
though  they  did  well  enough  for  those  who  were  going 
through  the  grammar  a  second  time,  were  not  enough  for 
the  new  boys  and  especially  for  those  who  like  myself  and 
many  others  were  only  twelve  years  old.  But  fortunately, 
owing  to  Zapolsky's  absence,  Kartashevsky  was  super- 
vising my  preparation  at  this  time  ;  and  he  explained  to 
me  the  Introduction  to  Slavonic  Grammar,  which  contained 
a  view  of  grammar  in  general.  Without  his  explanations 
I  should  have  understood  as  little  of  this  Introduction  as 
the  other  boys  did.  I  possessed  already  a  complete  manu- 
script copy  of  the  Slavonic  Grammar,  and  I  read  this 
through  on  Sundays,  asking  my  tutor  to  explain  points  that 
were  dark  to  me  ;  and  this  practice  proved  of  no  small 
service  to  me  afterwards. 

At  the  end  of  September,  six  weeks  after  the  term  had 
begun,  Ibrahimoff  changed  his  method.  The  little  Tatar 
figure,  after  walking  once  or  twice  along  the  whole  row, 
book  in  hand,  instead  of  dictating  as  usual,  suddenly  drew 
near  to  the  benches  where  the  new  boys  sat  by  themselves. 
My  heart  began  to  beat  hard.  He  first  put  questions  to 
all  the  boys  who  had  been  promoted  from  the  lower  form, 
taking  the  questions  from  the  Introduction  and  first  two 
chapters  of  the  Grammar  which  we  had  already  gone 
through,  and  examining  us  according  to  the  order  in  which 
we  sat.  The  order  was  as  follows :  first  came  the 
Government  scholars,  then  the  exhibitioners,  and  lastly 
the  pensioners.  Questions  upon  the  Grammar  were  fairly 
well  answered ;  but  of  the  Introduction  no  one  knew 


84  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

anything  at  all — a  clear  proof  that  they  did  not  understand 
it.  At  last  my  turn  came.  I  answered  questions  on  the 
Grammar  readily  and  satisfactorily,  and  Ibrahimoff  said, 
"  Good  !  "  after  each  answer.  He  began  to  get  interested, 
and  asked  me  twelve  questions  instead  of  the  usual  three 
or  four ;  and  I  answered  them  all  with  equal  success. 
The  big  Tatar  mouth  stretched  its  widest,  as  Ibrahimoff 
smiled  again  and  again  ;  and  at  last  he  said  :  "  Very  good 
indeed  !  Now  let  us  see  what  you  can  make  of  the 
Introduction."  My  answers  were  no  less  satisfactory  than 
before.  Then  he  tried  to  puzzle  me  but  failed,  because 
I  really  understood  the  subject  and  was  not  merely  repeat- 
ing words  which  I  had  learnt  by  rote.  Ibrahimoff  was 
surprised  and  delighted  beyond  measure.  He  showered 
compliments  upon  me ;  then  he  made  me  stand  up  and 
collect  all  my  class-books,  and  led  me  by  the  hand  to  the 
top  desk.  "  That  is  your  place,"  he  said,  and  made  me 
sit  third  in  a  class  of  more  than  forty  boys.  Such  a 
triumph  I  had  never  even  dreamed  of,  and  I  was  perfectly 
happy.  On  returning  home,  I  sent  Yevseitch  to  ask 
Kartashevsky  if  I  might  come  to  his  room ;  and,  when 
leave  was  granted,  I  told  him  with  great  joy  what  had 
happened  to  me.  Though  he  was  in  reality  much  pleased 
both  by  my  success  and  the  spirit  in  which  I  took  it,  yet 
he  answered  dryly  enough,  as  his  system  required  :  "  Don't 
be  too  happy  over  it ;  possibly  Ibrahimoff  was  in  too 
much  of  a  hurry.  You  are  bound  now  to  work  still 
harder  and  confirm  his  good  opinion."  Such  an  answer 
might  have  discouraged  or  repelled  many  boys — and  I 
decidedly  disapprove  of  such  a  method  myself — but  I 
understood  Kartashevsky  already.  Before  this  he  had 
praised  me  highly  in  letters  to  my  mother  without  letting 
me  see  that  he  was  pleased  with  me ;  he  even  asked  her 
not  to  show  me  his  letters. 

Russian  Literature  was  another  subject  taught  by 
Ibrahimoff,  and  my  success  in  this  was  no  less  pronounced  ; 
he  taught  the  syntax  of  the  Russian  language  and  made  us 
write  exercises,  consisting  partly  in  dictation  and  partly 
in  turning  passages  of  verse  into  prose.  The  dictation 
was  very  good  for  us,  not  only  as  practice  in  writing,  but 
because  it  helped  to  form  our  taste  ;  for  Ibrahimoff  used 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  85 

to  choose  the  best  passages  from  Karamzin,  Dmitrieff, 
Lomonossoff,  and  Kheraskoff,  which  he  made  us  read 
aloud,  and  then  explained  their  literary  merit.  To 
paraphrase  of  verse  he  did  not  himself  attach  much  value 
and  only  made  us  do  it  occasionally,  merely  because  it 
was  one  of  the  prescribed  subjects.  He  preferred  to  give 
us  practice  in  the  writing  of  short  compositions  upon 
subjects  which  he  set  himself.  As  to  other  subjects — in 
general  history,  Russian  history,  and  geography,  which  we 
did  with  Yakovnin,  I  did  well,  but  was  not  one  of  the  best. 
In  languages  generally,  the  standard  attained  was  not  high, 
and  this  was  certainly  due  to  bad  teaching.  In  arith- 
metic, I  was  weak  even  in  the  Junior  Class  ;  and  in 
the  Middle  Form  it  became  clear  that  I  was  quite  unable 
to  learn  mathematics ;  and  this  reputation  I  kept  at  the 
University  as  well  as  at  school.  In  writing,  drawing,  and 
dancing,  I  got  on  well  enough.  In  my  lessons  with  the 
priest  I  did  well  but  not  very  well.  While  in  this  form  I 
ceased  to  use  a  slate,  which  was  then,  and  still  is  to  some 
extent,  a  pet  aversion  with  me  :  the  squeaking  of  a  slate 
pencil  upon  a  slate  grates  on  my  nerves  now  as  it  used  to 
do  then. 

At  last  we  heard  that  Zapolsky  had  brought  his  bride 
back  to  Kazan  and  was  staying  at  his  mother-in-law's 
house.  He  came  next  day  to  see  his  pupils  and  was 
exceedingly  cordial  to  us.  Yevse"itch  told  me  in  confi- 
dence that  Kartashevsky  was  very  angry  with  his  colleague 
for  prolonging  his  absence  from  one  month  to  three,  and 
said,  "  I  am  quite  tired  of  bothering  about  these  brats, 
but  I  cannot  leave  them  as  you  do  without  supervision 
and  attention."  Zapolsky  apologised,  thanked  him  for 
what  he  had  done,  and  tried  to  embrace  him  ;  but  his 
friend  treated  him  very  sternly  and  roughly,  threatening 
to  leave  the  house  and  give  up  the  care  of  the  boys,  unless 
the  young  pair  set  up  an  establishment  of  their  own 
without  delay.  I  should  add  that  Kartashevsky  had 
now  ceased  to  have  any  pupils  of  his  own.  In  spite  of 
these  threats,  it  was  some  time  before  Zapolsky  took  any 
lodgings,  and  Kartashevsky  lived  on  in  our  house  two 
months  longer,  attending  steadily  and  scrupulously  to  our 
comfort  and  conduct  and  supervising  our  studies.  During 


86  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

these  five  months  I  became  much  attached  to  him,  though 
he  never  once  spoke  affectionately  to  me  and  never 
dropped  the  appearance  of  dryness  and  severity.  I  was 
too  young  to  appreciate  his  real  worth,  and  I  could  not 
have  got  to  care  for  him,  if  my  mother  had  not  secretly 
informed  me  that  he  really  loved  me  and  praised  me 
highly,  though  he  concealed  his  feelings,  fearing  that 
his  praise  might  be  injurious  to  so  young  a  boy.  Karta- 
shevsky  in  his  long  and  useful  career  held  important 
posts  where  he  had  to  associate,  not  with  children  only 
but  with  men  advanced  in  years ;  yet  he  never  aban- 
doned this  mistaken  principle,  and  the  result  was  un- 
fortunate. Those  whom  circumstances  enabled  to  know 
him  intimately,  kept  through  life  a  deep  respect  and 
devotion  to  him ;  but,  on  the  other  hand,  many  good 
people  were  repelled  by  the  well-meant  dryness  of  his 
manner,  and  believed  him,  quite  unjustly,  to  be  proud  and 
unfeeling. 

Zapolsky  did  at  last  take  suitable  lodgings,  and  we  all 
went  to  live  there.  I  shed  tears  on  parting  with  Karta- 
shevsky  and  would  have  embraced  him ;  but  he  would 
not  allow  it,  and,  though  I  found  out  later  from  a  letter 
he  wrote  to  my  mother  that  he  was  very  near  weeping 
himself,  he  said  dryly  and  coldly  :  "  What  is  all  this 
about  ?  what  are  you  crying  for  ?  I  suppose  you  are 
afraid  that  Zapolsky  will  be  stricter  with  you."  I  admit 
that  I  was  hurt  by  such  words  at  such  a  moment. 

I  forgot  to  say  that  Zapolsky  brought  his  bride  to  see 
us ;  all  we  noticed  was  that  she  had  no  eyebrows  and 
never  stopped  blushing ;  and  she  was  so  simple  that  she 
was  unable  to  say  a  word  of  greeting  to  the  boys.  In 
the  new  house  the  Manass6in  boys  and  I  occupied  a  wing 
by  ourselves.  We  were  left  entirely  to  our  own  devices, 
and  I  now  realised  the  wide  difference  between  our  present 
tutor  and  his  predecessor.  The  former  we  never  saw 
except  at  dinner  and  supper :  the  young  husband  was 
completely  taken  up  either  with  the  arrangements  required 
by  his  change  of  condition,  or  with  the  management  of  a 
small  property  of  sixty  serfs  which  had  come  to  him  as  his 
wife's  dowry ;  the  property  was  twenty  versis  from 
Kazan,  and  he  went  there  for  two  days  every  week.  The 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  87 

rest  of  his  time  was  spent  in  teaching  physics  to  the 
Senior  Class,  or  in  attending  to  his  wife's  family ;  three 
of  her  sisters  were  grown-up,  and  they  were  regular 
inmates  of  his  household.  Yet  no  one  attended  to  the 
management  of  the  house,  and  it  was  very  badly  done. 
Even  our  food  was  wretched,  and  thus  I  got  involved  in  a 
scrape  which  I  must  describe. 

We  always  had  supper  in  the  large  house  at  a  common 
table ;  and  one  evening  there  was  ham  for  supper.  I 
cut  off  a  piece  and  was  just  going  to  put  it  into  my  mouth, 
when  Yevse"itch,  who  was  standing  at  the  back  of  my 
chair,  nudged  me  from  behind.  I  turned  round  and 
stared  at  him  in  surprise  ;  he  shook  his  head  and  winked 
at  me,  meaning  that  I  was  not  to  eat  the  ham.  So  I  laid 
the  piece  of  ham  down  on  the  plate,  and  noticed  for  the 
first  time  that  the  meat  was  bad,  actually  crawling ;  I 
gave  up  my  plate  as  quickly  as  I  could.  I  was  sitting 
quite  close  to  Zapolsky,  and  he  saw  all  that  had  happened. 
I  should  add  that  his  wife,  with  her  mother  and  three 
sisters,  was  sitting  at  table,  as  well  as  the  boys.  When 
supper  was  over  and  we  all  went  to  Zapolsky  to  say 
goodnight  before  going  to  bed,  he  told  me  to  stay,  and  took 
me  and  Yevs&tch  off  to  his  study.  There  he  rebuked  me 
with  great  severity  for  impertinent  behaviour ;  he  said 
that,  on  purpose  to  disgrace  him,  I  had  directed  the 
attention  of  all  the  party  to  the  spoilt  ham,  though  every 
one  else  had  eaten  it,  out  of  politeness.  After  reading 
me  a  long  lecture  and  proving  that  I  had  committed  an 
unpardonable  crime,  he  next  abused  my  worthy  Yevs6itch 
in  most  insulting  terms.  Not  understanding  in  the 
least  how  I  was  to  blame,  I  began  to  cry,  from  a  sense  of 
undeserved  insult.  This  softened  Zapolsky' s  heart :  he 
said  that  he  forgave  me ;  he  even  wished  to  embrace 
me,  but  I  said  very  frankly,  that  I  was  not  crying  because 
I  was  sorry  for  what  I  had  done,  but  because  he  had 
wronged  me  by  suspecting  me  unjustly  of  a  bad  intention, 
and  because  he  had  abused  Yevseitch.  He  got  very  angry 
again  :  he  actually  said  that  I  was  a  hardened  sinner  and 
should  suffer  exemplary  punishment  the  next  day.  Then 
he  let  me  go  to  bed. 

But  it  was  long  before  I  fell  asleep  :   the  thought  that 


88  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

a  comparative  stranger  intended  to  inflict  corporal 
punishment  on  me  for  no  fault  of  mine,  wounded  and 
irritated  my  feelings  excessively.  Never  within  my 
recollection  had  any  one  laid  a  hand  upon  me,  except  my 
mother ;  and  even  that  was  an  old  story.  At  last  I  fell 
asleep.  Next  morning  we  dressed  and  went  across  to 
the  house  for  our  tea.  Zapolsky,  contrary  to  custom, 
joined  us  there,  and  explained  my  crime  to  the  Manassein 
boys  and  Yelagin,  his  brother-in-law,  who  had  joined  the 
school  a  fortnight  before.  Then  they  were  sent  off  to 
school ;  but  I  was  sentenced  to  be  deprived  of  tea,  and 
kept  out  of  school.  I  was  to  go  back  to  our  wing,  undress, 
and  go  to  bed  ;  and  there  I  was  to  stay  till  evening,  with 
a  slice  of  bread  and  a  glass  of  water  for  lunch  and  dinner. 
A  punishment  so  silly  and  so  entirely  undeserved  was 
bound  to  seem,  and  did  seem,  an  unbearable  insult  to  a 
boy  as  sensitive  and  precocious  as  I  was  ;  and  I  did  really 
feel  hardened,  as  I  looked  with  a  contemptuous  smile  at 
my  tutor  and  then  hurried  off  to  our  wing.  I  undressed 
and  went  to  bed,  taking  a  book  with  me  for  occupation. 
My  faithful  Yevseitch,  though  he  could  not  grasp  the 
injury  to  my  feelings  and  laughed  heartily  at  so  absurd  a 
punishment,  was  distressed  to  think  that  I  should  not 
have  enough  to  eat ;  and  he  promised  to  procure  for  me 
on  the  sly  anything  tempting  that  was  served  in  the 
dining-room.  But  I  angrily  forbade  him  to  do  this,  and 
sent  him  out  of  the  room.  At  first  I  felt  only  rage  and 
irritation  ;  then  I  began  to  cry,  and  finally  went  to  sleep. 
Owing  to  my  bad  night,  I  slept  so  sound  that  I  never 
woke  till  my  companions  came  back  to  the  wing  after 
dining  with  the  family,  and  began  to  make  a  noise  over 
their  games.  Sleep  had  calmed  my  feelings ;  I  refused 
the  bread  and  water  and  stood  with  indifference  the 
jokes  of  the  boys  at  my  expense  ;  they  agreed  with  me 
that  I  was  innocent,  and  laughed  less  at  me  than  at  the 
oddity  of  my  punishment.  The  second  Manass&n  boy 
was  a  confirmed  idler,  and  he  even  envied  me,  saying  that 
he  would  welcome  that  form  of  punishment  every  day. 
When  the  others  went  off  to  afternoon  school,  I  began  to 
prepare  the  work  set  that  morning  in  my  absence,  and  to 
go  over  the  work  of  the  evening  before.  At  seven  o'clock, 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  89 

when  the  boys  had  come  back  from  school  and  were 
having  tea  in  the  dining-room,  Zapolsky  sent  a  message 
to  me  to  dress  and  join  them  ;  and  I  obeyed. 

He  greeted  me  by  saying  :  "I  forgive  you  ;  but  you 
owe  it  to  these  ladies  that  the  time  of  your  punishment 
is  shortened " — and  he  pointed  to  his  mother-in-law, 
his  wife,  and  her  sisters.  I  expressed  my  thanks  to  them. 
Then  he  and  his  wife  immediately  left  the  room,  and  the 
boys,  having  finished  their  tea,  went  off  to  the  wing, 
but  the  ladies  kept  me.  In  no  time  a  small  table  was 
laid  and  food  brought  in  ;  the  young  ladies  made  me 
sit  at  the  table  and  sat  round  me  themselves.  They 
fed  me  almost  out  of  their  own  hands,  and  even  produced 
a  pot  of  jam,  on  which  I  regaled  with  a  will.  These 
benefits  were  conferred  with  so  much  kindness  that 
my  heart  was  quite  melted.  It  turned  out  that,  though 
the  young  ladies  had  never  spoken  a  word  to  me  till 
then,  they  had  long  before  taken  a  fancy  to  me  for  my 
modest  behaviour ;  and  my  punishment,  which  they 
and  their  mother  thought  undeserved  and  inhuman,  had 
excited  their  warmest  sympathy :  Zapolsky  had  been 
unable  to  resist  their  intercession  on  my  behalf.  I  was 
told  that  Katerina  had  even  shed  tears  and  gone  down 
on  her  knees  before  him — which  made  Katerina  blush 
terribly.  They  kept  me  in  the  house  all  the  evening, 
and  asked  me  all  sorts  of  details  about  myself.  As  may 
be  guessed,  I  chattered  freely :  not  only  did  I  tell  them 
about  my  dear  Aksakovo  and  my  first  term  at  school, 
but  I  recited  to  them  a  great  deal  of  poetry,  having  long- 
had  a  passion  for  recitation.  The  ladies  were  sincerely 
delighted ;  they  uttered  cries  of  pleasure  and  showered 
caresses  upon  me.  I  was  delighted  too  by  the  impression 
I  had  produced,  and  my  head  was  turned  with  youthful 
vanity.  After  supper  I  went  back  to  the  wing,  where  the 
other  boys,  who  knew  already  from  Yelagin  how  his 
sisters  had  fed  and  comforted  me,  asked  me  questions 
and  expressed  their  envy  of  my  luck.  I  was  kept  awake 
a  long  time  by  excitement  and  vague  fancies  beyond  my 
comprehension. 

This  incident  seems  trifling  enough,  but  I  had  a  purpose 
in  describing  it  so  fully.  It  made  me  idle,  though  I  had 


90  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

worked  hard  till  then.  Mme.  Yelagin  as  well  as  her 
daughters  took  a  fancy  to  me,  and  often  asked  permission 
of  her  son-in-law  to  invite  me  to  spend  the  evening  with 
them,  and  I  found  a  couple  of  hours  passed  in  their  society 
very  agreeable.  On  Sundays  and  holidays  I  constantly 
ran  across  to  their  house,  and  almost  ceased  to  visit  some 
ladies,  relations  of  my  father's,  who  had  often  entertained 
me  in  the  past.  The  other  boys  went  on  envying  me, 
and  Yelagin,  a  young  scamp  of  fifteen  whom  his  sisters 
would  not  invite  to  join  us,  was  seriously  vexed  with  me, 
and  showed  it  by  caustic  allusions,  of  which  I  entirely 
missed  the  point.  By  degrees  my  attention  was  taken 
off  my  work  altogether.  After  three  months  Zapolsky 
hired  a  teacher  for  us,  a  theological  student  who  had 
finished  his  course ;  his  name  was  Guri  Lastochkin,  and 
he  was  a  very  modest  and  intelligent  young  man,  from 
whom  I  might  have  gained  much  ;  but  my  work  was  very 
badly  done  until  spring  came  and  the  Yelagins  went  off 
to  the  country.  There  was  one  exception  :  in  Russian 
Literature  and  Slavonic  Grammar,  the  subjects  taught 
by  Ibrahimoff,  I  still  distinguished  myself,  because  I 
had  a  strong  liking  for  the  subject  and  for  the  teacher. 
Six  weeks  before  the  examinations,  I  began  to  work 
in  real  earnest.  Lastochkin  gave  zealous  assistance  to 
my  endeavours,  and  took  a  great  liking  to  me  at  this 
time ;  but,  in  spite  of  all,  I  was  not  promoted  to  the 
Senior  Class  and  had  to  stay  where  I  was  for  a  year  longer. 
Only  a  third  of  my  form  were  promoted,  and  some  of  these 
owed  their  remove  not  to  proficiency  but  to  seniority, 
after  remaining  two  or  three  years  in  the  form.  No 
one  blamed  me  for  this,  and  I  professed,  like  all  the 
others,  that  it  would  be  good  for  me  to  stay  in  the  form 
two  years  as  most  boys  did  ;  yet  my  youthful  vanity 
was  hurt,  and,  still  worse,  I  feared  that  my  mother  would 
be  vexed. 

But  my  fears  were  groundless.  When  I  went  home 
to  Aksakovo  with  Yevs&tch  for  the  summer  holidays  of 
1808,  and  when  my  mother  had  read  the  letters  from 
Upadishevsky,  Zapolsky,  and  Kartashevsky,  she  and 
my  father  were  very  well  pleased  that  I  had  not  been 
promoted.  But,  when  I  told  her  fully  and  frankly  the 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  91 

way  in  which  I  had  been  passing  my  time  in  my  tutor's 
house,  she  became  very  serious  and  looked  dissatisfied. 
She  disapproved  of  Zapolsky  and  his  relations,  and  even 
of  Lastochkin ;  for  she  could  not  endure  theological 
students,  and  here  my  father,  who  had  a  contemptuous 
nickname  for  them,  agreed  with  her  entirely.  This 
prejudice  was  especially  unfair  in  the  case  of  Lastochkin, 
who  had  many  good  points. 

I  had  a  strange  meeting  with  Lastochkin  a  few  years 
later.  I  should  say  first  that  we  became  very  intimate, 
in  spite  of  the  difference  of  our  ages,  at  the  end  of  that 
term  ;  and  he  confided  all  his  private  affairs  to  me,  telling 
me  for  one  thing  that  the  Government  was  urging  him  to 
enter  the  sacred  profession,  though  he  felt  no  leaning  in 
that  direction.  I  do  not  know  why,  but  I  felt  convinced 
that  he  would  certainly  enter  the  priesthood,  and  I  told 
him  so.  He  denied  it  with  some  heat ;  and,  in  order  to 
convince  me  of  the  contrary,  he  took  a  sheet  of  paper  one 
day  and  wrote  on  it :  "  Sooner  shall  the  river  at  Kazan 
flow  upward  than  Guri  Lastochkin  take  priest's  orders." 
Then  he  gave  me  the  paper  to  keep  as  a  guarantee  that 
he  would  retain  his  freedom — a  clear  proof  of  his  own 
youth  at  the  time.  Two  months  passed,  and  we  parted  ; 
and  then  for  nearly  four  years  I  never  once  heard  of  him, 
and  had  quite  forgotten  his  existence. 

One  wretched  autumn  morning  I  received  a  note  from 
my  aunt,  my  mother's  half-sister,  whom  I  loved  very 

dearly  ;  she  was  living  then  with  the  B s,  and  I  often 

saw  her.  "  My  dear  Serge," — she  wrote — "  Come  to  our 
house  at  six  this  evening,  wearing  your  uniform  and 
sword.1  There  is  a  wedding  in  this  house ;  and  you, 
as  the  bride's  page,  must  put  on  her  shoes  and  escort  her 

to  church. ' '  The  bride  had  been  brought  up  by  the  B s ; 

she  was  poor  but  young  and  pretty.  When  I  got  there, 
I  was  scolded  for  being  a  little  late,  and  taken  at  once  to 
the  bride's  room  where  I  put  on  her  silk  stockings  and 
shoes.  She  was  not  quite  dressed,  but  her  head  was  in 
proper  bridal  trim ;  and  I  remember  that  I  was  struck 
by  her  beauty.  I  had  hardly  time  to  exchange  a  few 
words  with  my  aunt  in  her  room,  before  the  lady  of  the 

1  Students  carried  swords  :  see  p.  123. 


92  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

house  sent  for  me  and  asked  me  to  drive  at  once  in  her 
carriage  to  the  bridegroom's  lodgings.  I  was  to  tell  him 
that  the  bride  was  dressed,  and  that  he  should  go  at 
once  to  the  church  and  send  a  message  from  there  that  he 
was  waiting.  I  went  off  instantly  and  had  no  time  to 
ask  the  bridegroom's  name.  A  friend  was  with  me  who 
knew  the  bridegroom  and  where  he  lived  ;  he  took  me  to 
a  large  Government  building  inhabited  by  a  number  of 
people,  led  me  through  several  rooms,  and  then  opened  a 
door.  "  There,"  he  said,  "  is  the  bridegroom,  dressing  in 
front  of  the  looking-glass."  I  saw  the  back  of  a  stout 
man ;  he  was  wearing  knee-breeches,  silk  stockings,  and 
shoes,  and  a  servant  was  hastily  fitting  on  to  him  a  stiff 
white  shirt-front.  When  I  came  close,  the  bridegroom 
turned  round — it  was  Lastochkin,  though  grown  very 
stout.  A  cry  of  surprise  burst  from  both  of  us.  "  My 
dear  Aksakoff,"  he  said,  embracing  me ;  "  how  glad  I 
am  to  see  you  !  But  at  this  moment  you  must  excuse 
me.  ..."  I  interrupted  him  by  saying  that  I  was  the 
bride's  page,  and  had  been  sent  to  hurry  the  bridegroom. 
He  went  on  dressing  in  haste,  talking  to  me  all  the  time. 
"  A  great  surprise  to  you,  I  suppose,"  he  said.  "  Yes," 
I  answered  :  "I  did  not  know  who  the  bridegroom  was  ; 
but  I  congratulate  you  on  marrying  a  good  and  pretty 
girl."  "  Oh,  you  are  quite  in  the  dark  still,"  said  he ; 
then  he  took  me  aside  and  said  in  a  low  voice,  "  You 
probably  remember  my  engagement  in  writing  not  to 
take  orders.  Well,  to-morrow  I  shall  be  a  priest,  and 
next  day  senior  curate  in  the  Cathedral  of  Peter  and 
Paul  " — and  tears  came  to  his  eyes.  I  do  not  know  what 
circumstances  altered  his  convictions  ;  but  he  evidently 
regretted  the  loss  of  his  freedom.  We  never  met  again. 
In  the  course  of  fifteen  years  I  often  heard  that  he  was 
universally  loved  for  his  qualities  of  heart  and  respected 
for  his  learning.  I  think  he  became  Rector  of  the 
seminary  recently  founded  at  Kazan. 

What  chiefly  troubled  my  mother  about  my  school 
life  was  the  absurd  punishment  inflicted  on  me  by 
Zapolsky.  The  wish  to  take  me  away  from  him  and 
place  me  with  his  former  colleague  rose  again  in  her 
heart  with  renewed  strength.  It  was  not  difficult  to  take 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  93 

me  away  ;  but  it  seemed  hopeless  to  induce  Kartashevsky 
to  break  through  a  rule  which  he  had  laid  down  once  for 
all ;  and  the  difficulty  was  increased  by  the  fact  that  he 
was  not  merely  a  colleague  of  Zapolsky's,  but  an  intimate 
friend.  The  loss  of  his  best  pupil  might  injure  Zapolsky's 
reputation  with  other  parents,  and  my  transference  to 
Kartashevsky  might,  by  people  who  were  ignorant  of  the 
circumstances,  be  called  unhandsome.  My  poor  mother 
was  very  sad  about  it,  but  she  saw  no  way  to  mend  matters. 
To  my  great  astonishment,  she  disapproved  also  of  the 
notice  taken  of  me  by  the  kind  ladies  at  my  boarding- 
house,  and  especially  of  the  blandishments  of  one  of  the 
sisters.  She  decided  to  travel  to  Kazan  in  winter :  she 
wished  to  see  my  manner  of  life  for  herself,  and  also  to 
urge  Kartashevsky  by  every  means  in  her  power  to  fall 
in  with  her  plan.  She  had  a  third  motive  which  I  dis- 
covered later  :  she  intended  that  I  should  spend  with  her, 
and  not  in  the  bosom  of  my  tutor's  family,  all  my  free  time 
during  the  Christmas  holidays. 

All  my  summer  holiday  I  spent  in  the  country,  and  I 
was  as  happy  as  in  the  previous  year.  But  on  my  return 
to  Kazan  I  fell  in  with  an  adventure  which  made  a  deep 
impression  on  my  mind  ;  indeed,  the  traces  of  it  remain 
to  this  day.  From  it  I  date  an  increased  fear,  which 
possesses  me  still,  of  ferrying  across  great  rivers.  It 
happened  in  the  following  way.  We  came  in  the  afternoon 
to  the  bank  of  the  Kama,  opposite  the  village  of  Shooran  ; 
during  summer  the  river  was  crossed  at  this  point.  On 
the  bank  there  were  three  loaded  carts  with  their  drivers, 
waiting  to  cross,  and  about  a  score  of  peasant  women  with 
baskets  full  of  berries  which  they  were  carrying  home  to 
the  other  side.  No  ferrymen  were  to  be  seen  :  they  had 
all  wandered  off  somewhere.  After  some  discussion  the 
peasants  and  my  servants  determined  to  take  us  across 
themselves  ;  for  one  of  the  peasants  asserted  that  he  had 
been  a  ferryman  for  some  years,  and  offered  himself  to 
take  the  steering-oar.  Accordingly  they  picked  out  the 
best  of  the  ferry-boats  ;  the  three  carts  with  the  horses, 
and  my  carriage  and  three  horses,  were  all  put  on  board, 
and,  of  course,  all  the  women  with  their  baskets  came  too. 
The  man  who  professed  to  be  a  ferryman  took  his  place 


94  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

at  the  steering  oar ;  the  other  four  oars  were  taken  by 
two  peasants,  my  coachman,  and  my  servant  Ivan,  whose 
courage  and  great  strength  made  him  worth  ten  ordinary 
men.  Meanwhile  a  black  cloud  was  rising  quickly  in  the 
west  and  gradually  covered  the  horizon  ;  it  was  impossible 
to  help  noticing  it,  but  we  all  thought  that  it  might  pass 
to  one  side,  or  that  we  might  get  over  before  it  burst. 
Though  the  starting-point  was  exactly  opposite  Shooran, 
it  was  necessary  to  punt  upstream  for  more  than  a  verst, 
to  prevent  the  boat  from  being  carried  down  beyond  the 
landing-place  by  the  swift  current  of  the  angry  Kama. 
This  process  was  very  slow,  and  the  storm  came  quickly 
nearer  and  nearer.  To  save  time,  we  went  only  half  the 
right  distance  up  the  stream  ;  then  the  men  took  to  their 
oars  again,  crossed  themselves,  and  began  to  row  straight 
across.  But,  before  we  had  reached  the  middle  of  the 
river,  the  cloud  advanced  with  astonishing  speed  till  it 
covered  the  sky  from  end  to  end,  the  heavens  grew  black 
and  the  reflection  in  the  water  still  blacker,  darkness  came 
on,  and  a  frightful  storm  burst  over  us  with  thunder  and 
lightning  and  a  hurricane  of  wind.  Our  steersman 
dropped  his  oar  in  a  panic,  and  confessed  that  he  was  not 
a  ferryman  at  all  and  could  not  steer ;  an  eddy  whirled 
our  boat  round  like  a  shaving  and  carried  it  down  the 
stream  ;  the  women  raised  a  piercing  shriek,  and;  horror 
fell  upon  us  all.  I  was  so  frightened  that  I  trembled  all 
over  and  could  nof;  utter  a  word.  The  rapid  current 
carried  us  down  several  versts,  and  then  stranded  us  on  a 
sandy  shoal  about  a  hundred  yards  from  the  far  bank. 
Ivan  sprang  into  the  water  which  was  waist-deep ;  then 
he  waded  ashore,  and  the  water  nowhere  came  higher 
than  his  breast.  Next,  he  came  back  the  same  way  to  the 
boat,  made  the  quietest  of  our  horses  jump  off,  and 
mounted  me  on  it,  bidding  me  hold  on  tight  to  the  horse's 
neck  and  mane.  Then  he  led  the  horse  by  the  bridle, 
while  Yevs&tch  walked  alongside  and  supported  me  with 
both  arms.  Great  waves  of  discoloured  water  surged  past 
us  and  drenched  even  our  heads.  Unluckily,  Ivan,  who 
was  walking  in  front,  missed  the  ford  he  had  traversed 
twice  already,  and  got  into  deep  water.  All  in  a  moment 
he  disappeared  below  the  surface,  my  horse  began  to 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  95 

swim,  and  Yevseitch  was  left  behind ;  and  the  fear  of 
immediate  death  which  came  over  me  then  I  have  never 
forgotten.  I  was  ready  to  faint  and  almost  choked  by  the 
waves  ;  it  was  fortunate  for  me  that  it  grew  shallow  after 
a  few  yards.  Ivan  was  a  strong  swimmer,  and  he  swam 
on  to  the  shallows,  never  letting  go  of  the  horse's  bridle  till 
he  brought  him  safely  to  the  bank.  But  Yevseitch  was 
nearly  drowned  :  he  could  not  swim  well  and  had  much 
difficulty  in  getting  to  land.  I  was  taken  off  the  horse 
almost  unconscious  and  wet  to  the  skin ;  my  fingers  had 
stiffened  as  they  clung  to  the  mane.  But  I  soon  recovered, 
and  was  inexpressibly  rejoiced  to  find  myself  safe. 

Yevseitch  stayed  with  me,  while  Ivan  went  back  to  the 
boat.  The  women,  crying  and  shrieking  but  refusing  to 
part  with  their  baskets,  were  jumping  into  the  water  ;  the 
peasants  were  pulling  off  their  horses  and  carts  ;  and  at 
last  they  hit  upon  a  safer  passage  and  all  made  their  way 
somehow  to  the  bank  through  shallow  water.  The  boat, 
now  lightened  of  most  of  its  freight,  rose  off  the  sand  and 
began  to  drift  down.  But  at  this  point  Ivan's  great 
strength  did  us  yeoman's  service  :  he  held  the  boat  fast 
till  my  coachman  had  got  off  both  carriage  and  horses  into 
the  water ;  then  he  let  go,  and  off  went  the  boat  down 
stream.  The  two  men,  up  to  the  waist  in  water,  harnessed 
the  horses  and  brought  the  carriage  to  land.  Everything 
in  it  was  soaked.  Wet  and  cold  we  got  in  and  drove  fast 
to  Shooran,  where  we  got  warmed  and  dried  and  drank 
plenty  of  hot  tea  ;  and  our  cold  bath  was  followed  by  no 
bad  consequences.  But  I  had  had  a  terrible  fright ;  and 
ever  since,  the  sight  of  a  great  river  even  in  calm  weather 
has  made  me  uneasy,  while  a  storm  produces  in  me  an 
involuntary  horror  which  I  cannot  overcome. 

On  returning  to  school,  I  set  to  work  in  earnest  at  my 
lessons  ;  and,  as  the  Yelagins  were  in  the  country,  I  had 
no  distractions.  Lastochkin  was  pleased  with  my  diligence 
and  coached  me  zealously,  so  that  I  soon  rose  high  in  all 
subjects  except  mathematics.  Of  the  work  with  Ibra- 
himoff  I  need  not  speak ;  for  there  I  was  always  at  the 
top.  By  this  time  I  had  become  strongly  attached  to 
the  school,  the  masters,  and  the  boys,  in  whom  I  found 
cheerful  companions.  I  was  no  longer  confused  by  the 


96  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

constant  bustle  and  running  about,  the  noise  of  loud 
voices  and  loud  laughter  ;  I  was  unconscious  of  it  all  and 
took  my  part  with  the  best  of  them,  and  found  something 
attractive  and  orderly  in  the  life. 

The  autumn  was  long  and  wet.  There  was  a  serious 
epidemic  of  fever  in  the  town,  and  I  was  one  of  the 
sufferers.  Dr.  Benis  had  left  the  school,  and  our  old 
friend,  Andrei  Ritter,  attended  to  all  the  boys,  including 
those  who  like  myself  lived  in  boarding-houses.  His 
treatment  checked  the  fever  pretty  soon,  but  it  returned 
in  a  few  days.  Large  doses  of  quinine  and  Glauber's 
salts,  at  the  thought  of  which  my  gorge  rises  even  now, 
routed  the  fever  a  second  time ;  but  it  returned  in  a 
fortnight  in  a  severer  form,  and  the  illness  dragged  on 
for  some  time.  Yevseitch,  seeing  that  the  remedies  were 
doing  little  good,  began  to  doubt  the  skill  of  the  doctor, 
whom  he  had  known  before  as  a  heavy  drinker,  and  who 
was  sometimes  "  half-seas-over  " — according  to  Yevseitch, 
when  he  came  to  see  me.  So  my  servant  ventured  to 
report  this  to  Zapolsky  and  asked  him  to  call  in  another 
doctor.  Zapolsky  was  very  angry  :  saying  that  Ritter 
was  famous  all  over  the  town  for  his  success  with  fevers, 
he  sent  Yevseitch  about  his  business.  But  Yevseitch, 
who  was  devoted  to  me,  remembered  his  promise  to  his 
mistress,  and  wrote  to  tell  her  of  my  illness.  My  mother 
was  much  distressed  and  alarmed.  She  had  not  yet 
recovered  from  her  confinement — our  family  had  just 
been  increased  by  the  birth  of  a  third  brother;  but  she 
started  at  once  and  travelled  alone  to  Kazan,  where  she 
took  lodgings  for  herself  and  me,  called  in  the  best  doctor, 
and  nursed  me  herself.  This  journey  was  a  fresh  act  of 
self-sacrifice  on  my  mother's  part :  her  health  suffered 
seriously  in  consequence ;  but  her  whole  life  was  made 
up  of  such  actions.  Some  disagreeable  explanations 
with  Zapolsky  were  inevitable  :  he  was  offended  by  my 
mother's  moving  me  to  her  lodgings  and  by  her  changing 
the  doctor.  But,  while  I  was  recovering,  which  took  some 
time  owing  to  severe  pain  in  my  right  side,  Zapolsky  had 
some  difficulties  with  the  parents  of  the  Manassein  boys, 
which  made  him  give  up  his  boarding-house  and  announce 
that  he  would  take  no  more  pupils. 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  97 

This  was  a  great  satisfaction  to  my  mother  :  she  would 
not  have  left  me  with  Zapolsky  in  any  case  ;  but  she 
would  have  found  it  much  more  difficult  or  even  im- 
possible to  induce  Kartashevsky  to  take  me  directly  from 
his  friend.  Even  as  it  was,  she  met  with  so  many  diffi- 
culties that  success  for  long  seemed  doubtful.  I  ought 
to  say  that,  during  all  the  second  period  of  my  school- 
time,  the  friendly  relations  between  Kartashevsky  and  my 
family  showed  no  signs  of  falling  off,  but  grew  steadily 
closer.  My  mother  carried  on  a  very  active  correspondence 
with  him,  and  he  could  not  fail  to  appreciate  her  intelli- 
gence, her  steady  friendship  for  him,  founded  on  respect 
for  his  high  character,  and  her  exceptional  devotion  to 
her  child.  More  than  once  I  was  within  hearing  in  another 
room,  while  she  urged  and  entreated  Kartashevsky  with 
the  fire  of  heartfelt  eloquence  and  burning  tears  to  take 
me  as  his  pupil.  At  last  she  broke  down  his  opposition, 
and  he  consented,  though  very  unwillingly.  He  took  me, 
not  as  a  pupil  or  boarder,  but  as  a  young  companion — 
he  was  then  twenty-six,  and  I  thirteen.  He  refused 
positively  to  accept  money  for  his  charge,  and  proposed 
that  we  should  share  the  expense  of  board  and  lodging, 
though,  for  convenience'  sake,  I  was  to  have  my  own  supply 
of  tea  ;  all  our  other  expenditure  each  of  us  was  to  manage 
independently.  When  my  mother  had  at  last  secured  the 
fulfilment  of  her  darling  wish,  she  was  so  radiantly  happy 
that  I  felt  deeply  how  far  superior  a  mother's  love  is  to 
that  of  any  one  else  in  the  world.  I  too  was  very  glad 
to  come  under  Kartashevsky.  I  felt  a  profound  respect 
for  him,  and  even  loved  him.  His  rather  strange  and  dry 
manner  did  not  frighten  me ;  for  I  knew  that  this  cold 
exterior,  due  to  his  views  on  education,  was  part  of  a 
regular  system  in  his  dealings  with  boys  ;  and  I  thought 
then  that  perhaps  it  was  the  right  system,  though  I 
certainly  do  not  think  so  now. 

A  house  belonging  to  the  Yelagins,  a  fairly  good  and 
roomy  house  which  was  standing  empty  and  on  lease  at 
the  time,  was  taken  by  us  at  once.  My  mother  moved 
there  with  me  and  made  arrangements  about  our  future 
housekeeping.  I  was  now  quite  well  again ;  and,  when 
she  had  handed  me  over  personally  to  the  care  of  Karta- 

G 


98  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

shevsky,  she  went  back  to  the  rest  of  the  family  at 
Aksakovo,  full  of  bright  hopes  for  the  future.  This  was 
in  February  of  the  year  1804. 

My  life  with  Grigdri  Kartashevsky  is  one  of  the  happiest 
memories  of  my  early  youth.  It  lasted  two  years  and  a 
half;  and,  although  its  brightness  suffered  some  eclipse 
eventually,  yet  only  the  happy  part  of  it  remains  lively 
and  distinct  in  my  grateful  recollection.  It  was  long 
before  he  consented  to  take  me ;  but,  once  he  had  con- 
sented, he  devoted  himself  to  me  heart  and  soul.  My 
school  lessons,  though  I  continued  to  do  well  in  them, 
were  now  of  secondary  importance,  and  my  private 
instruction  became  the  main  business.  I  had  been  used 
to  attend  all  the  classes  in  school  regularly,  but  now  I 
seldom  went  to  lessons  in  arithmetic,  drawing,  and  writing, 
spending  these  hours  at  home  instead,  under  the  super- 
vision of  my  wise  tutor.  It  is  an  odd  fact  that  I  was 
positively  unable  to  learn  mathematics.  At  first,  Karta- 
shevsky tried  hard  to  teach  me ;  and  I  cannot  say  that 
I  did  not  understand  his  uncommonly  clear  explanations, 
but  I  forgot  instantly  what  I  had  understood,  so  that 
he  did  not  believe  I  had  ever  understood  him.  Knowing 
that  I  was  intimate  with  Alexander  KnyazheVitch,  the 
best  mathematician  in  the  school,  my  tutor  suggested 
that  he  should  try  his  hand  with  me.  When  KnyazheVitch 
taught  me,  I  understood  him  much  better  than  my  tutor, 
and  I  remembered  the  points  longer.  But  it  was  all  of 
no  avail :  after  a  few  days,  not  a  single  proposition,  not  a 
single  proof,  remained  in  my  head.  In  respect  of  mathe- 
matics, my  excellent  memory  proved  no  better  than  a 
clean  sheet  of  white  paper,  which  refused  to  retain  a 
single  mathematical  sign  !  Therefore  my  tutor  took  into 
account  my  natural  powers  and  inclinations,  and  drew  up 
a  course  of  education  for  me  in  accordance  with  them : 
it  was  to  be  general,  not  abstruse,  and  mainly  literary. 
He  wrote  out  a  long  list  of  books  for  me  at  once.  As  far  as 
I  can  remember,  this  included  Lomonossoff,  Derzhavin,1 

1  There  was  then  only  one  volume  of  Derzhavin  in  print,  and  also  a 
small  collection  of  Anacreontic  poems,  printed,  according  to  the  title- 
page,  in  "  Petrograd."  Apparently  Derzhavin  disliked  the  foreign  name 
of  the  modern  capital  of  Russia.  (Author's  Note.) 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  99 

Dmitrieff,  Kapnist,  and  Hemnitser.  Kheraskoff  and 
Sumarokoff  I  possessed  already,  but  my  tutor  never  read 
these  with  me.  Then  there  were  French  books  on  the 
list :  the  preachers,  Massillon,  Flechier,  and  Bourdaloue, 
The  Arabian  Nights,  Don  Quixote,  The  Death  of  Abel  and 
The  Idylls  of  Gessner,  The  Vicar  of  Wakefield,  and  two 
Natural  Histories,  one  of  them  with  pictures,  but  I  do 
not  know  the  authors'  names.  To  me  natural  history 
was  the  most  seductive  of  the  sciences.  There  were  other 
books  as  well,  but  I  forget  their  names  too. 

But  the  first  thing  my  tutor  did  with  me  was  to  work 
at  foreign  languages,  especially  French,  in  which  I,  like 
most  of  the  boys,  was  very  weak  ;  and  in  three  months  I 
could  read  it  fluently  and  understand  any  French  book. 
Words  and  the  grammar  and  conversations  I  learnt  in  the 
ordinary  course  at  school ;  but  at  home  I  learnt  nothing 
by  heart :  my  tutor  took  a  book  and  made  me  read  and 
translate  aloud.  At  first  I  was  completely  puzzled,  and 
this  method  seemed  to  me  absurd  and  wearisome ;  but 
my  teacher  stuck  to  it,  and  I  was  soon  surprised  and 
delighted  by  its  success.  I  made  a  separate  list  of  words 
I  did  not  know  ;  then  I  wrote  out  a  literal  translation  of 
the  French,  a  rough  copy  and  then  a  fair  copy.  I  had 
the  active  memory  of  youth,  and  I  was  always  able  to 
repeat  next  morning,  without  having  learned  them,  the 
French  original,  my  Russian  translation,  and  the  separate 
list  of  words.  The  first  piece  I  read  and  translated  was 
Les  Aventures  d"  Aristonoy,1  from  a  French  reading-book  ; 
and  next  I  began  to  read  and  translate  The  Arabian 
Nights,  which  was  followed  by  Don  Quixote.  Certain 
passages  I  was  forbidden  to  read,  and  I  obeyed  orders 
scrupulously.  What  a  pleasure  it  was  to  have  such 
delightful  and  attractive  lesson-books  !  Even  now,  after 
the  lapse  of  fifty  years,  I  recall  these  readings  with  the 
liveliest  satisfaction ;  I  remember  how  impatiently  I 
awaited  the  time  fixed  for  them,  although  it  was  nearly 
always  immediately  after  dinner  ! 

My  tutor  was  a  serious  student  of  his  own  branch  of 
science.  Making  use  of  the  labours  of  men  who  were 
famous  then  in  that  branch  of  learning,  he  was  writing 

1  By  Fe'nelon. 


100  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

an  original  course  of  lectures  on  Pure  Mathematics  to  be 
delivered  in  the  school.  He  knew  modern  languages 
very  well  and  could  write  them  readily ;  he  read  much 
German  literature  and  philosophy.  He  was  also  con- 
stantly engaged  in  perfecting  his  knowledge  of  Latin ; 
and  his  command  of  it  astonished  the  University  of 
Vilna  with  which  he  was  connected  later.  To  read  The 
Arabian  Nights  and  Don  Quixote  with  me  was  a  relief 
from  his  severer  studies  ;  and  he  joined  heartily  in  my 
laughter,  like  a  boy  of  my  own  age,  or  even  like  a  child  ; 
and  at  first  this  puzzled  me  exceedingly.  At  such  times 
my  tutor  was  a  different  man  :  all  his  dryness  and  strict- 
ness disappeared,  and  I  came  to  love  him  like  an  elder 
brother,  though  at  the  same  time  I  stood  in  great  awe  of 
him. 

When  I  had  got  a  fair  mastery  of  French,  the  reading 
of  Russian  authors,  especially  the  poets,  became  our 
main  occupation.  My  tutor  explained  poetry  so  well, 
pointing  out  the  writer's  meaning  and  the  merits  of  style, 
that  my  liking  for  literature  soon  became  a  passion. 
With  no  effort  on  my  part,  I  learned  by  heart  all  the  best 
poetry  of  Derzhavin,  Lomonossoff,  and  Kapnist,  selected 
by  the  critical  judgment  of  my  teacher ;  and  Dmitrieff's 
poetry,  which  was  then  considered  a  model  of  style  for 
purity  and  correctness,  I  could  repeat  almost  from  end 
to  end.  Of  Russian  prose  we  read  very  little,  probably 
because  my  teacher  was  dissatisfied  with  the  prose 
writers  of  the  time.  It  is  worthy  of  remark,  that  he  read 
no  Karamzin  with  me  except  a  few  letters  from  The 
Russian  Traveller,  and  would  not  allow  me  to  have  My 
Trifles  among  my  books.  But  I  knew  already  all  that 
Karamzin  had  written,  and  used  to  recite  enthusiastically 
The  Parting  of  Hector  and  Andromache,  and  The  Proof 
of  Solomon's  Wisdom.  I  proceeded  at  once  to  display 
these  acquirements  to  my  tutor ;  but  he  only  frowned 
and  said  that  the  first  poem  gave  no  idea  of  Homer,  and 
the  second  none  of  Ecclesiastes  ;  "  Better  forget  these 
poems  altogether,"  he  added.  I  was  exceedingly  puzzled  : 
I  admired  both  poems,  and  continued  to  recite  them  when 
I  happened  to  be  by  myself  in  the  garden. 

He  did  not  allow  me  to  compose,  and  I  could  only  taste 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  101 

this  pleasure  in  secret  or  in  Ibrahimoff  s  class.  My  room 
was  divided  by  a  thin  partition  from  the  drawing-room 
which  served  my  tutor  as  study  and  bedroom ;  and 
I  once  overheard  a  conversation  about  myself  between 
him  and  Ibrahimoff.  The  latter  praised  me  highly  and 
showed  my  tutor  a  composition  I  had  written  in  class, 
in  the  form  of  a  letter  to  a  friend,  on  "  The  Beauties  of 
Spring  "  ;  and  he  added  that  it  might  be  as  well  to  make 
me  do  more  in  the  way  of  original  composition.  My 
tutor  always  exercised  a  kind  of  ascendancy  over  his 
colleagues,  and  he  now  replied  very  positively  :  "  My 
dear  fellow,  that  is  all  utter  nonsense  !  The  boy's  essay 
is  a  mere  cento  of  phrases  picked  up  out  of  different  books  ; 
and  it  is  impossible  to  judge  whether  he  has  any  original 
gift.  He  has  a  great  fancy  for  writing,  and  I  am  sure  he 
will  soon  begin  to  stain  paper,  but  I  shall  keep  him  in 
leading-strings  as  long  as  I  can.  The  later  he  begins  to 
write,  the  better  for  my  young  Telemachus."  (This  was 
a  nickname  given  to  me  by  all  the  masters,  while  they 
called  my  tutor  "  Mentor  "  or  "  Minerva.")  "  A  young 
man  ought  to  collect  good  examples,  and  form  his  taste 
by  reading  authors  with  a  correct  and  well-formed  style. 
Do  you  suppose  I  let  him  read  all  Derzhavin  ?  Not  a  bit 
of  it !  He  only  knows  twenty  poems  of  his,  but  he  knows 
the  whole  of  Dmitrieff.  I  believe  you  will  spoil  him.  I 
daresay  you  constantly  use  in  school  Poor  Lisa,1  and 
Natalya,  the  Nobleman  s  Daughter,  and  Sofya,  A  Dramatic 
Fragment"  Ibrahimoff  was  offended,  and  replied  that, 
for  all  their  charm,  he  understood  perfectly  that  these 
works  were  unsuitable  for  boys.  "  Glad  to  hear  it !  "  my 
tutor  continued  ;  "  but  these  are  the  very  poems  which 
Erich  has  made  them  translate  into  French."  (Erich, 
who  had  a  great  knowledge  of  languages,  ancient  and 
modern,  used  to  teach  French  and  German  to  the  Senior 
Class.)  This  conversation  went  on  for  some  time,  and  my 
youth  did  not  prevent  me  from  understanding  the  good 
sense  of  my  tutor's  arguments.  He  would  not  have 
talked  so  loudly  about  me  if  he  had  known  that  I  was  in 
the  house.  A  teacher  having  failed  to  appear,  I  had 
come  back  early  from  school  and  passed  unnoticed  into 

1  A  novel  by  Karamzin,  published  in  1792. 


102  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

my  room.  On  this  occasion  I  learnt  the  high  estimate 
Kartashevsky  had  formed  of  my  mother ;  but  alas ! 
about  myself  he  did  not  make  a  single  flattering  remark ; 
yet  how  I  longed  to  hear  something  of  the  kind  !  It 
really  seemed  as  if  he  knew  that  I  was  listening  behind  the 
door. 

When  I  reflect  now  upon  the  past,  it  puzzles  me  exceed- 
ingly, and  I  cannot  understand  why  I  was  so  warmly 
attached  to  my  tutor.  I  was  too  young  to  appreciate 
fully  the  deep  sympathy  and  real  affection  for  me  that 
were  concealed  under  that  dry  manner.  Never  once  did 
he  show  kind  feeling,  or  flatter  my  vanity  by  any  kind  of 
compliment,  or  praise  my  diligence  ;  and  yet  I  loved 
him  more  than  any  one  outside  my  family.  I  remember 
that  I  once  heard  him  laughing  and  looked  into  his  room  : 
he  had  some  mathematical  treatise  in  his  hand,  and  the 
stern  martinet  was  laughing  like  a  child  as  he  watched 
some  kittens  at  play ;  and  he  wore  an  expression  so  kind 
and  even  affectionate  that  I  was  jealous  of  those  kittens. 
When  I  went  into  the  room  with  my  book,  his  face  changed 
and  assumed  the  old  expression — cold  and  composed,  with 
even  a  trace  of  surliness. 

And  so  my  life  went  on.  At  times,  my  tutor  became 
more  approachable,  and  his  manner  of  addressing  me, 
if  not  friendly,  was  at  least  playful.  This  happened 
only  when  we  were  alone,  and  especially  during  the 
reading  of  Don  Quixote — Sancho  Panza  was  an  inex- 
haustible source  of  laughter  to  us  both ;  but  the  appear- 
ance of  any  third  person,  even  if  it  was  only  Yevseitch, 
at  once  put  an  end  to  his  mirth. 

Grigori  Kartashevsky  was  the  son  of  a  Little  Russian 
priest,  who  had  the  rank  of  nobility  and  owned  about  a 
hundred  serfs,  and  the  great-grandson  of  a  Turk,  who  left 
Turkey  for  reasons  unknown  to  me,  became  a  Christian, 
and  then  married  and  settled  down  in  Little  Russia.  In 
youth  he  was  neglected  by  his  mother ;  and  his  father, 
who  loved  him  with  a  mother's  tenderness,  seeing  that 
the  child  was  unhappy  at  home,  took  him  to  Moscow  when 
he  was  nine  years  old,  and  placed  him  as  a  Government 
scholar  at  a  school  connected  with  the  University.  The 
son  was  passionately  attached  to  his  father :  he  suffered 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  103 

much  when  left  alone  at  Moscow,  and  his  joy  and  excite- 
ment, when  his  father  visited  him  a  year  later,  were  so 
great  that  he  fell  ill  of  a  fever  ;  and  the  poor  father,  called 
back  by  his  duties,  had  to  leave  his  darling  on  a  sick-bed. 
A  year  later  the  father  died.  During  the  eighteen  years 
that  followed  his  entrance  at  the  Moscow  school,  the  boy 
paid  only  one  visit  to  his  home  in  Little  Russia.  This  was 
shortly  before  he  entered  the  teaching  profession,  and  the 
impression  left  upon  him  by  this  visit  was  painful  and 
distressing.  All  these  facts  I  learnt  from  his  servant 
Yashka,  who  had  come  from  Little  Russia  with  his  master. 
In  my  tutor's  pronunciation,  in  his  turn  of  mind,  and  in 
his  appearance,  there  was  no  indication  whatever  of  his 
native  country,  and  I  think  it  had  no  attraction  for  him  : 
I  often  heard  him  praise  the  good  sense  of  Great  Russians 
and  laugh  at  the  indolence  and  stupidity  of  his  own 
countrymen.  This  gave  great  offence  to  the  other  Little 
Russians,  Zapolsky  and  Markevitch.  The  latter  was  the 
school  bursar,  a  fat  and  very  good-natured  man,  a  born 
humorist  and  very  amusing ;  he  was  very  kind  to  me, 
and  I  was  very  fond  of  him. 

The  spring  of  1804  came  round,  and  my  tutor  and  I 
fasted  in  Passion-week  and  carried  out  all  the  observances 
prescribed  by  the  Church  for  that  season.  Our  parish 
church,  dedicated  to  St.  Barbara  the  Martyr,  was  close  to 
the  outside  of  Kazan,  and  the  roads  were  in  a  terrible 
condition,  owing  to  the  thaw  ;  yet  we  went  on  foot  to  all 
the  services,  even  in  the  early  morning.  Zapolsky  came 
to  our  house  one  day,  and  I  happened  to  overhear  him 
laughing  at  Kartashevsky  for  his  devoutness.  His  words 
implied  that  my  tutor  had  not  always  been  equally  strict 
in  his  performance  of  religious  duties  ;  but  he  got  a  sharp 
rebuke  on  this  occasion  for  ill-timed  jesting.  Zapolsky, 
who  set  up  for  a  freethinker,  was  much  offended  and 
did  not  come  near  us  for  a  long  time.  I  ought  to  say 
that  Kartashevsky,  during  his  whole  life,  was  a  sincere 
Christian.  This  tiff  did  not  prevent  my  tutor  from  going 
with  me  to  Zapolsky 's  country  house,  where  we  spent  the 
time  together  very  pleasantly,  in  the  absence  of  the 
owners.  We  lived  in  a  little  wing  of  the  house,  on  the 
bank  of  a  large  pond  which  had  just  lost  its  winter  covering 


101  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

of  ice  ;  we  read  continually  and  took  two  walks  every 
day,  defying  the  mud.  Spring  distracted  my  attention 
and  reminded  me  too  much  of  spring  at  Aksakovo ;  the 
future  sportsman  could  not  hear  with  indifference  the 
cries  of  the  returning  birds.  One  day  my  tutor  was  read- 
ing some  serious  French  book  with  me  ;  he  was  sitting  by 
the  open  window,  trying  to  explain  some  idea  which  I 
could  not  quite  grasp,  when  suddenly  the  musical  cry  of 
a  redshank  rang  out,  and  the  bird  itself,  with  its  wings 
raised  and  its  slender  red  legs  stretched  out,  alighted 
gracefully  on  the  bank  of  the  pond,  right  opposite  the 
window.  I  started,  dropped  the  book,  and  rushed  to  the 
window,  to  the  astonishment  of  my  tutor.  "  A  red- 
shank !  a  redshank !  "  I  repeated  breathlessly ;  "he 
perched  on  the  bank  close  by  !  Look,  there  he  is,  walking 
about ! "  But  Kartashevsky  did  not  understand  the 
feelings  of  a  sportsman  :  he  told  me  sharply  to  sit  down 
and  go  on  with  my  book.  I  obeyed  ;  but,  though  I  could 
not  see  the  bird,  I  could  hear  its  note  ;  and  the  blood 
rushed  to  my  face,  and  I  could  not  take  in  a  word  of 
what  I  was  reading.  My  tutor  was  displeased  :  he  told 
me  to  put  the  book  down  and  write  a  fair  copy  of  an  old 
translation  which  he  had  already  corrected ;  he  took  a 
book  himself.  An  hour  later  he  said,  "  Well,  has  the 
redshank  flown  out  of  your  head  by  this  time  ?  "  I  said 
it  had,  and  we  resumed  the  work  which  had  been  inter- 
rupted. I  should  add  that  he  was  always  indulgent  on 
these  occasions  :  whenever  he  saw  that  I  was  tired  or 
inattentive,  he  made  me  do  some  mechanical  task  or  sent 
me  to  walk  in  the  garden. 

Examinations  began  with  the  beginning  of  June. 
Though  I  did  very  well  in  all  the  classes  which  I  attended, 
yet,  as  I  had  dropped  some  subjects  altogether,  I  got  no 
prize  ;  but  this  did  not  interfere  with  my  promotion  to 
the  Senior  Class.  Only  nine  boys  completed  the  course 
and  left  the  school  at  this  time ;  the  rest  remained,  to 
spend  another  year  in  the  same  form. 

A  carriage  and  three  horses  had  arrived  before  this  to 
fetch  me.  Yevseitch  and  I  got  ready  for  the  journey, 
and  it  was  settled  that  we  should  start  after  dinner  on 
Speech-day,  which  was  on  one  of  the  early  days  of  July. 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  105 

My  tutor  told  me  the  day  before  that  he  would  like  to  go 
part  of  the  way  with  me,  and  asked  whether  I  approved  of 
this  plan.  I  supposed  that  he  would  go  as  far  as  the 
town  gate,  and  said  that  I  should  be  very  glad.  Next 
morning  Yevseitch  whispered  in  my  ear :  "  He  intends 
to  go  with  us  to  Aksakovo ;  but  he  told  me  not  to  tell 
you."  Though  I  worked  willingly  at  school,  I  was  not 
altogether  pleased  by  this  news  :  I  was  looking  forward 
to  a  real  orgy  of  fishing  in  the  holidays,  and  even  more 
to  shooting ;  for  my  father  had  promised  a  year  ago  to 
get  me  a  gun  and  teach  me  to  shoot.  But  I  knew  that  my 
tutor  would  not  drop  his  lessons  with  me,  and  would 
make  heavy  demands  on  my  time  ;  and  also  I  was  vexed 
with  him  for  not  telling  me.  Yevseitch  too  seemed 
discontented.  When  Speech-day  was  over,  we  dined 
rather  earlier  than  usual  and  drove  out  of  the  town.  I 
pretended  to  be  ignorant  of  my  tutor's  plan.  When  we 
had  reached  the  country,  we  got  out  and  walked  for  a 
time.  My  tutor  was  in  very  good  humour  and  even  gay  ; 
he  looked  with  pleasure  at  the  green  fields  and  woods 
and  the  cloudlets  in  the  summer  sky.  Suddenly  he  smiled 
and  said  :  "  This  fine  weather  tempts  me  to  go  with  you 
to  your  halt  for  the  night ;  then  I  shall  see  you  catch 
fish  for  our  supper."  Keeping  up  the  pretence  of 
ignorance,  I  said  :  "  Very  well :  then  let  us  get  in  again 
and  go  faster,  or  we  shall  arrive  late.  But  when  will  you 
turn  back,  and  how  do  you  mean  to  travel  ?  "  "  Oh, 
I  shall  spend  the  night  in  the  carriage  with  you,  and  hire 
a  cart  to-morrow  morning,"  he  replied,  looking  at  me 
attentively.  We  got  into  the  carriage  and  went  off  at  a 
quick  trot.  The  beauty  of  the  evening  was  enchanting. 
We  had  fishing-tackle  with  us,  and  Yevseitch  and  I  caught 
a  quantity  of  fish,  which  was  boiled  or  fried  for  our  supper  ; 
then  we  lay  down  in  the  carriage  to  sleep. 

Waking  early  next  morning,  I  saw  that  we  were  moving  ; 
the  sun  was  already  high  in  the  sky  ;  my  tutor  was  sitting 
in  the  carriage  opposite  to  me,  and  I  saw  he  was  laughing. 
I  burst  out  laughing  myself  and  confessed  that  I  had 
known  his  plan  all  the  time.  He  scolded  Yevseitch  for 
indiscretion ;  then,  reading  in  my  face  that  I  was  not 
quite  pleased,  he  said  :  "  You  are  afraid  that  I  shall 


106  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

interfere  with  your  amusements,  but  you  need  not  fear 
that :  I  shall  not  give  you  lessons  except  when  you  ask 
me  to  do  so  yourself.  We  might  just  as  well  read  some- 
thing now,  as  there  is  nothing  else  to  do  in  the  carriage  " 
—and  he  pulled  a  book  out  of  his  pocket.  I  was  quite 
comforted  by  his  words,  and  would  gladly  have  embraced 
him  ;  but  I  dared  not  even  think  of  taking  such  a  liberty. 
We  did  a  great  deal  of  work  on  that  journey  ;  besides,  I 
repeated  over  again  all  that  I  had  learnt,  and  I  talked  much 
more,  and  more  openly,  than  at  Kazan  ;  yet,  wherever  it 
was  possible  to  fish,  fish  I  did  to  my  heart's  content.  So 
we  travelled  on  till  we  reached  Aksakovo  on  the  fifth  day. 
My  tutor's  visit  was  a  most  pleasant  surprise  to  my 
mother  :  she  was  delighted  to  see  him. 

Though  we  did  not  at  all  expect  it,  we  found  the  house 
full  of  relations  and  visitors  and  a  great  bustle  going  on. 
My  aunt  Tatyana  was  going  to  be  married,  and  the 
wedding  was  fixed  for  a  few  days  later.  Though  now 
past  forty,  she  was  very  active  and  well-preserved.  She 
was  tired  of  living  in  her  brother's  house,  in  complete 
dependence  upon  her  sister-in-law,  who  in  days  gone  by 
had  suffered  much  at  the  hands  of  her  husband's  sisters  ; 
and  Tatyana,  though  she  was  better  than  the  rest,  was  not 
guiltless.  She  wished  to  spend  her  old  age  at  least  under 
her  own  roof,  and  to  be  mistress  in  her  own  house,  however 
small  that  house  might  be.  Her  future  husband  was 
Vassili  Ooglichinin,  who,  after  a  life  spent  in  the  army, 
had  recently  retired  as  lieutenant-colonel.  He  was  a 
very  simple  and  kindly  man,  of  an  honest  and  friendly 
nature.  He  was  well  over  fifty,  with  nothing  to  live  on 
but  his  pension  ;  he  belonged  to  a  very  poor  but  noble 
family,  which  had  migrated  to  the  district  of  Ufa.  He 
had  entered  the  army  at  fourteen  and  done  good  service 
in  his  quiet  way — taking  part  in  many  engagements  and 
receiving  several  slight  wounds.  He  had  struggled  with 
poverty  all  his  life  and  had  earned  no  distinctions,  though 
his  formal  discharge  was  so  long  and  eloquent  that  his 
breast  might  well  have  been  covered  with  medals.  His 
last  service  had  been  in  the  Caucasus ;  and  from  there 
he  had  brought  home  a  small  sum  saved  out  of  his  pay,  a 
uniform  without  epaulets,  a  hill-pony  so  old  that  his  coat 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  107 

had  turned  white,  rheumatism  in  every  joint,  and  cataract 
in  his  right  eye.  The  cataract  was  fortunately  not  very 
noticeable  ;  and  the  old  soldier  took  pains  to  hide  it, 
fearing  that  the  loss  of  an  eye  might  make  the  bride  draw 
back.  My  aunt  had  a  small  estate  of  twenty-five  serfs, 
within  seven  versts  of  where  her  sister  Alexandra  lived,  and 
a  small  house  on  the  estate.  The  house,  which  was  no 
more  than  two  peasants'  houses  run  together,  stood  on  the 
bank  of  a  stream  which  swarmed  with  trout — a  great 
attraction  in  my  eyes  !  She  owned  a  suitable  amount  of 
excellent  land  with  all  the  usual  accessories — land  which 
had  been  bought  for  her  from  the  Bashkirs  for  almost 
nothing.  To  the  retired  soldier  this  modest  domain 
seemed  a  haven  of  rest ;  and  to  an  old  man  half  a  loaf 
was  better  than  no  bread. 

There  was  much  secret  laughter  at  the  expense  of  an 
old  and  one-eyed  bridegroom,  but  my  parents  and  my 
tutor  took  no  share  in  it :  they  always  treated  him  with 
respect  and  cordiality.  Evil  tongues  accounted  for  my 
mother's  behaviour  by  saying  that  she  wished  to  get  rid 
of  her  sister-in-law.  But  that  was  false  :  my  mother 
never  failed,  in  appreciation  and  respect  for  simple  and 
guileless  people  ;  she  honestly  advised  my  aunt  to  marry 
this  worthy  man,  and  my  aunt  was  grateful  to  her  for 
that  advice  till  the  day  of  her  death.  Kartashevsky, 
who  shared  my  mother's  feeling,  took  special  pleasure  in 
conversing  with  the  veteran,  who  was  excessively  silent 
as  a  rule,  but  readily  answered  his  questions  and  told  us 
much  that  was  curious  and  entertaining.  My  tutor  lost 
no  time  in  enlisting  my  interest  and  sympathy  for  this 
character,  explaining  to  me  those  merits  which  I  was  too 
young  to  notice  and  understand. 

There  was  no  room  in  the  house  for  male  visitors  ; 
and  even  the  ladies  were  accommodated  with  difficulty, 
because  three  rooms  were  given  up  to  the  future  bride 
and  bridegroom.  In  this  difficulty  my  mother  took  a 
step,  for  which  her  husband's  relations  never  forgave  her. 
Her  own  bedroom,  which  no  one  outside  the  family  ever 
dared  even  to  enter,  she  gave  up  to  my  tutor  and  put  me 
there  with  him ;  of  course  we  left  it  as  soon  as  the  party 
broke  up.  The  marriage  took  place  with  no  hitch  on  the 


108  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

appointed  day.  My  father  went  with  the  pair  to  their 
new  abode,  and  came  back  at  once.  At  last  we  were  left 
alone  and  had  our  house  to  ourselves. 

But  here  I  break  the  thread  of  my  narrative  to  run 
on  ahead  a  little.  For  the  married  life  of  my  uncle  and 
aunt  rises  up  so  vividly  before  me  that  I  want  to  say  some- 
thing about  it. 

After  her  marriage,  my  aunt  became  familiar  with  the 
troubles  of  poverty,  of  which  she  had  known  nothing 
during  her  girlhood  in  her  father's  house,  or  under  the  roof 
of  my  parents ;  but  she  was  perfectly  happy.  She  felt  a 
tender  and  passionate  love  for  her  old  colonel,  and  his 
love  for  her  was  no  less  deep  and  tender.  Unfortunately 
they  had  no  children.  My  aunt  lived  to  be  very  old  ; 
but  a  kind  of  maidenly  modesty  clung  to  her  till  the  last. 
She  was  rather  ceremonious  in  addressing  her  husband, 
and  suppressed  every  sign  of  affection  for  him,  when  a 
third  person  was  present,  though  the  old  soldier  would 
sometimes  give  a  sly  hint  that  the  lady  was  not  always 
quite  so  prudish.  Be  that  as  it  may,  in  company  they 
were  always  distant  and  polite  to  one  another,  never 
saying  "  thou  "  but  always  "  you."  A  casual  observer 
might  have  taken  this  for  coldness  ;  but  soon  one  became 
aware  of  a  different  state  of  things — a  solicitous  attention 
on  both  sides,  a  constant  observation,  an  instant  sym- 
pathy in  each  other's  every  word  and  movement ;  and  it 
became  clear  to  all  that  husband  and  wife  drew  from  each 
other  the  very  breath  of  life.  If  there  was  any  difference 
in  their  feeling,  it  was  that  the  husband's  love  was  less 
easily  alarmed.  Their  little  house  shone  like  a  new  pin  ; 
it  breathed  of  peace  and  attracted  the  visitor  by  its 
cosiness.  It  cannot  be  said  that  they  had  similar  tastes  ; 
but,  in  their  case,  differences  only  met  to  make  the  course 
of  life  run  more  smoothly.  For  example,  my  aunt  liked 
cats  and  dogs  in  the  house  ;  and  it  must  be  stated  that  her 
pets,  for  some  reason,  were  guilty  of  no  nuisance  and  never 
tore  or  spoilt  anything  belonging  to  her.  My  uncle  did 
not  like  them  at  all;  yet  even  "Kalmuck,"  a  hideous 
lapdog  that  snuffled  and  lolled  out  its  tongue  at  one  corner 
of  its  mouth,  was  pleasant  and  actually  dear  to  him, 
because  she  loved  it ;  and  he  fed  and  caressed  this  repulsive 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  109 

animal  with  satisfaction  and  gratitude.  Then  there  was 
a  marmot  which  passed  the  winter  under  the  stove  ;  it 
was  the  source  of  much  amusement  to  my  aunt  and  as 
much  annoyance  to  my  uncle,  because  it  carried  off  his 
slippers  and  hid  them  so  cleverly  that  they  were  often 
missing  for  a  whole  day,  and  the  poor  colonel  had  to  step 
out  of  bed  in  the  morning  with  bare  feet ;  yet  even  the 
marmot  enjoyed  his  favour.  In  their  little  house  every- 
thing was  in  its  place,  and  everything  seemed  to  be  some- 
how better  than  in  other  people's  houses  :  their  dogs 
and  cats  were  sleeker  and  cleaner,  their  cage-birds  sang 
louder  and  more  gaily,  their  plants  were  greener.  If  you 
gave  them  some  half-withered  stick  in  a  flower-pot,  the 
plant  at  once  revived,  put  forth  green  leaves,  and  grew 
so  splendidly  that  you  wanted  to  have  it  back  again.  In 
her  small  rooms,  my  aunt  grew  vines  from  seed,  palms, 
and  other  plants  that  need  heat.  The  atmosphere  seemed 
to  have  something  calming  and  life-giving  in  it,  something 
suited  to  beast  and  plant,  which  made  up  in  some  degree 
for  the  loss  of  freedom  or  native  climate.  Together  they 
attended  to  the  management  of  their  small  estate ;  and, 
without  any  pressure  on  their  part,  all  the  work  was  done 
twice  as  quick  and  twice  as  well  as  it  was  done  elsewhere. 
Together  they  walked  out  to  pick  mushrooms  and  berries  ; 
together  they  angled  for  the  fine  trout  in  their  little 
stream ;  and  together  they  rejoiced  over  each  fish  they 
caught.  But,  if  one  of  them  chanced  to  have  a  slight 
illness,  what  was  the  state  of  matters  then  !  At  once 
there  came  to  the  surface  that  deep  and  tender  mutual 
affection  which  might  easily  escape  notice  in  the  ordinary 
course  of  life. 

But  I  shall  refrain  from  further  details  which  might 
carry  me  too  far  afield.  I  shall  only  say,  that,  when  later 
in  life  I  sometimes  paid  a  visit  to  this  remote  corner  and 
watched  for  a  few  hours  this  simple  modest  existence,  it 
always  made  a  deep  impression  upon  me,  and  I  wondered 
whether  this  was  not  the  true  happiness  for  man — a  life 
without  passions  and  excitements,  a  life  undisturbed  by 
insoluble  questions  and  unsatisfied  desires.  The  peace  and 
order  of  their  life  remained  long  with  me  ;  I  felt  a  vague 
agitation  and  regret  for  the  lack  of  something  so  near  at 


110  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

hand  and  so  easily  procured ;  but,  whenever  I  put  to 
myself  the  question,  "  Would  you  like  to  be  what  your 
uncle  is  ?  "  — I  was  afraid  to  reply,  and  my  feeling  of 
agitation  vanished  instantly. 

My  father  kept  his  promise  to  me  :  he  had  got  me  a 
light  gun,  very  handy  in  the  stock  and  prettily  finished  ; 
it  was  inlaid  with  silver,  the  sights  were  of  silver,  and  the 
barrel  tapered  like  those  of  the  English  guns  then  used 
by  sportsmen.  He  had  picked  it  up  for  fifteen  roubles, 
but,  though  only  of  Tula l  manufacture,  it  was  worth 
two  or  three  times  as  much,  even  at  the  prices  of  those 
days  :  it  did  very  good  work  at  fifty  yards.  With  my 
first  shot  I  killed  a  crow,  and  that  settled  my  fate  :  I  went 
mad  over  shooting.  Next  day  I  shot  a  duck  and  two 
snipe,  and  my  madness  was  confirmed.  Fishing  and 
hawking  were  forgotten ;  carried  away  by  my  natural 
excitability,  I  ran  about  with  the  gun  all  that  day  and 
dreamt  of  the  gun  all  night.  It  was  just  the  same  on  the 
days  that  followed.  My  tutor  never  saw  me  except  for 
a  moment,  and  then  I  was  busy  and  in  a  hurry  ;  he  looked 
forward  to  a  time  when  I  should  ask  him  for  some  work 
to  do  ;  but  that  time  never  came. 

He  then  told  my  mother  of  our  agreement,  and  she 
issued  her  orders  to  me  :  I  was  to  ask  my  tutor  to  set  me 
some  tasks  to  be  done  under  his  supervision  for  two 
hours  every  day.  Though  this  requirement  went  much 
against  the  grain,  I  obeyed.  At  first  my  tutor  could  not 
help  laughing  at  my  dismal  face  and  dejected  figure.  I 
opened  a  French  book  and  began  to  translate.  But  I  was 
too  distracted  to  attend  to  what  I  was  reading  :  visions 
of  ducks  and  snipe  passed  before  my  eyes,  and  their  cries 
rang  in  my  ears,  ^fhen  I  began  to  blunder  in  translating, 
my  tutor  frowned,  took  the  book  from  me,  and  walked 
about  the  room  from  corner  to  corner  for  a  whole  hour, 
giving  me  a  serious  lecture  and  urging  me  to  conquer  the 
dangerous  habit  which  made  me  forget  everything  else 
in  my  passionate  devotion  to  some  amusement.  But 
alas  !  I  neither  heard  nor  understood  a  single  word  : 
his  eloquent  phrases,  just  sentiments,  and  convincing 
arguments,  were  all  wasted.  Seeing  that  his  appeal  had 
1  Tula  is,  or  used  to  be,  the  Birmingham  of  Russia. 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  111 

failed,  he  tried  another  plan  :  he  left  me  in  perfect  freedom 
for  a  whole  week,  to  run  about  with  my  gun  from  morning 
till  night,  till  I  was  tired  out  and  fit  to  drop.  He  hoped 
that  I  should  come  round  of  myself,  that  bodily  fatigue 
and  an  overdose  of  this  new  amusement  would  restore  me 
to  my  senses.  But  he  was  mistaken.  I  ate  little  and 
slept  badly ;  I  grew  as  brown  as  a  gipsy  and  lost  flesh 
visibly  ;  but  I  never  stopped  shooting. 

But  now  my  tutor,  fearing  for  my  health,  took  decisive 
steps,  which  my  mother  had  suggested  some  time  before, 
though  she  wished  to  leave  my  tutor  a  free  hand  :  my 
gun  was  hung  up  on  the  wall,  and  I  was  forbidden  to  go 
out  shooting.  I  am  both  amused  and  ashamed  when  I 
think  of  the  way  I  spent  the  first  twenty-four  hours.  I 
cried  and  even  yelled  like  a  child  of  three  ;  I  rolled  on  the 
floor  and  tore  my  hair ;  I  very  nearly  tore  up  my  books 
and  papers  ;  indeed  nothing  but  my  mother's  grief  and 
my  father's  gentle  remonstrances  saved  me  from  acting 
like  a  fool  and  a  madman.  Next  day  I  came  to  myself, 
as  it  were  ;  and  on  the  third  day  I  was  able  to  study  and 
to  read  my  favourite  poets  aloud  with  attention  and 
enjoyment.  On  the  fourth  day  I  had  calmed  down  alto- 
gether, and  then  the  cloud  lifted  for  the  first  time  from 
the  face  of  my  tutor.  Till  then  he  had  hardly  spoken  to 
me  ;  he  had  only  looked  at  me  with  an  expression  either 
of  displeasure  or  of  insulting  pity.  But  now  he  showed 
sympathy  for  me  and  spoke  words  of  indulgence  and 
wisdom  ;  and  this  time  his  efforts  were  entirely  successful. 
Angry  with  myself  and  ashamed  almost  to  tears,  I  now 
ran  from  one  extreme  to  the  other  and  wished  to  give  up 
the  gun  for  good.  But  this  did  not  please  him  either  : 
he  disapproved  of  my  intention,  and  insisted  that  I  should 
go  out  shooting  every  day  from  breakfast  to  dinner  or 
from  dinner  till  evening,  and  that  I  should  work  diligently 
three  or  four  hours  a  day,  especially  at  history  and 
geography,  in  which  I  was  rather  weaker  than  my  chief 
rivals  at  school.  And  so  the  time  flowed  by  in  pleasant 
and  regular  occupation. 

During  this  month  it  was  possible  for  my  parents  to 
enjoy  frank  and  friendly  conversation  without  interrup- 
tions ;  and  this  increased  their  appreciation  and  regard  for 


112  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

Kartashevsky,  in  whom  penetrating  intellect  and  high 
qualities  of  character  were  combined  with  many-sided 
culture  and  sound  learning.  My  mother  used  all  her 
power  over  me,  to  make  me  understand  the  character  of 
the  man  whom  fortune  had  appointed  to  be  my  instructor. 
She  considered  this  to  be  a  special  instance  of  God's 
goodness.  I  understood  her  meaning,  and  I  had  a  strong 
feeling  of  the  truth  of  her  words.  I  assured  her — though 
unfortunately  I  could  never  quite  convince  her — that 
I  was  myself  warmly  attached  to  him ;  that,  though 
rny  attention  was  distracted  at  home  by  my  favourite  pur- 
suits and  especially  by  the  hitherto  unknown  delights  of 
shooting,  at  Kazan  my  one  thought  was  to  gain  the  love 
and  approval  of  my  tutor,  and  one  kind  word  from  him 
made  me  entirely  happy. 

My  dear  sister,  who  was  also  my  bosom  friend,  was 
growing  taller  and  prettier  at  a  surprising  rate.  Though 
she  could  no  longer  share  my  outdoor  amusements  and 
occupations  or  spend  so  much  of  her  time  with  me,  she 
bore  this  deprivation  patiently  when  she  saw  how  happy 
I  was  ;  but  she  complained  of  the  time  I  spent  over 
lessons,  and  this  was  probably  the  reason  why  she  did  not 
look  with  favour  on  my  teacher.1 

We  left  Aksakovo  on  the  10th  of  August  and  arrived  at 
Kazan  on  the  15th  without  any  misadventures.  It  was 
a  surprise  to  me  when  Kartashevsky  that  same  day  told 
me  not  to  attend  classes  in  the  school,  and  made  out  a 
programme  of  work  for  me  to  do  at  home.  But  he  went 
off  himself  every  morning  to  meetings  of  the  Governors 
and  stayed  there  a  long  time  ;  he  acted  as  their  honorary 
secretary.  Five  days  later,  he  told  me  that  many  of  the 
boys  had  not  turned  up  yet,  and  there  was  little  doing 
in  the  way  of  teaching  ;  then  he  proposed  that  we  should 
go  to  Zapolsky's  country-house,  to  enjoy  an  extra  holiday 
and  do  some  work  for  a  week  or  so.  This  was  a  still  greater 
surprise,  but  I  was  much  pleased.  In  the  country  we 
spent,  not  a  week  but  more  than  a  fortnight ;  my  tutor 
drove  to  Kazan  several  times,  starting  early  and  returning 
for  a  late  dinner.  I  asked  no  questions  about  these  visits. 

1  Vet  she  became  his  wife  twelve  years  later:  see  note  to  p.  75.  He 
was  her  second  husband. 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  113 

We  returned  at  last  to  Kazan,  and  he  told  me  the  next 
day  to  begin  my  attendance  at  school.  I  went  off  in  good 
spirits,  but  my  school-fellows  met  me  with  glum  faces  and 
told  me  of  an  unfortunate  affair  that  had  taken  place. 
I  shall  tell  it  here. 

I  should  begin  by  saying  that  Likhachoff,  the  Rector 
of  the  school,  was  a  very  bad  Rector  and  also  the  possessor 
of  a  ludicrous  personality  which  was  not  calculated  to 
inspire  respect :  for  one  thing,  his  lower  lip  was  as  large 
and  swollen  as  if  it  had  been  bitten  by  a  poisonous  fly  or 
stung  by  a  wasp.  Neither  masters  nor  boys  had  any 
respect  for  him ;  and,  even  before  I  went  home  for  the 
summer  holidays,  he  was  hooted  by  the  boys  one  day 
when  he  was  walking  about  the  dining-hall  during  dinner  ; 
the  cause  of  irritation  was  the  quality  of  the  porridge, 
in  which  some  boy  had  found  a  piece  of  tallow  candle. 
That  same  night,  inscriptions  in  abuse  of  the  Rector, 
boldly  written  with  red  pencil  in  large  printed  characters, 
appeared  on  many  of  the  inside  walls,  on  the  outer  walls, 
and  even  on  the  cupola  of  the  building.  These  inscriptions 
were  so  high  up  that  the  artist  must  have  used  a  ladder, 
and  the  inscription  on  the  cupola  was  recognised  as  a 
triumph  of  boldness  and  agility.  Neither  then  nor  later 
were  the  culprits  discovered ;  even  now  I  do  not  know 
who  did  the  writing.  And  now  for  later  events. 

A  few  days  before  I  returned  with  my  tutor  from 
Aksakovo,  and  when  most  of  the  boys  had  already  come 
back,  an  official,  known  for  some  reason  as  "  quarter- 
master," who  had  once  served  in  the  army  and  controlled 
all  the  old  soldiers  employed  about  the  school,  got  angry 
with  one  of  his  subordinates  and  proceeded  to  thrash  him 
without  mercy.  This  took  place  in  the  back  yard,  which 
was  divided  from  the  front  yard,  where  the  boys  could 
play  in  their  free  time,  by  a  wooden  boarding  ;  and,  as 
it  was  after  dinner,  the  boys  were  all  there  at  the  time. 
The  sufferer's  loud  cries  aroused  such  pity  in  their  young 
hearts,  that  Alexander  Knyazhevitch  and  some  other  boys 
of  the  Senior  Class  passed  through  the  gate  into  the 
back  yard,  in  contravention  of  the  rules,  and  called  loudly 
on  the  quartermaster  to  drop  his  stick.  But  this  attack 
on  his  authority  made  the  man  furious  :  he  began  to  shout 

H 


114  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

abuse  in  the  foulest  terms  at  the  boys,  and  Alexander 
Knyazhevitch,  a  very  kind-hearted  boy  and  therefore 
more  excited  than  the  rest,  as  he  was  in  front,  bore  the 
brunt  of  all  this  bad  language.  When  the  noise  of  the 
contention  reached  their  ears,  all  the  Senior  Class  made 
an  appearance  in  the  back  yard,  and  others  followed  them. 
The  elder  Knyazhevitch,  Dmitri,  recognising  the  voice  of 
his  brother  to  whom  he  was  much  attached,  was  the  first 
to  hurry  to  the  scene  ;  naturally  hot-tempered,  he  eagerly 
espoused  the  cause  of  his  insulted  brother,  and  the  other 
boys  backed  him  with  one  accord.  As  may  be  supposed, 
there  was  no  lack  of  forcible  expressions  and  threats  ; 
the  quartermaster  soon  found  himself  obliged  to  drop  his 
disciplinary  proceedings  and  beat  a  hasty  retreat.  This 
trifling  incident,  due  to  a  praiseworthy  feeling  of  pity  for 
suffering  and  then  to  reasonable  anger  at  grossly  insolent 
language,  led  to  very  lamentable  consequences,  simply 
because  it  was  misunderstood  and  mismanaged  by  the 
Rector. 

The  Senior  Class  began  by  submitting  a  humble  petition 
in  writing  :  they  asked  that  the  quartermaster  should  be 
dismissed  for  cruelty  and  insolence.  The  Rector  refused 
to  grant  this  petition :  he  threw  all  the  blame  on  the 
boys  and  even  sentenced  some  of  them  to  some  form  of 
punishment.  This  injustice  naturally  produced  irritation : 
their  respectful  petition  had  been  refused,  and  now  the 
boys  took  to  persistent  demands  and  infringements  of 
the  established  rules.  The  Senior  Class  struck  work  and 
refused  to  attend  any  classes  until  their  enemy  was  re- 
moved from  the  school ;  and  the  other  two  forms  soon 
made  common  cause  with  their  seniors.  As  the  trouble 
was  chiefly  due  in  its  origin  to  the  insulting  language 
addressed  to  Alexander  Knyazheviteh,  it  was  natural  that 
his  brother,  Dmitri,  who  took  the  lead  in  every  depart- 
ment of  school  life  and  was  very  popular,  should  become 
the  leader  in  this  movement.  The  Rector  played  a 
cowardly  part :  he  dared  not  show  himself  to  the  boys  ; 
and,  when  he  had  to  attend  a  meeting  of  the  governors, 
he  came  by  a  back  entrance,  passing  through  Yakovnin's 
rooms ;  but  he  sent  various  envoys  to  remonstrate  with 
the  rebels,  and  all  these  remonstrances  proved  ineffectual. 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  115 

Upadishevsky  was  loved  for  his  kindness  and  respected 
by  the  boys  ;  and,  if  he  had  been  acting  as  headmaster 
at  the  time  the  whole  of  this  unfortunate  affair  would 
have  been  smothered  at  birth ;  but  he  had  gone  away 
some  weeks  earlier  owing  to  ill-health,  and  his  substitute 
was  a  mere  cipher. 

For  three  days  the  affair  dragged  on  in  the  same  un- 
settled state.  On  the  fourth  day,  the  boys  found  out 
that  the  Rector  was  attending  a  meeting  of  the  governors  ; 
they  first  posted  a  guard  at  the  back  entrance  and  then 
proceeded  in  a  body  to  the  door  of  the  board-room,  where 
they  loudly  demanded  that  the  quartermaster  should 
be  discharged.  The  Rector  tried  to  leave  the  building, 
but  was  told  that  his  line  of  retreat  was  cut  off  by  the 
boys  posted  at  the  back  door.  This  news  threw  him  into 
such  alarm  and  agitation  that  he  gave  orders  on  the  spot 
to  draw  up  a  resolution  for  the  discharge  of  the  offend- 
ing quartermaster ;  and  the  resolution  was  read  out  to 
the  boys.  The  effect  was  immediate  :  the  rebels  calmed 
down  at  once,  expressed  their  thanks  to  the  authorities, 
and  ceased  from  their  mutinous  behaviour.  Order  was 
restored,  and  the  ordinary  routine  of  school  life  began 
again.  At  first  it  was  supposed  that  this  incident  would 
not  lead  to  any  further  developments ;  but  this  belief 
was  quite  mistaken.  The  Rector  reported  the  case  at 
once  in  the  highest  quarters,  and  then,  acting  on  some 
advice,  he  entered  into  relations  with  the  Governor  of 
Kazan,  and  took  the  following  measures.  A  few  days 
later,  during  dinner-time,  a  party  of  soldiers  armed  with 
rifles  and  bayonets  entered  the  hall,  and  were  followed 
immediately  by  the  Governor  and  the  Rector.  The 
latter  then  called  out  by  name  sixteen  boys  of  the  Senior 
Class,  including  of  course  the  elder  Knyazhevitch,  and 
ordered  them  to  be  taken  to  the  school  prison  under  the 
escort  of  armed  soldiers.  All  the  other  boys  were  horror- 
struck,  and  dead  silence  reigned  in  the  hall.  Two  soldiers 
armed  with  bayonets  were  posted  at  each  outer  door  of 
the  school,  and  four  at  the  door  of  the  prison. 

I  heard  the  whole  story  a  fortnight  after  it  occurred, 
when  I  came  back  after  the  holidays,  or,  I  should  say, 
when  I  returned  from  Zapolsky's  house,  and  joined  the 


116  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

depleted  ranks  of  the  Senior  Class  to  which  I  now  belonged. 
The  other  boys  told  me  the  bad  news  at  once.  And  now 
it  flashed  upon  me  why  my  prudent  tutor  had  first  pre- 
vented me  from  going  into  school  and  then  carried  me 
off  with  him  to  the  country.  Had  I  been  on  the  spot,  I 
should  beyond  all  doubt  have  been  one  of  the  most  active 
sharers  in  this  unlucky  affair.  Six  weeks  later  the  de- 
cision of  the  central  authority  was  delivered  at  Kazan. 
Again  the  Governor  appeared  in  the  dining-hall,  accom- 
panied by  the  Rector  and  other  governors  of  the  school ; 
and  a  document  was  read,  setting  forth  the  guilt  of  the 
rebellious  boys,  and  declaring  that,  as  an  example  to 
the  rest,  eight  of  the  Senior  Class,  who  were  considered 
the  ringleaders,  were  expelled  from  the  school  without  a 
certificate  of  character.  The  victims  were  the  best  students 
of  the  class  ;  Dmitri  Knyazhevitch,  who  was  one  of  the 
eight,  we  considered  the  ornament  and  pride  of  the  school. 
We  were  all  deeply  impressed  and  sorely  grieved  by  the 
sentence  ;  when  it  had  been  executed,  the  sentries  were 
withdrawn,  and  the  state  of  siege  which  we  strongly 
resented  came  to  an  end. 

The  Rector  was  removed  from  his  place  soon  after- 
wards, and  was  succeeded  by  the  senior  teacher, 
Yakovnin.  Dmitri  Knyazhevitch  long  kept  up  a  close 
connection  with  his  school-fellows.  He  entered  the  public 
service  at  Petersburg,  and  wrote  to  his  brother  by  every 
post ;  sometimes  he  addressed  his  communications  to  us 
all,  and  then  his  letters  were  solemnly  read  aloud  in  the 
hearing  of  the  whole  form.  After  a  period  of  sadness 
and  silence,  the  youthful  population  of  the  school  began 
by  degrees  to  recover  their  spirits  and  to  forget  the  pain- 
ful affair  :  the  old  noisy  activity  returned,  the  old  laughing 
and  singing  was  heard  again,  and  life  sped  forward  as 
if  nothing  had  happened. 

My  work  in  school  and  at  home  went  on  quietly  till 
midwinter  under  the  steady  supervision  and  direction  of 
my  tutor ;  but  at  that  time  my  uncle  Alexander,  my 
mother's  brother,  paid  a  visit  to  Kazan  and  took  me 
twice  to  the  theatre,  of  course  with  my  tutor's  permission. 
We  saw  an  opera  and  a  comedy — the  latter  was  called 
A  Sister  sold  by  a  Brother — and  the  effect  of  these  two 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  117 

performances  upon  me  was  nearly  as  strong  as  the  effect 
of  my  first  day's  shooting.  I  had  a  special  passion  for 
dramatic  compositions,  and  had  formed  from  what  I 
heard  some  notion  of  their  performance  upon  the  stage. 
But  the  reality  far  surpassed  my  anticipations.  The 
two  performances  I  had  seen  filled  my  head  day  and  night, 
and  I  found  it  utterly  impossible  to  concentrate  my 
attention  upon  my  books.  Of  course  my  tutor  noticed 
this  at  once,  and  his  questions  soon  elicited  the  true 
reason.  He  frowned  and  showed  displeasure  at  this  new 
folly  on  my  part ;  and  once  more  I  had  to  listen  to  a 
long  lecture.  But  I  felt  the  justice  of  his  rebukes  this 
time  ;  for  I  understood  the  danger  of  my  tendency  to  be 
carried  away  beyond  all  bounds  by  the  things  I  cared  for. 
My  passion  for  the  theatre  was  the  natural  development 
of  a  tendency  which  had  shown  itself  from  early  years  in 
my  love  of  recitation  and  of  plays,  either  Russian  or 
French ;  but  I  made  a  great  effort  and  succeeded  in 
checking  the  rising  flame.  I  calmed  down  and  applied 
myself  with  more  than  ordinary  zeal  to  my  tasks. 

My  tutor  was  much  pleased.  When  a  week  had 
passed,  he  started  a  conversation  about  the  stage  and  the 
art  of  acting,  in  which  he  gave  me  some  real  notion  of  the 
subject  and  told  me  stories  of  many  famous  actors,  both 
living  and  dead,  Russians  and  foreigners  ;  for  instance. 
I  heard  of  the  Moscow  actors,  Shusherin  and  Plavilshchi- 
koff.  These  conversations,  so  delightful  to  me,  went  on 
for  three  days  during  the  hours  of  recreation.  Then,  one 
happy  day,  when  I  had  come  back  from  school  and  was 
drinking  my  evening  tea,  my  tutor  opened  my  door  and 
said  in  a  cheerful  voice  :  "  You  have  got  to  drive  some- 
where with  me  at  once  :  be  quick  and  get  done  with  that 
milk  and  water  !  "  (I  was  very  fond  of  milk  and  used 
to  put  so  much  in  my  tea  that  my  tutor  often  called  it 
milk  and  water.)  I  was  ready  in  a  moment,  and  we  got 
into  a  sledge  and  started.  I  felt  sure  that  we  were  going 
to  call  on  M.  Voskresensky  ;  his  son  was  at  school  with 
me,  and  my  tutor  sometimes  took  me  to  their  house.  At 
a  turning,  the  driver  was  told  to  go  straight  down  Georgia 
Street ;  I  was  surprised,  for  this  was  not  the  way  I 
expected.  A  few  minutes  later  we  were  opposite  the 


118  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

theatre,  and  the  order  came,  "  To  the  theatre  entrance." 
When  we  got  there,  my  tutor  sprang  out  of  the  sledge, 
but  I  was  so  stunned  by  the  joyful  prospect  that  I  sat 
stock-still.  He  could  not  help  laughing :  "  Well,"  he 
said,  "  don't  you  want  to  come  ?  " — and  I  took  a  flying 
leap  to  the  ground.  Tickets  had  been  taken  beforehand  ; 
we  went  in  and  sat  together  in  the  front  row  of  the  stalls. 
An  opera  called  The  Pork-butchers  was  performed.  How 
intensely  I  enjoyed  that  evening  !  At  this  moment  I 
can  see  before  me  Mihail  Kalmikoff  who  played  the 
leading  part  of  the  old  pork-butcher ;  and  I  can  hear 
Pritkoff  singing  to  the  guitar,  though  in  fact  he  only  opened 
his  mouth  while  an  actress  behind  the  scenes  sang  the 
music,  and  I  remember  some  of  the  words — 

"  O  loved  one  in  whose  chains  I  lie, 
Hark  to  thy  captive's  plaintive  cry  ! " 

Yet  more  than  fifty  years  have  passed  since  that 
evening,  and  during  all  that  time  I  have  never  once  heard 
the  opera  of  The  Pork-butchers  mentioned  ! 

On  our  way  home  I  thanked  my  tutor  heartily,  and  he 
pleased  me  by  saying  that  this  treat  was  a  reward  for  my 
sensible  behaviour,  and  that,  if  The  Pork-butchers  did  not 
upset  me,  he  would  take  me  to  the  theatre  from  time  to 
time.  To  tell  the  truth,  The  Pork-butchers  did  fill  my 
thoughts  and  upset  me  to  some  extent ;  but  I  tried  hard 
to  hide  my  state  of  mind,  and  got  on  so  well  with  my 
work,  thanks  to  an  exceptionally  strong  memory,  that  my 
tutor  remained  quite  in  the  dark.  In  the  course  of  a 
short  time  I  saw  a  good  many  plays — The  Hobbledehoy, 
Mistakes,  or  Morning  Thoughts  are  Wisest,  an  opera  called 
Nina,  or  The  Crazed  Lover,  and  Count  Valtron,  a  play  by 
Kotzebue.  My  love  of  the  stage  grew  and  strengthened 
every  day.  I  learnt  by  heart  the  plays  I  had  seen,  and 
found  time  to  perform  all  the  parts  with  myself  for 
audience.  Of  this  my  tutor  knew  nothing ;  for  I  shut 
myself  up  in  my  own  room  for  the  purpose,  or  used  a  part 
of  the  house  which  was  uninhabited  and  unheated. 

In  this  winter  of  1804  I  began  an  intimacy  with  another 
pensioner  at  the  school,  Alexander  Panayeff,  who  was  like 
me  a  lover  of  the  stage  and  of  Russian  literature.  Being 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  119 

a  worshipper  of  Karamzin,  he  wrote  prose  idylls,  in 
which  he  tried  to  reproduce  the  smooth  and  florid  style 
created  by  the  historian.  His  brother  Ivan  was  a  lyric 
poet.  Alexander  Panayeff  was  editor  at  that  time  of 
a  manuscript  magazine  called  Shepherds  of  Arcadia,  of 
which  I  still  preserve  several  numbers.  All  the  contribu- 
tors signed  their  writings  with  pastoral  names — Adonis, 
Daphnis,  Amyntas,  Iris,  Damon,  Palaemon,  and  so  on. 
As  Alexander  Panayeff  was  a  skilful  penman  and  artist, 
he  used  to  write  and  illustrate  with  his  own  hand  each 
monthly  number  of  his  magazine.  To  tell  the  truth,  as 
we  were  children  then,  so  was  our  national  literature  in 
its  childhood  ;  but  it  is  worth  remarking  that  the  tendency 
and  style  of  this  magazine  were  exactly  the  same  as 
those  which  prevailed  in  Russia  for  some  decades  after 
this  date. 

I  took  no  share  in  the  editing  of  this  magazine,  because, 
thanks  to  the  exertions  of  my  tutor,  I  was  not  yet  an 
author.  But  alas  !  the  example  proved  very  seductive, 
and  I  began  to  write  a  little  in  secret,  though  I  kept  it 
dark  even  from  my  intimate  friend,  Panayeff.  A  year 
later,  he  and  I  were  joint  editors  of  another  magazine 
which  will  be  described  hereafter.  In  this  same  winter 
amateur  theatricals  took  place  in  the  school,  and  a  tire- 
some priggish  play  whose  name  I  forget  was  performed 
twice,  and  also  a  little  comedy  by  Sumardkoff,  A  Dowry 
Gained  by  Deceit.  I  was  only  a  spectator  ;  for  many  older 
boys  wished  to  act,  and  also  I  did  not  venture  even  to 
hint  at  such  a  step  to  my  tutor.  But  the  next  year, 
which  was  to  bring  about  a  development  of  my  dramatic 
and  literary  doings  at  school,  proved  that  I  was  mistaken 
about  my  tutor's  feelings. 

For  nearly  a  year  reports  had  been  going  about  that  a 
University  was  to  be  founded  at  Kazan.  The  reports 
turned  out  to  be  true,  and  in  December  1804  the  official 
announcement  was  received,  that  a  charter  for  the 
University  had  been  signed  by  the  Emperor  on  the 
5th  of  November.  A  Chancellor  was  appointed — Stepan 
Rumovsky,  a  high  political  official ;  and  he  came  to 
Kazan.  This  event,  which  caused  much  excitement  in 
the  town,  was  even  more  interesting  to  the  school  and 


120  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

especially  to  the  Senior  Class.  Meetings  were  held  daily, 
with  Rumovsky  as  chairman ;  and  the  other  members 
were  Professor  Herman  and  Professor  Tseplin  who  had 
come  with  the  Chancellor,  Yakovnin  the  Rector  of  the 
school,  and  all  the  senior  teachers.  Of  their  proceedings 
I  and  my  school-fellows  knew  nothing.  But  one  evening 
there  was  a  large  dinner-party  at  my  tutor's  house,  which 
included  the  two  outside  professors,  the  Chancellor's 
secretary,  and  all  the  senior  teachers  of  the  school  except 
Yakovnin.  They  met  at  a  fairly  late  hour  when  I  was 
already  in  bed.  It  was  a  gay  and  noisy  party  and  kept 
me  awake  for  a  long  time,  as  I  listened  to  them  talk- 
ing loudly  and  exchanging  congratulations  :  they  were 
speaking  of  the  new  University  and  of  the  appointment 
of  teachers  in  the  school  to  be  professors  and  assistant 
professors.  Next  morning  Yevseitch  told  me  that  the 
party  went  on  till  three  in  the  morning,  that  a  great  deal 
of  wine  and  punch  had  been  drunk,  and  that  many  of 
the  guests  were  decidedly  cheerful  when  they  left.  He 
added  that  Kartashevsky,  though  he  had  been  forced  to 
drink  a  great  deal,  showed  no  sign  of  it — "  was  not  drunk 
even  in  one  eye  "  was  the  precise  expression  of  Yevseitch. 
Never  had  our  sober  mansion  witnessed  such  a  scene 
before ;  and  Yevseitch  and  I  were  very  much  surprised. 
But  the  cause  of  it  was  now  clear.  Yevseitch  had  over- 
heard— and  indeed  I  could  tell  him  as  much  myself—- 
that my  tutor  was  appointed  assistant  professor  in  the 
new  University,  together  with  Zapolsky,  Levitsky,  and 
Erich.  From  their  conversation  I  learnt  further,  that 
Yakovnin  had  been  appointed  to  a  full  professorship 
of  Russian  History,  and  was  also  to  act  as  inspector  of 
Government  students.  His  colleagues  unanimously  dis- 
approved of  this  appointm  .-.nt :  they  thought  Yakovnin 
deficient  in  learning,  and  that  he  had  not  earned  such 
rapid  promotion.  They  were  talking  about  the  students, 
when  I  heard  my  tutor  say  in  a  loud  voice,  "  For  my 
Telemachus,  gentlemen,  I  will  go  bail."  I  guessed  at  once 
that  it  was  intended  to  admit  me  to  the  University.  Such 
a  thing  was  quite  beyond  my  hopes,  because  I  had  not 
completed  the  course  in  the  Senior  Class  and  also  knew  no 
mathematics. 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  121 

My  tutor  was  still  in  bed  when  I  went  to  school  next 
morning.  I  made  haste  to  tell  the  news  to  my  companions, 
but  they  had  all  heard  it  already  from  Yakovnin's  son, 
a  very  stupid  and  terribly  fat  boy.  He  boasted  that  he 
would  be  admitted  too,  but  we  all  laughed  at  the  idea. 
The  top  boys  in  the  Senior  Class,  who  had  gone  through 
the  course  of  study  twice,  naturally  hoped  for  promotion 
to  student  rank  ;  but  no  one  dreamed  of  me  and  some 
others  being  chosen.  But  the  list  of  students  was 
published  that  same  day,  and  it  appeared  that  all  the 
boys  of  the  Senior  Class,  with  two  or  three  exceptions, 
were  to  enter  the  University  ;  Yakovnin  and  I  were  both 
included.  Strictly  speaking,  about  a  dozen  of  us,  of  whom 
I  was  certainly  one,  did  not  deserve  to  be  admitted,  partly 
because  we  were  too  young,  and  partly  because  we  did 
not  know  enough.  Nor  do  I  refer  merely  to  the  fact 
that  none  of  us  knew  Latin  and  very  few  German,  though 
in  the  coming  autumn  we  were  bound  to  attend  lectures 
delivered  in  both  languages.  For  all  this,  we  rejoiced 
heartily  and  gave  loud  expression  to  our  feelings.  We 
embraced  and  congratulated  one  another,  and  vowed  to 
work  untiringly  at  the  subjects  in  which  we  were  deficient, 
so  that  we  should  not  be  ashamed  in  the  course  of  a  few 
months  to  call  ourselves  qualified  students  of  a  University. 
A  Latin  class  was  started  at  once,  and  most  of  the  future 
students  began  to  tackle  the  language.  From  some 
foolish  prejudice  against  Latin,  I  did  not  follow  this 
praiseworthy  example.  To  this  day  I  do  not  understand 
why  my  tutor,  who  was  a  good  Latin  scholar  himself, 
allowed  me  to  shirk  that  subject. 

I  have  a  sense  of  satisfaction  and  of  admiration  when  I 
recall  the  spirit  which  then  animated  the  older  boys,  a 
spirit  of  genuine  devotion  to  knowledge.  They  worked  by 
night  as  well  as  by  day  till  the  effect  was  visible  in  their 
thin  and  altered  faces.  It  was  necessary  for  the  authorities 
to  take  active  measures,  in  order  to  discourage  such 
excessive  zeal :  a  master  patrolled  the  dormitories  all 
night  to  put  out  candles  and  forbid  conversation ;  for 
even  in  the  dark  the  boys  examined  each  other  in  the 
subjects  they  had  gone  through.  The  teachers  too  were 
spurred  on  by  the  eager  zeal  of  their  pupils,  and  worked 


122  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

with  them,  not  in  school  only  but  in  all  free  hours  and  on 
all  holidays.  My  tutor  gave  a  course  of  lectures  on 
Applied  Mathematics  at  his  house  for  the  best  mathema- 
ticians ;  and  this  example  was  followed  by  his  colleagues. 
Even  after  the  college  was  opened,  this  state  of  things 
continued  during  the  first  year.  Those  were  proud  and 
happy  days,  days  of  pure  love  for  knowledge  and  praise- 
worthy enthusiasm !  I  can  speak  of  them  impartially  ; 
for  I  did  not  share  the  eager  aspirations  which  filled  most 
of  the  scholars  and  exhibitioners.  For  some  reason  the 
pensioners  stood  somewhat  aloof  from  the  movement ; 
and  my  own  education  went  on  as  usual  under  the 
direction  of  my  tutor.  I  daresay  he  thought  I  had  no 
vocation  for  a  learned  life ;  and  I  daresay  he  was  mis- 
taken. He  was  led  to  this  conclusion  by  my  passion 
for  literature  and  the  drama  which  had  now  come  to  the 
surface.  But  I  believe  that  I  could  have  conceived  an 
equally  strong  passion  for  Natural  History,  and  I  might 
perhaps  have  done  something  useful  in  that  line.  My 
parents,  however,  never  intended  me  for  a  scholar's  life, 
against  which  they  had  even  a  prejudice ;  and  my  tutor 
was  only  carrying  out  their  wishes  in  the  direction  he 
gave  to  my  studies. 

It  must  be  admitted  that  the  birth  of  our  University 
was  somewhat  premature.  Six  weeks  after  the  Chancellor' s 
arrival,  on  the  14th  of  February  1805,  it  was  formally 
opened.  The  staff  comprised  only  six  teachers,  of  whom 
two  were  professors,  Yakovnin  and  Tseplin,  while  the  other 
four,  Kartashevsky,  Zapolsky,  Levitsky,  and  Erich,  had 
the  rank  of  assistants. 

In  that  year,  1805,  the  letters  from  Dmitri  Knyazhevitch, 
which  were  always  received  by  us  and  listened  to  with 
keen  interest,  became  more  interesting  than  ever,  for 
political  reasons.  The  first  war  with  Napoleon  was  then 
going  on  ;  and  news  of  the  campaign  was  for  some  reason 
very  scanty  and  very  slow  in  reaching  us  ;  but  Knyazhe"- 
vitch  sent  us  early  and  full  details.  Besides  this,  his 
letters  were  so  full  of  patriotic  ardour  and  devotion  to  the 
glory  of  the  Russian  arms,  that  they  had  an  electrical 
effect  on  all  of  us.  When  Alexander  Knyazhevitch 
called  out,  "  A  letter  from  my  brother  !  " — we  needed  no 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  123 

further  summons :  an  eager  crowd  gathered  round  him 
at  once ;  leaning  on  each  other's  shoulders,  in  dead 
silence  broken  at  times  by  enthusiastic  shouts,  we  listened 
greedily  while  the  letter  was  read  aloud.  Even  the  boys 
from  the  school  joined  us  and  listened  to  these  letters. 
The  famous  General  Bagration  J  was  our  hero  ;  and  when 
we  heard  how  he  and  his  detachment,  when  left  at  the 
mercy  of  the  enemy,  had  forced  their  way  through  the 
whole  French  army,  the  cheers  which  we  raised,  and  the 
passionate  enthusiasm  of  every  one  of  us,  are  beyond  my 
powers  of  description.  There  was  plenty  of  life  in  the 
young  men  of  that  day,  and  it  is  comforting  to  think 
of  it  now. 

The  usual  summer  examinations  were  not  held  either 
in  the  school  or  the  University,  and  all  our  time  was  spent 
in  preparing  for  the  courses  of  lectures  to  be  delivered 
after  our  return.  My  tutor  for  some  reason  unknown  to 
me  sent  me  off  for  my  holidays  shortly  before  the  Speech- 
day.  I  travelled  with  Yevseitch  to  Old  Aksakovo  in  the 
Government  of  Simbirsk,  where  my  family  was  then 
living.  The  reason  of  this  migration  is  also  unknown 
to  me,  but  I  did  not  like  it  at  all.  Old  Aksakovo  was 
ill  supplied  with  water  ;  there  was  no  fishing  there  and 
very  little  shooting.  There  was  indeed  plenty  of  black 
game,  and  it  was  possible  to  pick  up  a  woodcock  ;  but 
this  difficult  form  of  sport  was  still  beyond  my  powers. 
Being  aware  of  this  beforehand,  I  laid  in  a  stock  of  plays, 
intending  to  read  them  at  leisure,  and  even  to  act  them 
with  my  family  for  audience  ;  and  I  carried  out  this 
intention  later  with  great  pleasure  and  success.  My 
parents,  though  they  found  it  hard  to  believe  it,  were  much 
pleased  that  I  was  to  enjoy  the  dignity  of  a  student, 
and  expressed  regret  that  my  tutor  had  not  kept  me  till 
Speech-day,  to  hear  the  list  of  students  formally  read,  and 
to  receive  my  sword  with  the  others.  My  dear  sister  was 
delighted  to  have  me  back  at  home.  She  listened  with 
pleasure,  when  I  recited  or  rather  acted  my  plays  ;  tragedy, 
comedy,  and  even  opera — all  came  alike  to  me,  and  I 
played  all  the  parts,  both  male  and  female,  changing  my 
voice  to  a  lisp  or  a  squeak,  singing  bass  or  falsetto,  and 
1  Bagration  fell  at  the  battle  of  Borodino  (1812). 


124  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

sometimes  dressing  up  in  clothes  which  I  fished  up  out 
of  old  wardrobes.  I  had  another  occupation  as  well. 
As  I  knew  that  after  the  middle  of  August  I  should  attend 
lectures  on  Natural  History  delivered  by  Professor  Fuchs 
who  had  lately  come  to  Kazan,  I  determined  to  collect 
butterflies,  and  made  a  start  in  that  direction  during  the 
holidays.  My  sister  helped  me  in  this ;  but  alas  !  I 
destroyed  a  great  number  of  these  lovely  creatures, 
because  I  did  not  know  then  how  to  set  and  dry  butterflies. 
Twice  during  the  holidays  we  travelled  to  Choorassovo 
and  spent  a  week  each  time  in  the  house  of  my  great-aunt, 
Praskovya  Ivanovna  Kurolyessova.  The  distance  from 
Old  Aksakovo  was  not  more  than  forty  or  fifty  versts. 
Praskovya  Ivanovna  was  much  pleased  to  hear  that  I  had 
become  a  student :  she  announced  the  fact  with  pride 
to  every  visitor ;  she  made  me  put  on  my  uniform,  and 
was  very  sorry  that  I  had  not  got  my  sword  ;  and  she 
went  so  far  as  to  give  me  ten  roubles  to  buy  books.  Of 
my  dramatic  activity  no  one  would  have  dared  to  tell  her 
directly,  for  it  was  possible  that  she  might  not  approve  of 
it ;  but  she  happened  to  hear  it  mentioned,  and  made  me 
recite,  act,  and  sing.  To  my  great  joy,  she  was  much 
pleased  and  laughed  a  great  deal.  She  had  never  been  in 
a  theatre  in  her  life,  but  she  was  quick  at  picking  up 
things,  and  this  new  form  of  entertainment  suited  her 
gay  and  lively  temperament.  But  she  liked  my  ordinary 
reading  better  still.  Sometimes  when  she  was  at  a  loss 
for  occupation,  especially  in  winter — when  she  was  tired 
of  playing  cards  and  singing  the  songs  and  ballads  of  those 
days,  and  tired  of  listening  to  gossip  and  scandal — she 
made  some  one  read  aloud  recent  novels  and  tales  ;  but 
she  never  found  a  reader  to  suit  her  :  even  my  mother, 
who  was  better  than  others,  did  not  give  entire  satisfaction. 
But,  when  she  heard  me,  she  said,  "  Well,  that  is  something 
like  reading  !  " — and  from  that  day,  though  it  was  summer 
and  she  generally  spent  that  season  in  her  splendid  garden, 
she  made  me  read  to  her  for  at  least  two  hours  every  day. 
The  Miller  by  Ablesfmoff ,  and  The  Hawker  by  Knyazhnin 
were  sometimes  chosen ;  and  I  remember  her  hearty 
good-humoured  laughter,  when  she  saw  a  mere  boy 
representing  one  of  the  two  old  men  from  whom  these 


MY  RETURN  TO  SCHOOL  125 

comedies  take  their  titles.  I  gained  a  full  measure  of 
her  good  graces,  and  this  was  a  great  satisfaction  to  rny 
family  ;  for  thoughts  of  the  great  fortune  which  she  had 
promised  to  leave  us  could  not  be  entirely  banished  from 
the  anticipations  and  calculations  which  no  man  can  help 
making.  When  I  left,  I  received  a  gracious  command 
from  Praskovya  Ivanovna  to  write  to  her  twice  a  month  ; 
and  she  got  those  letters  regularly  down  to  the  time  of 
her  death. 


126  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 


CHAPTER  IV 

LIFE  AT  COLLEGE 

I  RETURNED  with  no  mishaps  to  Kazan  and  was  much 
pleased  to  see  my  tutor  again ;  and  he  greeted  me 
affectionately.  My  first  business  was  to  get  the  sword 
which  was  part  of  my  uniform  and  had  been  kept  in  store 
for  my  arrival.  Alexander  Panayeff  and  I  fastened  on 
our  swords  and  spent  the  whole  of  that  Sunday  in  walking 
about  the  streets  of  the  town.  As  our  costume  was  then 
a  novelty,  we  had  the  satisfaction  of  attracting  the 
attention  and  interest  of  the  inhabitants,  though  some 
menservants,  as  they  sat  at  the  doors  and  made  love  to 
the  maids,  being  more  sophisticated  than  the  rest  of  their 
class,  made  bad  jokes  at  our  expense.  The  officers  of  the 
school  had  much  business  on  their  hands  :  students  and 
boys  were  both  lodged  in  the  same  building,  and  separate 
dormitories  had  to  be  arranged  for  the  students,  as  well 
as  separate  meals  in  a  second  and  smaller  dining-hall ; 
and  a  scheme  of  University  lectures  had  to  be  organised. 
By  the  end  of  August  all  arrangements  were  made,  and 
lectures  began  as  follows :  Kartashevsky  lectured  on 
advanced  Pure  Mathematics,  Zapolsky  on  Applied  Mathe- 
matics and  Experimental  Physics,  Levitsky  on  Logic  and 
Philosophy,  Yakovnin  on  Russian  History,  Geography, 
and  Statistics,  Professor  Tseplin  on  General  History, 
Professor  Fuchs  on  Natural  History,  Professor  Herman 
on  Latin  Literature  and  Antiquities,  Erich  on  Greek  and 
Latin  Literature,  and  Evest — an  assistant  professor  from 
a  foreign  University — on  Chemistry  and  Anatomy.  There 
was  another  professor,  Buhnemann,  a  stout  man  who 
lectured  in  French  on ' '  The  Law  of  Nature  and  of  Nations ' ' ; 
I  attended  his  lectures  but  I  have  not  the  faintest  recol- 
lection of  them.  Such  was  the  rudimentary  staff  with 
which  our  University  opened;  nor  were  the  faculties 


LIFE  AT  COLLEGE  127 

properly  distinct.  Yakovnin,  being  both  inspector  of 
the  students  and  Rector  of  the  school,  enjoyed  the  title 
and  authority  of  Vice-Chancellor ;  as  chairman  of  the 
school  governors,  who  included  all  the  professors  and 
assistant  professors,  he  controlled  the  educational  de- 
partment of  school  and  University  alike.  The  busi- 
ness administration  was  managed  by  the  school  office ; 
Yakovnin  was  head  of  this  also,  and  one  of  the  school 
instructors  acted  regularly  as  secretary.  With  the 
permission  from  the  Chancellor  required  by  the  rules  of 
subordination,  Yakovnin  allotted  chambers  to  the  students 
and  made  other  necessary  arrangements.  Many  students, 
of  whom  I  was  one,  had  not  completed  the  school  course 
and  continued  to  attend  advanced  classes  there  as  well 
as  college  lectures  ;  and  I  was  very  glad  of  this,  because 
it  would  have  pained  me  to  part  from  Ibrahimoff.  He 
loved  me  so  sincerely  and  took  such  pains  with  me,  that 
the  time  spent  in  his  class-room  remains  as  one  of  the 
pleasantest  memories  of  my  youth.  I  ought  to  confess, 
that  he  gave  me  more  than  my  share  of  his  attention, 
and  that  my  vanity,  excited  and  gratified  by  his  notice  of 
me  before  the  whole  class,  played  a  considerable  part  in 
the  matter.  Thus  the  transition  from  school  to  college 
was  felt  by  us  all,  and  especially  by  those  who,  like  myself, 
continued  to  attend  some  classes  in  the  school. 

After  the  University  opened,  my  friendship  with 
Alexander  Panayeff,  now  a  student  like  myself,  grew  by 
leaps  and  bounds,  and  soon  there  was  such  an  intimacy 
between  us  as  can  only  exist  in  early  manhood ;  he, 
however,  was  eighteen  and  consequently  three  years 
older  than  I.  My  tutor  approved  of  this  friendship. 
Our  love  for  literature  and  the  stage  was  one  of  the  ties 
between  us,  and  we  soon  acquired  another  taste  in  common, 
for  natural  history  and  the  collecting  of  butterflies, 
though  it  was  not  till  the  following  spring  that  this  taste 
was  fully  developed. 

In  the  present  winter  the  theatre  attracted  us  to  the 
exclusion  of  everything  else,  and  this  was  due  to  the 
unexpected  appearance  of  a  famous  actor  from  Moscow, 
Plavilshchikoff.  His  visit  had  a  great  influence  on  me. 
My  tutor  had  spoken  to  me  about  him  before  this  time ; 


128  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

and  now  he  gave  me  leave  beforehand  to  go  to  the  theatre 
every  night  that  Plavilshchikoff  was  playing  ;  he  was  much 
pleased  that  I  should  see  a  real  artist,  and  hear  that 
correct,  natural,  and  powerful  delivery  for  which  Plavil- 
shchikoff was  justly  famous.     To  go  often  to  the  pit  or 
stalls  was  beyond  the  means  of  the  students :  a  seat  in 
the  pit  cost  a  rouble,  and  a  stall  two  and  a  half  roubles  ; 
our  regular  resort  was  the  gallery,  where  the  price  of 
entrance  was  two  kopecks.1    But  for  us  the  gallery  had 
one  serious  drawback  :    as  the  play  began  at  6.30  P.M. 
and  our  lectures  ended  at  6,  there  was  only  just  time  to 
run  to  the  theatre  and  get  a  place  on  the  back  benches  of 
the  gallery,  from  which  it  was  impossible  to  see  anything, 
because  the  front  rows  were  filled  long  before  the  per- 
formance began.     But  we  devised  measures  to  overcome 
this  difficulty.     Two  or  sometimes  three  students,   the 
biggest  and  strongest  of  us,  used  to  go  to  the  theatre  at 
five  or  earlier ;    there  they  sat  down  at  the  ends  of  an 
empty  bench  and  kept  off  all  intruders.     The  rest  of  us 
turned  up  just  before  the  curtain  rose,   and  took  the 
seats  reserved  for  us.     At  first  there  were  some  disputes 
caused  by  this  manoeuvre,  but  the  regular  visitors  to  the 
gallery  soon  became  accustomed  to  the  arrangement,  and 
everything  went  off  peaceably.     Our  emissaries  used  at 
first  to  conceal  their  disappearance  from  the  class-room ; 
but  many  of  the  professors  and  teachers,  when  they  came 
to  understand  the  reason,  used  to  wink  at  the  departure 
of  some  of  their  hearers.     The  good-natured  Ibrahimoff 
would  often  say,  "  Well,  gentlemen,  isn't  it  time  to  be 
off  to  the  theatre  ?  " — and  sometimes  dismissed  his  class 
half   an  hour  too  early.     To  procure  playbills  was   the 
duty   of  the   pensioner   students.     In   those   days   there 
were  no  printed  playbills  at  Kazan  :    written  bills  were 
supplied  from  the  box-office  to  a  few  persons  of  distinction, 
while  the  public  was  informed  of  the  title  of  the  play  and 
the  names  of  the  actors  by  a  notice  secured  by  four  tacks 
to  a  pillar  or  the  wall  of  the  main  entrance  to  the  theatre. 
I  must  confess  that  we  used  to  steal  these  notices.     The 
method  was  this  :   you  went  up  to  the  theatre  steps  and 
began  to  read  the  notice ;   then,  as  soon  as  the  coast  was 
1  I.e.  One  halfpenny. 


LIFE  AT  COLLEGE  129 

clear,  you  tore  it  off,  hid  it  in  your  pocket,  and  carried 
back  your  prize  to  college.  When  Yessipoff,  the  manager, 
discovered  this  trick  of  the  students,  he  gave  leave  for 
them  to  get  a  playbill  regularly  from  the  box-office. 

To  me  Plavilshchikoff's  acting  was  the  revelation  of  a 
new  world  in  dramatic  art.  Unable,  especially  at  first, 
to  see  his  defects,  I  was  equally  enchanted  by  him  in 
tragedy,  comedy,  and  melodrama.  But  he  stayed  a  long 
time  in  Kazan  and  produced  many  new  pieces,  including 
his  comedy  The  Outcast  which  was  a  great  success,  and  his 
tragedy  which  had  no  merit  and  failed  entirely ;  and,  as 
he  sometimes  repeated  the  same  part  two  or  three  times, 
we  had  plenty  of  opportunity  for  judging  his  acting,  and 
came  to  see  that  he  was  far  better  in  some  parts  than 
in  others.  But  his  real  triumphs  in  delivery  were  the 
parts  of  Titus  in  The  Mercy  of  Titus  and  of  the  pastor 
in  Lovers'  Vows.1  The  latter  performance  was  a  perfect 
marvel  to  me.  The  part  used  to  be  played  at  Kazan  by 
a  very  bad  actor,  Maxim  Gulyaeff,  and  was  thought  so 
intolerably  dull  by  me  and  all  the  audience,  that  the  long 
monologue  addressed  by  the  pastor  to  Baron  Neuhof  was 
cut  down  by  general  desire  to  a  few  lines.  But  Plavil- 
shchikoff  restored  the  part  to  its  full  importance  and 
simply  killed  all  the  other  parts.  It  was  really  a  masterly 
performance.  Another  play  which  he  staged  at  Kazan 
was  Oedipus  at  Athens,  and  his  acting  as  Oedipus  was 
rapturously  applauded. 

In  him  I  saw  for  the  first  time  truth,  simplicity,  and 
nature  upon  the  stage,  and  it  was  a  revelation  to  me. 
I  felt  all  the  faults  of  my  own  manner  of  recitation,  and 
eagerly  set  about  reforming  my  delivery.  My  tutor  had 
said  something  of  the  kind  to  me  and  had  suggested  im- 
provements, but  I  hardly  understood  him.  Now,  however, 
the  moment  I  heard  Plavilshchikoff  in  his  best  parts,  I 
understood  what  my  tutor  found  amiss  in  my  perform- 
ance— which  shows  how  much  better  example  is  than  the 
very  best  precepts.  Directed  by  my  tutor,  I  worked  hard 
at  this  difficult  task  for  a  fortnight,  and  then  recited  to 
my  friend,  Alexander  Panayeff,  the  long  monologue  from 

1  Readers  of  Miss  Austen  will  remember  that  Lovers'  Vows  was  the 
play  rehearsed  but  never  acted  at  Mansfield  Park. 

I 


130  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

the  pastor's  part.  He  was  struck  dumb  with  astonish- 
ment :  all  he  could  say  was  "  You  're  as  good  as  Plavil- 
shchikoff !  you  're  better  !  "  Getting  to  college  before 
me  that  day,  he  told  them  all  of  his  new  discovery  ;  and, 
when  I  came  in  to  attend  lectures,  the  students  crowded 
round  me  and  made  me  recite  the  monologue  and  passages 
which  I  knew  by  heart  from  other  plays.  If  they  did 
not  call  me  a  Plavilshchikoff,  they  applauded  me  warmly, 
and  some  of  the  senior  students  at  once  conceived  the 
idea  of  getting  up  acting  ourselves.  The  authorities  would 
not  agree  to  this  all  at  once ;  and  therefore  Panayeff 
and  I  put  together  a  play  of  a  kind — it  was  childishly 
silly,  of  course — and  acted  it,  with  the  aid  of  his  brothers, 
in  the  rooms  which  they  occupied  ;  they  lived  in  a  biggish 
stone  house  belonging  to  their  uncle.  The  title  and  plot 
of  this  play  I  have  forgotten,  but  I  remember  that  I 
played  two  parts  in  it — an  old  hermit  in  the  first  two 
acts,  and  a  robber-chief,  who  got  killed  by  a  pistol  shot, 
in  the  third.  I  distinguished  myself  chiefly  as  the  hermit. 
Our  Chancellor  lived  in  Petersburg,  and  it  was  long 
before  we  received  permission  from  him  to  make  a  theatre 
with  scenery  and  foot-lights  in  one  of  the  University  halls. 
In  the  meantime,  we  got  permission  from  the  Vice 
Chancellor  to  get  up  private  theatricals  in  one  of  the 
dormitories,  with  no  raised  stage  and  no  scenery.  This 
scheme  gave  rise  to  no  end  of  pleasant  excitement  and 
bustle.  A  curtain,  made  of  sheets  sewn  together, 
divided  the  long  dormitory  in  two ;  the  place  for  the 
stage  was  fenced  off  by  bedsteads  and  lighted  by  candle- 
sticks from  the  class-rooms.  We  acted  Serve  Him  Right, 
a  comedy  by  Verevkin,  and  the  parts  of  the  old  and  the 
young  Doblestin  were  taken  by  myself  and  Panayeff. 
The  dresses  were  ludicrous  :  for  instance,  the  old  Doblestin 
wore  a  tattered  military  tunic,  borrowed  from  one  of  our 
porters  who  was  an  old  soldier,  and  a  tow  wig  whitened 
with  chalk ;  the  fetters  on  his  hands  were  borrowed  from 
a  watch-dog,  who  took  advantage  of  his  free  evening  to 
bite  some  one  very  severely.  A  student  called  Perevo- 
shchikoff,  with  a  pale  and  not  young  face  and  a  hoarse 
voice,  was  excellent  in  the  old  woman's  part ;  and  parts 
of  the  kind  were  always  assigned  to  him  afterwards,  J 


LIFE  AT  COLLEGE  131 

and  my  dog-chain  produced  a  powerful  effect :  I  was 
hailed  as  a  genius,  and  so  was  Peter  Zykoff,  who  threw 
the  whole  audience  into  convulsions  by  his  comic  powers. 
But  alas  !  my  bosom  friend,  Panayeff,  in  spite  of  his 
good  looks,  pleased  nobody  in  the  part  of  young 
Doblestin.  He  had  in  fact  a  rather  plaintive  and  cold 
delivery ;  and  he  was  handicapped  by  a  defect  in  pro- 
nunciation which  he  could  not  overcome.1  This  was  my 
first  public  success  as  an  actor ;  for  our  acting  at  the 
Panayeffs'  house  had  been  private,  and  the  audience  very 
small ;  but  now  all  the  chief  officials  were  present,  the 
professors  and  teachers  and  even  their  wives  and  daughters, 
not  to  mention  as  many  students  and  schoolboys  as  could 
be  crammed  into  the  room. 

Soon  afterwards  the  Chancellor  sent  his  permission  : 
a  theatre  might  be  made  for  the  Government  students 
as  "a  reward  for  their  exemplary  diligence  "  ;  at  the 
same  time  the  inspector  was  charged  to  keep  an  eye  on 
the  pieces  chosen,  and  also  to  see  that  this  form  of  amuse- 
ment did  not  interfere  with  serious  study.  We  were  all 
delighted.  A  stage  and  background,  which  could  be 
easily  and  quickly  removed,  were  put  up  at  the  cost  of 
Government ;  but  the  students  diminished  the  expense 
considerably  by  painting  the  scenery  themselves.  It 
was  intended  at  first  to  construct  the  theatre  in  one  of  the 
halls  ;  but  this  turned  out  to  be  uncomfortably  large,  and 
the  authorities  objected  to  the  expense  ;  and  finally  the 
choice  fell  on  one  of  the  class-rooms,  which  was  especially 
suitable  because  it  was  divided  in  the  middle  by  an  arch. 
There  had  been  two  rooms  originally,  but  the  dividing 
wall  had  been  removed  some  years  before,  and  an  arch, 
resting  on  two  pillars  at  the  side,  was  left  to  support  the 
ceiling.  For  the  erection  of  a  stage  this  was  a  great 
convenience.  But  we  were  too  impatient  to  wait  for  the 
completion  of  our  theatre,  and  played  a  comedy  by 
Kotzebue,  Misanthropy  and  Remorse,2  in  the  hall  which 
I  mentioned  above.  I  distinguished  myself  in  the  part 

1  He  pronounced  o  as  o,  whereas  most  Russians  pronounce  an  un- 
accented o  as  a. 

2  The    English    version    of  this    play   is    known    as    The    Stranger. 
Thackeray's  opinion  of  its  merits  may  be  found  in  chap.  iv.  of  Pendennis. 


132  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

of  "  The  Stranger,"  and  my  fame  was  established  on  a 
solid  foundation.  Next  we  drew  up  a  code  of  regulations 
and  confirmed  it  by  the  signatures  of  all  who  took  part 
in  the  acting ;  and  I,  young  as  I  was,  was  chosen  as 
manager  of  the  company.  But  alas  !  I  did  not  hold  this 
position  for  long  :  I  gained  some  distinction  in  another 
comedy  by  Kotzebue,  and  then  an  unfortunate  combina- 
tion of  circumstances  banished  me  from  the  stage  for  a 
whole  year.  I  must  describe  in  somewhat  greater  detail 
this  tragi-comic  affair. 

The  next  play  we  took  in  hand  was  Meinau,  or  The 
Result  of  Reconciliation,  written  by  some  German  author 
to  express  his  opinion  that  the  reconciliation  between 
Meinau  and  his  erring  wife,  which  ends  up  Kotzebue' s 
comedy  of  Misanthropy  and  Remorse,  cannot  restore  their 
domestic  happiness.  The  piece  has  a  small  part  of  a 
General  who  had  once  been  in  love  with  Mme.  Meinau  : 
he  happens  to  meet  Meinau  and  his  wife,  whereupon  the 
lady  faints  and  the  husband  challenges  the  General  and 
kills  him  in  a  duel  with  pistols.  Alexander  Panayeff, 
after  his  failure  as  Doblestin,  took  little  part  in  our 
performances,  though  he  was  still  a  member  of  the 
company ;  but,  when  he  heard  our  choice  of  a  play, 
he  begged  me  to  give  him  the  General's  part.  He 
admitted  that  he  had  no  gift  for  the  stage,  but  he  had 
special  reasons  for  wishing  to  have  this  part  assigned  to 
him.  These  reasons  I  knew  :  he  was  attached  to  a  certain 
young  lady  who  always  attended  our  performances,  and 
he  wished  her  to  see  him  on  the  stage,  wearing  a  general's 
uniform  with  large  epaulettes,  and  falling  at  the  fatal 
shot.  Now  I  knew  that  the  rest  of  the  company  would 
resent  my  decision ;  and  I  knew  that  another  actor, 
Peter  Balyasnikoff,  whose  character  and  ability  gave  him 
a  marked  ascendancy  among  us,  wished  to  have  this  part 
and  would  play  it  ever  so  much  better ;  but  I  was  led 
astray  by  the  claims  of  friendship  and  allotted  the  part 
to  Panayeff,  which,  as  manager  of  the  company,  I  had  a 
perfect  right  to  do.  The  others  at  once  declared  that 
Panayeff  would  ruin  the  whole  play ;  but  I  replied,  that 
the  part  was  small  and  unimportant,  that  Panayeff  had 
gone  through  it  with  me  very  well,  that  I  would  undertake 


LIFE  AT  COLLEGE  183 

to  make  him  perfect,  and  that  his  good  looks  gave  him 
a  special  claim  to  it.  Out  of  respect  for  my  authority  as 
manager,  they  submitted,  but  with  much  reluctance. 
But  Panayeff  was  such  a  failure  at  the  first  rehearsal, 
that  it  was  painful  to  me  to  look  at  him,  and  the  company 
attacked  me  again,  begging  me  to  choose  any  one  but 
Panayeff  for  the  part.  I  refused,  urging  for  my  friend 
that  he  did  not  know  the  part,  and  vouching  for  it  that 
with  my  coaching  he  would  do  very  well.  But  I  saw 
trouble  ahead,  and  privately  begged  my  friend  to  resign. 
It  was  in  vain  :  he  begged  me  with  tears  not  to  deprive 
him  of  the  opportunity  to  make  a  favourable  impression 
on  the  heart  of  his  fair  one ;  he  feared  a  rival,  and  that 
rival  was  Balyasnikoff !  I  was  so  affected  by  this  appeal 
that  I  took  an  oath  not  to  give  the  part  to  any  one  else  ; 
and  I  promised,  in  case  of  a  serious  revolt,  to  resign  my 
own  part  of  Meinau.  At  the  second  rehearsal,  Panayeff, 
though  he  knew  his  part,  acted  as  badly  as  before.  Taking 
advantage  of  my  powers  as  manager,  I  had  excluded 
everybody  but  the  actors  from  this  rehearsal ;  but,  during 
the  scene  between  me  and  the  General,  the  door  opened 
and  I  saw  Balyasnikoff  come  in  with  several  others ;  he 
stopped  right  in  front  of  the  stage  and  looked  very 
contemptuous  and  insolent.  I  had  hardly  killed  the 
General,  when  all  the  company  came  round  me  and 
insisted  that  I  should  give  the  part  to  Balyasnikoff  instead. 
Panayeff  turned  pale.  Eager  in  defence  of  my  friend, 
and  insulted  in  my  dignity  as  manager,  I  refused  positively 
and  used  a  threat :  "  You  are  interfering  in  what  is  no 
business  of  yours,"  I  said,  "  and,  if  you  won't  obey  me,  I 
resign  the  part  of  Meinau  and  decline  to  take  any  further 
share  in  the  acting." 

I  expected  to  cause  a  sensation  by  my  closing  words. 
My  head  had  been  turned  by  praise  and  my  high  opinion 
of  myself,  till  I  thought  that  I  was  indispensable  ;  but  my 
opponents  were  only  waiting  for  the  opening  I  had  given 
them.  Balyasnikoff  at  once  stepped  forward  and  made 
a  speech  ;  he  said  coolly,  that  I  was  conceited  and  thought 
myself  a  great  actor,  that  I  misused  my  power  as  manager 
and  was  sacrificing  the  play  and  the  whole  company 
to  my  friendship  for  Panayeff  who  could  not  act  at  all. 


184  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

"  Our  praise  gave  you  glory,"  he  added,  "  and  we 
shall  also  rob  you  of  it,  and  assert  everywhere  that  you 
cannot  act.  We  deprive  you  of  the  management  and 
expel  you  from  the  company."  The  rest  unanimously 
expressed  their  agreement.  Though  I  was  expecting  a 
revolt  against  my  authority,  I  had  not  foreseen  such  a 
blow  as  this.  I  rallied  all  my  presence  of  mind,  took  my 
friend  Panayeff  by  the  hand  with  the  fortitude  of  a  hero, 
and  left  the  room  without  saying  a  word.  I  returned 
home  stunned  by  my  fall  and  also  conscious  of  my  unfair 
dealing  ;  but  I  tried  to  comfort  myself  with  the  thought 
that  I  had  sacrificed  my  own  vanity  and  passion  for  the 
stage  to  my  friend's  peace  of  mind.  I  believed  that  the 
piece  could  not  be  acted  without  me,  and  that  therefore 
his  hated  rival  could  not  appear  in  the  glittering  epaulettes 
to  steal  away  the  heart  of  the  fair  lady.  But  it  was  a  great 
blow  to  Panayeff  and  me,  when  we  went  next  day  to 
college  and  heard,  that  the  company  had  elected 
Balyasnikoff  manager  on  the  previous  evening,  that  my 
part  had  been  given  to  Dmitrieff,  and  that  Balyasnikoff 
himself  was  to  act  the  General. 

Dmitrieff  was  a  pensioner  student  of  remarkable  ability  ; 
he  had  been  my  regular  rival  in  all  our  studies,  though 
up  till  now  I  had  almost  always  distanced  him.  In 
Ibrahimoff  s  class  his  compositions  on  the  subjects  set  to 
us  were  sometimes  as  good  as  mine ;  and  Ibrahimoff,  in 
spite  of  some  partiality  for  me,  on  two  occasions  informed 
the  whole  class  that  he  could  not  determine  the  order  of 
merit  between  our  essays.  He  had  also  a  reputation  for 
reciting,  and  I  had  sometimes  seen  him  declaiming  poetry 
to  a  crowd  of  listeners.  Speaking  candidly,  I  must  admit 
that  Dmitrieff  had  perhaps  more  talent  for  literature  and 
the  stage  than  I  had ;  but,  as  neither  the  one  nor  the 
other  inspired  in  him  the  exclusive  passion  that  I  felt, 
his  gifts  were  unimproved  and  undeveloped.  Also,  in 
his  appearance,  which  was  rather  rough  and  uncouth,  and 
in  all  his  movements,  there  was  visible  a  certain  heaviness 
and  a  want  of  ease  and  grace.  It  never  entered  my  head 
that  such  an  Orson  would  consent  to  appear  on  the  stage  ; 
but  the  company  appealed  to  him  and  induced  him  with 
some  difficulty  to  take  the  part  of  Meinau.  They  gave 


LIFE  AT  COLLEGE  185 

him  the  book  and  made  him  read  the  part  aloud  on  the 
spot,  and  were  delighted  one  and  all  by  his  performance. 
We  were  told  that  many  of  his  audience  were  reduced  to 
tears,  and  that  a  student  called  Chesnoff,  a  bosom  friend 
of  Dmitrieff'  s  and  a  great  laugher  and  good-humoured 
joker,  had  wept  floods.  To  me  and  my  friend  this  was 
absolute  death  and  destruction :  what  had  become  of 
his  love  affair  and  my  vanity  and  passion  for  the  stage  ? 
If  I  had  acted  justly  and  assigned  the  General's  part  to 
some  one  else,  Balyasnikoff  would  never  have  got  the 
part  or  the  chance  to  appear  in  the  glittering  epaulettes  ! 
The  play  was  at  last  performed,  and  Panayeff  and  I  were 
a  little  consoled,  because  it  was  not  a  great  success. 
Neither  of  us  was  present,  and  my  report  of  its  failure 
depends  on  the  general  verdict  of  the  teachers  and  un- 
prejudiced spectators,  though  the  students  and  especially 
the  actors  were  loud  in  their  praise  of  Dmitrieff.  Having 
seen  him  at  a  rehearsal,  I  am  myself  convinced  that  he 
was  very  good  in  the  striking  passages  of  the  part,  if  not 
in  all. 

Torn  from  the  stage  by  this  combination  of  circum- 
stances, I  next  dashed  off  in  a  different  direction,  towards 
literature  and  natural  history.  On  the  latter  subject  I 
attended  lectures  given  in  French  by  Professor  Fuchs  ; 
and  I  became  interested  chiefly  in  collecting  butterflies  ; 
and  this  soon  became  an  absorbing  passion  with  me. 
Panayeff  was  my  faithful  companion  and  collaborator 
in  the  whole  business.  We  spent  all  our  leisure  in 
wandering,  net  in  hand,  through  gardens  and  meadows 
and  woods,  and  chasing  all  the  butterflies  we  came  across  ; 
the  moths  we  searched  for  under  boughs  and  leaves,  in 
hollow-trees,  or  in  the  chinks  of  fences  and  stone  walls.1 

I  went  to  lectures  in  college  and  kept  up  my  attendance 
at  two  classes  in  the  school ;  and  my  progress  was  fairly 
satisfactory,  but  not  more.  I  began  a  course  on  anatomy 
with  much  interest,  and  enjoyed  the  lectures,  as  long  as 
the  dissection  was  confined  to  animals ;  I  was  even 
thought  likely  to  do  well  in  the  subject.  But,  when  it 
came  to  the  dissection  of  corpses,  I  gave  up  anatomy  for 
good.  I  was  afraid  of  dead  bodies  ;  but  my  companions 

1  A  full  account  of  this  hobby  follows  at  p.  163. 


186  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

felt  quite  differently  :  they  ransacked  the  town  for  a 
"  subject,"  and,  when  one  was  found  and  brought  to 
the  anatomical  school,  they  hailed  it  with  joyful  triumph. 
For  long  I  was  unable  to  look  at  some  of  them  without 
disgust. 

In  describing  my  dramatic  career,  I  have  run  on  far 
ahead  ;  and  now  I  must  go  back  and  give  an  account  of 
my  life  with  my  tutor,  Kartashevsky,  and  of  some  changes 
that  had  taken  place.  When  we  acted  for  the  first  time, 
by  day  and  in  the  Panayeffs'  house,  my  tutor  knew 
nothing  of  it ;  but,  when  we  determined  to  start  a 
theatre  in  the  college  and  I  told  him  of  this,  he  raised  no 
obstacle  to  my  taking  part  in  the  scheme,  and  even 
expressed  approval.  Later,  when  he  saw  the  comedy 
Serve  Him  Right,  he  was  pleased  with  my  acting  and 
laughed  a  great  deal  at  my  costume.  I  must  confess  that 
the  theatre  monopolised  my  attention  far  too  much ; 
but  it  is  also  true  that  my  tutor  began  to  pay  less  attention 
to  me.  I  do  not  know  what  was  the  original  cause  of  this 
change,  and  I  should  be  glad  if  I  could  clear  it  up  to  my 
own  mind.  It  is  true  that  some  trifling  differences  gave 
rise  for  a  time  to  a  certain  coldness  between  us ;  yet  I 
do  not  believe  that  they  could  have  led  to  such  serious  and 
unexpected  consequences,  but  for  the  evil  influence  of 
some  third  party. 

Our  first  difference  was  caused  by  his  discovering  in 
my  possession  two  novels  which  he  had  prohibited — 
The  Boy  by  the  Stream  by  Kotzebue,  and  Nature  and  Love 
by  Auguste  La  Fontaine.  I  used  to  read  them  at  night 
or  in  the  unused  rooms,  and  they  gave  me  an  ecstasy  of 
delight.  It  sounds  absurd,  but  even  now  the  words, 
"  Love  me,  Fanny ;  I  am  kind,"  or  "  Months,  blissful 
months  flew  by  over  these  happy  mortals  "  l — trifling  and 
silly  as  the  words  are  in  themselves — make  my  heart  beat 
faster,  at  the  mere  recollection  of  that  intense  delight 
which  they  gave  to  the  boy  of  fifteen.  The  fact  is,  that 
the  words  do  not  matter :  all  depends  upon  the  feeling 
which  the  reader  imports  into  them.  I  was  certainly  to 
blame ;  but  my  tutor  censured  my  fault  too  severely, 
and,  if  I  had  believed  what  he  said,  I  should  have  been 
1  The  quotations  are  from  Nature  and  Love. 


LIFE  AT  COLLEGE  137 

in  despair.  But  I  could  not  admit  that  I  was  so  great  a 
criminal ;  and  so  it  became  possible  and  reasonable  for 
me  to  accuse  my  tutor  of  injustice  and  want  of  con- 
sideration towards  me.  On  this  occasion,  however,  our 
friendly  relations  were  restored  pretty  soon. 

Our  second  difference  arose  as  follows.  On  the  day 
before  Trinity  Sunday,  my  tutor  decided  to  take  me  to 
Zapolsky's  country-house  for  the  week-end.  But  this 
time  I  did  not  wish  to  leave  Kazan,  because  Panayeff 
and  I  had  made  a  toy  theatre,  with  elaborate  scenery ; 
it  had  ingenious  devices  for  changing  the  scenes,  and  one 
of  the  scenes  was  a  storm  with  thunder  and  lightning ; 
Panayeff  was  a  great  hand  at  all  contrivances  of  this 
kind.  As  a  performance  had  been  fixed  for  the  Monday, 
and  an  audience  invited,  it  was  vexing  to  me  to  be  absent, 
but  I  submitted  without  grumbling.  On  the  day  fixed 
for  our  departure,  I  asked  leave  of  my  tutor  to  spend  some 
hours  at  Panayeff 's  house.  He  consented,  but  said,  that 
if  I  did  not  return  by  seven  o'clock,  he  would  start  alone  ; 
I  promised  to  return  without  fail.  Panayeff  and  I  put 
our  toy  theatre  through  a  "  dress  rehearsal "  ;  but  some 
of  the  phenomena  would  not  come  right :  the  lightning 
missed  the  tree  which  it  was  bound  to  strike  and  set  fire 
to,  the  moon  refused  to  appear  from  behind  the  clouds, 
and  the  waterfall  ceased  at  times  to  fall.  I  was  so  much 
taken  up  in  regulating  these  natural  phenomena,  that  I 
did  not  notice  when  my  time  was  up.  When  I  became 
aware  of  this,  I  ran  all  the  way  home ;  but  still  I  was  a 
quarter  of  an  hour  late.  My  tutor  had  started  alone 
exactly  at  seven ;  he  was  very  angry  and  left  no  directions 
for  me.  In  what  followed  I  was  really  to  blame  :  though 
Yevs&tch  proposed  that  we  should  hire  horses  and  follow 
at  once,  I  refused  flatly  to  do  so ;  I  said  that  Kartashevsky 
might  have  waited  for  me  or  left  instructions  for  me  to 
come  on  alone.  I  went  back  to  the  Panayeffs'  house, 
and  spent  the  whole  night  in  working  at  the  puppet-show. 
Alarmed  by  my  long  absence,  Yevs&tch  came  for  me 
himself.  We  showed  him  the  theatre,  and  he  was  not  a 
little  surprised  by  our  cleverness ;  and  I  went  home 
with  him  at  sunrise.  Again  he  urged  me  to  join  my  tutor 
in  the  country,  and  again  I  flatly  refused. 


138  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

On  Trinity  Sunday  Panayeff  dined  at  my  house,  and 
after  dinner  we  went  off  to  the  Park  which  was  close  by, 
and  a  regular  resort  for  a  great  concourse  of  people  at 
Whitsuntide.  Next  day  the  performance  took  place  at 
the  Panayeffs'  house  and  was  a  splendid  success  :  the 
oak  was  shattered  and  burnt  by  the  thunder,  the  moon 
duly  rose  from  behind  the  clouds,  the  waterfall  foamed 
and  splashed  without  stopping.  The  hosts  and  the 
spectators  alike  were  delighted  ;  but  I  felt  as  if  cats  were 
scratching  at  my  heart. 

Early  on  Tuesday  my  tutor  returned.  While  I  was 
still  in  bed,  he  had  a  stormy  interview  with  Yevs6itch, 
who  told  him  all  that  had  happened,  not  even  keeping 
back  that  he  had  twice  over  proposed  to  me  to  follow.- 
My  tutor  refused  to  see  me,  and  for  forty-eight  hours  we 
did  not  meet,  even  for  dinner.  I  was  greatly  distressed, 
but  I  also  felt  injured  :  I  was  nearly  sixteen,  and  I  felt 
that  such  treatment  was  unreasonable  except  in  the  case 
of  a  boy.  The  explanation  came  at  last.  I  had  prepared 
myself  to  face  it  firmly  and  coolly,  and  was  able  at  first 
to  meet  and  parry  all  his  harsh  rebukes  with  an  appear- 
ance of  calmness  ;  but,  when  he  said,  "  Now,  what  will 
be  your  mother's  feelings  when  I  describe  your  conduct 
and  refuse  to  go  on  living  with  you  any  longer  ?  " — then 
my  firmness  melted  like  wax,  tears  gushed  from  my  eyes, 
I  confessed  myself  entirely  in  the  wrong  and  sincerely 
begged  his  forgiveness  of  my  fault.  But  now  Karta- 
shevsky  made  a  great  mistake  :  instead  of  catching  at 
my  sincere  repentance,  he  met  it  coldly  and  refused  to 
make  it  up  with  me  entirely.  Perhaps  he  did  not  quite 
believe  me ;  but  it  is  more  likely  that  he  acted  thus 
from  calculation :  he  knew  that  my  mind  was  too  quick 
in  losing  the  impressions  which  it  was  too  quick  in 
receiving,  and  wished  by  a  change  in  his  behaviour  to 
make  me  feel  my  fault  more  deeply.  But  the  result  was 
not  in  the  least  what  he  expected.  While  changing 
towards  me,  he  expected  me  to  remain  the  same  ;  but  to 
my  nature  these  cold  relations  were  intolerable,  and  I 
soon  began  to  think  myself  always  in  the  right  and  him 
in  the  wrong,  and  my  attachment  to  him  was  shaken. 

At  last  an  utterly  trifling  incident  finally  changed  the 


LIFE  AT  COLLEGE  139 

former  relations  between  us.  The  Bursar,  Markevitch, 
died.  I  have  said  already  that  he  always  showed  kindness 
to  me  and  that  I  was  much  attached  to  him.  But  I  had 
been  afraid  from  childhood  of  the  sight  of  a  dead  body, 
and,  therefore,  in  spite  of  the  arguments  and  remonstrances 
of  my  tutor,  I  positively  refused  to  attend  the  funeral.1 
Kartashevsky  came  back  from  the  sad  ceremony  and 
brought  with  him  Chekieff,  the  teacher  of  drawing.  I 
ought  first  to  say.  that  I  had  a  strong  dislike  for  this 
gentleman,  who  was  a  great  fop  and  annoyed  me  by  his 
silly  jokes.  It  was  always  a  surprise  to  me  that  my  tutor 
could  be  on  intimate  terms  with  such  a  fool ;  but  the 
simple  explanation  is,  that  they  had  been  school-fellows 
together  at  Moscow.  On  this  day  Chekieff  was  more 
troublesome  than  usual :  Why  had  I  not  been  at  the 
funeral  ?  Why  had  I  not  paid  the  last  tribute  of  respect 
to  one  who  was  so  fond  of  me  ?  He  declared  that  my 
conduct  proved  the  hardness  of  my  heart,  and  so  on.  In 
a  word,  he  teased  me  beyond  bounds  ;  and,  when  he  said 
with  a  sneer,  "  Confess  that  you  are  really  not  at  all 
afraid  of  dead  bodies,  and  that  this  fear  is  merely  a  selfish 
pretence " — I  grew  very  angry  and  answered  roughly 
and  rudely,  "  You  are  quite  right :  my  fear  of  dead  bodies 
is  a  mere  sham."  Now  that  I  consider  these  words 
coolly,  I  do  not  see  in  them  the  importance  which  my 
tutor  attached  to  them.  His  features  changed  with 
displeasure  ;  and  he  said  in  a  low  but  significant  voice  : 
"  After  the  language  which  you  have  ventured  to  address 
in  my  presence  to  my  friend  and  guest,  you  can  judge 
yourself  whether  we  are  likely  to  be  agreeable  to  one 
another.  Please  go  to  your  own  room."  Not  feeling 
myself  to  blame,  I  was  naturally  more  angry  than  ever, 
but  I  left  the  room  without  a  word.  This  took  place 
just  before  dinner,  when  the  meal  was  already  on  the 
table.  Yevseitch  came  after  me  with  my  knife  and  fork 
and  napkin ;  he  explained  that  my  tutor  ordered  me  to 
dine  in  my  room.  This  redoubled  my  fury  ;  and  nothing 
but  the  thought  of  my  mother  kept  me  from  going 
straight  to  my  tutor  and  pouring  out  a  torrent  of  abuse. 

1  At  Russian  funerals  it  is  the  custom  to  look  at  the  dead  before  the 
coffin  is  closed. 


140  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

I  must  do  justice  to  Chekieff :  he  went  on  for  a  long  time 
begging  Kartashevsky  to  pardon  me,  but  with  no  effect ; 
this  I  was  told  by  Yevseitch.  After  dinner  Chekieff  came 
to  my  door,  but  I  locked  myself  up  and  would  not  let 
him  in.  Next  day  my  tutor  summoned  me  and  said 
coldly  and  firmly  :  "  We  cannot  go  on  living  together, 
and  I  must  resign  my  position  as  your  tutor ;  but  we 
must  both  try  to  lighten  as  much  as  possible  the  blow 
which  our  separation  will  inflict  on  your  mother  ;  and  we 
must  manage  this  business  without  insulting  one  another." 
I  answered  that  he  had  anticipated  my  wish,  and  that  I 
had  intended  to  make  exactly  the  same  suggestion  to 
him.  "  Then  that  is  all  right,"  he  said  with  a  sneer,  and 
nodded  to  me  to  go.  I  went  off  to  my  room  and  gave 
myself  up  in  my  solitude  to  excitement  and  anger.  I 
thought  myself  entirely  in  the  right  and  my  tutor  entirely 
in  the  wrong. 

And  here  I  must  confess  to  an  action  which  it  is  difficult 
to  excuse  on  the  ground  of  irritation  and  impulsiveness. 
The  following  day  was  unluckily  post-day,  and  I  wrote  a 
long  letter  to  my  parents,  in  which  I  showed  no  mercy  to 
my  tutor  and  spoke  of  him  in  language  so  insulting  that  1 
blush  for  it  now.  If  I  had  put  off  writing  till  next  post 
I  should  have  thought  better  of  it,  beyond  doubt ;  but 
then,  and  often  afterwards  throughout  my  life,  I  was 
carried  away  by  my  impetuous  nature.  Next  day,  when 
the  letter  had  gone,  my  conscience  began  to  reproach  me, 
and  I  kept  constantly  thinking  of  my  tutor's  words,  that 
we  ought  not  to  insult  each  other.  But  what  were  my 
feelings,  when,  after  some  days  during  which  we  met  only 
at  dinner  and  hardly  spoke,  my  tutor  summoned  me  and 
read  over  to  me  a  very  long  letter  which  he  had  ready  to 
send  to  my  mother  !  This  letter  was  full  of  good  sense 
and  affectionate  feeling  :  he  confessed  himself  entirely 
unfit  to  go  on  acting  as  tutor  and  director  to  a  young 
man  who  could  no  longer  be  treated  as  a  boy  and  needed 
something  different ;  he  declared  that  he  had  no  idea  how 
to  tackle  such  a  problem  ;  he  felt  that  he  was  mismanaging 
it  and  might  in  this  way  do  me  harm.  Then  he  described 
in  detail  my  intellect  and  character  and  my  tastes,  and 
foretold  their  future  development ;  he  also  described  my 


LIFE  AT  COLLEGE  141 

defects  ;  but  the  bright  side  with  its  happy  promise  for 
the  future  was  thrown  into  relief,  and  he  spoke  indulgently 
of  my  failings,  and  said  that  time  and  experience  would 
root  them  out.  He  vouched  for  my  good  principles  ;  it 
would  be  quite  safe,  he  said,  for  me  to  live  alone  or  with 
a  friend,  Alexander  Panayeff  for  instance,  or  with  some 
professor,  not  as  a  pupil  but  as  a  young  friend ;  it  was 
even  desirable  that  I  should  be  my  own  master  for  a  year 
or  so  before  entering  on  a  profession  ;  it  would  be  bad  for 
me  to  pass  directly  from  the  control  of  a  strict  tutor  to 
independence  and  a  career  divided  between  society  and 
professional  occupations.  He  ended  by  saying  that  he 
intended  soon  to  leave  Kazan  for  Petersburg,  in  order 
to  take  steps  towards  getting  a  post  in  the  teaching 
profession  there  or  possibly  in  the  civil  service. 

The  effect  produced  on  me  by  this  letter  was  positively 
alarming  to  my  tutor.  Conscience-stricken  and  repentant, 
I  was  so  agitated  that  for  long  I  could  not  speak  a  word. 
Tears  at  last  relieved  the  burden  on  my  heart,  and  I  made 
a  clean  breast  of  my  letter  home,  expressed  all  my  old 
feeling  of  attachment,  and  begged  and  prayed  him  with 
tears  to  forget  what  I  had  done,  and  not  to  part  with  me 
till  he  went  to  Petersburg.  I  promised — and  I  should 
certainly  have  kept  the  promise — that,  however  severely 
he  might  treat  me,  I  should  not  feel  it,  far  less  resent  it. 
The  sincerity  of  my  repentance  and  distress  seemed  to 
shake  his  determination.  He  looked  at  me  long  and 
attentively,  and  then  began  to  walk  about  the  room ; 
at  last  he  said,  "  This  needs  thinking  over,"  and  let  me  go. 
Two  days  remained  before  the  next  post  went.  I  wrote 
another  letter  to  my  parents,  in  which  I  confessed  that  I 
was  entirely  to  blame  and  had  sinned  beyond  forgiveness  ; 
I  praised  my  tutor  enthusiastically,  described  the  whole 
affair  in  detail,  and  ended  by  saying  :  "  However  Karta- 
shevsky  treats  me — whether  he  lets  me  stay  or  drives  me 
from  him — I  shall  continue  to  love  him  as  a  second  father." 
Before  I  sent  off  the  letter,  I  took  it  to  my  tutor  and  asked 
if  he  wished  to  read  it.  He  refused,  saying  that  he  had 
already  sent  off  the  letter  I  had  heard,  and  that  the 
matter  was  definitely  settled.  To  me  this  was  a  blow  ; 
I  cannot  say  that  it  was  quite  unexpected,  but  it  was 


142  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

heavy  all  the  same  :  I  knew  that  no  attacks  would  make 
my  tutor  withdraw  from  his  position  ;  and  any  with- 
drawal would  have  been  useless,  because  his  letter  was 
already  posted.  There  was  nothing  to  be  done,  and  I 
made  haste  to  send  off  my  own  letter. 

The  picture  which  my  lively  imagination  painted  of 
my  mother's  despair  followed  me  day  and  night  till  grief 
made  me  ill.  Kartashevsky  frowned  at  this  :  he  dis- 
approved of  all  my  fits  of  excitement,  and  pointed  out 
the  obvious  danger  of  uncontrolled  feeling  in  any  direction  ; 
but  at  the  same  time  he  pitied  me  and  tried  to  comfort 
me  by  saying,  that  my  mother  would  take  it  much  more 
coolly  than  I  imagined,  that  our  parting  was  inevitable 
in  any  case,  and  that  my  second  letter — I  had  repeated  its 
contents  to  him — would  wipe  out  the  painful  impression 
left  by  its  predecessor.  I  took  some  comfort  from  his 
words  and  soon  got  well ;  and  before  long  a  letter  arrived 
from  Aksakovo,  which  entirely  confirmed  my  tutor's 
opinion.  My  father  and  mother  appreciated  my  repent- 
ance and  forgave  me  for  the  first  letter,  written  as  it  was 
in  a  fit  of  anger.  My  mother  put  entire  confidence  in 
my  tutor's  report  about  me,  and  her  loving  heart  was 
filled  with  bright  and  happy  hopes  for  the  future.  She 
believed  him  also  when  he  said  that  private  affairs  made 
it  necessary  for  him  to  leave  Kazan  without  delay.  She 
was  convinced  that  he  would  always  be  a  true  friend  of 
the  family,  and  that,  after  ceasing  to  be  my  tutor,  he 
would  draw  closer  to  me  and  like  me  better ;  and  that  I 
should  take  his  advice  with  more  readiness  and  more  in 
earnest,  when  it  came  unaccompanied  by  any  flavour  of 
authority.  Nor  was  she  mistaken  :  the  future  confirmed 
the  anticipations  of  her  rare  intelligence. 

My  summer  holiday  was  now  approaching.  Karta- 
shevsky intended  to  leave  for  Petersburg  in  another 
month,  and  my  mother  asked  him  to  make  arrangements 
for  my  future  residence  at  Kazan.  With  his  consent- — 
I  am  surprised  that  he  gave  it — I  arranged  with  Levitsky, 
the  assistant  professor  of  Philosophy  and  Logic,  that  I 
should  live  in  his  house,  paying  a  small  sum  for  board 
and  lodging  and  also  looking  after  his  three  pupils  who 
were  pensioners  in  the  school.  All  three  boys  were  as 


LIFE  AT  COLLEGE  143 

old  as  myself,  and  great  scamps,  though  I  had  no  idea  of 
this  at  the  time.  I  parted  with  Kartashevsky  with  much 
feeling  and  even  wept ;  and  he  was  much  moved  himself, 
but  tried  as  usual  to  hide  his  feeling  by  jesting  and  even 
making  fun  of  my  sensibility. 

In  spite  of  the  confusion  and  unrest  which  troubled  rny 
life  at  this  time  in  my  tutor's  house,  Panayeff  and  I  con- 
tinued to  interest  ourselves  in  literature  and  to  collect 
butterflies  ;  my  friend  was  very  neat  and  skilful  with 
his  hands,  and  could  set  butterflies  to  perfection.  I 
wrote  several  poems  and  a  prose  article  entitled  Friend- 
ship, and  showed  them  to  my  friend.  He  approved  of 
them,  but  made  some  criticisms  which  seemed  to  me 
unfounded.  I  shall  insert  here  my  first  childish  verses, 
of  which,  however,  I  have  forgotten  half;  and  thus  I 
celebrate  my  jubilee  after  fifty  years  spent  in  spoiling 
paper.  I  should  add  that  I  had  no  cruel  charmer ;  in 
fact  I  was  not  acquainted  with  any  young  lady. 

TO  A  NIGHTINGALE 

O  friend  of  Spring,  dearest  of  songsters, 

Be  thou  alone  my  comfort ! 

Lighten  the  cruel  pain 

That  devours  my  passionate  heart. 

Sing  the  charms  of  my  loved  one, 
Sing  my  fiery  love  for  her, 
Recount  all  my  sufferings, 
Recount  my  days  of  mourning. 

Let  her  hear  thy  voice, 
Let  her  know  who  taught  thee  ! 
It  may  be,  the  hardhearted  one 
For  pity's  sake  will  sigh  for  me. 

It  may  be,  she  will  learn  from  thee 
That  love  for  man  is  happiness ; 
It  may  be,  she  will  feel  at  last 
That  life  without  love  is  misery. 

(Several  stanzas  are  wanting). 

Such  were  the  unrhymed  verses  with  which  I  made  my 
appearance  on  the  literary  stage,  while  J  was  still  a  boy  at 


144  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

school  in  the  year  1805.  But  I  soon  considered  these 
verses  "  unworthy  of  my  pen,"  and  did  not  give  them  a 
place  in  our  magazine  of  1806.  All  my  subsequent  poems 
were  in  rhyme ;  and  they  are  all  completely  devoid  of 
any  merit,  even  if  allowances  be  made  ;  they  show  not  the 
smallest  sign  of  a  gift  for  poetry. 

I  spent  the  summer  vacation  of  1805  at  Aksakovo, 
and  somehow  I  remember  little  about  it,  except  that  I 
was  keenly  interested  in  shooting  and  butterflies ;  I 
seldom  fished,  probably  because  the  larger  fish  do  not  take 
freely  at  that  season. 

I  found  my  mother  in  a  bad  state  of  health,  and  learnt 
that  this  was  the  only  reason  that  prevented  her  from 
setting  out  for  Kazan  when  she  heard  of  the  breach 
between  me  and  Kartashevsky.  I  still  confided  every- 
thing to  her  without  reserve ;  and,  when  I  had  told  her 
all  the  minutest  particulars  of  my  life  and  even  my 
thoughts,  she  felt  happy  about  me.  In  spite  of  my  youth, 
she  let  me  go  back  to  Kazan  to  live  with  a  professor  of 
whom  she  knew  nothing,  with  a  full  belief  in  the  steadiness 
of  my  principles  and  the  blamelessness  of  my  conduct. 

On  returning  to  Kazan,  I  went  straight  to  Levitsky's 
house.  Not  long  before  my  return,  Kartashevsky  had 
left  for  Petersburg,  and  I  was  much  surprised  to  hear  that 
he  had  spent  a  whole  month  of  the  vacation  in  idleness  at 
Kazan.  Until  a  new  professor  was  appointed,  the  teaching 
of  higher  mathematics  was  entrusted  to  a  student, 
Alexander  KnyazheVitch,  whose  remarkable  powers  gave 
promise  of  a  distinguished  career  in  that  branch  of 
learning.1  It  was  impossible  for  me  to  stay  long  with 
Levitsky :  a  fatal  passion  for  drink  had  completely 
mastered  him,  and  at  this  time  he  shut  himself  up  every 
evening  to  gratify  it ;  his  pupils  were  absolutely  free  to 
do  as  they  liked  and  learnt  nothing  at  all.  I  soon  grew 
tired  of  looking  after  these  young  scapegraces  ;  and,  with 
my  parents'  consent,  I  parted  from  Levitsky  at  the  end 
of  two  months  and  took  lodgings  in  the  house  of  a  German, 
named  Hermann,  near  the  theatre.  Here  I  settled  down 
by  myself  and  began  for  the  first  time  to  live  alone  and 
uncontrolled.  Panayeff  and  I  were  almost  inseparable, 

1  He  became  Minister  of  Finance  in  the  Russian  Government. 


LIFE  AT  COLLEGE  145 

and  we  took  another  student,  D.  Perevoshchikoff,1  into 
our  literary  partnership.     We  translated  tales  by  Mar- 
montel,  those  which  Karamzin  had  not  translated ;    we 
wrote  original  poetry  and  prose,  and  each  read  his  trans- 
lations and  compositions  to  the  other  two.     I  had  planned 
to  translate  Marmontel  before  I  left  Levitsky,  and  I  told 
him  so  one  day,  before  dinner,  of  course,  while  he  was 
still  sober  ;    and  I  clearly  remember  how  insulted  I  was 
by  his  reply :    "  Translate  Marmontel  after  Karamzin  ! 
You  are  a  bold  man  ;  but '  fools  rush  in  where  angels  fear 
to  tread.5 '      But  these  words  did  not  stop  us.     At  last 
Panayeff  and   I  determined  to  publish   a  magazine   in 
manuscript  in  the  coming  year  of  1806 ;    it  was  to  be 
called  A  Journal  of  our  Occupations,  and  no  editor's  name 
was  to  appear.     This  was  a  more  serious  undertaking 
than  Shepherds  of  Arcadia,  and  I  did  all  I  could  to  keep 
out  of  this  magazine  all  mechanical  imitation  of  Karam- 
zin, and  to  discourage  the  predilection  of  my  friend  for 
pastoral  writing.     Against  the  former  I  was  struggling  at 
this  time  with  all  my  might,  and  I  found  support  in  a 
book  by  Shishkoff,2  A  Discussion  of  the  Old  and  New 
Styles,  which  carried  me  to  the  opposite  extreme.     I  shall 
speak  of  this  in  more  detail  elsewhere.     I  have  preserved 
three  small  volumes  of  our  magazine ;    and  I  see  that  it 
began  in  April  and  appeared  for  the  last  time  in  December. 
These  volumes  do  not  contain  a  single  article,  original  or 
translated,   from  my   pen,   though   I   remember  that   I 
wrote  many ;    I  am  sorry,  because  it  would  interest  me 
now  to  see  how  I  expressed  my  literary  creed  of  those 
days. 

Meantime,  at  the  end  of  1805  and  in  the  following 
January,  the  students  twice  acted  plays  without  my 
taking  part  in  them.  This  deprivation  was  a  bitter  pill 
to  me  :  my  love  for  acting  was  ungratified,  and  my  vanity 
was  hurt  by  the  success  of  my  rival,  Dmitrieff ;  but  there 
was  nothing  to  be  done.  The  actors  proposed  that  I 
should  rejoin  the  company ;  but  I  had  not  yet  forgotten 

1  Afterwards  famous  as  a  mathematician  and  astronomer. 

8  Aksakoff  wrote  a  very  entertaining  account  of  his  acquaintance  with 
Shishkoff  at  Petersburg  in  later  years.  Shishkoff,  an  admiral  and  high 
official,  was  also  an  ardent  philologer  and  purist  in  style ;  he  was  the 
most  absent-minded  and  disinterested  of  men  in  private  life. 

K 


146  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

their  insulting  treatment  of  me,  and  my  reply  was : 
"  You  don't  want  me,  you  have  got  Dmitrieff  who  plays 
my  parts  excellently."  "  Well,  just  as  you  choose ! 
Sulk,  if  you  like  !  We  can  get  on  without  you,"  said 
Balyasnikoff  the  manager ;  and  there  the  matter  ended. 
There  was  no  ill-feeling,  however :  I  attended  rehearsals 
and  gave  my  advice  to  any  who  asked  it.  The  first 
performance  was  Kotzebue's  comedy,  Misanthropy  and 
Remorse ;  and  Dmitrieff  played  "  The  Stranger "  with 
great  success.  He  had  no  idea  how  to  hold  himself; 
his  attitudes  were  absurd,  and  his  gestures  still  more  so, 
because  he  used  his  right  hand  only  while  his  left  remained 
as  if  tied  behind  his  back ;  and  in  ordinary  conversation 
with  his  servant  and  the  poor  old  man,  his  acting  was 
positively  bad.  Yet  in  the  scene  with  the  friend  to  whom 
he  tells  his  misfortunes,  and  in  the  reconciliation  with  his 
wife,  Dmitrieff  showed  such  power  of  feeling  that  all 
the  spectators,  myself  included,  were  quite  carried  away 
and  expressed  their  delight  by  frantic  applause.  At 
first,  I  felt  nothing  but  delight,  and  no  trace  of  jealousy 
had  stolen  into  my  heart ;  but  afterwards  I  was  deeply 
wounded  by  some  remarks  of  the  students,  especially  the 
actors,  and  then  the  green-eyed  monster  took  up  its 
abode  in  my  breast.  They  said  very  rudely  :  "  Well, 
we  got  on  all  right  without  you.  You  could  never  play 
'  The  Stranger  *  like  Dmitrieff.  The  people  who  praised 
you  had  never  seen  him.""  It  was  true  that  his  success  in 
the  part  had  been  much  more  brilliant  than  mine ;  and 
yet  I  had  a  few  partisans  who  maintained  that  my  per- 
formance was  better,  and  that  Dmitrieff  caricatured  the 
part,  succeeding  only  in  a  few  striking  passages  ;  I,  they 
said,  was  a  real  actor  and  did  justice  to  the  part  from 
beginning  to  end,  from  the  first  word  to  the  last.  This 
was  partly  true ;  and  I  conceived  an  intense  desire  to 
study  the  part  of  "  The  Stranger  "  and  then  to  act  it  in 
such  a  way  as  totally  to  eclipse  my  rival. 

At  the  beginning  of  1806  the  students  gave  a  second 
performance  in  which  they  acted  another  play  by 
Kotzebue,  Poverty  and  Honour ;  and  Dmitrieff  took  the 
part  of  Heinrich  Blum,  and  scored  another  success, 
though  it  was  not  so  great  a  success  as  "  The  Stranger." 


LIFE  AT  COLLEGE  147 

My  champions  declared  that  I  would  have  been  beyond 
comparison  better  as  Heinrich  Blum.  Spurred  on  by 
jealousy  and  vanity,  I  worked  up  both  these  parts  with 
great  care  and  then  recited  them,  or  rather  acted  the 
striking  passages  of  both,  before  a  large  audience  of 
students.  They  were  not  all  predisposed  to  favour  me, 
but  they  all  felt  the  difference  between  me  and  my  rival, 
between  his  powerful  but  uncouth  expression  of  feeling 
and  my  more  polished  and  natural  acting.  And  now  two 
parties  of  equal  strength  arose  among  the  students,  one 
for  me  and  the  other  against ;  and  this  was  a  first  step 
on  the  way  to  triumph.  There  were  noisy  disputes  which 
led  on  to  quarrels  and  all  but  ended  in  blows.  This  was 
some  consolation  to  my  vanity  ;  and  before  long  a  sudden 
turn  made  me  the  spoilt  child  of  fortune.  Dmitrieff, 
who  was  now  over  twenty,  became  discontented  with 
the  instruction  given  by  the  professors,  which,  to  tell 
the  truth,  was  very  unsatisfactory.  There  may  have 
been  other  reasons  as  well — I  do  not  know ;  anyhow, 
he  decided  to  enter  the  Army  and  left  the  University  at 
short  notice  ;  being  a  good  mathematician,  he  chose  the 
Artillery.  The  bereaved  company  was  forced  to  appeal 
to  me  for  aid.  Taking  advantage  of  the  position,  I  would 
not  consent  for  a  long  time,  though  they  offered  to  re- 
appoint  me  as  manager.  At  last,  when  I  had  coquetted 
long  enough,  I  agreed,  on  the  following  conditions : 
(1)  the  title  and  office  of  manager  were  to  be  abolished, 
and  a  committee  of  three  to  be  elected  to  manage  the 
company ;  (2)  our  performances  were  to  begin  with  a 
repetition  of  the  two  plays,  Misanthropy  and  Remorse 
and  Poverty  and  Honour.  As  a  matter  of  course,  they  all 
agreed  to  my  conditions. 

The  former  play  was  performed  in  Easter  week. 
Gruzinoff,  an  actor  at  the  Kazan  theatre  for  whom  we 
all  had  much  liking  and  respect,  came  somehow  to  be  in- 
vited to  the  dress  rehearsal.  The  piece  had  been  acted 
by  the  students  twice  before  ;  we  all  worked  hard,  and  I 
harder  than  any  one  ;  and  the  result  was  fairly  successful. 
Gruzinoff  was  astonished :  he  could  not  believe  his  own 
eyes  and  ears.  He  praised  us  so  highly  that  Yessipoff, 
the  manager  of  the  town  theatre,  bestirred  himself  to  get 


148  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

Yakovnin's  permission  to  attend  the  actual  performance, 
and  not  only  came  himself  but  brought  with  him  four 
actors,  of  whom  Gruzinoff  was  one.  At  last  I  had  the 
opportunity  which  I  had  so  long  desired  and  looked 
forward  to.  My  youthful  vanity  was  satisfied  :  all  the 
students  said  that  I  had  excelled  myself  and  quite  dis- 
tanced Dmitrieff.  What  more  could  I  wish  ?  Alas  for 
the  transitory  nature  of  earthly  glory  !  But  two  or  three 
months  had  passed  since  the  triumph  of  Dmitrieff ;  and 
now  only  one  or  two  of  his  partisans  were  left,  who  said 
in  whispers,  that  Dmitrieff  acted  the  part  not  worse  than 
Aksakoff,  and  some  passages  better ;  and  this  was  per- 
fectly true.  A  good  many  strangers  saw  the  play,  and 
they  praised  me  to  the  skies  ;  but  my  glory  derived 
its  chief  brilliance  and  permanence  from  the  praise  of 
Yessipoff  and  his  actors,  whose  verdict  was  with  justice 
considered  to  carry  weight.  In  the  other  play,  Poverty 
and  Honour,  which  had  been  acted  already  early  in  the 
year,  I  hoped  to  win  a  still  greater  triumph  ;  and  the 
reader  will  see  that  I  was  not  disappointed. 

I  must  now  go  back  in  my  narrative.  Kartashevsky, 
owing  to  his  long  delay  in  Kazan,  outstayed  his  leave  of 
absence  and  was  more  than  a  month  late  in  returning. 
He  did  not  present  any  medical  certificate  or  state  any 
urgent  reasons  which  might  have  justified  or  at  least 
excused  his  absence.  The  University  authorities  were 
displeased  at  his  conduct  and  passed  a  vote  of  censure 
at  their  council :  they  fined  him  and  entered  on  his 
certificate  the  fact  of  his  absence  without  leave.  He  was 
offended  and  asked  leave  to  resign  his  post.  After  some 
delay,  he  was  allowed  to  resign  ;  but  it  was  resolved  to 
enter  his  offence  and  punishment  on  his  leaving  certificate. 
He  refused  to  accept  such  a  certificate,  left  the  place,  and 
entered  the  public  service  at  Petersburg  without  any 
certificate  ;  the  department  he  joined  was  the  Legislative 
Commission.  After  a  long  time  and  much  trouble,  he 
procured  an  order  from  the  Minister  of  Education,  that 
the  University  should  issue  a  certificate  without  the  ob- 
jectionable particulars.  I  often  saw  my  former  tutor 
before  he  left  Kazan,  and  I  felt  at  parting  that  he  was  a 
kind  friend  older  than  myself,  whom  I  had  to  thank  for 


LIFE  AT  COLLEGE  149 

the  purity  of  my  ideals  and  convictions.  What  my 
mother  had  foretold  was  beginning  to  come  true. 

In  the  year  1806  another  event  took  place,  the  im- 
portance of  which  was  long  unrealised  by  me,  though 
its  consequences  entirely  changed  the  position  of  my 
family.  Praskovya  Ivanovna  Kurolyessova  died,  after 
suffering  for  nearly  a  year  from  dropsy.  During  all  this 
time  my  parents  lived  at  Old  Aksakovo  with  their  other 
children ;  I  mean,  that  the  children  lived  at  Aksakovo, 
while  my  father  and  mother  never  left  the  sufferer  who 
was  at  Choorassovo ;  but,  when  she  was  removed  to 
Simbirsk,  our  whole  family  went  there  too.  Praskovya 
Ivanovna  was  a  remarkable  woman :  she  bore  her 
grievous  illness  with  astonishing  patience,  calmness,  and 
even  cheerfulness,  and  she  faced  death  with  a  degree  of 
fortitude  of  which  few  are  capable.  She  had  twice  been 
tapped  for  dropsy ;  when  the  operation  had  been  per- 
formed a  third  time,  her  doctor,  a  Jew,  looked  at  the 
wounds,  and  expressed  much  satisfaction  with  the  result. 
"  Jew,  hold  your  tongue  !  "  said  the  patient ;  "I  can  see 
that  the  end  is  coming.  There  is  a  great  change  in  me, 
and  that  is  erysipelas  on  my  skin.  I  do  not  fear  death  ; 
I  got  ready  for  it  long  ago.  But  tell  me,  thou  seed  of 
Jacob,  how  long  I  have  to  live."  The  doctor,  though 
he  was  accustomed  to  be  addressed  in  this  fashion,  never 
failed  to  resent  it ;  he  answered  in  relentless  tones,  ""  You 
will  live  four  days  more."  "  Thank  you  for  telling  the 
truth,"  answered  the  patient,  and  this  time  she  spoke 
quite  politely ;  "  now  goodbye  !  I  thank  you  for  your 
trouble  and  beg  you  not  to  come  again.  I  shall  order 
your  fees  to  be  paid  at  once."  Then  she  assembled  all 
the  household,  and  announced  that  she  was  dying  ;  she 
refused  any  further  treatment  and  asked  to  be  left  in 
peace  ;  no  one  was  to  stay  in  the  room,  except  one  person 
to  read  the  Gospel  aloud.  She  turned  to  my  father  and 
asked,  "  Have  I  done  all  that  ought  to  be  done  ?  is 
nothing  more  needed  ?  "  "  Nothing,  aunt,"  he  replied  ; 
"  you  settled  everything  long  ago."  "  Well,  that  is  all 
right,"  said  the  patient ;  "  I  wish  no  one  to  be  distressed 
about  me.  Now,  please  leave  the  room." 

Praskovya  Ivanovna  lived  on  for  five  days.     She  spent 


150  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

the  whole  of  that  time  in  repeating  prayers,  or  singing  part 
of  the  Church  service,  or  listening  while  the  Gospel  was 
read.  About  worldly  affairs  she  did  not  speak  a  single 
word  to  any  one.  By  her  desire,  all  took  farewell  of  her 
in  silence,  and  she  spoke  just  four  parting  words  to  each 
member  of  the  household,  even  to  her  hall-porter — "  For- 
give me,  a  sinner  !  "  I  heard  of  all  this  by  letters  from 
my  family ;  but  they  told  me  nothing  more.  Before 
long,  I  heard  that  I  had  a  third  sister,  and  that,  though 
my  mother  had  been  desperately  ill,  all  was  now  going 
on  well.  I  was  alarmed  at  first,  but  then  took  courage  ; 
and  further  letters  set  my  mind  completely  at  rest  on  the 
score  of  my  mother's  health. 

Panayeff  and  I  went  on  zealously  with  the  old  occupa- 
tions— working  at  literature,  visiting  the  theatre,  and 
collecting  butterflies  when  the  spring  came  on.  I  must 
confess  with  shame  that,  apart  from  these  hobbies,  I  was 
idle  enough,  and  that  my  distractions  from  study  were 
frequent  and  absorbing. 

Among  these  distractions  I  may  reckon  the  formation 
of  a  small  Literary  Club,  with  Ibrahimoff  as  president. 
The  founders  and  original  members  were  Ibrahimoff, 
Bogdanoff,  a  teacher  in  the  school,  and  six  students,  in- 
cluding Panayeff  and  myself.  We  met  every  Saturday 
to  read  our  compositions  and  translations  in  verse  and 
prose.  Every  member  had  the  right  of  criticism,  and  the 
articles  were  sometimes  corrected  on  the  spot,  if  the  author 
admitted  the  justice  of  the  improvements  suggested ; 
there  was  never  any  quarrelling.  If  any  piece  was 
accepted,  it  was  copied  out  in  a  book  which  we  started 
for  the  purpose.  After  I  left  Kazan,  the  membership 
was  increased  and  byelaws  drawn  up  ;  and  finally  "  The 
Society  of  Lovers  of  Russian  Literature  at  Kazan 
University  "  was  formally  opened  by  permission  of  the 
Imperial  Government.  It  still  exists,  but,  like  all  Literary 
Societies,  in  a  state  of  suspended  animation.  I  have  still 
the  distinction  of  ranking  as  an  honorary  member. 

There  happened  about  this  time  at  Kazan  a  remarkable 
incident  in  which  I  was  directly  concerned.  A  private 
school  for  boys  and  girls  was  kept  in  the  town  by  a 
German  couple,  of  the  name  of  Wilfing.  Having  no 


LIFE  AT  COLLEGE  151 

children   of  their   own,   they   had   adopted   a   destitute 
orphan,  Marya  Kermik,  who  was  now  grown  up  and  very 
pretty.     Kartashevsky  sometimes  called  on  the  Wilfings 
and  took  me  there  twice  ;  but,  at  the  time  I  am  speaking 
of,  I  had  not  been  there  for  more  than  six  months.     A 
chance  meeting  in  the  course  of  a  jaunt  out  of  the  town 
renewed  the  acquaintance ;    and  the  girl's  beauty  soon 
asserted  its  influence  over  me.     I  naturally  revealed  my 
secret  to  my  bosom  friend,  Panayeff ;    he  was  delighted, 
embraced  me  warmly,  and  congratulated  me  on  "  beginning 
to  live."     He  used  every  effort  to  fan  the  spark  which 
had  dropped  upon  my  youthful  heart.     As  Marya  was  a 
very  quiet  modest  girl,  all  her  many  admirers  sighed  for 
her  at  a  respectful  distance ;    and  of  my  feelings  she  had 
of  course  no  idea.     Visionary  hopes  and  visionary  dis- 
appointments,   which   I    expressed   in   wretched   boyish 
verses,  were  still  going  on  when  suddenly  a  mysterious 
traveller,  a  Swedish  Count,  turned  up  at  Kazan  for  a  short 
stay.    He  made  the  acquaintance  of  the  Wilfings  and 
charmed  them  all ;    he  went  there  daily  and  spent  the 
whole  day  at  their  house.     He  was  a  handsome  man  of 
about  thirty-five,  clever,  pleasant,  and  lively,  a  skilful 
artist  and  a  master  of  many  languages,  and  an  author 
as  well  both  in  verse  and  prose.     In  three  days,   the 
Wilfings  were  raving  about  him  ;    in  a  week,  Marya  had 
fallen  in  love  with  him ;  and,  at  the  end  of  another  fort- 
night, he  married  her  and  carried  her  off  with  him  to 
Siberia,  where  he  had  been  sent  by  Government  to  conduct 
some  scientific  investigation,  with  an  official  to  act  as  in- 
terpreter, because  the  Count  himself  did  not  understand 
a  word  of  Russian.     The  Wilfings  found  it  hard  to  part 
with  their  adopted  daughter,  whom  they  loved  as  if  she 
had  been  their  own  ;  but  they  did  not  venture  to  complain 
at  a  match  which  seemed  so  enviable,  so  astonishing,  and 
so  dazzling.     She  was  a  baker's  daughter,  and  she  had 
married  a  Count,  who  adored  his  wife  and  was  richly 
endowed  with  every  gift  of  nature  and  education.     People 
less   simple  than  the  Wilfings  might  easily  have  been 
seduced  by  an  event  so  wonderful. 

But  alas  !    the  riddle  was  soon  explained.     The  Count 
had  conferred  this  title  on  himself;    he  was  a  notorious 


152  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

swindler  and  adventurer,  well  known  for  his  exploits  in 
Germany  under  the  name  of  Aschenbrenner.  From 
Germany  he  had  fled  to  Russia  for  fear  of  the  police ; 
he  became  a  Russian  subject  and  spent  several  years  in 
the  western  provinces,  where  he  was  implicated  in  many 
frauds  and  finally  banished  to  Siberia.  The  official  who 
accompanied  him  was  a  police  officer  with  a  German 
name,  whose  business  it  was  to  convey  his  charge  incognito 
to  Irkutsk,  and  hand  him  over  personally  to  the  governor 
there  for  rigorous  supervision.  But  all  these  facts  were 
somehow  kept  from  the  public  and  from  the  Wilfings. 
The  traveller  had  no  need  of  an  interpreter ;  for  it  was 
afterwards  discovered  that  he  spoke  Russian  very  well. 
In  the  course  of  his  journey  he  wrote  himself  to  the 
Wilfings  and  informed  them  of  the  imposture ;  he  said 
he  had  been  driven  to  it  by  the  irresistible  power  of  love  ; 
of  course  he  called  himself  the  victim  of  calumny,  and 
hoped  to  be  cleared  and  compensated  for  his  undeserved 
sufferings.  His  wife  wrote  too :  she  said  that,  though 
she  knew  all,  she  still  thanked  God  for  her  happiness. 
Later,  some  one  sent  to  the  Wilfings  a  German  work  in 
two  volumes,  which  contained  a  narrative  of  the  sham 
Count's  adventures  written  by  himself.  The  man  was 
the  Vidocq  of  his  time.  The  old  Wilfings  were  inconsolable. 
I  never  could  find  out  what  was  Marya's  ultimate  fate. 
Such  was  the  sorrowful  ending  of  my  first  love-story. 

For  the  summer  vacation  I  went  again  to  Old  Aksakovo, 
where  my  family  then  was.  I  arrived  late  in  the  evening, 
when  everyone  was  in  bed ;  but  my  mother  expected 
me  on  that  day,  and,  when  she  heard  the  sound  of  my 
arrival,  came  out  to  meet  me  on  the  steps  and  took  me 
straight  to  her  bedroom,  where  I  embraced  both  my 
parents  and  found  much  to  tell  and  many  questions  to 
ask.  Then  I  went  to  sleep  on  the  sofa  in  their  room. 
When  I  awoke  rather  late,  I  overheard  my  parents  talking 
in  subdued  voices  of  some  business  which  was  a  mystery 
to  me.  Then  my  mother  noticed  that  I  was  not  asleep, 
and  said  in  a  low  voice  to  my  father,  "  We  must  tell 
Seryozha  the  whole  story ;  of  course  he  is  still  quite 
in  the  dark."  "  Do,  my  dear,"  said  my  father.  "  Are 
you  awake,  Seryozha  ?  "  **  Yes,  mother,"  I  answered. 


LIFE  AT  COLLEGE  %  153 

"  Then  come  here  beside  us.  We  must  tell  you  of  some- 
thing that  has  happened  to  us.  We  have  become  rich." 
I  got  off  the  sofa  and  sat  down  on  their  bed ;  and  they 
told  me  fully  and  in  minute  detail  the  facts  which  I  shall 
try  to  convey  in  a  few  words. 

When  Praskovya  Ivanovna  suddenly  became  seriously 
ill  of  dropsy,  she  lost  no  time  in  making  my  father 
the  legal  heir  to  all  her  property,  real  and  personal. 
The  whole  affair  was  settled  in  the  course  of  a  few  days  ; 
all  the  district  judges  travelled  to  Choorassovo  for  the 
purpose,  and  some  persons  of  credit  in  the  town  came  as 
witnesses.  In  the  presence  of  them  all,  Praskovya 
Ivanovna  signed  the  necessary  documents,  and  confirmed 
them  by  a  verbal  declaration.  When  all  was  done,  she 
ordered  champagne  to  be  served,  took  a  glass  herself,  and 
proposed  the  health  of  her  heir  in  cheerful  terms.  I 
ought  to  say  that  she  was  dangerously  ill  at  the  time, 
and  that  the  doctor  who  had  been  summoned  at  once 
from  Simbirsk,  the  best  doctor  at  that  time  and  a  Jew, 
had  no  hope  of  her  recovery.  He  determined  to  relieve 
her  by  tapping,  though  he  would  not  for  a  moment 
guarantee  the  result  of  the  operation ;  but  she  retained 
so  much  natural  force  that  she  soon  conquered  the  disease 
and  was  perfectly  well  in  a  very  short  time.  Unfor- 
tunately Praskovya  Ivanovna  did  not  believe  in  the 
danger  of  chills  and  regarded  diet  as  a  mere  whimsy  of 
doctors.  Therefore,  she  resumed  her  former  life  and 
caught  a  chill,  which  was  followed  by  indigestion  and  a 
return  of  dropsy.  A  second  operation  was  less  successful 
and  only  postponed  the  fatal  event.  The  patient  was 
taken  to  Simbirsk,  where  after  a  third  operation  she  died  ; 
but  of  this  I  have  spoken  already. 

Our  accession  to  wealth  had  surprising  results  :  it  was 
sand  in  the  eyes  to  people  in  general,  and  it  raised  a 
ferment  of  envy  in  the  breasts  of  near  friends  and  even  of 
relations. 

Praskovya  Ivanovna  had  sundry  poor  debtors.  When 
she  was  reminded  of  this  on  her  death-bed,  she  said  that 
her  money  was  not  stolen  or  ill-gotten,  and  she  did  not 
intend  to  give  it  away.  My  parents,  however,  forgave 
debts  of  this  kind  to  the  amount  of  20,000  roubles,  and 


154  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

gave  the  debtors  to  understand  that  Praskovya  Ivanovna 
had  changed  her  mind  and  wished  them  not  to  be  worried 
for  payment.  But  this  generosity  disarmed  no  enemy 
and  earned  no  gratitude  for  people  who  had  inherited 
wealth ;  and  my  parents,  much  mortified,  went  off  after 
a  few  months  to  Aksakovo,  intending  to  live  there. 

I  can  honestly  say  that  change  of  fortune  produced  no 
impression  at  all  upon  me.  I  spent  the  whole  vacation 
partly  in  shooting,  partly  in  studying  plays.  When  I 
went  back  to  Kazan,  I  was  just  the  same  thoughtless  and 
far  from  wealthy  student  that  I  was  before ;  and  for  a 
long  time  I  forgot  even  to  tell  my  bosom  friend,  Panayeff, 
of  the  fortunate  change  in  our  circumstances.  But  in 
my  family  I  noticed  a  change.  There  was  some  talk  of 
going  to  Kazan  for  the  winter ;  a  letter  was  sent  to 
Moscow,  asking  an  old  friend  there  to  discover  and  engage 
a  Frenchwoman  as  governess  to  my  sisters  ;  and  there 
was  even  a  plan  of  going  ourselves  to  Moscow  for  the 
following  winter,  and  to  Petersburg  in  the  summer,  that 
I  might  enter  some  department  of  the  civil  service.  In 
order  to  carry  out  this  last  plan,  it  was  settled  that  I  should 
leave  college  in  the  following  year,  i.e.  1807.  To  all  this 
I  listened  with  tolerable  indifference  :  I  felt  no  vocation  at 
all  for  the  civil  sendee  and  no  desire  to  go  to  Petersburg  ; 
I  even  thought  it  was  all  mere  talk  and  speculation,  but 
I  was  mistaken.  A  month  after  I  returned  to  Kazan,  I 
got  a  letter  from  my  father,  telling  me  to  make  inquiries 
and  take  a  large  house,  with  comfortable  accommodation 
for  all  our  family  and  separate  rooms  as  well  for  two 
half-sisters  of  my  mother's,  who  had  lived  till  then  at 
Kazan  with  other  relations.  My  mother  added  that,  as 
she  intended  to  go  into  society  on  their  account,  she  must 
make  acquaintance  with  the  best  people  in  the  town. 
I  was  very  glad,  both  on  my  own  account  and  for  my 
aunts,  whom  I  met  fairly  often  and  was  really  fond  of. 
Without  delay  I  took  a  large  stone  house,  belonging  to  a 
merchant  named  Komaroff,  and  moved  into  it  myself; 
I  occupied  one  snug  room  on  the  first  floor,  and  waited 
for  the  family  to  arrive. 

In  the  University  life  went  on  as  before.  There  were 
four  new  professors,  two  of  them  Germans.  The  Russians 


LIFE  AT  COLLEGE  155 

were  Kamensky,  an  assistant  professor  in  the  department 
of  Medicine,  a  man  of  remarkable  eloquence,  and  Gorod- 
chaninoff,  a  teacher  of  small  capacity  and  old-fashioned 
ideas,  who  lectured  on  Russian  Literature.  (I  forgot  to 
say  that  his  predecessor,  poor  Levitsky,  died  of  dropsy 
due  to  his  excesses  and  was  sincerely  regretted  by  us  all.) 
At  his  opening  lecture  Gorodchaninoff  began  with  a  silly 
pompous  greeting  to  his  audience,  and  then,  in  order  to 
improve  his  acquaintance  with  us,  proposed  that  each  of 
us  should  name  the  Russian  author  he  liked  best  and  also 
his  favourite  passage  in  that  author.  As  such  a  question 
is  difficult  to  answer  on  the  spur  of  the  moment,  each  of 
us  gave  whatever  answer  came  into  his  head.  Many 
named  Karamzin,  but  the  professor  frowned  and  expressed 
his  regret  to  find  the  atmosphere  of  a  University  infected 
by  so  dangerous  a  writer.  My  neighbour  then  whispered 
to  me,  "  Watch  me,  Aksakoff,  playing  up  to  the  old 
gentleman  !  " — and,  when  his  turn  came,  he  actually 
got  up  and  said  in  a  loud  voice,  "  Of  all  writers  I  prefer 
Sumar6koff,  and  I  rank  highest  of  all  his  poetry  the 
dying  words  of  Dmitri  the  Usurper  in  the  famous  tragedy 
of  that  name  : 

'  Go  down  to  Hell,  my  soul,  to  lie  in  chains  for  aye  ! ' ' 

Then  he  pretended  to  stab  himself  with  a  roll  of  paper, 
and  added  the  following  line  : 

"  I  would  that  all  mankind  might  share  my  fate  this  day  !" 

The  students  could  hardly  help  laughing ;  but  the  pro- 
fessor was  so  delighted  that  he  jumped  down  from  his 
raised  platform,  called  my  friend  up,  shook  hands  with 
him,  and  expressed  a  desire  for  their  better  acquaintance. 
Thereupon  he  observed  that  no  literature  in  the  world 
could  show  a  more  powerful  verse  than  the  second  of 
these.  My  turn  came  next.  I  said  that  Lomonossoff 
was  my  favourite  author,  and  that  among  all  his  writings 
I  preferred  the  Ode  from  Jehovah.  The  professor's  face 
shone  with  satisfaction.  "  May  I  trouble  you  to  repeat 
something  from  that  noble  poem?" — he  said.  This  was 
exactly  what  I  wanted,  for  I  hoped  to  petrify  the  professor 
by  my  reciting.  But  fate  punished  me  cruelly  for  my 


156  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

vanity  and  my  love  of  bygone  writers.  I  meant  to  begin 
with  two  famous  lines  by  Lomonossoff — 

"  O  man,  who  vainly  in  thy  sorrow 
Dost  murmur  at  the  will  of  God  " — 

but  with  incredible  carelessness  I  came  out  with  a  parody 
of  the  verses  instead.  "  My  dear  sir  !  "  cried  out  the 
professor ;  "  that  is  a  shocking  travesty  of  the  noble 
poem ! "  I  blushed  with  confusion,  tried  again  at  once, 
and  repeated  my  mistake  !  The  whole  room  burst  into 
a  roar  of  laughter ;  I  could  not  understand  how  I  had 
done  such  a  thing  ;  I  was  burning  with  shame  and  stupe- 
fied with  annoyance  and  confusion.  The  professor  con- 
temptuously told  me  to  sit  down  and  went  on  question- 
ing the  other  students.  The  lecture  lasted  two  hours,  and 
I  seemed  to  sit  on  hot  coals  all  the  time.  At  the  end  I 
had  an  interview  with  the  professor  and  tried  to  convince 
him  that  my  unlucky  mistake  was  an  accident  and  a 
surprise  to  myself;  I  had  heard  the  accursed  parody 
twice  and  repeated  it  once  myself  just  before  his  lecture  ; 
and  this  was  the  result.  I  proved  to  him  that  I  really 
knew  Lomonossoff  by  heart  and  had  named  him  as  my 
favourite  from  personal  conviction.  When  he  learnt 
further  that  I  was  an  admirer  of  Shishkoff,  he  soon  made 
friends  with  me,  being  himself  a  passionate  "  Shishkoffite." 
Thus  I  had  put  myself  right  in  the  eyes  of  the  professor, 
but  I  could  not  escape  from  the  banter  of  my  companions, 
which  went  on  till  they  were  tired  of  it.  They  laughed 
less  at  my  mistake  than  at  the  similarity  of  taste  between 
me  and  the  professor.  For  several  days  running,  a 
number  of  them  greeted  me  with  low  bows  and  con- 
gratulated me  on  having  found  a  kindred  spirit,  by  which 
they  meant  a  worshipper  of  Shishkoff  and  an  opponent 
of  Karamzin's  innovations  ;  each  asked  me,  "  How  is 
your  friend  and  patron,  Gorodchaninoff  ?  when  did  you 
last  see  him  ?  when  will  you  see  him  again  ?  " — and  so 
on.  Their  mockery  annoyed  me,  but  quarrelling  did  no 
good,  and  patience  was  the  only  remedy. 

Meantime  the  play,  which  I  had  settled  on  long  before, 
and  in  which  I  hoped  to  score  a  final  triumph  over  my 
rival  Dmitrieff,  was  getting  into  shape  ;  it  was  Kotzebue's 


LIFE  AT  COLLEGE  157 

Poverty  and  Honour.  We  invited  the  actor,  Gruzinoff, 
to  two  rehearsals  ;  and,  though  he  now  and  then  stopped 
the  others  and  suggested  improvements,  he  passed  no 
criticisms  on  my  acting,  only  saying,  "  Very  good ! 
Excellent !  "  At  last  the  play  was  acted,  and  brilliant 
success  crowned  my  hopes  :  there  was  not  one  admirer 
of  Dmitrieff' s  who  was  not  obliged  to  admit  that  I  had 
played  the  part  of  Heinrich  Blum  infinitely  better.  The 
manager  of  the  Kazan  theatre  gave  me  a  free  ticket  of 
admission  to  the  stalls  for  every  performance.  This  was 
the  last  piece  in  which  I  acted  at  college,  my  last  stage 
triumph  at  Kazan.  I  am  not  ashamed  to  say  that  the 
recollection  of  it  still  awakens  pleasant  echoes  in  my 
breast.  There  is  a  fascination  which  is  difficult  to  explain, 
in  arousing  the  enthusiasm  of  an  audience.  To  move  a 
crowd  of  spectators,  to  dominate  their  minds,  to  compel 
them  to  share  the  feelings  which  you  are  expressing  and 
to  live  your  life  for  the  moment — this  is  a  pleasure  which 
fills  the  actor's  heart  for  long  and  can  never  be  forgotten. 

There  was  another  play,  The  Robbers  by  Schiller,  which 
we  had  long  intended  to  act ;  and  all  the  company  and 
the  other  students  were  ardently  desirous  to  have  it  per- 
formed, but  the  thing  dragged  on,  because  the  enterprise 
was  difficult  and  beyond  our  powers.  I  was  not  very 
eager  about  it  myself;  for  I  attached  much  importance 
to  the  general  effect  of  each  performance,  and  we  had  no 
good  actors  to  take  the  principal  parts,  those  of  Karl 
and  Franz  Moor.  At  last  a  Karl  was  found  in  a  young  man 
who  had  never  appeared  on  a  stage  before  ;  his  name  was 
Vassilieff,  and  he  was  then  a  teacher  in  the  school.  His 
reading  of  the  part  delighted  every  one  except  me.  The 
students  were  very  fond  of  him,  as  he  had  been  a  popular 
boy  at  school ;  and  they  were  attracted  by  his  appearance, 
especially  his  expressive  face,  flashing  black  eyes,  and 
fine  voice.  But  I  thought  him  deficient  in  art,  and  also 
that  he  did  not  possess  that  fire  which  nothing  can  take  the 
place  of — that  visionary  reckless  passion  which  alone  can 
give  meaning  and  character  to  the  part  of  Karl  Moor. 
Our  Franz  Moor  was  positively  bad.  I  took  the  part  of  the 
old  Count,  their  father.  We  rehearsed  the  play  to  the 
best  of  our  ability  and  intended  to  perform  it  in  Christmas 


158  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

week.  My  family  had  now  been  for  some  time  at  Kazan, 
and  I  was  pleased  to  think  that  they  would  see  me  act, 
and  particularly  anxious  to  be  seen  by  that  dear  friend, 
my  pretty  young  sister  ;  but,  just  a  week  before  the  date 
of  the  performance,  an  order  was  received  from  a  very 
high  quarter,  forbidding  us  to  act  The  Robbers. 

My  family  had  come  to  Kazan  in  the  middle  of 
November,  as  soon  as  the  snow  made  travelling  possible. 
My  mother  settled  down  in  the  town,  installed  her  sisters 
in  our  house,  and  made  acquaintance  with  the  best  society 
of  the  place ;  then  she  paid  visits  and  received  them, 
took  her  sisters  out  to  balls  and  parties,  and  gave  small 
parties  and  dinners  at  home.  I  pass  rapidly  over  this,  and 
indeed  I  paid  little  attention  to  it  all ;  but  I  remember 
how  one  of  these  dinners  was  interrupted  by  the  arrival 
from  Moscow  of  our  first  governess,  an  elderly  French 
lady,  called  Mme.  Foissier :  she  flew  straight  into  the 
dining-room  and  began  to  complain  of  the  cabman,  and 
we  were  all  taken  aback,  because  none  of  us  could  speak 
French  and  she  knew  no  Russian. 

The  year  1807  began.  Russia  was  now  definitely  at 
war  with  Napoleon.  A  militia  was  enrolled  for  the  first 
time  in  our  history  ;  young  men  crowded  into  the  Army, 
and  some  of  the  students,  especially  the  pensioners,  asked 
permission  of  Government  to  leave  the  University  for 
active  service  against  the  enemy ;  among  these  were 
my  friend,  Panayeff,  and  his  elder  brother,  Ivan,  our 
lyric  poet.  I  blush  to  confess  that  I  never  thought  at 
that  time  of  "  rushing,  sword  in  hand,  to  join  the  fray  "  ; 
but  the  senior  Government  scholars,  who  were  all  destined 
to  enter  the  teaching  profession  a  year  later,  were  burning 
to  join  the  ranks  of  our  armies  ;  and  the  career  of  learned 
activity,  to  which  they  had  voluntarily  devoted  their 
lives,  suddenly  became  distasteful  to  them.  They  were 
required  to  serve  six  years  in  that  profession,  and  now 
the  obligation  seemed  an  intolerable  burden.  Contrary 
to  all  expectation,  their  eager  desire  was  very  soon  granted, 
and  scholars  were  permitted  to  enter  the  army.  This 
happened  after  I  had  left  college.  Science  lost  in  this 
way  many  remarkable  men,  and  only  a  few  remained 
faithful  to  their  former  calling.  Many  of  them  received 


LIFE  AT  COLLEGE  159 

commissions  in  the  Artillery,  and  almost  all  of  these  met 
with  an  early  death. 

In  January  1807  I  sent  in  a  petition  for  leave  to  retire 
from  the  University  and  enter  the  civil  service.  I  ceased 
to  attend  lectures  after  this,  but  I  went  to  college  daily 
and  spent  all  the  time  of  recreation  in  eager  and  animated 
conversation  with  my  companions.  Sometimes  we  played 
scenes  from  Schiller's  Robbers  :  "  Karl  Moor  "  tied  himself 
to  a  pillar,  to  serve  for  a  tree,  and  declaimed  the  fiery 
rhetoric  of  Schiller's  young  days  ;  then  he  was  released 
from  his  tree  by  "  Schweitzer,"  and  all  the  band  of  robbers 
loudly  swore  to  die  with  their  chief. 

In  March  I  received  my  leaving  certificate,  which,  to 
tell  the  truth,  I  did  not  deserve.  Of  scientific  knowledge 
I  carried  away  little  from  the  University,  not  because  it 
was  new  and  small  and  insufficiently  organised,  but 
because  I  was  too  young  and  childish  and  was  drawn 
aside  by  my  impetuous  nature  into  one  hobby  after 
another.  Throughout  my  life  I  have  suffered  from  a 
lack  of  scientific  information  and  solid  learning,  and  this 
deficiency  has  been  a  great  hindrance  to  me  both  in  my 
profession  and  in  my  pursuit  of  literature. 

The  day  for  my  departure  was  fixed  ;  and  on  the 
previous  day  I  went  to  say  a  last  farewell  to  the  University 
and  my  companions.  Walking  in  a  long  chain,  arm  in 
arm,  we  visited  all  the  dormitories,  lecture-halls,  and 
public  rooms.  Then  followed  a  long  and  close  embrace 
with  each.  To  take  a  final  farewell,  a  crowd  of  students 
and  even  of  schoolboys  poured  forth  and  escorted  me  to  the 
outside  staircase  ;  I  went  slowly  down  the  steps  with  a 
heavy  heart ;  I  turned  round  for  one  more  glimpse  of  my 
friends  and  of  the  building,  and  then  I  made  off  almost 
at  a  run,  while  the  sound  of  familiar  voices  rose  behind 
me — "  Goodbye,  Aksakoff,  goodbye  !  " 

And  I  too  say  goodbye  to  that  season  of  youthful  noise 
and  youthful  study,  to  those  early  irrevocable  years  when 
the  blood  may  be  hot  and  the  judgment  unripe,  but  we 
can  hear  the  voice  of  honour  and  follow  unselfish  aims. 
That  brightness  has  not  yet  been  clouded  over  by  the 
claims  of  society  or  the  petty  cares  of  domestic  life.  The 
walls  of  the  school  and  University  and  my  companions — 


160  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

these  made  up  a  whole  world  to  me.  There,  the  problems 
that  puzzle  young  minds  were  solved ;  there,  ideals  were 
realised  and  emotions  satisfied.  Judgment  was  passed 
there,  and  condemnation  or  triumphant  acquittal  pro- 
nounced. The  rule  of  the  place  was  complete  contempt 
for  all  baseness  and  meanness,  for  all  worldly  wisdom  and 
selfish  aims,  and  hearty  respect  for  every  high  and 
honourable  ideal,  however  visionary.  The  memory  of 
years  so  spent  accompanies  a  man  through  life ;  unfelt 
by  him,  it  lights  and  directs  his  path  to  the  very  end ; 
and,  even  if  circumstances  drag  him  into  slippery  paths 
and  miry  ways,  that  memory  restores  him  to  the  high- 
road of  truth  and  honour.  I  at  least,  for  all  of  good 
that  survives  within  me,  count  myself  indebted  to  the 
public  education  of  my  school  and  University,  and  to  the 
stimulus  which  I  carried  away  with  me  when  I  left  them. 
I  am  convinced  that  a  man  who  was  never  at  a  public 
school  or  University  is  a  defective  man,  that  his  life  is 
incomplete,  and  that  he  lacks  a  kind  of  experience  which 
must  be  felt  in  youth  or  never. 

Just  before  the  snow  melted  in  spring,  we  travelled  to 
Aksakovo ;  and  there  I  found  spring  and  outdoor  sports. 
Nature  was  awaking  from  her  winter  sleep,  and  the 
migratory  birds  were  returning.  It  was  the  first  time  I 
had  really  seen  and  really  felt  that  season  ;  and  the  effect 
was  to  banish  from  my  head  for  a  time  all  thoughts  either 
of  the  war  with  Napoleon  or  of  the  University  and  the 
companions  I  had  left  there. 


APPENDIX 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING 
AN  EPISODE  OF  COLLEGE  LIFE 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING 

To  collect  butterflies  was  one  of  the  hobbies  of  my  youth. 
It  did  not  last  long,  but  for  a  time  I  had  a  perfect  passion 
for  it,  and  it  has  left  on  my  memory  a  deep  impression 
which  remains  fresh  to  this  day. 

From  childhood  I  was  fond  of  Natural  History.  A  little 
book  in  Russian — I  forget  the  title — with  poor  illustrations 
of  beasts,  birds,  and  fishes,  fell  in  my  way  while  I  was  still 
a  schoolboy  ;  and  I  worshipped  it  and  learnt  it  by  heart 
from  beginning  to  end.  Then,  because  I  realised  that  the 
book  did  not  contain  just  what  my  own  peering  childish 
eyes  had  noted,  I  tried  myself  to  write  descriptions  of  the 
wild  creatures  with  which  I  was  most  familiar.  These 
were  the  first  feeble  attempts  of  a  child,  who  thinks  that 
every  fact  which  he  has  found  out  for  himself  is  a  com- 
plete novelty,  a  precious  and  important  discovery  which 
must  be  written  down  and  communicated  to  others.  I 
cannot  now  look  unmoved  at  these  two  note-books,  each 
containing  four  pages  of  thick  blue  paper  such  as  you 
could  not  get  nowadays.  They  contain  descriptions, 
written  in  a  hand  as  childish  as  the  style,  of  the  following 
creatures  :  the  hare,  the  squirrel,  the  snipe  (three  kinds 
being  distinguished),  the  roach,  the  minnow,  the  gudgeon 
— these  were  clearly  the  earliest  acquaintances  of  the 
young  observer.  But  my  attention  was  soon  called  off 
by  a  host  of  those  new  interests  and  exciting  objects  in 
which  youth  is  so  rich  ;  and  I  gave  up  describing  my 
beasts  and  birds.  Yet  I  still  retained  my  strong  love  of 
Nature  and  of  living  creatures,  and,  fifty  years  later, 
rich  in  the  experience  which  I  had  gained  in  my  enthu- 
siastic pursuit  of  shooting  and  fishing,  I  looked  back  with 
interest  to  my  childish  days,  and  supplemented  the 
attempts  of  my  boyhood  by  books  written  when  I  was 

163 


164  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

sixty  years  old — "  Notes  on  Fishing,"  and  "  Notes  of  a 
Sportsman  with  the  Gun  in  the  Government  of  Orenburg."  x 

While  still  a  child  I  learnt  from  Reading  for  Children 
about  caterpillars  and  their  changes  into  chrysalises  or 
cocoons  and  finally  into  butterflies.  This  certainly 
made  butterflies  more  interesting  to  me,  but  I  loved  them 
even  before.  And  indeed,  of  all  the  insects  that  people 
God's  earth,  of  all  the  little  creatures  that  creep  or  hop  or 
fly,  the  butterfly  is  the  most  beautiful  and  the  most 
charming.  It  is,  in  real  truth,  "  a  flying  flower,"  either 
painted  with  the  brightest  hues  and  glittering  with  gold 
or  silver  or  mother-of-pearl,  or  speckled  with  elusive 
colours  and  patterns  which  are  just  as  lovely  and  attractive. 
And  they  are  as  harmless  as  they  are  beautiful,  feeding  on 
the  honey  of  flowers,  which  they  suck  with  a  tongue, 
either  short  and  thick,  or  long  and  slender  like  a  hair  and 
coiled  up  when  not  in  use.  How  delightful  is  the  first 
appearance  of  the  butterflies  in  spring,  first  the  white 
and  then  the  yellow  !  What  life  they  lend  to  the  land- 
scape on  its  first  awaking  after  the  long  cruel  winter  ! 
There  is  hardly  a  green  blade  or  leaf  then  to  be  seen  ;  the 
sight  of  the  bare  trees  and  withered  autumn  vegetation 
would  be  depressing,  but  for  the  pleasant  warmth  and  the 
thought  that  all  the  earth  will  soon  break  into  leaf  and 
flower,  that  the  living  sap  is  already  rising  from  the 
roots  through  the  trunks  and  branches  of  the  trees,  and 
that  the  young  shoots  of  grass  and  plants  are  spearing  up 
out  of  the  moist  warm  soil ;  and  these  thoughts  bring 
peace  and  happiness  to  man's  heart. 

The  charter  of  the  University  of  Kazan  was  confirmed 
in  the  year  1805  ;  and,  a  few  months  later,  in  the  beginning 
of  1806,  the  college  was  opened  with  a  small  staff  of 
professors.  One  of  these  was  Karl  Fyodorovitch  Fuchs, 
professor  of  Natural  History,  who  delivered  his  lectures  in 
French.  By  that  time  I  could  read  French  easily  and 
understood  French  books  even  on  abstract  subjects ;  but 
the  conversational  language  and  the  oral  discourse  of  the 
professor  puzzled  me  a  good  deal  at  first.  Before  long, 
however,  I  got  accustomed  to  it,  and  listened  with  eager 

1  Published  in  1852 :  a  long  and  interesting  review  will  be  found  in 
Turgenyeff,  vol.  x.  pp.  401-416  (ed.  of  1897). 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  165 

attention  to  the  lectures.  They  were  the  easier  to  follow, 
because  Fuchs  used  Blumenbach's  text-book,  of  which 
we  possessed  printed  copies  in  a  Russian  translation. 
This  book,  in  three  parts,  bears  the  following  title : 
"  Introduction  to  Natural  History,  by  Dr.  Joh.  Friedr. 
Blumenbach,  Professor  in  the  University  of  Gottingen 
and  Privy  Councillor  of  Great  Britain.  Translated  from 
the  German  into  Russian  by  Peter  Naumoff  and  Andrew 
Teryayeff,  teachers  of  Natural  and  Civil  History  and 
Geography ;  printed  by  Vilkovsky  at  the  Government 
Press,  St.  Petersburg,  1797." 

One  of  those  who  attended  Fuchs'  lectures  was  Vassili 
Timyansky.  During  his  school-time  he  had  worked  harder 
than  any  of  us  at  languages,  Latin  as  well  as  French  and 
German,  and  was  therefore  a  great  favourite  with  Erich, 
who  had  taught  us  these  languages  in  the  upper  forms  of 
the  school.  Erich  had  now  been  made  assistant-professor 
in  the  University  and  lectured  on  Latin  and  Greek 
literature.  We  all  believed  him  to  have  a  profound 
knowledge  of  ancient  and  modern  tongues ;  but  his 
appearance  and  manners  were  extremely  odd  and  comical, 
and  he  spoke  Russian  in  such  a  way  that  it  was  impossible 
to  hear  him  without  laughing.  He  tried  it,  however,  only 
in  despair,  and  after  recourse  to  every  other  language  he 
knew,  in  the  endeavour  to  explain  his  meaning  to  some 
pupil  who  could  not  understand  him.  He  named  us  all 
after  a  fashion  of  his  own.  Thus  he  addressed  Bezobrazoff, 
one  of  the  students,  as  "  Herr  Abrazantsoff,"  and  me  as 
"  Herr  Achakoff  "  or  "  Aksayeff,"  and  never  by  my  real 
name,  though  he  knew  me  very  well  and  often  paid  visits 
to  Kartashevsky  in  whose  house  I  lived.  Timyansky 
could  mimic  Erich  to  perfection.  I  too  could  represent 
my  tutor  with  some  skill,  and  the  pair  of  us  sometimes 
entertained  the  other  students  by  acting  a  meeting  of 
our  teachers  in  the  street  and  their  greetings  to  one 
another. 

But  I  must  apologise  to  the  reader :  recollections  of 
youth  have  led  me  astray  from  my  subject,  to  which  I 
shall  now  return.  Timyansky,  though  he  probably  did 
not  know  much  Latin  then,  was  considered  our  best 
Latinist  and  soon  attracted  the  attention  of  Fuchs,  who 


166  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

was  pleased  with  him  for  his  knowledge  of  the  language,1 
and  invited  him  to  his  house,  a  fine  house  which  the 
Professor  rented  in  the  outskirts  of  Kazan.  I  was  present 
one  day  when  Timyansky  mentioned  that  he  had  seen  a 
large  collection  of  insects,  including  butterflies,  in  the 
Professor's  house,  and  that  the  Professor  had  promised 
to  teach  him  how  to  catch  butterflies,  set  them,  and 
preserve  them.  This  was  in  January  or  February  of 
1806.  I  had  just  seen,  for  the  first  time  in  my  life,  men 
fighting  with  their  fists,  and  came  back  eager  to  describe 
to  my  companions  what  I  had  been  seeing.  In  my 
excitement  I  paid  no  attention  to  what  Timyansky  had 
said. 

In  those  days  in  winter  at  Kazan,  the  ice  on  the  great 
lake  Kaban  was  the  scene  of  famous  encounters  with 
fists  between  Tatars  and  Russians.  They  lived  on 
opposite  sides  of  the  lake,  and  the  Russians  were  weavers 
and  serfs  of  a  landowner  named  Osokin.2  These  contests 
were  sometimes  waged  with  fury,  and  the  feeling  of 
nationality  certainly  contributed  something  to  the  zeal 
of  the  combatants.  But  the  fight  I  saw  was  conducted 
within  proper  limits  and  according  to  certain  rules  which 
were  always  kept  unless  when  the  Tatars  happened  to  get 
the  upper  hand.  The  combatants  were  drawn  up  in  two 
long  lines  with  a  respectful  distance  between  them,  and 
remained  there  for  a  long  time  inactive,  while  the  small 
boys  on  both  sides  ran  out  into  the  middle  space  and 
fought,  amid  the  jeers  or  applause  of  their  elders.  At  last 
a  famous  Tatar  champion  called  Abdulka  strode  out  in 
front,  and  was  immediately  faced  by  Nikita,  a  doughty 
Russian  boxer ;  the  Tatar  went  flying  to  the  ground, 
and  his  place  was  taken  by  another.  Meantime  single 
combats  took  place  at  different  points  along  the  line, 
and  neither  side  could  claim  the  advantage.  Both 
Tatars  and  Russians  measured  their  length  on  the  ice, 
and  got  up  again,  with  hands  pressed  to  their  sides  or 
faces  ;  and  some  had  to  be  carried  off.  But  suddenly  with 

1  Fuchs  was  evidently  a  German,  who  understood  Latin  and  French 
better  than  Russian. 

2  The  Tatar  quarter  and  the  weavers'  quarter  still  exist  at  Kazan  ;  but 
the  serfs  are  of  course  free  labourers.     (Author  a  Note.) 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  167 

a  wild  yell,  the  whole  Tatar  line  advanced  and  closed  with 
the  enemy,  and  a  tremendous  hand-to-hand  encounter 
took  place.  The  Tatars  did  not  hold  out  long  :  they 
were  forced  back  and  fled  to  the  banks  of  the  lake, 
pursued  by  the  Russians.  The  conquerors  then  came 
back  in  triumph.  I  was  told  that,  when  the  Tatars  pre- 
vailed, they  pursued  the  Russians  into  their  very  houses, 
and  that  the  contest  was  renewed  there  with  fresh  fury, 
the  old  men  and  women  and  children  joining  in  with 
any  weapon  they  could  lay  hands  on ;  and  these  engage- 
ments always  ended  in  the  rout  of  the  Tatars. 

In  the  spring  of  1806  I  learnt  that  Timyansky  and 
another  student  called  Kaisaroff  were  beginning  to  collect 
insects,  and  that  they  secretly  possessed  implements  for 
catching  butterflies  and  boards  for  setting  them.  I 
remembered  for  the  first  time  what  I  had  heard  before  on 
the  subject,  and  I  conceived  a  sudden  and  strong  desire 
to  collect  butterflies  myself.  I  told  my  bosom  friend, 
Alexander  Panayeff,  also  a  student,  and  aroused  a  similar 
desire  in  him.  Then  I  turned  first  to  Timyansky  and 
asked  him  to  instruct  me  how  to  proceed,  but  he  refused 
and  said  he  would  not  reveal  the  secret  till  he  had  made 
a  considerable  collection ;  he  only  showed  me  a  few 
specimens  of  butterflies  and  other  insects  preserved. 
This  added  fuel  to  my  fire,  and  I  decided  to  call  at  once 
on  Professor  Fuchs,  who  was  a  doctor  of  medicine  and 
starting  a  practice  in  the  town. 

I  explained  my  visit  by  the  pretext  of  some  imaginary 
symptoms.  On  the  walls  of  his  study  there  were  boxes 
with  glass  lids,  and  inside  I  could  see,  stuck  on  pins  and 
in  splendid  condition,  the  loveliest  butterflies  I  had  ever 
beheld.  I  was  perfectly  enraptured,  and  made  haste  to 
explain  to  the  Professor  as  best  I  could  my  passion  for 
Natural  History  and  my  eager  desire  to  collect  butterflies  ; 
and  I  begged  him  at  the  same  time  to  teach  me  how  to 
set  about  it.  The  Professor  was  much  pleased  and 
willingly  described  all  the  details  of  the  art,  which,  though 
not  difficult  to  master,  needs  care  and  patience  and 
neat-handedness.  He  showed  me  there  and  then  all  the 
requisite  implements  both  for  catching  and  setting  the 
insects.  I  knew  that  Panayeff  would  do  all  this  much 


168  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

more  skilfully  than  I  could  ;  for  he  was  a  capital  hand  at 
all  mechanical  work  with  his  fingers.  I  therefore  asked 
leave  of  the  Professor  to  bring  Panayeff  with  me  next 
day ;  and  he  promised  that,  if  we  brought  some  live 
butterflies  with  us,  he  would  set  them  at  once  in  our 
presence.  And  further,  as  I  wished  not  only  to  catch 
butterflies  but  to  rear  them  from  the  caterpillar  stage, 
he  gave  me  hints  on  the  way  of  distinguishing  them  from 
the  grubs  of  other  insects  ;  he  told  me  how  to  keep  them 
and  feed  them  and  in  general  how  to  manage  them. 
Panayeff  and  I,  in  our  turn,  resolved  to  keep  our  under- 
taking a  secret,  not  only  from  Timyansky  but  from  all 
the  students. 

Next  day  we  caught  a  few  miscellaneous  butterflies 
in  the  garden  and  then  went  off  to  Fuchs'  house.  He 
began  by  setting  two  of  them  while  we  looked  on  and 
then  gave  the  third  to  Panayeff  to  set,  thinking  it  best 
to  watch  the  first  experiment  himself.  The  operation 
was  performed  as  follows.  The  Professor  took  the  butter- 
fly cautiously  by  the  under  side  between  his  thumb  and 
forefinger,  and  squeezed  it  rather  hard  ;  this  was  necessary 
to  make  the  insect  unconscious ;  otherwise,  it  might 
flutter  and  rub  the  painted  dust  off  its  wings.  A  special 
steel  forceps  was  often  used  for  this  purpose ;  but  the 
Professor  said  and  proved  to  us  that  we  could  get  on  very 
well  without  it.  Next  he  took  a  pin  corresponding  in 
size  to  the  size  of  the  butterfly  and  ran  it  through  the 
insect's  back,  letting  the  point  project  sufficiently  for 
sticking  it  into  a  wooden  frame.  He  passed  the  point 
of  the  pin  through  a  card  and  heated  it  for  a  moment  over 
a  candle — a  necessary  precaution,  in  order  to  dry  the 
insect's  body  and  prevent  it  from  turning  on  the  pin. 
Then  he  took  a  smooth  board  of  lime-wood — this  is  the 
softest  kind  of  wood — with  holes  cut  all  along  it,  larger 
and  smaller  to  suit  the  different  size  of  the  butterflies' 
bodies.1  The  Professor  inserted  the  body  of  this  butterfly 
in  one  of  these  holes,  and  drove  in  the  pin  to  such  a 
distance  that  the  wings  rested  exactly  on  the  surface  of 
the  board.  Finally  he  took  narrow  strips  of  writing- 

1  Nowadays  the  setting-board  has  a  continuous  groove  with  a  cork 
bottom.     (Author's  Note.) 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  169 

paper  shaped  for  the  purpose,  placed  one  of  them  over  the 
upper  and  under  wings,  and  secured  the  strip  with  a  pin  ; 
and  then  with  a  special  implement  like  a  bodkin  or  an 
awl — a  large  long  pin  can  always  be  used  as  a  substitute — 
he  straightened  each  wing  separately,  so  that  they  lay 
flat  and  even,  and  the  upper  wing  touched  the  under 
without  hiding  it.  He  ended  the  operation  by  pushing  a 
pin  into  the  lower  end  of  the  paper  and  into  the  wood,  to 
keep  all  fast.  The  only  part  of  the  business  which  required 
practice  and  dexterity  was  the  arrangement  of  the  wings  : 
it  was  essential  not  to  tear  or  crumple  them  or  rub  the 
dust  off  them.  In  a  few  days  the  butterfly  would  be 
dry ;  and  then  the  strips  of  paper  would  be  carefully 
removed,  and  the  insect  transferred  to  the  box  or 
cabinet  where  it  was  to  remain.  Panayeff  set  the  third 
butterfly ;  and,  though  he  was  a  beginner,  he  did  it  so 
well  that  the  Professor,  after  repeating  many  times 
"  Bien,  tres  bien,  parfaitement  bien  !  " — at  last  solemnly 
pronounced  the  word  "  Optime  !  " 

And  now  Panayeff  and  I  went  to  work  with  the  eager 
enthusiasm  of  youth.  Seasoned  boards  of  different 
sizes,  made  of  lime-wood,  were  planed  smooth  under  his 
personal  inspection,  and  he  carved  the  holes  very  neatly 
and  cleverly  himself.  We  procured  stout  pins  for  setting 
the  butterflies  and  securing  their  wings,  and  tough  writing- 
paper  which  did  not  tear  as  the  Professor's  had  done. 
We  made  nets  of  two  kinds,  some  with  long  bags  of  gauze 
or  muslin,  and  others  flat  like  the  battledores  used  with 
shuttlecocks.  With  the  first  kind  it  was  necessary  to 
strike  the  butterfly  in  the  air  and  entangle  it  in  the  pouch, 
with  the  second  to  strike  it  to  the  ground  or  cover  it  as 
it  perched  on  some  plant  or  flower.  The  first  method  is 
clearly  the  best,  because  the  dust  on  the  wings  is  less 
likely  to  be  rubbed  off ;  but  it  required  more  activity 
and  skill  to  work  with  the  bag-net.  Thanks  to  my  eager 
and  unremitting  exertions,  and  also  to  the  efforts  and 
intelligence  of  my  partner,  everything  was  ready  in  two 
days ;  and  the  contrivances  which  we  planned  and 
executed  were  much  superior  to  what  we  had  seen  at 
the  Professor's  house. 

The  setting  of  the  butterflies  was  undertaken  exclusively 


170  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

by  Panayeff ;  when  he  had  set  a  few  more  specimens,  he 
was  quite  perfect  in  the  art.  We  determined  to  hunt 
together,  as  a  rule,  for  butterflies  outside  the  town ;  and 
I  undertook  as  my  special  charge  to  rear  caterpillars  till 
they  chrysalised,  to  collect  chrysalises  already  formed,  and 
to  mind  them  all  till  they  hatched  into  the  perfect  insects. 
I  had  a  peculiar  pleasure  in  observing  the  habits  of  living 
creatures  in  general,  and  also  I  was  encouraged  by 
Professor  Fuchs,  who  said  that  artificially  reared  butter- 
flies would  afford  the  best  specimens,  because  they  keep 
the  original  freshness  and  brightness  of  their  colours  in 
perfection.  He  said  that  when  the  insects  begin  to  fly 
about  the  fields,  exposed  to  the  wind  and  rain,  they  soon 
deteriorate  by  rubbing  or  shaking  off  the  coloured  dust 
which  covers  their  wings  in  the  shape  of  minute  scales,  as 
soon  as  they  creep  out  of  the  envelope  of  the  chrysalis  or 
cocoon  and  expand  their  compressed  limbs  and  crumpled 
wings. 

As  I  have  told  in  more  detail  in  another  place,  after 
spending  two  months  in  the  house  of  Professor  Levitsky, 
I  found  it  impossible  to  stay  there  any  longer,  and  was 
now  living,  for  the  first  time  in  my  life,  all  by  myself  in 
my  own  lodgings.  I  rented  rooms  from  a  Russianised 
German  named  Hermann,  whose  son  Alexander  had  been 
at  school  with  me  and  was  now  employed  in  the  post-office 
at  Kazan ;  he  shared  my  rooms  and  was  often  my  com- 
panion and  sometimes  my  guide,  when  we  went  to  places 
of  public  resort  and  entertainment,  for  which  he  had  a 
great  liking.  At  the  time  I  am  speaking  of  it  was  spring, 
and  an  annual  fair  of  a  peculiar  kind  was  going  on  at 
Kazan.  As  soon  as  the  Volga  rises  above  its  banks  and 
inundates  its  flat  side — its  waters  sometimes  spread  more 
than  ten  versts  in  that  direction — it  unites  with  Lake 
Kaban  which  is  about  three  versts  from  the  channel, 
swells  its  stagnant  waters  and  drives  them  into  a  canal 
called  the  Bulak,  which  runs  through  all  the  lower  part  of 
Kazan  and  joins  the  river  Kazanka ;  in  summer  the 
Bulak  is  shallow,  muddy,  and  ill-smelling.  But  in  spring 
swarms  of  large  boats,  laden  with  small  wares  of  different 
kinds,  take  advantage  of  the  flood  to  leave  the  Volga 
and  cross  Lake  Kaban ;  they  gather  in  the  canal  and 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  171 

literally  cover  it.  This  is  the  only  fair  there  is  at  Kazan, 
and  the  inhabitants  look  forward  to  it  with  impatience  : 
the  news  that  "  the  boats  have  come,"  throws  all  the 
town  into  excitement  at  once.  The  fun  of  the  fair  is  at 
its  height  along  the  canal ;  its  muddy  dirty  banks  are 
thronged  by  the  people  and  curious  sight-seers,  just  as  a 
part  of  Moscow  is  in  Easter  Week.  Oranges  and  lemons 
and  many  other  things  are  offered  for  sale,  and  especially 
vast  quantities  of  glass  and  earthenware,  and  what  is 
called  "  grassware,"  which  is  covered  over  inside  and 
out,  or  inside  only,  with  green  enamel.  A  great  number 
of  children's  toys  made  of  glass  or  clay,  such  as  ducks  and 
geese,  whistles  and  squirts,  are  sold  at  the  fair ;  and 
crowds  of  boys  and  girls  may  then  be  seen  in  all  the 
streets  and  especially  round  the  canal,  all  armed  with 
new  toys  bought  on  the  boats.  With  joy  on  their  faces 
and  wild  with  excitement,  they  rush  up  and  down,  blowing 
their  whistles  with  all  their  might  and  discharging  the 
contents  of  their  squirts  at  each  other  or  the  passers-by  ; 
and  this  goes  on  for  nearly  a  month.  It  is  a  purely 
popular  festival  which  the  aristocracy  of  Kazan  visit 
from  curiosity ;  and  the  variety  of  costumes  worn  by 
Russians  and  Tartars,  townspeople  and  countrymen, 
makes  it  very  picturesque. 

Hermann  and  I  often  went  to  the  canal ;  and  he  was 
much  vexed  when  I  explained  one  day  that  I  did  not 
intend  to  waste  any  more  time  there.  My  mind  was  full 
of  something  else,  I  said ;  all  my  free  time  was  to  be 
devoted  to  collecting  butterflies,  rearing  caterpillars,  and 
hunting  for  chrysalises ;  and  I  should  be  very  glad  if  he 
would  help  me.  He  disapproved  of  my  intention,  and 
would  much  have  preferred  to  accompany  me  to  the  fair. 
But  I  was  stubborn,  and  he  was  obliged,  with  his  will 
or  against  his  will,  to  assist  me  in  my  new  occupations. 
I  had  a  good  many  rooms  at  my  disposal,  and  one  of  them, 
which  was  quite  apart  from  the  rest,  I  gave  up  exclusively 
to  caterpillars.  There  were  special  tables  in  the  room, 
covered  with  glass  boxes  with  cardboard  lids,  cardboard 
boxes,  and  large  glass  jars  ;  and  in  these  the  caterpillars 
were  to  live,  sufficiently  provided  with  their  proper  food- 
plants.  The  lids  of  all  these  receptacles  were  perforated 


172  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

with  a  large  pin,  for  ventilation.  In  all  these  tiresome 
and  minute  preparations  Hermann  gave  me  his  assistance. 
Later,  when  my  collection  of  caterpillars  became  rather 
large,  the  smell  in  this  room  became  so  strong,  that  it  was 
impossible  to  stay  there  long  without  an  open  window. 
I  liked  to  spend  much  of  my  time  in  watching  my 
nurselings ;  but  Hermann  ceased  to  go  there  at  all  and 
even  declared,  with  perfect  truth,  that  the  whole  house 
reeked  of  my  caterpillars.  I  had  also  boxes  for  chrysalises, 
keeping  butterflies  and  moths  apart. 

My  lodgings  had  this  further  advantage,  that  the  house 
stood  apart  and  between  two  grassy  valleys  which  went 
down  to  the  river  Kazanka.  I  examined  them  at  once 
with  great  care,  and  was  pleased  to  find  various  butterflies 
flying  about.  Panayeff  lived  with  his  four  brothers  in  a 
house  of  their  own  by  the  Black  Lake,  with  easy  access  to 
a  rather  large  garden  which  had  been  partly  converted 
into  a  market-garden ;  it  was  in  a  state  of  utter  neglect, 
but  that  did  not  prevent  butterflies  from  visiting  it. 
Thanks  to  these  advantages  and  opportunities,  Panayeff 
and  I,  during  the  first  two  days  and  without  leaving  the 
town,  were  successful  in  catching  about  a  dozen  butterflies, 
which,  though  they  were  common  enough,  were  worthy  to 
take  a  place  in  our  collection. 

I  said  that  we  intended  to  keep  our  occupation  a  secret 
from  all  our  companions.  But  alas  !  few  secrets  are 
strictly  kept,  and  the  other  students  knew  of  our  enter- 
prise the  very  next  day.  I  suspect  that  Pandyeffs 
younger  brothers,  Vladimir  and  Peter,  who  were  then 
pensioners  at  the  school,  let  the  cat  out  of  the  bag.  We 
decided  to  drop  concealment,  and  our  example  was 
followed  by  Timyansky  and  Kaisaroff;  but  open  rivalry 
went  on  just  the  same.  Timyansky' s  collection  had  this 
advantage,  that  it  got  the  start  of  ours  and  contained 
thirty  specimens  before  we  had  a  single  one ;  but  we  had 
more  leisure  and  more  money  and  soon  caught  up  our 
rivals.  The  students  were  soon  divided  into  two  camps — 
one  backing  the  collection  of  the  pensioners  1  (Panayeff 
and  myself),  and  the  other  the  collection  of  the  scholars. 

1  Pensioners  are  students  paying  their  own  expenses ;  scholars  were 
maintained  by  the  Government. 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  178 

As  if  to  spite  us,  we  were  prevented  for  several  days 
from  going  out  of  town  into  the  woods  and  gardens  beyond 
the  Arsky  Park.  My  impatience  increased  every  hour. 
I  had  never  yet  properly  experienced  the  satisfaction  of 
catching  butterflies,  especially  rare  or  remarkable  speci- 
mens ;  my  whole  soul  was  given  up  to  this  new  excitement ; 
and  I  thought  of  nothing  else  at  this  time  but  hunting 
for  caterpillars  and  chrysalises  and  catching  butterflies. 
Panayeff  shared  the  new  pleasure  with  me,  but  always 
kept  within  the  limits  prescribed  by  good  sense  and 
moderation.  At  last  the  day  came.  Panayeff  had  spent 
the  night  with  me,  because  I  lived  much  nearer  the  Arsky 
Park,  and  at  dawn  we  sallied  forth.  Each  of  us  held  one 
net  firmly  mounted  on  a  wooden  stick,  and  carried  another 
in  reserve,  strapped  over  our  shoulders ;  and  each  had  a 
cardboard  box,  in  which  to  deposit  the  captured  butter- 
flies. I  doubt  if  I  ever  felt  such  intense  excitement  in 
later  years,  when  I  had  become  a  passionate  lover  of  the 
gun,  not  even  when  bad  weather  had  kept  me  indoors  for 
several  days  and  I  took  the  field  at  last  with  my  gun  and 
dog,  to  shoot  over  a  bog  abounding  with  snipe  !  It  was 
a  lovely  bright  spring  day,  and  the  sun  rose  to  greet  us 
from  behind  a  wood  and  soon  filled  all  the  landscape  with 
floods  of  burning  light.  We  ran  over  the  Arsky  Park  as 
quickly  as  if  the  ground  scorched  our  feet,  and  soon  the 
Bolkhovsky  garden  lay  before  us — an  old  neglected 
place  with  dark  avenues  of  ancient  trees,  rickety  fences, 
and  fields  full  of  flowers.  The  chorus  of  birds'  voices, 
drowned  by  the  song  of  the  nightingales,  was  the  first 
thing  that  struck  me,  but  I  soon  forgot  it.  We  stopped 
to  draw  breath  and  to  settle  our  plan  of  attack. 

A  wide  grassy  opening  lay  before  us,  and  we  decided  to 
walk  along  it,  keeping  about  a  hundred  yards  apart.  I 
started,  and  my  feet  were  soaked  by  the  heavy  dew  in 
one  moment.  When  I  had  gone  a  few  yards,  I  saw 
Panayeff  running  and  brandishing  his  net.  I  forgot  the 
arrangement  that  we  were  not  to  keep  together  or  pursue 
the  same  prey  :  I  rushed  towards  my  companion  and 
saw  that  he  was  in  the  act  of  catching  a  splendid  butterfly 
which  was  new  to  me.  He  cried  out  to  me  to  keep  off 
and  not  hinder  him ;  but  I  flew  to  his  assistance.  His 


174  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

warning  came  too  late.  The  butterfly,  alarmed  by  our 
pursuit  and  especially  by  my  rapid  approach,  rose  straight 
up,  fluttered  over  a  line  of  trees,  and  disappeared. 
Panayeff  was  very  angry  ;  he  scolded  me  severely  and 
said  positively  that,  if  I  did  it  again,  he  would  never  go 
out  with  me  in  future.  He  declared  that  the  butterfly 
was  an  unusually  fine  one,  possibly  a  Purple  Emperor  or  a 
Peacock.1  Feeling  very  penitent  and  self-reproachful, 
I  promised  and  even  took  an  oath  that  it  should  never 
happen  again.  I  kept  this  promise  scrupulously.  We 
parted,  each  to  follow  his  own  line  at  the  appointed  dis- 
tance ;  and  soon  I  saw  my  companion  running  again. 
He  caught  something,  stopped,  and  began  to  take  it  out 
of  the  net ;  it  cost  me  a  great  effort  to  stand  still,  because 
I  was  panting  to  know  what  he  had  caught  and  to  see  it 
for  myself.  But  suddenly  there  flashed  before  my  eyes 
a  large  butterfly,  throwing  its  dancing  shadow  over  the 
grass  and  flowers  ;  it  was  dark  in  colour,  but  its  burnished 
wings  flashed  in  the  sunlight.  I  flew  in  pursuit  and  very 
quickly  succeeded  in  catching  it;  my  hands  shook  so  in 
my  excitement  that  for  some  time  I  could  not  squeeze  my 
captive's  thorax,  so  as  to  paralyse  it ;  this  regrettable 
precaution  was  necessary,  to  prevent  it  from  fluttering 
in  the  box  and  spoiling  its  velvet  wings.  I  recognised  this 
butterfly  at  once :  Timyansky  had  it  already  in  his 
collection,  it  had  been  identified  from  Blumenbach's 
book,  and  the  Professor  had  confirmed  Blumenbach.  It 
was  a  Camberwell  Beauty.  But  what  a  wretched  de- 
scription Blumenbach  gives — "  a  striped  butterfly,  whose 
wings  are  pointed  and  black  with  a  whitish  edging  " — 
and  that  is  all.  Such  a  description  conveys  no  idea  of 
the  insect ;  and  besides  it  is  not  striped  at  all.  The 
Camberwell  Beauty,  in  spite  of  its  sober  colouring,  ranks 
for  size  alone  among  the  finest  European  butterflies. 
Its  burnished  wings,  of  a  dark  coffee-colour,  look  like 
velvet  owing  to  their  thick  covering  of  painted  dust, 
and  are  covered  near  the  body  with  a  rust-coloured  down 
of  very  fine  hairlets  ;  all  four  wings  are  bordered  with  a 
whitish-yellow  straw-coloured  edging,  rather  broad  and 

1  Here  and  elsewhere  the  English  names  have  been  substituted  for  the 
Latin  or  Russian  names  given  by  Aksakoff. 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  175 

curving  in  festoons ;  there  are  two  small  spots  of  the 
same  colour  near  the  upper  edge  of  each  fore- wing ;  and 
on  both  wings  there  is  a  row  of  bright  blue  spots  inside 
the  straw-coloured  border ;  the  eyes  and  club-shaped 
antennae  are  large,  compared  with  those  of  other  butter- 
flies ;  the  whole  body  is  covered  with  dark-coloured 
down ;  the  underside  of  the  wings  is  inconspicuous — the 
background  is  dark  and  chequered  with  fine  white  veins.1 

I  was  delighted  that  we  had  got  such  a  prize.  I  caught 
a  few  more  butterflies,  whose  names  I  did  not  know  and 
which  I  had  never  seen  close,  and  then  I  joined  Panayeff. 
He  also  had  caught  a  Camberwell  Beauty  and  some  of  the 
small  butterflies,  bright  blue  and  copper-red,  which  I 
had  in  my  box.  I  had  also  found  several  caterpillars, 
one  of  which,  a  very  hairy  creature  and  commonly  known 
as  a  "Priest's  Dog,"  2  promised  to  develop  into  a  beautiful 
moth  ;  I  recognised  it  by  the  token  that  these  caterpillars 
have  generally  eight  pairs  of  legs.  Much  pleased  by  our 
successful  beginning,  we  sat  down  to  rest  in  the  impene- 
trable shade  of  some  old  lime-trees,  and  even  made  a  meal 
on  some  bread  and  cheese  which  we  had  been  prudent 
enough  to  bring  with  us.  After  our  lunch  we  fixed  a 
rendezvous,  and  started  off  in  different  directions.  We 
knew  this  garden  well :  the  students  used  often  to  amuse 
themselves  there  and  also  in  the  Neyolovsky  garden 
which  lay  close  beside  it. 

It  is  fifty-two  years  since  I  last  saw  these  gardens. 
I  picture  them  now  as  vast  and  mysterious  enclosures  and 
some  parts  of  them  as  an  impenetrable  jungle.  But  it 
is  very  possible  that  I  am  quite  wrong,  and  that  they  are 
not  even  large.  More  than  once  I  have  seen,  after  a 
long  interval  and  when  I  was  grown  up,  a  place  where  I 
often  ran  about  in  childhood  or  a  house  in  which  I  lived 

1  All  my  descriptions  are  taken  either  from   the  originals  or  from 
drawings  or  from  Blumenbach  corrected  and  supplemented  by  us  at  the 
time.     They  may  contain  some  discrepancies  from  those  given  in  the 
text-books.     This  is  due  to  a  fact  which  we  did  not  know  then — that 
there  are  two  flights  of  many  butterflies,  in  spring  and  in  autumn  ;  and 
the  colours  of  the  spring  butterflies,  which  have  hibernated,  are  much 
less  brilliant.     In  general,  I  do  not  correct  the  mistakes  which  we  made  ; 
the    science    of   entomology  has  made    great    strides  in   fifty   years. 
(Authors  Note.) 

2  What  we  call  a  "  Woolly  Bear,"  the  larva  of  the  Tiger  Moth, 


176  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

for  long  ;  and  I  have  always  been  surprised  to  find  them 
so  much  smaller  than  their  images  which  lived  in  my 
memory.  I  fear  the  same  might  happen  with  these 
gardens  ;  and  therefore  I  warn  my  readers  that  I  describe 
all  objects  as  they  appeared  to  me  fifty  years  since. 

First  I  wandered  for  a  good  while  about  the  clearings 
and  grassy  spaces,  and  caught  a  number  of  butterflies, 
including  several  quite  unknown  to  me ;  some  of  them 
I  imagined  must  be  valuable  from  the  peculiarity  of  their 
shapes  and  colours.  Then  I  began  to  search  for  cater- 
pillars, chrysalises,  and  moths  which  attracted  me  even 
more  strongly  than  butterflies.  When  I  found  a  cater- 
pillar, I  always  broke  off  the  plant  or  twig  on  which  I 
found  it,  that  I  might  know  how  to  feed  it.  I  might 
have  collected  a  number  of  grubs ;  but  my  box  was  full 
enough  already  and  I  had  nowhere  to  put  them.  I  turned 
my  attention  therefore  to  chrysalises  and  moths :  I 
examined  the  underside  of  the  leaves  of  all  tall  broad- 
leaved  plants,  the  hollows  in  old  trees  and  all  the  crevices 
and  depressions  in  the  bark,  and,  finally,  the  cracks  in  the 
tumbledown  fences.  I  succeeded  beyond  my  expectation, 
and  was  forced  to  stop  my  search,  for  want  of  room  to 
stow  away  any  more.  I  hastened  back  to  our  rendezvous, 
and  found  that  Pandyeff  had  been  waiting  there  for  me 
a  long  time. 

I  guessed  at  once  from  his  face  that  he  had  been  success- 
ful. But  he  would  neither  tell  me  anything  nor  listen  to 
my  report :  he  only  said  :  "If  we  delay  any  longer,  those 
butterflies,  which  have  had  their  thorax  squeezed  too 
hard,  will  shrivel  up,  and  it  will  be  impossible  to  set  them." 
Though  I  wanted  very  much  to  rest,  the  reason  he  gave 
was  so  weighty  and  convincing  that  I  agreed  to  make 
an  immediate  start  for  home.  We  made  straight  for 
Pandyeff 's  house  on  the  Black  Lake,  intending  to  deal  at 
once  with  the  fruits  of  our  activity,  and  hoping  that  we 
might  possibly  eclipse  our  rivals  at  the  first  go-off.  The 
thought  lent  us  strength,  and  we  walked  manfully  along, 
telling  of  our  achievements  and  failures,  and  discussing 
at  the  same  time  the  remains  of  our  bread.  How  happy 
we  were  on  our  way  to  the  house !  Pandyeff  had  four 
brothers — two  older  and  two  younger  than  himself.  They 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  177 

all  took  a  lively  interest  in  the  collection  and  were  awaiting 
us  with  impatience.  As  we  were  dying  of  thirst,  they 
first  gave  us  some  kvass  x  to  drink  and  then  made  us  sit 
down  to  our  task.  Panayeff  had  to  set  the  best  butter- 
flies and  all  that  we  had  not  got  already ;  the  duplicates 
were  left  to  me,  and  the  common  sorts,  and  also  those 
which  we  called  "  reversible,"  i.e.  those  which  were  set 
upside  down  so  as  to  show  the  under  side  of  the  wings. 
The  Professor  told  us  that  in  museums  a  specimen  of 
every  butterfly  is  set  in  this  manner  ;  but  we  only  did  it 
when  the  under  side  was  rather  conspicuous ;  in  some 
butterflies  the  under  surface  is  even  more  beautiful  than 
the  upper. 

On  reviewing  our  bag  it  appeared  that  both  of  us,  and 
I  especially  in  my  haste  and  excitement,  had  sometimes 
squeezed  the  thorax  of  the  insects  too  much  or  too  little. 
Some  were  quite  dead ;  others  had  fluttered  in  their 
confinement  and  rubbed  the  colour  off  their  wings ;  but 
we  were  glad  to  find  that  our  best  butterflies  were  well 
preserved.  Twelve  new  specimens  were  added  to  our 
collection,  and  half  of  them  we  were  able  to  identify  on  the 
spot  from  Blumenbach,  which  we  knew  almost  by  heart ; 
but  the  rest  puzzled  us,  because  Blumenbach  is  very 
brief  and  inaccurate  in  his  descriptions  and  leaves  out 
many  butterflies  altogether.  For  instance,  there  is  not 
a  word  about  the  small  blues  or  orange-golds  which 
glitter  like  burnished  silver  and  gold,  yet  they  occur  at 
times  in  large  numbers.  I  once  saw  a  large  blue  butter- 
fly of  this  kind ;  but  I  regret  to  say  that  I  failed  to 
capture  it. 

I  will  enumerate  the  butterflies  which  we  were  able  to 
identify  with  certainty.  (1)  The  Large  Cabbage  White, 
with  black  wing-tips  and  two  small  black  patches  ;  this 
must  not  be  confused  with  the  common  Cabbage,  of  which 
there  are  several  sorts.  (2)  The  Peacock,  rather  large, 
very  beautiful,  and  rare  ;  the  indented  wings  are  of  a 
dark  cherry-colour,  with  a  large  bluish-purple  eye  on 
each  and  five  small  white  spots  along  the  margin ;  the 
eyes  on  the  fore-wings  have  an  incomplete  yellow  ring ; 
on  the  hind-wings  the  ring  is  buff,  and  so  is  the  under 

1  A  popular  Russian  drink,  made  of  malt  and  rye. 
M 


178  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

surface  of  the  wings  ;  the  edging  of  the  wings  is  black. 
On  the  fore-wings  there  is  a  dark  interval  and  then  a 
yellow  spot  between  the  eye  and  the  body.  (3)  The 
Marble  White,  with  indented  wings  speckled  with  black 
on  a  pale  straw-coloured  ground ;  on  the  under  surface 
of  the  wings  there  are  colourless  eyes,  one  on  the  upper 
wing  and  five  or  more  on  the  hind-wing.  This  butterfly 
does  not  occur  now  at  Kazan.  (4)  The  Comma.  We  were 
much  pleased  with  this  butterfly  which  Panayeff  caught. 
We  had  read  the  description  with  surprise  and  some 
incredulity  :  was  it  possible  that  a  butterfly  should  have 
on  its  wings  a  white  letter  C,  and  a  stop  after  the  letter  ? 
It  is  of  moderate  size ;  the  much  indented  wings  are 
reddish-yellow,  chequered  and  spotted  with  black ;  and 
the  white  C,  followed  by  a  white  stop,  is  very  clearly 
marked  on  the  under  surface  of  the  hind-wings.  (5)  The 
Dark  Green  Fritillary.  The  wings  are  roundish  and 
yellow-brown,  with  black  spots  regularly  arranged  like 
columns  of  figures ;  the  under  surface,  according  to 
Blumenbach,  has  twenty-one  silver  spots  ;  but  they  can 
hardly  be  called  spots,  and  the  real  colour  is  mother-of- 
pearl,  divided  by  dark  streaks  into  dice  of  different  sizes 
and  shapes,  some  of  them  being  roundish.  (6)  The  Grizzled 
Skipper,  also  called  the  Mallow  Butterfly,  because  it 
breeds  on  that  plant ;  the  wings  are  dark  with  white 
spots  and  indented  along  the  margin.  (7)  The  Oleander 
Hawk-moth.  Though  Blumenbach  says  that  this  insect 
breeds  on  the  oleander,  and  it  ought  not  therefore  to 
exist  in  Russia,  yet  the  green  pointed  wings  with  pale  or 
dark  or  yellow  stripes  and  spots,  faithfully  described  by 
Blumenbach,  leave  no  doubt  of  its  identity  and  its  exis- 
tence in  the  Government  of  Kazan.  (8)  The  Spurge 
Hawk-moth.  This  beautiful  creature  has  rather  large 
brown  wings,  with  a  pale  pink  stripe  across  the  fore-wings 
and  a  red  stripe  across  the  hind-wings.  (9)  The  Six- 
spot  Burnet  Moth,  of  two  kinds.  I  caught  the  first ;  and 
I  mistook  it  for  an  emerald-green  beetle  as  it  flew  past ; 
but,  when  it  settled  on  the  grass,  I  had  a  good  view  of 
it  and  was  enraptured  by  its  beauty.  Its  upper  wings 
are  just  like  green  velvet  shot  with  blue,  and  there  are 
six  crimson  spots  on  each ;  the  under  wings  are  much 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  179 

smaller  and  crimson  with  a  narrow  black  edging  ;  the 
whole  body  is  greenish-blue  and  iridescent.  The  other 
kind  of  Burnet  (10)  was  caught  by  Panayeff.  It  is  rather 
smaller  ;  the  fore-wings  are  greenish-brown  with  the  same 
beautiful  spots ;  the  hind- wings  are  pale  pink  or  yellowish- 
pink.  These  moths  were  long  our  pride  and  glory,  because 
our  rivals  sought  for  them  in  vain.  But  rny  chief  delight 
was  in  a  Ghost  Moth  (11)  which  I  found  in  the  hollow  of 
an  old  lime-tree.  The  head  is  shaped  exactly  like  an 
owl's,  the  body  is  reddish-yellow,  and  the  wings  white  as 
snow  above  and  dark  brown  beneath ;  to  crown  all, 
it  was  as  fresh  as  if  it  had  just  been  hatched.  According 
to  Blumenbach,  it  was  a  male  ;  for  the  female  has  reddish- 
yellow  wings. 

We  set  our  butterflies  and  admired  them  to  our  hearts' 
content.  Then,  after  a  hasty  meal  with  my  partner — 
his  brothers,  knowing  that  we  should  be  late,  had  dined 
much  earlier — I  hurried  home.  I  had  about  thirty 
caterpillars  and  as  many  chrysalises  to  stow  away.  The 
butterfly  chrysalises  I  tried  to  attach  to  the  sides  or  lid 
of  my  boxes,  which  opened  at  the  side  for  this  purpose. 
But  it  was  a  difficult  operation,  because  the  sticky  stuff, 
like  raw  silk,  by  which  the  caterpillars  fasten  their  tails 
to  the  under  side  of  leaves  or  the  bark  of  trees,  had  dried 
up  by  this  time ;  and,  though  I  removed  the  chrysalises 
very  carefully  with  a  penknife,  the  gum  had  got  wetted 
and  refused  to  stick  on  the  lid  or  even  the  sides  of  the  box. 
Panayeff  later  devised  a  plan  of  sticking  them  on  with 
cherry-tree  gum,  which  proved  very  successful.  The 
cocoons  of  moths,  which  were  wrapped  up  in  a  sort  of 
nest  of  fluff,  I  put  in  a  box  by  themselves,  and  covered 
them  over  with  tufts  of  cotton  wool,  to  protect  them  from 
the  light,  because  I  knew  that  they  were  always  found  in 
thick  shade. 

Next  morning  my  partner  and  I  went  down  to  college 
half  an  hour  before  lectures  began,  wishing  to  report  our 
own  acquisitions  and  to  discover  how  our  rivals  had  got 
on  ;  for  we  knew  that  they  also  had  planned  an  expedition 
to  the  country.  I  admit  that  we  were  in  a  sanguine 
state  of  mind  and  anticipated  that  the  advantage  would  be 
on  our  side.  But,  as  soon  as  we  entered  the  dormitories, 


180  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

several  students,  who  took  a  special  interest  in  the  venture 
of  Timyansky  and  Kaisaroff,  hailed  us  loudly  as  follows  : 
"  It 's  simply  marvellous,  the  butterflies  that  Timyansky 
and  Kaisaroff  have  caught !  You  fellows  have  no  chance 
beside  them  !  And  what  a  host  of  rare  insects  of  all 
kinds  they  've  got !  They  're  busy  with  them  now  up- 
stairs in  Fuchs'  lecture-room.  They  've  actually  got  a 
Swallow-tail  \ "  We  were  sadly  discomfited  and  taken 
aback  by  this  news;  the  mention  of  the  Swallow-tail 
in  particular  was  a  crushing  blow.  Our  friends  were  quite 
ready  to  talk,  and  we  now  heard  that  our  rivals,  with  three 
other  students,  had  spent  the  whole  of  the  previous  day 
in  the  country,  near  the  Zilanty  Monastery,  about  four 
versts  from  Kazan ;  they  had  taken  with  them  a  large 
box  on  purpose  to  hold  setting-boards  for  the  butterflies 
and  drying-boards  for  other  insects ;  and  they  had 
collected  specimens  of  seventy  different  kinds !  We 
went  upstairs  and  were  soon  convinced  by  the  evidence  of 
our  own  eyes  that  our  rivals  had  triumphed.  Of  all  the 
butterflies  which  we  two  had  caught,  except  the  Burnets 
and  the  Ghost  Moth,  they  had  got  several  specimens ; 
and  they  had  also  caught  a  dozen  species  unknown  to  us, 
including  two  Orange  Tips,  which  are  found  near  Kazan 
but  not  every  year ;  and,  above  all,  they  had  captured  a 
Swallow-tail.  When  I  looked  at  it,  spread  out  on  the 
setting-board  in  all  its  size  and  beauty,  my  heart  beat 
fast  with  admiration  and  envy !  The  great  butterfly 
kingdom  contains,  according  to  Blumenbach,  only  four 
kinds  of  Swallow-tail^  The  first  of  these,  Priam,  he  de- 
scribes as  follows  :  "  the  wings  are  indented  and  green 
above  with  black  patches  ;  the  hind-wings  have  six  black 
spots.  It  breeds  in  the  Molucca  Islands.  This  and  the 
following  species  are  the  finest  and  largest  of  all  butter- 
flies." Of  the  second,  Ulysses,  he  says  :  "  the  wings  are 
brown  with  tails  or  spurs ;  but  the  upper  margin  is 
bright  blue  and  indented ;  each  hind-wing  has  seven 
eyes.  This  also  breeds  in  the  Moluccas."  Even  from 
this  short  and  meagre  description,  one  can  imagine  the 

1  Ten  species  are  now  known  to  breed  in  Europe ;  but  the  Chinese 
8wu.liouo-ta.ils  are  four  times  as  large  as  the  European  insect.  (Author's 
Note.) 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  181 

glorious  beauty  of  these  two  insects.  Fuchs,  who  had 
seen  them,  said  that  they  were  the  size  of  a  bat  and 
beautiful  beyond  description.  "The  other  two  species 
breed  in  Europe,"  continues  Blumenbach  ;  and  a  specimen 
of  one  of  these  two  our  rivals  had  been  lucky  enough  to 
find !  We  could  not  but  envy  Timyansky  his  good 
fortune  ;  for  we  did  not  know  then  that  these  two  species 
breed  in  all  parts  of  Russia  and  are  not  very  rare. 

Timyansky  noted  our  confusion  and  said  with  a  smile 
of  triumph  :  "  Well,  now  that  I  have  shown  all  our  butter- 
flies, you  might  as  well  show  yours."  My  partner  answered 
that  we  had  few  specimens  and  nothing  particular  to  show  ; 
"  But,  if  you  like,"  he  said,  "  we  will  bring  what  we  have, 
to-morrow  or  next  day ;  the  insects  will  not  be  dry  till 
then,  especially  a  very  fat  Ghost  Moth.''  "  A  Ghost 
Moth  !  "  said  Timyansky  surprised  :  "  have  you  got 
that  ?  Why,  it 's  a  rarity."  I  said  that  I  had  found  it 
in  a  hollow  tree,  and  that  it  was  a  perfect  specimen.  It 
was  obvious  that  it  was  now  his  turn  to  be  jealous  of  our 
Ghost  Moth,  and  this  cheered  us  up  a  good  deal.  When 
we  left  the  room,  Panayeff  said  to  me  in  quite  good  spirits  : 
"  I  say,  did  you  notice  how  badly  all  their  butterflies  were 
set  ?  Why,  they  're  not  fit  to  black  the  boots  of  ours  !  " 
I  had  not  taken  any  special  notice  of  this  defect ;  but, 
when  thus  reminded,  I  wras  convinced  that  Panayeff  was 
perfectly  right ;  and  we  both  marched  off  to  attend  our 
lectures,  very  much  easier  in  our  minds. 

The  very  next  day  we  succeeded  in  increasing  our 
collection  by  the  addition  of  three  very  beautiful  moths, 
so  tiny  that  we  had  to  stick  them  on  lace-pins  of  the 
smallest  size ;  it  needed  all  Panayeff 's  skill  and  neatness 
to  set  them.  I  caught  them  in  the  grassy  valleys  near  my 
lodgings,  where  I  had  chanced  to  give  a  look  round. 
Though  the  sun  was  high,  there  was  shade  there  already 
and  the  moths  were  abroad. 

Two  days  later  we  took  our  cabinet,  now  containing 
thirty-five  specimens,  to  college  for  our  companions  to 
see.  A  crowd  collected  in  a  moment,  and  the  superiority 
of  our  collection,  in  respect  to  the  perfect  condition  and 
neat  setting  of  the  butterflies,  was  admitted  by  every  one. 
In  particular,  it  was  impossible  to  help  admiring  the 


182  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

charming  little  new  moths  :  they  seemed  actually  alive  ; 
for  the  tiny  pins  on  which  they  were  stuck  escaped  the 
eye  altogether.  It  must  be  added  that  everything  about 
our  cabinet — the  lining,  the  glass  lid,  the  lock  and  handles 
— was  very  trim  and  neat,  thanks  to  my  partner's  super- 
vision. All  the  spectators  were  naturally  impressed  by 
these  external  advantages ;  but  Timyansky  was  quite 
able  to  perceive  and  appraise  what  I  may  call  the  intrinsic 
value  of  our  collection.  With  some  vexation  and,  per- 
haps, envy  he  gave  faint  praise  to  our  specimens,  especially 
the  Ghost  Moth  and  the  Six-spot  Burnets ;  but  he  made 
this  criticism — that  the  insects  were  set  too  stiffly,  on 
purpose  to  be  shown  off,  as  it  were,  and  that  the  position 
given  to  them  was  not  natural.  If  there  was  a  grain  of 
truth  in  the  last  objection,  we  were  not  to  blame  :  we  had 
only  followed  the  universal  method  of  naturalists.  I  said 
this  at  once  in  our  defence ;  and  I  added,  in  defence  of 
naturalists  in  general,  that  living  butterflies  often  adopt 
the  exact  position  in  which  they  are  set ;  moths,  it  was 
true,  did  not  expand  their  wings  on  perching  but  held 
them  erect  like  a  fan,  so  as  to  conceal  the  hind-wings  ; 
but  they  would  lose  half  their  attraction  if  set  in  that 
position,  because  the  under-wings  are  often  their  chief 
beauty  ;  and  the  upright  position  conveyed  no  true  notion 
of  the  insect.  Then  Panayeff  struck  in  :  "  Your  own 
way  of  setting  is  just  as  unnatural.  Did  you  ever  see 
a  butterfly  with  the  fore-wings  erect  and  the  hind-wings 
hanging  down  ?  "  But  Timyansky  would  not  give  way. 
He  tried  to  prove  that  his  method  was  less  artificial  than 
ours  ;  there  arose  a  dispute  between  the  supporters  of  the 
rival  theories  ;  and,  even  if  we  did  not  quarrel  openly, 
we  did  not  part  as  friends.  They  soon  gave  us  the 
nickname  of  "  the  wealthy  amateurs,"  and  called  us  by 
it  even  to  our  faces.  I  confess  I  resented  this,  chiefly 
because  it  was  entirely  undeserved.  Our  cabinet  might 
perhaps  be  called  smart,  but  it  was  not  in  the  least 
sumptuous  :  its  chief  merit  was  its  perfectly  clean  and 
neat  condition — a  point  on  which  Panayeff  laid  great 
stress,  and  to  which  I  attended  carefully.  Then  one  of 
our  opponents  called  our  collection  "  the  aristocrats' 
collection,"  and  this  nickname  too  became  fashionable, 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  183 

because  it  so  happened  that  all  the  opposite  party  belonged 
to  the  common  people,  whereas  Panayeff  and  I  wore, 
while  we  were  schoolboys,  red  collars  on  our  jackets  as 
a  sign  of  noble  birth.  This  was  very  distressing  ;  because 
none  of  us  had  ever  before  said  a  single  word  about  differ- 
ences in  social  position,  or  even  alluded  to  the  subject. 
But  I  am  thankful  to  say  that  all  this  disagreeable  friction 
passed  off  in  course  of  time,  and  the  competition  was 
carried  on  in  a  friendly  spirit  and  without  mutual  jealousy. 
Timyansky  had  got  already,  not  only  upwards  of  fifty 
butterflies  and  moths,  but  specimens  of  nearly  a  hundred 
other  insects ;  some  of  these  had  brilliant  iridescent 
colouring,  chiefly  beetles  and  dragonflies,  ladybirds  and 
Spanish  flies ;  and  others  were  remarkable  for  the 
peculiarity  of  their  appearance.  But  I  liked  none  of  them, 
and  even  felt  a  disgust  for  them.  Butterflies,  and  nothing 
but  butterflies,  were  the  object  of  a  passion  which  grew 
stronger  with  me  every  day. 

At  the  first  opportunity,  my  partner  and  I  sallied  forth 
again  and  visited  various  parks  and  gardens  on  the  out- 
skirts of  the  town.  In  one  of  these  we  found  few  butterflies 
but  spent  a  long  time  in  watching  the  rabbits.  There 
were  hundreds  of  them,  and  a  highish  mound — whether 
natural  or  artificial,  I  do  not  know — was  given  up  to  them 
entirely  and  enclosed  by  a  strong  fence.  They  bred  there 
in  immense  numbers  ;  the  whole  mound  was  riddled  with 
their  burrows  ;  swarms  of  them  ran  to  and  fro,  and  it  was 
pretty  to  watch  them  at  play  ;  but,  whenever  we  made  a 
noise  or  called  out,  as  we  did  on  purpose  from  time  to 
time,  the  timid  little  creatures  took  fright  and  vanished 
into  their  holes. 

Another  of  our  resorts  was  the  clearing  made  in  the 
woods  for  beehives,  and  the  hilly  ground  on  both  sides  of 
it.  There  are  deep  dells  there,  covered  in  those  days  with 
young  trees  ;  we  students  used  to  call  the  place  "  Switzer- 
land," and  the  name  has  stuck  to  it.  I  have  even  been 
told  that  half  of  it  is  now  called  "  German  Switzerland," 
and  the  other  half, nearer  the  town,  "Russian Switzerland." 
Our  researches  were  more  or  less  successful,  and  by  degrees 
we  added  to  our  collection  all  the  specimens  possessed 
by  Timyansky,  with  one  exception — the  Swallow-tail. 


184  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

We  even  despaired  of  ever  getting  it,  because  it  was 
then  believed  to  be  of  rare  occurrence  in  the  neighbourhood 
of  Kazan.  That  Swallow-tail  was  a  thorn  in  our  flesh  ! 
It  was  some  time  before  we  got  the  Orange  Tip,  which  is 
a  very  charming  creature,  though  its  colouring  is  not 
specially  bright  or  varied.  Its  wings  are  rounded  and 
milk-white,  and  covered  with  a  peculiar  soft  down  ;  each 
fore-wing  has  a  single  spot  of  bright  orange  on  the  top 
corner ;  the  reverse  of  the  hind- wings  is  mottled  green. 
Among  our  most  beautiful  butterflies  I  may  mention  first 
the  Purple  Emperor.  Its  wings  are  somewhat  indented, 
of  a  shining  dark-brown  which  changes  with  the  light 
to  a  brilliant  purple ;  a  white  band  runs  half  across  the 
fore-wings,  and  each  hind-wing  has  a  white  eye  at  the 
upper  edge ;  it  has  this  peculiarity  that  the  under 
surface  of  the  wings  is  an  exact  repetition,  in  paler  colours, 
of  the  upper  surface.  Still  more  beautiful  is  the  Red 
Admiral.  It  also  has  indented  wings  of  a  lustrous  black 
variegated  with  white  spots ;  a  bright  scarlet  band  runs 
all  across  the  fore-wings,  and  a  similar  band,  with  small 
black  spots,  edges  the  curve  of  each  hind-wing.  It  must 
be  confessed  that  both  collections  contained  a  number 
of  anonymous  specimens,  which  we  could  not  identify 
out  of  Blumenbach,  and  to  which  Professor  Fuchs  could 
give  no  Russian  names. 

My  breeding-cages  had  long  been  filled  to  overflowing 
with  caterpillars.  Many  turned  into  chrysalises,  and 
many  died,  probably  for  want  of  fresh  air  or  proper  food. 
It  was  difficult  to  provide  the  exact  plant  which  they 
preferred,  because  we  seldom  knew  the  name  either  of 
the  caterpillar  or  its  food-plant.  As  a  rule  I  picked  plants 
of  all  kinds  and  tried  to  change  them  as  often  as  possible. 
I  found  great  enjoyment  in  watching  my  charges  several 
times  a  day.  Those  which  were  near  their  change  when  I 
caught  them  hardly  ever  died  on  my  hands.  The  butterfly 
grubs,  which  were  all  smooth-skinned,  fastened  their  tails, 
by  means  of  some  sticky  stuff  discharged  from  their 
mouths,  to  the  sides  or  lid  of  their  box.  At  first  I  thought 
they  were  dead  and  was  much  distressed.  But  as  a  rule 
the  dry  and  shrivelled  caterpillar-skin  fell  off  in  twenty- 
four  hours,  and  the  chrysalis  was  left  there  hanging. 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  185 

Imagine  my  joy,  when,  instead  of  a  wretched  and  appar- 
ently dead  caterpillar,  I  suddenly  found  a  pretty  chrysalis  ! 
Many  of  them  were  golden  in  colour ;  they  had  little 
horns  and  visible  outlines  of  the  wings,  and  all  the  lower 
part  of  the  body  was  thorn-shaped.  The  caterpillars  of 
twilight  moths  were  all  more  or  less  hairy ;  they  set  to 
work  at  the  top  corner  of  their  box  or  under  a  leaf  of  their 
food-plant,  and  wound  round  their  bodies  fine  threads 
of  the  same  sticky  stuff,  with  some  of  their  own  hairs  in  it. 
These  threads  were  sometimes  downy  like  cotton  wool, 
and  sometimes  covered  with  a  white  shiny  glaze  which 
made  them  look  like  a  fine  transparent  wrapping.  The 
grubs  of  the  true  moths,  which,  with  few  exceptions,  were 
very  hairy,  made  themselves  shell-shaped  cocoons,  where 
they  lay  down,  sealed  themselves  up,  and  turned  into 
chrysalises.  In  the  case  of  the  last  two  kinds,  the  dry 
cast  skin  of  the  caterpillar  always  lay  beside  the  chrysalis 
in  the  nest.  The  chrysalis  was  oval  and  smooth,  with  no 
points  or  projections  ;  but  here  too  it  was  possible  to 
see  the  outlines  of  the  head,  wings,  antennae,  legs,  and 
segments  of  the  body.  They  are  always  dark  in  colour 
and,  in  the  case  of  some  true  moths,  quite  black. 

Before  the  time  of  their  transformation,  which  differed 
greatly  in  different  cases,  my  caterpillars,  if  they  did  not 
die  of  starvation  or  want  of  fresh  air,  changed  their  skins 
two  or  three  times  ;  before  this  change  they  always  fell 
into  a  kind  of  sleep  or  swoon,  and  did  not  fasten  themselves 
on  to  anything.  I  believe  I  threw  some  away  at  first, 
thinking  that  they  were  dead.  The  rejuvenated  cater- 
pillar seemed  weak  or  ill  at  first,  but  he  had  more  hair 
and  much  brighter  colour,  and  soon  attacked  his  food  with 
intense  voracity,  and  recovered  his  health  very  quickly. 
Some  of  the  chrysalises  which  I  had  collected  hatched  out 
into  creatures  like  winged  black-beetles,  of  most  repulsive 
appearance.  They  must  have  been  very  like  butterfly 
chrysalises,  as  I  could  see  no  difference.  Some  of  the 
butterflies  came  out  deformed — with  a  dwarfed  wing,  or 
only  one  wing,  or  a  wing  which  remained  furled  and  would 
not  expand.  The  Professor  could  not  give  me  a  satis- 
factory explanation  of  these  phenomena.  But  I  suppose 
that  the  chrysalises  had  been  somehow  crushed  or  bruised, 


186  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

so  that  the  wing  on  the  injured  side  could  not  develop 
normally.  It  very  often  happened  that  a  butterfly, 
when  nearly  dead  and  while  being  set,  laid  a  quantity  of 
eggs,  which  developed  in  due  time  into  tiny  grubs.  Nor 
is  this  surprising,  as  the  female  may  have  been  fertilised 
before  she  was  caught ;  but  it  is  surely  remarkable  that  a 
moth,  which  I  bred  myself  and  set  a  few  hours  later,  laid 
eggs  on  the  setting-board,  and  the  eggs  proved  fertile. 
A  surprising  discovery  of  the  same  kind  was  made  not 
long  ago  with  regard  to  bees,  not  only  the  queens  but  the 
workers  also,1  and  afforded  a  remarkable  proof  of  Nature's 
care  to  provide  for  the  multiplication  of  her  creatures. 

As  soon  as  our  collection  was  inferior  in  no  respect 
(except,  alas  !  for  the  Swallow-tail)  to  that  of  our  rivals, 
and  far  superior  in  the  condition  and  arrangement  of  the 
specimens,  we  took  our  cabinets — we  had  two  by  this 
time — to  the  Professor  for  exhibition.  He  was  profuse  in 
praise  of  our  skill,  and  especially  admired  the  small  moths 
which  were  just  as  well  set  as  the  large  ones.  He  expressed 
much  regret  that  we  did  not  intend  to  collect  other 
insects. 

Meantime  spring  came  to  an  end,  and  summer  began  to 
reign  instead.  The  nightingale  sang  his  last  strains,  and 
almost  all  the  other  song-birds  became  silent ;  only  the 
mocking-bird  continued  to  mimic  and  mix  up  the  notes  of 
other  songsters,  and  even  he  soon  had  to  stop.  The 
larks  alone  were  left :  hanging  at  an  invisible  height  in  the 
sky,  they  poured  down  their  music  from  above  and  gave 
life  to  the  sleepy  stillness  of  sultry  summer.  Spring 
with  the  sound  of  all  its  voices  was  over — spring,  the 
season  of  careless  merriment  and  song  and  love  !  The 
summer  solstice  passed  by,  the  12th  of  June,  when, 
according  to  the  Russian  saying,  the  sun  takes  the  turn  to 
winter  and  the  summer  to  heat.  Their  busy  season  had 
begun  for  the  birds — the  season  of  constant  cares  and 
perpetual  alarms,  of  instinctive  self-sacrifice  and  parental 
love.  By  this  time  the  young  of  the  song-birds  were 
hatched  ;  they  had  to  be  fed,  and  then  taught  to  fly,  and 

1  Three  Discoveries  in  the  Natural  History  of  the  liee,  by  K.  F.  Roulier, 
Professor  in  Moscow  University  ;  printed  at  Moscow  1857-  (Author* 
Note.) 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  187 

defended  at  every  moment  from  dangerous  foes,  from 
birds  and  beasts  of  prey.  The  parent  birds  sing  no  longer ; 
they  talk  instead.  They  never  stop  calling  to  summon 
their  stupid  little  young  ones,  who  can  only  gape  with 
their  hungry  bills  and  answer  with  a  plaintive  monotonous 
cheeping.  The  change  took  place  in  little  more  than  a 
fortnight,  during  which  time  I  was  kept  in  town.  I  was 
struck  and  even  saddened  by  it  when  I  went  out  early 
one  morning  in  the  second  half  of  June  and  walked  with 
my  inseparable  companion  to  the  shady  Neyolovsky 
park.  I  had  never  in  previous  years  noticed  such  a 
complete  change  in  the  life  of  the  birds. 

Our  captures  on  this  occasion  were  insignificant ; 
indeed  failure  and  disappointment  made  this  expedition 
live  long  in  our  memories.  Panayeff  saw  a  Swallow-tail 
but  failed  to  catch  it ;  and  I  utterly  destroyed  a  splendid 
red  moth,  whose  name  I  don't  know,  but  I  remember  it 
perfectly  well,  chiefly  because  my  memory  was  refreshed 
by  a  later  incident.  It  was  very  large,  thrice  the  size  of 
the  common  red  moths  which  often  singe  their  wings  at  a 
lighted  candle.  The  insect  I  spoilt  was  a  rare  one  :  all 
its  wings,  head,  and  body  were  covered  with  velvety  dust 
of  a  bright  red  colour,  but  its  brilliance  was  dimmed  by 
thin  yellow  streaks  which  covered  it  all  over.  I  took  it  up 
carefully,  squeezed  its  thorax,  and  somehow  dropped  it 
in  the  grass.  While  searching  for  it.  I  trod  on  it  and 
destroyed  the  lovely  creature.  It  makes  me  smile,  when 
I  recall  how  intensely  grieved  I  was  by  this  loss,  and  how 
long  I  took  to  get  over  it.  In  the  year  1810,  when  I  was 
walking  in  the  Summer  Park  in  Petersburg,  I  saw  an 
exactly  similar  moth  perched  under  a  broad  leaf  of  a 
time-honoured  maple.  The  old  passion  revived  in  me  : 
I  caught  and  set  it  and  made  a  present  of  it  to  a  naturalist. 

Time  heals  all  wounds,  and  Panayeff  and  I  became 
reconciled  to  the  thought  that  we  did  not  possess,  and 
perhaps  should  never  possess,  a  Swallow-tail.  Timyansky 
also  ceased  to  resent  the  general  opinion  that  our  butterflies 
were  better  than  his,  and  consoled  himself  with  the 
thought  that  he  collected  all  insects  and  was  superior  in 
this  way  to  us  who  confined  our  attentions  to  one  kind.  $* 

The  examinations  which  now  came  on  were  not,  and 


188  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

could  not  be,  conducted  under  the  conditions  usual  in 
other  Universities.  They  were  of  the  nature  of  domestic 
and  friendly  tests,  or  I  might  call  them  a  review  of  all  that 
the  professors  had  found  time  to  impart  and  the  students 
to  acquire.  There  were  no  separate  faculties,  and  conse- 
quently no  prescribed  courses  of  study  and  no  transferences 
from  one  to  another.  Ours  was  a  very  young  and  rudi- 
mentary institution ;  but  nevertheless,  there  was  a 
genuine  desire  for  knowledge  among  us,  and  much  solid 
laying  of  foundations  for  further  acquisitions.  If  the 
amount  of  scientific  information  imparted  was  small,  yet 
it  became  a  part  of  the  learners,  was  fully  appropriated 
by  them,  and  contributed  to  the  independent  development 
of  youthful  intellects.  The  subjects  of  instruction  were 
so  much  mixed  up,  and  the  council  of  examiners  were  so 
tolerant  of  the  confusion,  that  Zapolsky,  for  example, 
the  professor  of  Applied  Physics,  made  us  read  aloud 
before  the  examiners  our  essays  on  philosophical  or  even 
purely  literary  subjects  ;  and  no  one  thought  this  strange. 
Zapolsky  himself  set  up  for  a  philosopher :  he  was  a 
disciple  and  admirer  of  Kant,  and  never  delivered  a  lecture 
on  Physics  without  bringing  in  the  Kritik  der  reinen 
Vernunft.  One  day  he  launched  out  into  "  efficient 
causes "  and  "  final  causes,"  and  then  proposed  that 
all  who  understood  him  and  took  an  interest  in  the 
subject  should  write  something  on  it  and  show  it  up  to 
him.  Ten  students,  of  whom  I  was  one,  wrote  essays  ; 
and  what  was  my  astonishment,  when  the  compositions 
read  aloud  at  the  examination  included  my  three  pages 
on  efficient  and  final  causes  !  They  showed,  I  have  no 
doubt,  a  most  childish  and  superficial  comprehension  of 
the  subject.  Levitsky,  assistant  professor  of  Russian 
Rhetoric,  was  down  on  the  lecture-list  for  a  course  on 
Philosophy  and  Logic ;  but  he  had  long  ceased  to  give 
lectures  and  hardly  ever  came  to  college.  Yet  he  managed 
to  drag  himself  down  for  the  examination,  and  looked  so 
ill  that  he  alarmed  us  all.  He  examined  us,  not  in  his 
own  subject  of  Russian  Literature  but  on  Logic,  which  he 
used  to  teach  us  formerly  from  a  manuscript  text-book 
in  a  very  compressed  form  ;  he  warned  us  beforehand  to 
prepare  for  an  examination  in  Logic.  It  was  a  great  day 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  189 

for  the  professor  of  Natural  History  :  our  butterflies  and 
caterpillars  and  the  other  insects  were  all  triumphantly 
displayed.  Timyansky  gained  much  credit  by  his  wide 
knowledge  and  the  good  Latin  he  spoke  ;  and  I  too  had 
to  set  forth  my  observations  on  the  rearing  of  caterpillars 
and  their  transformations.  And  I  got  much  applause, 
even  from  those  professors  who  knew  no  Russian  and 
therefore  could  not  understand  a  word  I  said.  The 
mathematical  examination,  conducted  by  Kartashevsky. 
was  undoubtedly  the  most  successful ;  but  I  had  no  share 
in  that  glory  and  did  not  even  sit  for  the  examination. 
Among  all  our  subjects  mathematics  was  taught  with 
special  brilliance  and  success. 

The  examinations  diverted  our  thoughts  for  a  time  from 
butterflies ;  and  another  circumstance  contributed  to 
the  same  result.  I  had  a  violent  quarrel  with  Panayeff'  s 
elder  brothers,  though  we  had  always  hitherto  been  on 
very  good  terms.  One  of  them,  the  oldest,  applied  to  me 
a  term  so  rude  and  insulting  that  in  my  anger  I  solemnly 
vowed  never  to  enter  their  house  again  until  the  offender 
apologised.  He  never  thought  of  apologising,  and  I  stayed 
away  for  a  whole  week.  My  chosen  friend,  Alexander 
Panayeff,  came  to  see  me  nearly  every  day,  but  what  he 
told  me  of  his  elder  brothers  only  increased  my  resentment. 
I  was  especially  vexed  with  Ivan  Panayeff,  the  chief  poet 
among  us ;  he  was  an  excellent  comrade,  kind  and  just ; 
in  his  family  he  was  considered  the  flower  of  the  flock, 
and  he  was  fond  of  me.  And  yet  he  did  not  take  up  the 
cudgels  in  my  defence,  but  actually  justified  his  brother 
instead  of  forcing  him  to  apologise  !  But  great  events 
happen  just  when  they  are  least  expected,  and  unravel 
in  a  moment  the  tightest  knots,  which  might  otherwise 
take  a  long  time  to  undo  or  never  come  undone 
at  all. 

On  one  of  the  last  days  of  June,  when  our  examinations 
were  drawing  to  a  close,  I  went  back  from  college  to  my 
lodgings.  I  should  have  dined  at  once,  but  some  mys- 
terious motive  made  me  take  my  butterfly-net  and  walk 
out,  in  spite  of  the  burning  heat,  into  the  grassy  valleys 
which  stretched  near  the  house.  I  felt  a  desire  to  make 
a  round  there  before  dinner  ;  but  why  I  felt  this,  I  cannot 


190  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

tell  to  this  day.  The  valley  to  the  left  of  the  house  was 
nearest,  and  I  had  got  about  halfway  down  it,  nearly 
suffocated  by  the  heat  of  this  hollow  where  no  breeze 
could  penetrate,  when  I  saw  within  two  yards  of  me, 
fluttering  from  flower  to  flower,  a  splendid  Swallow-tail ! 
At  first  I  was  so  surprised  that  I  could  not  believe  my 
eyes ;  then  I  recovered  and  brushed  the  butterfly  with  a 
hasty  swoop  of  my  net  off  the  top  of  a  thistle  still  in 
flower.  It  disappeared  ;  I  examined  the  crumpled  folds 
of  the  net,  but  there  was  nothing  there  !  It  flashed  into 
my  mind  that  I  was  dreaming,  when  suddenly,  at  the  very 
bottom  of  the  gauze,  I  saw  my  inestimable  prize,  the 
Swallow-tail  which  I  had  longed  and  prayed  for ;  he  was 
lying  with  folded  wings,  in  a  position  which  made  it  easy 
for  me  to  seize  him  and  squeeze  his  thorax.  I  did  so  at 
once,  and  then,  without  taking  him  out  of  the  net,  ran 
home  half-crazy  with  excitement. 

My  servant  Yevseitch  was  waiting  for  me  by  the  steps, 
and  I  began  yelling  to  him  from  some  distance  off — "  Fetch 
a  cab  !  fetch  a  cab  !  "  Alarmed  by  my  tones  and  unusual 
appearance,  my  kind  Yevseitch  ran  to  meet  me.  I  made 
haste  to  explain  what  I  was  about,  and  implored  him  to 
order  a  cab  at  once.  His  alarm  gave  place  to  surprise  : 
he  shook  his  head  and  smiled,  but  he  went  off  to  do  what 
I  told  him.  I  went  into  the  house,  laid  my  net  on  a 
table,  and  fixed  my  gaze  upon  my  prize  ;  and  now  for  the 
first  time  I  was  convinced  that  there  was  no  dream  or 
vision  about  it — I  had  actually  caught  a  Swallow-tail, 
and  there  it  lay  before  me  !  To  make  assurance  doubly 
sure,  I  squeezed  its  thorax  a  second  time  ;  then  I  lowered 
it  gingerly  into  a  pill-box,  covering  it  with  paper  and 
filling  the  box  up  with  cotton-wool,  that  no  jolting  might 
shift  its  position.  Yevseltch  came  back  and  said  the  cab 
would  be  ready  at  once ;  he  was  still  smiling.  I  had 
time  now  to  embrace  my  kind  Yevseitch  and  impart  to 
him  all  my  happiness.  Though  his  knowledge  of  my 
character  might  be  called  extensive  and  peculiar,  he  was 
taken  aback  by  my  wild  enthusiasm.  In  vain  I  assured 
him  of  the  importance  of  securing  a  Swallow-tail ;  in  vain 
I  pointed  out  how  extraordinary  it  was  that  the  insect 
should  find  its  way  into  the  centre  of  a  large  town  and 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  191 

that  I  should  take  that  hot  walk  in  the  valley  for  no  reason 
— my  attendant  heard  me  to  the  end  with  complete 
indifference.  He  had  ceased  to  smile  but  went  on  shaking 
his  head.  At  last  he  said  :  "  No,  no,  my  little  falcon  ! 
You  are  terribly  young  and  green  still,  and  need  a  lot  of 
schooling  yet,  before  you  are  fit  for  a  man's  work." 
His  lecture  was  cut  short  by  the  sound  of  wheels,  and  a 
moment  later  I  was  galloping  along  the  road  straight  for 
Panayeff's  house.  I  thought  of  his  surprise  and  delight, 
which  would  be  all  the  greater,  because  it  was  barely  half 
an  hour  since  we  had  parted. 

The  twenty  minutes  during  which  that  drive  lasted 
seemed  to  me  like  a  whole  long  day.  But  there  it  was  at 
last — the  familiar  house  with  its  weather-stained  white 
walls.  I  ran  up  the  steps  and  upstairs  to  the  parlour. 
Just  as  I  opened  the  door,  my  friend  rushed  out  of  the 
drawing-room,  with  blood  on  his  face,  and  pressing  a 
hand  to  his  eye.  "  What  is  the  matter  ?  " — I  cried  out. 
"  I  'm  done  for  !  "  he  answered  in  a  voice  of  despair  ; 
"  it  was  an  accident ;  Peter  has  just  hit  me  right  in  the 
pupil  of  my  eye  with  a  splinter  of  glass.  If  I  lose  an 
eye,  I  shall  blow  out  my  brains.  I  am  off  to  the  well,  to 
bathe  it  with  cold  water."  I  ran  beside  him.  He  was 
so  afraid  of  finding  that  his  eye  was  injured  and  his  good 
looks  gone — he  was  really  very  handsome — that  he  could 
not  make  up  his  mind  at  first  to  remove  his  hand  and 
bathe  the  wounded  eye.  When  I  induced  him  to  do  so, 
I  was  much  relieved,  but  less  than  he  was,  when  I  saw 
that  only  the  lower  lid  had  been  cut  and  the  white  of  the 
eye  slightly  scratched.  Just  as  I  was  embracing  my  friend 
and  congratulating  him  on  his  fortunate  escape  from 
such  an  alarming  accident,  his  brothers  came  running  to 
the  spot.  I  was  able  to  reassure  them,  and  they  soon 
convinced  themselves  that  there  was  nothing  serious  the 
matter.  In  our  joy  we  all  embraced  one  another.  All 
the  brothers  were  present  except  Peter  who  had  done  the 
mischief :  in  his  grief  and  fear  he  had  crept  away  to  an 
attic,  but  he  was  now  sent  for  to  join  our  party. 

Suddenly  my  friend  asked  me :  "  How  did  it  happen, 
my  dear  fellow,  that  you  arrived  in  the  very  nick  of  time, 
just  when  this  horrible  thing  was  so  near  happening  to 


192  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

me  ?     I  suppose  some  instinct  told  you  of  my  despair  and 
made  you  forget  all  and  rush  to  help  me."     And  now  I 
remembered  for  the  first  time,  that  I  was  not  on  speaking 
terms  with  his  brothers  and  had  ceased  to  visit  their 
house,  and  also  that  I  had  caught  a  Swallow-tail.     "  You 
are  wrong,"  I  said ;    "  it  was  not  a  case  of  instinct  this 
time.     Something  else  has  happened  to  banish  all  feelings 
of  unpleasantness    from  my  mind.     Half  an  hour  ago, 
in  the  valley  near  my  lodgings,  I  caught  a  most  splendid 
Swallow-tail.     I  will  show  it  you  " — and  off  I  ran  to  the 
drawing-room  where  I  had  left  the  pill-box  lying  on  the 
table.    They  all  followed  me  with  shouts  of  joy ;    and 
when  I  opened  the  box  and  displayed,  lying  just  as  I  had 
placed   him,   a   really   exceptionally  large   and   splendid 
Swallow-tail,  their  shouts  pealed  out  again.     I  need  hardly 
say  that  I  told  over  and  over  again  the  history  of  this 
happy  event.     When  my  friend  had  bathed  his  eye  with 
rose-water  and  bandaged  it  with  a  very  smart  cambric 
handkerchief,  he  sat  down  at  once  to  set  the  butterfly, 
which  turned  out  to  be  quite  perfect  and  not  rubbed  any- 
where.    "  Well,  there  is  no  doubt  now  of  the  superiority 
of  our  collection  over  Timyansky's,"  he  said  with  a  smile 
of  triumph.     He  set  to  work  with  care  and  pains,  while  we 
five  stood  round  and  followed  every  movement  of  his 
skilful  fingers,  never  taking  our  eyes  off  him  and  hardly 
daring  to  breathe  freely.     He  called  out  that  we  were 
hindering  him,  that  he  had  no  room  and  was  being  stifled, 
but  none  of  us  stirred  and  his  protests  were  vain.     At 
last  the  setting  was  successfully  accomplished,  and  then  I 
remembered  that  I  had  had  no  dinner.     The  brothers  had 
dined  already.     Every  trace  of  unfriendliness  had  dis- 
appeared :  they  begged  me  to  stay  and  offered  to  feed  me 
with  what  remained  of  their  dinner.     But  I  could  not 
accept  their  invitation,  because  I  had  not  seen  my  cater- 
pillars and  chrysalises  that  day,  and  some  change  might 
have   taken   place   or   some   butterfly   hatched   out !     I 
remembered  also  that  I  had  to  read  through  a  note-book, 
with  a  view  to  an  examination  the  next  day.     But  I 
felt  unwilling  to  part  so  soon  from  my  friends  and — 
I  must  admit — from  my  Swallow-tail,  the  captive  of  my 
bow  and  spear.     I  thought  of  a  plan  to  meet  all  the 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  198 

difficulties  :  I  said  I  would  examine  my  breeding-cages, 
eat  my  dinner,  and  pick  up  my  notebook,  all  in  half  an 
hour,  and  then  come  back.  My  friends  were  most  cordial 
and  made  me  repeat  more  than  once  my  promise  to  return 
within  the  hour.  How  happy  I  was,  as  I  got  into  the  cab 
and  drove  off  to  my  solitary  lodgings  ! 

The  proverb  which  says  that  misfortunes  never  come 
singly  is  true  enough  alas !  at  times.  But  the  reverse 
also  is  fairly  common,  and  one  piece  of  good  fortune  is 
often  followed  immediately  by  another.  When  I  got 
home,  as  soon  as  I  opened  the  box  containing  my 
chrysalises,  I  saw  before  me  a  very  large  and  beautiful 
moth,  which  must  have  hatched  out  in  the  night,  as  its 
wings  were  fully  expanded.  To  judge  by  Blumenbach, 
it  was  the  Privet  Hawk-moth,  which  he  named  thus  from 
the  plant  it  breeds  on  ;  but  I  do  not  assert  this  positively  ; 
Blumenbach  gives  no  description  at  all  of  the  fore-wings  ! 
I  discovered  later  that  the  very  pretty  caterpillar  of  this 
fine  moth  feeds  chiefly  on  gooseberry  or  barberry  leaves. 
The  fore-wings  are  dark  grey  with  white  spots  or  dull 
white  with  dark  spots ;  I  give  the  alternatives,  because 
both  colours  are  present  in  an  equal  degree  and  it  is  hard 
to  determine  the  prevailing  tint.  The  hind-wings  are 
blood-red  with  three  black  bands ;  the  body  also  is  red 
with  black  rings  covering  the  whole  abdomen — these  parts 
are  fairly  well  described  in  Blumenbach.  We  always 
afterwards  called  this  very  fine  insect  the  Barberry  Moth. 
It  is  common  enough,  but  I  had  never  seen  it  before,  and 
to  me  it  seemed  a  marvel  of  beauty.  And  besides,  it  was 
the  very  first  moth  I  had  bred  myself  from  a  chrysalis 
which  I  had  collected.  The  large  size  and  dark  colour 
of  the  chrysalis  had  made  me  suppose  it  to  be  a  moth  of 
some  kind.  I  sat  down  to  a  late  but  happy  dinner. 
Yevs&tch  waited  on  me,  as  usual ;  and  I  noticed  that  the 
rather  peculiar  smile  which  his  face  had  worn  before  was 
still  playing  about  his  mouth.  From  time  to  time  he  made 
some  disparaging  allusion  to  my  passion  for  catching 
butterflies  and  troubling  myself  about  "  those  stinking 
caterpillars "  ;  and  I  was  heartily  amused  by  these 
sarcastic  comments.  When  I  had  dined,  I  went  back 
to  my  friend's  house  and  carried  my  new-born  beauty  with 

N 


194  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

me,  taking  every  precaution  that  the  virgin  gloss  of  its 
lovely  hues  might  not  be  dimmed.  Panayeff's  delight 
over  the  moth  was  almost  as  keen  as  over  the  great 
Swallow-tail;  and  he  lost  no  time  in  setting  it.  It  was 
destined  to  add  fresh  lustre  to  our  collection. 

Next  morning  all  the  University  had  heard  of  our  new 
and  splendid  acquisitions ;  and,  though  all  the  students 
were  more  or  less  preoccupied  by  the  examinations,  yet 
they  took  a  keen  interest  in  the  new  butterflies.  But 
Timyansky,  especially  when  he  saw  them,  was  a  good  deal 
put  out.  "  Well,  you  are  lucky  people ! "  he  said ; 
"  just  to  please  you,  a  Swallow-tail  flew  into  the  town. 
We  used  to  laugh  at  you,  Aksakoff,  for  messing  about 
with  those  silly  caterpillars  ;  but  a  man  might  go  far 
enough  and  never  catch  such  a  perfect  specimen  of  the 
Privet  Hawk-moth  in  all  his  life." 

When  examinations  were  at  an  end  for  the  students, 
they  were  still  going  on  for  the  schoolboys.  Seven 
students,  of  whom  I  was  one,  still  went  to  the  school  to 
learn  Russian  Literature  from  Ibrahimoff,  and  had  there- 
fore to  present  themselves  for  the  school  examination 
in  that  subject ;  and  this  was  to  be  the  last  of  all  the 
examinations.  My  companions  resented  this  necessity, 
but  I  looked  forward  to  it  with  pleasure.  In  general, 
the  school  examinations  were  more  thorough,  more 
orderly,  and  kept  more  closely  to  the  programme.  The 
examination  in  Russian  conducted  by  Ibrahimoff  was 
a  brilliant  success.  We  read  our  compositions  aloud, 
discussed  ancient  and  modern  literature,  and  reviewed  the 
works  of  our  best  authors.  My  talent  for  declamation  was 
also  called  into  play.  Ibrahimoff  was  hurt  at  not  having 
been  promoted  to  a  professor's  chair,  and  therefore  we  all 
with  one  accord  heaped  praises  upon  him  and  congratulated 
him  on  the  success  of  his  pupils.  Never  shall  I  forget  the 
pleasure  that  shone  in  his  small  Tatar  eyes,  or  the  smile 
that  split  his  large  Tatar  mouth  from  ear  to  ear.  The 
thought  of  this  excellent  teacher  is  always  connected  in 
my  memory  with  my  happiest  recollections  of  youth  and 
youthful  study.  "  Thank  you,  Aksakoff,"  he  said  ;  "  I 
have  always  found  it  a  pleasure  to  teach  you.  You  have 
shown  your  gratitude  to  me  in  the  best  way."  I  embraced 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  195 

him,  and  assured  him  that  I  was  deeply  conscious  of  my 
debt  to  him  and  would  never  forget  it. 

The  last  examination  was  over.  I  was  to  spend  the 
summer  vacation  at  Old  Aksakovo  in  the  Government 
of  Simbirsk,  while  the  Panayeffs  were  to  join  their  mother 
and  sisters  at  their  place  in  the  Government  of  Kazan. 
It  happened  to  me  for  the  first  time  that  the  joy  of  going 
home  for  the  holidays  was  disturbed  by  a  special  anxiety 
that  filled  my  mind.  Our  butterflies  Fuchs  had  advised 
us  to  deposit  in  the  school  library,  to  be  looked  after  by 
the  attendant ;  but  what  was  to  be  done  with  my  cater- 
pillars and  chrysalises  ?  It  was  impossible  to  take  seven 
boxes  and  three  glass  jars  with  me  in  the  travelling  carriage : 
twenty-four  hours  would  be  enough  to  shake  up  all  the 
caterpillars  and  detach  the  chrysalises  and  make  general 
havoc ;  and  besides  there  was  simply  no  room  to  stow 
away  such  bulky  packages.  But  then  it  was  equally 
impossible  to  leave  my  foundlings  with  no  one  to  attend 
to  them.  Who  was  there  on  whom  I  could  rely  ?  I  was 
leaving  no  servants  at  Kazan  except  a  coachman  in  charge 
of  a  horse.  Who  could  take  my  place  ?  I  confess  too 
that  I  was  loath  to  tear  myself  away  from  the  constant 
observation  and  anxious  attention  which  I  was  accus- 
tomed to  bestow  upon  my  nurselings  ;  and  it  made  me  sad 
to  think  that  the  final  transformation  into  some  splendid 
butterfly  new  to  me  might  take  place  without  me  to  see 
it.  But  this  was  inevitable,  and  I  had  already  become 
resigned  to  the  thought.  It  only  remained  to  settle  who 
was  to  have  the  charge  of  them.  I  was  inclined  to  give 
them  over  to  Alexander  Hermann  :  he  was  to  stay  behind 
and  occupy  my  rooms  ;  I  had  pressed  him  into  my  service 
in  this  way  already  ;  and  he  was  not  likely  to  refuse.  But 
he  was  exceedingly  careless,  and  I  was  afraid  to  trust 
him. 

Suddenly  I  thought  of  Timyansky.  He  had  no  relations 
or  home  to  go  to,  and  was  to  spend  the  vacation  at  college, 
as  many  other  students  did.  Why  not  ask  him  ?  Accord- 
ing to  my  view,  our  rivalry  need  not  prevent  him  from 
minding  my  caterpillars  and  chrysalises,  in  which  he  as  a 
naturalist  could  not  fail  to  take  some  interest. 

I  was  not  mistaken.     The  moment  I  spoke  to  him  of 


196  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOV 

my  difficulty,  Timyansky  frankly  and  goodnaturedly 
volunteered  to  look  after  my  charges.  I  told  him  that 
I  had  intended  to  ask  this  favour  of  him,  feeling  sure  that 
he  would  not  refuse  to  oblige  a  fellow-student  and  relieve 
his  anxiety  ;  and  I  thanked  him  heartily.  I  felt  as  if  a 
mountain  had  rolled  off  my  shoulders  !  I  knew  that  a 
whole  room  near  the  physical  laboratory  was  at  his  dis- 
posal for  drying  his  butterflies  and  insects,  as  well  as 
Fuchs'  lecture-room,  of  which  he  had  a  key.  Thus  he 
had  abundance  of  room.  Then  the  house  next  to  the 
college,  which  had  been  bought  for  University  purposes, 
possessed  a  garden  where  he  could  gather  a  daily  supply 
of  fresh  leaves  and  plants  for  the  caterpillars.  So  I 
thanked  him  once  again  for  his  friendliness  and  willingness 
to  take  my  troubles  and  anxieties  upon  his  shoulders,  and 
then  set  off  to  tell  Panayeff  this  good  news.  But  my 
friend  did  not  take  it  quite  as  I  expected.  He  was  rather 
distrustful  and  even  suspicious  ;  and,  though  he  did  not 
attribute  any  evil  design  to  Timyansky,  he  hardly  expected 
him  to  put  his  heart  into  the  task  of  increasing  and 
adorning  our  collection.  He  agreed,  however,  that  the 
plan  was  the  best  we  could  hope  for  in  our  present  situa- 
tion. That  same  day  we  carefully  conveyed  the  butter- 
flies to  the  library  and  my  chrysalises  and  caterpillars  to 
the  room  near  the  physical  laboratory,  where  we  person- 
ally delivered  the  latter  to  the  rival  collectors.  When  I 
begged  Kaisaroff  also  to  keep  an  eye  on  my  breeding-cages, 
he  promised  to  do  so ;  but,  true  to  his  custom  and  his 
temper,  he  gave  the  promise  very  stiffly ;  I  felt  no  con- 
fidence in  him,  but  there,  to  my  great  satisfaction,  I  was 
entirely  mistaken.  Kaisaroff  was  always  dry  and  un- 
sociable ;  I  doubt  if  he  had  an  intimate  acquaintance,  let 
alone  a  friend,  among  the  students ;  there  was  no  real 
intimacy  between  him  and  Timyansky,  and  it  was  a 
surprise  to  me  when  they  became  partners  in  collecting 
insects.  Timyansky  said  at  parting  :  "  Now,  look  here. 
I  will  look  after  your  things  carefully,  but  of  course  I 
don't  guarantee  success.  It  is  quite  possible  that  the 
grubs  and  chrysalises  will  die  before  their  change ;  in  that 
case,  don't  blame  me.  Any  butterflies  that  hatch  out  I 
shall  set  as  well  as  I  can  and  preserve.  And,  by  the  way, 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  197 

butterflies  in  cases  are  often  injured  by  moth — Fuchs  told 
me  this  and  advised  to  drop  a  little  spirit  of  camphor  on 
the  abdomen  with  a  camel-hair  pencil.  You  might  as  well 
do  this  at  once  to  the  butterflies  you  are  leaving  in  the 
library.  I  have  the  materials  here  at  your  service."  The 
suggestion  of  this  precaution  convinced  even  my  partner 
that  Timyansky  was  to  be  trusted.  We  availed  ourselves 
of  his  offer  with  gratitude  and  went  at  once  to  the  library, 
where  we  took  a  last  look  at  our  splendid  butterflies, 
applied  the  camphor,  locked  the  cabinets,  and  gave  the 
keys,  in  case  of  emergency,  to  Timyansky.  We  said  a 
cordial  goodbye  to  him,  assuring  him  that  we  relied  upon 
him  entirely,  and  should  be  grateful  to  him,  whatever 
happened.  We  also  said  goodbye  to  the  other  students 
who  were  not  leaving  the  college,  and  set  off  accompanied 
by  their  good  wishes. 

We  went  first  to  the  Panayeffs'  house,  where  I  said 
goodbye   to   rny   friend   and   his   four   brothers.     Their 
horses  had  long  been  put  in,  and  they  were  only  waiting 
for  their  brother  to  return ;   indeed  they  scolded  us,  and 
me  especially  for  my  fussing  over  grubs  and  chrysalises, 
in  their  impatience  to  start  for  home  and  the  country. 
And  it  was  natural  that  they  were  panting  to  be  off,  when, 
after  ten  months   of  study   and   discipline,   they   were 
exchanging  the   dust  and   summer  heat  and  perpetual 
smells  of  a  town  for  clean  fragrant  fields  and  cool  shady 
woods,  for  family  life  and  the  place  where  they  were  born, 
or,  at  least,  had  spent  the  unforgettable  years  of  childhood. 
I  watched  them  start.     All  the  five  of  them  took  their 
seats  on  an  old  lineika  l  drawn  by  horses  sent  from  home. 
My  friend  held  a  fair-sized  box  on  his  knees,  containing 
a  score  of  butterflies  which  he  had  chosen  out  of  our 
duplicates  as  a  present  for  his  sisters.    The  two  youngest 
brothers,  who  sat  on  each  side  of  him,  complained  loudly 
that  they  would  be  squashed  by  the  box  ;  but  their  youth- 
ful voices  were  drowned  by  the  loud  rattling  made  by  the 
old  lineika  as  it  started.    They  intended  to  camp  out 
that  night,   and  had  fishing-rods   and  even  guns  with 
them.     I  felt  sad  and  envious.     I  had  been  told  to  travel 
home  this  time  on  a  courier's  cart  with  hired  horses ; 

1  A  long  four-wheeled  cart  with  a  single  seat  running  lengthwise. 


198  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

and,  worst  of  all,  my  destination  was  not  my  dearly  loved 
New  Aksakovo,  with  its  waters  and  meadows,  marshes  and 
coppices  :  the  family  was  at  Old  Aksakovo  in  Simbirsk, 
a  tiresome  place,  without  water  and  surrounded  by  forest, 
where  we  had  not  even  a  decent  house  to  live  in. 

I  went  back  to  my  lodgings  and  found  all  preparations 
made  for  departure.  The  hired  horses  were  harnessed 
already ;  the  bells,  loosely  tied  to  the  wheeler's  yoke, 
jingled  at  his  least  movement ;  the  servants,  dressed  for 
the  journey  and  holding  their  caps  in  their  hands,  were 
waiting  for  me  by  the  steps.  While  I  was  changing  into 
light  clothes  for  travelling,  the  thought,  that  I  should  soon 
see  my  family  and  especially  the  darling  sister  who  was 
looking  forward  with  intense  eagerness  to  my  arrival, 
flashed  through  my  mind,  and  filled  me  with  pleasant 
excitement.  Then  the  smell  of  tar  and  matting,  which 
came  from  the  cart,  transported  me  in  one  moment  to  the 
country,  and  my  heart  grew  light  and  happy.  Yevseitch 
took  his  seat  beside  me  in  the  cart,  Little  Ivan  jumped  up 
on  the  box,  the  driver  shook  his  reins  and  whistled,  and  off 
flew  the  horses. 

When  we  had  climbed  up  the  long  suburb  that  leads 
out  of  Kazan,  the  heat  of  the  day  was  over,  and  a  splendid 
summer  evening  breathed  coolness  over  the  parched  earth. 
There  had  been  no  rain  for  a  long  time,  and  everything 
was  very  dry.  I  had  never  before  properly  experienced 
the  pleasure  of  fast  driving ;  and,  when  the  coachman, 
wishing  to  please  the  young  gentleman  and  earn  his  tip, 
urged  his  three  horses  to  their  utmost  speed,  I  felt  for  the 
first  time  an  inexpressible  delight  and  a  kind  of  nervous 
excitement.  Yevseitch  was  much  pleased  too  :  "  Well,  this 
really  is  something  like  !  " — he  said  with  a  smile  ;  "and 
yet  the  horses  are  nothing  to  look  at.  But  you  're  not 
afraid,  are  you  ?  "  he  went  on,  when  I  said  nothing  and 
he  saw  that  I  was  breathing  hard.  I  was  horribly  vexed, 
but  I  controlled  myself  and  tried  to  assure  him  that,  on 
the  contrary,  I  was  in  excellent  spirits — my  heart  was 
beating  hard  for  joy,  and  I  found  my  breath  come  short. 
This  was  the  exact  truth ;  the  voice  with  which  I  spoke 
was  trembling  with  excitement.  I  should  have  liked  to 
fly  like  a  bird — I  felt  such  an  eager  desire  to  move  forward, 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  199 

such  a  delightful  but  indescribable  nervous  tension. 
Meantime  evening  came  down  over  us.  Longer  and 
longer  grew  the  shadows  of  the  flying  carriage  and  horses, 
of  the  coachman  and  Ivan  who  had  by  this  time  struck 
up  a  song.  The  shadows  grew  fainter  by  degrees  and 
were  lost  at  last  in  the  darkness  of  the  ground.  All  the 
surroundings  combined  to  affect  me  strongly,  and  I  felt  a 
kind  of  agitation  which  I  could  not  explain  to  myself. 

At  the  post-house  I  refused  to  drink  tea,  although 
Yevseitch  quickly  opened  the  canteen  and  Ivan  placed 
our  travelling  samovar  on  the  table.  My  refusal  caused 
great  uneasiness  to  my  kind  attendant.  He  had  never 
known  me  refuse  tea  before  ;  and  here  there  was  a  special 
inducement ;  for  I  was  very  fond  of  cream,  and  a  pot  of 
cream,  thick  and  wrinkled  and  cold,  stood  on  the  table 
before  me.  Thinking  I  was  unwell,  he  began  to  worry 
me  with  questions,  till  I  contented  him  by  eating  a  whole 
plateful  of  cream  with  Kazan  biscuits.  The  fresh  horses 
were  soon  ready,  and  we  started  again.  Yevseitch  was 
haunted  by  the  idea,  so  mortifying  to  me,  that  I  was 
frightened  by  the  pace.  He  told  the  driver  to  go  slow, 
that  we  might  not  upset  in  the  dark,  and  bored  me 
exceedingly  by  his  tiresome  questions  and  comments. 
I  shut  my  eyes — a  rather  unnecessary  precaution  in  the 
dark — and  pretended  to  be  asleep  ;  I  even  snored,  until 
my  anxious  guardian  fell  asleep  himself  in  the  process  of 
observing  me.  I  remained  awake  till  long  after  sunrise, 
and  this  sleepless  night,  with  the  glow  of  evening  followed 
by  the  glow  of  dawn,  brought  me  many  new  and  delightful 
feelings.  Sleep  at  last  mastered  me,  slowly  and  imper- 
ceptibly ;  but  I  slept  so  soundly  that  I  was  unconscious 
of  our  changing  horses  and  was  only  roused  at  nine  in  the 
evening  by  a  peal  of  thunder. 

When  I  became  conscious,  I  saw  a  large  thunder-cloud 
drifting  rapidly  overhead  towards  a  bank  of  cloud,  dark- 
blue  and  black,  which  had  covered  half  the  sky  already 
and  was  growing  larger  every  moment.  One  edge  of  the 
large  cloud  was  whitish,  and  there  the  rain  was  already 
falling  in  torrents  ;  a  dull  menacing  sound  and  a  feeling 
of  fresh  moisture  came  from  that  quarter.  "  Can  that  be 
hail  ?  "  cried  Yevseitch  ;  "  the  Lord  have  mercy  upon 


200  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

us  !     The  people  will  lose  their  last  grain  of  corn  !  "     The 
large  cloud,  which  appeared  to  be  moving  sideways,  now 
suddenly  wheeled  straight  towards  us,  and  big  drops  began 
to  patter  on  the  dusty  road  and  the  dusty  matting  of  the 
carriage.     The  servants  made  haste  to  protect  me  and 
themselves  too.     Yevseitch  told  the  driver  to  go  at  a 
foot-pace ;    he  said  it  was  dangerous  to  drive  fast  in  a 
thunderstorm.     The  cloud  soon  came  over  us.     Blinding 
flashes  of  lightning  played  like  serpents  over  the  sky, 
followed   immediately   by    deafening    peals    of  thunder. 
Each  crash  sounded  close  to  the  carriage.     At  first  the 
three  men  bared  their  heads  and  crossed  themselves  at 
each  flash ;   but,  when  the  lightning  became  almost  con- 
tinuous, they  gave  it  up.     Suddenly  a  storm  of  thick  large 
hailstones  and  heavy  rain  came  up,  and  all  the  atmosphere 
was  turned  into  a  white  watery  powder.     I  could  not 
look  without  fear   on  this   majestic  but  terrible   sight. 
There  is  something  awful  in  the  rage  of  the  elements. 
At  that  moment  they  displayed  all  their  mighty  power  of 
destruction,   and   the   feebleness   and   defencelessness   of 
man  was  so  clearly  revealed  and  forced  upon  me,  that  I 
could  not  keep  my  composure.     In  my  childhood  I  had 
once  been  frightened  by  thunder,  and  the  terrible  impres- 
sion of  that  time  had  not  yet  disappeared.     A  feeling  of 
inexpressible  relief  and  joy  went  through  me,  when  the 
thunder  began  to  come  at  longer  intervals  and  farther 
away.     The  black  cloud  shifted  from  south  to  west,  and 
one  side  of  the  sky  became  blue  and  bright.     Yevs&tch 
and  I  were  all  right,  but  the  other  two  men  were  soaked 
to  the  bones.     The  clouds  cleared  away   and  the   hot 
summer  sun  soon  began  to  dry  their  wet  clothes,  while 
each  laughed  at  the  other's  plight.     To  us  it  seemed  that 
the  very  centre  of  the  storm  had  passed  over  our  heads ; 
but,  as  we  trotted  on  ahead,  we  saw  that  the  rain  and  hail 
had  been  much  heavier  here  than  with  us  :    there  were 
pools  on  the  road,  and  the  mown  hay-fields  were  flooded  ; 
the  big  hailstones  had  not  melted  yet  and  were  lying  in 
many  places,  especially  in  hollows,  like  white  patches. 
We  drove  past  crops  which  were  all,  more  or  less,  ruined 
by  the  hail ;   and  some  fields  were  as  much  beaten  down 
as  if  a  flock  of  sheep  had  grazed  there  for  weeks — not  only 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  201 

the  ears  but  the  straw  also  appeared  to  be  trodden  into 
the  mire.  Nor  was  this  all.  Two  columns  of  smoke  were 
rising  from  a  village  near  the  road — a  certain  sign  that 
houses  had  been  struck  by  lightning — and  some  stricken 
trees  were  smoking  in  a  wood  hard  by.  These  awful 
traces  of  the  storm's  swift  passage  were  peculiarly  impres- 
sive, now  that  the  air  was  still  and  fresh  and  the  sun  shone 
bright  in  a  clear  sky.  "  This  is  where  the  real  storm  was," 
said  Yevseitch ;  "it  only  touched  us  with  the  tip  of  its 
wing."  My  companions  were  distressed  chiefly  by  the 
injured  crops ;  the  driver  belonged  to  the  village  ahead 
of  us,  and  even  knew  who  were  the  owners  of  the  fields  ; 
as  fortune  would  have  it,  they  were  very  poor,  and  to 
them  this  loss  meant  utter  ruin.  The  three  men  dis- 
cussed the  disaster  for  some  time,  and  Yevseitch' s  words 
showed  the  unfeigned  kindness  of  his  heart.  "  Dear, 
dear ! "  he  said,  "  if  I  were  rich,  I  would  help  them. 
But  the  loss  there  runs  to  hundreds  and  thousands  of 
roubles,1  and  what  will  kopecks  do  in  such  a  case?" 
We  soon  reached  the  post-house  and  brought  the  bad 
news  with  us.  No  hail  at  all  had  fallen  in  the  village, 
though  they  had  heard  the  noise ;  and  their  terrible 
calamity  was  a  complete  surprise.  The  women  began  at 
once  to  weep  and  wail,  and  some  of  them  set  off  for  the 
fields  to  see  their  misfortune  themselves  before  they 
could  believe  it.  Yevseitch  admitted  to  me  afterwards 
that  he  had  given  his  kopecks  to  one  of  the  most  destitute 
families. 

Our  next  change  of  horses  was  at  a  settlement  whose 
inhabitants  made  a  strong  impression  on  my  mind.  They 
were  Tatars,  who  had  been  converted  to  Christianity,  as 
far  back,  I  was  told,  as  the  reign  of  Ivan  Vassilyevitch.2 
Both  sexes  wore  Russian  dress  and  spoke  Russian ;  but 
their  whole  appearance  had  something  forbidding  and 
depressing  about  it,  as  if  they  were  lost  creatures,  a  sort 
of  homeless  and  helpless  air.  Even  their  clothes  seemed 
not  to  fit  them,  and  a  sort  of  timidity  was  visible  in  all 
their  movements.  They  were  very  poor,  though  the 
surrounding  villages — Russian  and  Tatar,  Mordvinian  and 

1  A  rouble  is  worth  two  shillings  :  100  kopecks  =  1  rouble. 

2  I.e.  Ivan  the  Terrible,  who  reigned  1533-1584. 


202  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

Choovash — were  prosperous  enough.  Yevseitch  had  been 
in  the  village  before,  and  had  come  across  similar  converts 
in  other  places.  "  They  're  all  alike,"  he  said,  "  and  all 
poor ;  they  Ve  given  up  their  own  ways  and  not  caught 
on  to  ours  ;  like  Cain,  they  are  fugitives  and  wanderers  in 
the  earth."  His  words  gave  me  much  food  for  thought, 
and  I  lingered  on  after  the  horses  were  ready,  trying  to 
study  the  people  of  the  house  and  enter  into  conversation 
with  them.  I  talked  also  to  their  neighbours — the  old 
people  and  even  the  children.  These  last  were  livelier 
and  more  cheerful :  the  sadness  and  moroseness  which 
marked  all  the  grown-up  people  was  less  noticeable  in 
them.  The  Tatar  type  of  face,  though  still  traceable,  had 
become  less  pronounced ;  there  were  no  shaved  heads 
among  them,  but  also  no  long  hair ;  they  all  looked  like 
peasants  whose  hair  has  just  been  cut  before  they  enlist 
in  the  Army  or  enter  on  the  personal  service  of  their 
masters.  They  understood  their  own  condition  to  some 
extent  but  considered  their  case  hopeless.  There  was  a 
tradition  among  them,  that  their  ancestors,  when  sen- 
tenced for  some  crime  to  flogging  and  penal  servitude  in 
Siberia,  obtained  pardon  by  changing  their  religion,  and 
were  then  transferred  to  a  new  settlement ;  but  they 
could  never  prosper,  because  the  curse  of  Mahomet  clung 
to  them.  These  people  and  their  story  made  a  strong 
impression  upon  me  at  the  time ;  but,  as  I  never  again 
happened  to  visit  a  settlement  of  converts,  by  degrees 
these  sufferers  vanished  entirely  from  my  mind.  But  it 
would  be  interesting  to  know,  whether  later  generations 
still  suffer  this  terrible  punishment  for  the  sin  of  their 
ancestors,  who  changed  their  faith  without  conviction 
and  merely  to  save  their  skins  ;  or  whether  these  innocent 
victims  have  at  last  become  assimilated  to  the  Russian 
settlers  with  whom  they  live,  and  have  appeased  by  their 
patient  endurance  the  stern  sentence  of  moral  justice. 

Of  rain  or  hail  there  was  not  a  trace  on  the  rest  of  our 
journey.  We  travelled  very  fast,  and,  when  night  came 
on,  we  were  within  thirty-five  versts  of  home.  I  went 
sound  asleep  and  slept  on  through  our  arrival,  and  might 
have  slept  much  longer,  if  I  had  not  been  awakened  by 
the  kisses  and  caresses  of  my  sister.  Waking  at  six 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  203 

o'clock  and  hearing  that  I  had  arrived  at  dawn  and  was 
asleep  in  the  carriage,  she  ran  down  and  waked  me. 
Most  of  the  household  were  still  in  bed.  I  went  to  her 
room ;  and  she  told  me  at  once  that  she  had  collected  a 
number  of  butterflies  and  caterpillars  for  me.  She  knew 
by  my  letters  all  the  details  of  my  new  hobby.  She  kept 
the  caterpillars — but  many  of  them  were  grubs  of  other 
insects — in  her  own  room,  in  little  boxes  and  glass  jars 
and  tumblers  turned  upside  down.  The  butterflies 
inhabited  a  window  which  was  kept  shut  and  fenced  on 
the  inside  by  a  muslin  curtain.  This  was  not  a  bad 
idea,  but  it  had  one  disadvantage,  that  the  butterflies 
beat  against  the  panes  and  spoilt  their  wings.  Another 
idea  of  my  sister's  was  less  successful.  She  raised  the  lid 
of  the  piano  and  showed  me  a  number  of  butterflies  which 
she  had  placed  there  :  most  of  them  had  died  for  want  of 
air.  Piles  of  fresh  leaves  and  plants  were  a  proof  of  the 
care  with  which  my  kind  sister  attended  to  the  cater- 
pillars, though  she  disliked  them  herself  and  would  never 
touch  them.  I  examined  carefully  these  unexpected 
acquisitions,  and  found  several  species  unknown  to  me  ; 
many  were  dead  and  even  dried  up,  and  many  were 
spoiled ;  but  there  were  a  fair  number  which  I  began  at 
once  to  set,  having  brought  setting-boards,  pins,  and 
paper  with  me.  Though  I  advised  my  sister  not  to  watch, 
and  told  her  she  would  not  like  it,  she  was  unwilling  to 
leave  me  and  curious  to  see  how  it  was  done ;  but,  when 
I  held  the  insects  over  the  candle,  she  fled  and  for  long 
after  was  unwilling  to  look  at  butterflies  even  in  cabinets. 
By  this  time  all  the  household  was  awake.  I  shall  not 
speak  of  the  general  rejoicing  or  the  especial  joy  of  my 
mother,  when  she  saw  me  for  the  first  time  as  a  University 
student,  no  longer  a  boy  but  a  young  man  leading  an 
independent  life  of  his  own.  She  saw  too  that  I  was 
perfectly  frank  with  her  and  quite  unspoiled.  My  kind 
father  too  was  rejoiced  to  see  me  again,  and  I  noticed, 
though  he  said  nothing  about  it,  the  satisfaction  with 
which  his  eyes  rested  on  me  while  I  eagerly  described 
my  life  at  college.  The  first  days  were  given  up  to  con- 
versation, and  we  told  each  other  all  our  news.  I  heard 
much  that  was  new  and,  from  the  worldly  point  of  view, 


204  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

very  important  and  agreeable.  When  it  came  to  my 
turn,  I  told  of  the  new  and  old  professors,  the  new  subjects 
of  study,  our  theatrical  and  literary  occupations  and 
plans  for  the  future,  and  finally  I  spoke  of  my  passion  for 
collecting  butterflies  and  of  the  advantage  that  might 
accrue  to  science  by  means  of  such  collections.  Later  we 
paid  visits  to  some  friends  and  neighbours,  including  the 
Minitskys  and  my  cousin  Alexandra  Kovrigin,  who  had 
been  brought  up  by  my  great-aunt  Praskovya  Ivanovna, 
and  now  had  a  house  and  a  small  estate  of  her  own. 

When  these  visits  were  over,  country  life  went  on  in 
its  usual  course,  with  such  amusements  as  the  district 
offered.     But  it  could  not  be  denied  that  there  was  no 
comparison  between  Old  and  New  Aksakovo.     At  the 
latter  there  were  bathing  and  fishing  in  the  river  and  large 
pond,   and  very  varied  shooting.     But  here  there  was 
hardly  any  water — even  the  drinking-water  had  to  be 
fetched  from  springs  two  versts  away — and,  though  the 
shooting  was  very  good,  it  was  all  in  woods,  and  I  was 
too  young  for  that,  and  besides  I  had  no  dog.     My  father 
took  me  out  once  or  twice  in  pursuit  of  capercailzies  ; 
one  of  the  peasants,  Yegor  Filatoff,  knew  how  to  find  their 
coveys  and  flush  them  without  a  dog.     But  we  were 
among  trees  all  the  time,  and,  before  I  could  raise  my  gun 
to  the  shoulder,  the  young  birds  had  scattered  in  every 
direction,  though  Yegor  and  my  father  always  contrived 
to  knock  over  some  of  them.     I  only  once  succeeded  in 
shooting  a  young  capercailzie  which  was  stupid  enough 
to  perch  on  a  tree  within  range.     There  were  a  great 
number  of  woodcock  also,  but  the  season  for  them  had 
not  yet  come.     Still,  Yegor  used  sometimes  to  bring  in 
both   old   and   young   woodcocks :     the   young   ones   he 
caught  in  his  hands,  aided  by  a  fierce  dog  which  he  owned  ; 
but,  how  he  managed  to  slay  the  old  birds,  I  don't  know 
to  this  day ;    for  he  could  not  shoot  flying.     Snipe  also 
bred  in  numbers  round  the  Mossy  Lakes  in  the  woods ; 
but  I  was  absolutely  unable  to  hit  them,  and  also  the 
soil  round  these  lakes  was  treacherous  and  sank  so  much 
when  trodden  on,  that  I  was  afraid  to  go  there.     We  some- 
times drove  in  a  body  to  the  woods,  to  pick  berries  or 
mushrooms   or   nuts ;     but   such   expeditions   had   little 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  205 

attraction  for  me.  Thus  I  was  forced  back  upon  a  single 
occupation — collecting  butterflies  ;  and  to  this  I  directed 
all  my  attention  and  activity. 

It  turned  out,  to  my  joy,  that  the  district  contained  a 
great  abundance  and  variety  of  butterflies,  and,  still  more, 
of  moths.  Caterpillars  were  becoming  rare,  and  I  did  not 
trouble  about  them,  because  it  was  now  too  late  in  the 
season  for  them  to  hatch  out,  August  having  begun.  I 
began  by  searching  in  the  old  orchard,  along  the  shrunken 
stream  of  the  Maina,  in  the  clearings  of  the  forest,  and 
round  the  little  springs  which  bubbled  up  here  and  there 
in  the  old  channel  of  the  river ;  and  I  found  not  only 
the  butterflies  which  bred  near  Kazan  but  many  others 
which  were  quite  new  to  me.  I  lay  in  wait  for  the  twilight 
moths  at  dusk ;  and  even  by  day  I  pursued  them  in  the 
darkness  of  the  forest,  where  they  fluttered  from  tree  to 
tree,  unconscious  of  the  bright  sunlight  outside.  The 
true  moths  I  used  to  search  for  by  day  in  hollows  of  trees 
or  crevices  in  fences  and  buildings  ;  and  I  used  to  decoy 
them  after  dark  by  means  of  a  light.  I  made  a  small 
lantern  and  tied  it  to  the  top  of  a  barberry  or  gooseberry 
bush  or  lilac  or  low  apple-tree.  Then  I  stood  still  with 
my  net  ready  and  swept  it  over  the  moths  when  they  came 
flying  to  the  light  and  circled  round  the  lantern.  Before 
long,  I  had  caught  about  twenty  new  species ;  but,  in 
spite  of  all  our  trouble,  my  sister  and  I  found  it  difficult  to 
identify  them  out  of  Blumenbach.  I  do  not  vouch  for 
the  accuracy  of  the  names  which  I  adopted  from  certain 
indications  and  a  general  resemblance  to  the  descriptions  ; 
I  took  them  from  our  German  authority,  and  they  seemed 
to  me  at  the  time  to  be  right.  I  shall  name  some  of  my 
most  important  captures  in  the  order  in  which  I  got 
them. 

My  first,  which  is  not  described  in  Blumenbach,  was, 
as  I  now  believe,  a  White  Satin  Moth.  It  was  small, 
without  being  one  of  the  smallest ;  its  wings  were  round 
and  white  as  snow,  and  covered  with  a  thick  down,  which 
is  still  thicker  on  the  head,  back,  and  abdomen ;  this 
white  down  shows  off  the  jet-black  eyes  and  long  hairy 
proboscis,  the  thick  antennae  and  the  legs.  When  I  first 
saw  it  slowly  rising  and  falling  near  a  tree  in  the  forest, 


206  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

I  took  it  for  a  particle  of  down  floating  about  in  the  close 
windless  air  ;  but  when  I  saw  it  the  second  time  sticking 
to  a  leaf,  I  went  closer  and,  to  my  great  joy,  discovered 
that  it  was  a  moth.  It  cost  me  a  world  of  pains.  It 
needed  much  dexterity  to  catch  and  set  it,  without 
crushing  it  or  rubbing  the  down  off  the  wings.  My  next 
prize  was  a  butterfly,  according  to  Blumenbach,  a 
Ringlet.  It  was  of  moderate  size  ;  its  purplish  wings  were 
angular  and  much  indented,  and  each  of  the  four  had  white 
spots  ;  on  the  reverse  of  each  hind-wing  were  three  bright 
circles  or  eyes.  It  was  rather  pretty  or,  perhaps  I  should 
say,  uncommon.  Then  I  caught  a  Death's  Head  Hawk- 
moth.  About  this  there  was  no  possibility  of  mistake  : 
its  characteristic  mark  is  so  peculiar :  on  the  back,  close 
to  the  head,  there  is  something  resembling  a  human  skull 
and  cross-bones.  The  fore-wings  are  bright  brown,  the 
hind-wings  yellow  with  two  black  bands  running  along 
them.  These  were  by  no  means  all  my  novelties  ;  but 
my  most  precious  acquisitions,  which  each  in  turn  drove 
me  wild  with  delight,  were  two — the  Scarce  Swallow-tail 
and  the  Great  Peacock  Moth.  I  must  describe  how  I 
obtained  these  two  treasures. 

I  was  walking  one  day  along  the  dried-up  channel  of  the 
Maina,  when  I  saw  in  a  little  hollow,  where  a  spring  had 
been  parched  up  by  the  heat  and  the  bottom  was  still 
wettish,  a  whole  heap  of  common  cabbage-butterflies. 
Many  were  already  dead  or  dying  ;  others  were  sitting  on 
the  heap,  able  to  creep  but  not  to  fly  ;  and  the  rest  were 
fluttering  above  them.  It  was  not  the  first  time  I  had 
seen  a  sight  of  this  kind.  I  had  noticed  that  certain  kinds 
of  butterflies — the  Small  Whites  and  Blues,  for  instance — 
collect  in  heaps  in  order  to  die  together.  Yet  I  went 
close  to  them  from  curiosity  ;  facts  like  that  which  one 
cannot  explain  are  always  interesting.  Suddenly  I  saw 
a  large  yellow  butterfly  resting  on  the  ground,  in  the 
middle  of  the  others  which  were  perched  or  crawling 
about.  I  leaned  over  to  examine  it — and  it  would  be 
difficult  to  convey  to  my  readers  the  excitement  and  joy 
I  then  felt.  It  was  a  Swallow-tail,  and  not  the  common 
Swallow-tail,  because  the  black  tranverse  bands,  broad 
above  and  narrow  below,  were  clearly  shown  on  the  under 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  207 

surface  of  its  fore-wings,  which  is  not  the  case  with  the 
common  Swallow-tail ;  and  also  the  ends  of  the  spurs 
were  quite  different.  It  must  therefore  be  the  Scarce 
Swallow-tail !  Such  an  extraordinary  piece  of  good  fortune 
made  me  dizzy.  Then,  as  if  to  remove  my  last  doubt, 
the  butterfly  opened  its  wings,  crawled  forward  a  few 
inches,  and  then  closed  them  tightly.  From  drawings 
and  from  the  single  specimen  which  Fuchs  possessed,  I 
was  well  acquainted  with  the  distinctive  peculiarities  of 
this  butterfly,  and  felt  quite  convinced  that  I  saw  it  before 
rne.  I  lost  no  time  in  throwing  my  net  over  it ;  then 
I  could  breathe  more  freely  and  find  some  relief  from  my 
agitation.  I  began  to  consider  how  I  could  get  hold  of 
my  precious  prize  without  damaging  it.  First  I  tried  to 
frighten  it,  intending  to  catch  it  in  the  pouch  of  the  net 
when  it  rose  ;  but  it  never  stirred.  Then  I  understood 
that  it  was  in  the  same  condition  as  the  white  butterflies 
— in  the  sort  of  faintness  or  sleep  that  precedes  death ; 
and  I  pushed  my  right  hand  under  the  net,  very  deliber- 
ately caught  the  Swallow-tail  by  the  thorax  with  my 
finger  and  thumb,  and  squeezed  it ;  and  off  I  ran  home, 
keeping  it  in  my  hand  all  the  way.  While  setting  it,  I 
was  vexed  to  find  that  the  upper  side  of  the  left  hind- 
wing  was  rubbed  ;  and,  in  general,  close  examination 
showed  that  the  butterfly  was  old  and  rather  faded,  with 
much  of  the  brightness  and  freshness  of  its  colour  gone. 
But,  for  all  these  defects,  the  Scarce  Swallow-tail  might 
be  called  a  valuable  prize. 

I  think  it  relevant  to  clear  up  at  this  point  a  mistake 
into  which  we  fell  in  those  days,  with  regard  to  the  two 
Swallow-tails,  the  Common  and  the  Scarce,  also  called 
Podalirius  and  Machaon. 

Having  at  hand  Blumenbach,  Ozeretskovsky,  and  Raff 
(all  these  books  were  known  to  me  in  early  days  and  to 
other  students  who  had  a  turn  for  Natural  History),  and 
having  before  me  at  this  moment  preserved  specimens  and 
drawings  of  the  Swallow-tails,  I  perceive  on  a  careful  review 
of  all  the  evidence  that  we  called  the  two  species  by  the 
wrong  names.  At  first  sight  there  is,  certainly,  some 
resemblance ;  but  it  was  not  this  resemblance  that 
misled  us  ;  it  was  Professor  Fuchs.  He  gave  to  Machaon 


208  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

the  name  Podalirius,  and  we,  relying  on  his  opinion, 
read  the  descriptions  in  our  authorities  with  insufficient 
attention.  Accordingly,  the  first  Swallow-tails  caught 
by  Timyansky  and  myself  were  Machaons.  Here  is  a 
description  from  nature,  as  detailed  and  exact  as  I  can 
make  it. 

Machaon  is  one  of  our  largest  butterflies.  Its  wings 
are  not  round ;  they  are  rather  long  and  pointed,  with 
a  yellow  ground  variegated  with  black  spots,  streaks, 
and  squares.  The  fore-wings  are  marked  with  three 
short  black  bands  along  the  upper  edge  ;  and  on  the  side 
edge,  over  a  broad  black  border,  there  are  eight  small 
yellow  semicircles  in  a  row ;  next  to  the  body  and  the 
roots  of  the  wings  there  are  black  triangles,  about  half  a 
finger  in  width  ;  the  yellow  ground  is  seamed  all  over 
with  black  veins,  and  all  the  black  parts  seem  to  be 
lightly  dusted  with  yellow.  The  hind-wings  are  between 
oval  and  round ;  the  rims  are  festoon-shaped  with  a 
black  border,  and  have  six  yellow  semicircles  larger  than 
those  on  the  fore-wings ;  immediately  above  them  are 
broad  black  curved  patches,  with  six  dark-blue  rings 
which  run  into  one  another ;  a  seventh  ring,  the  nearest 
to  the  inner  edge,  is  of  a  red-brown  colour  with  a  tinge  of 
white  at  the  top  ;  from  the  second  yellow  semicircle 
proceed  the  long  black  appendages  called  spurs,  and  very 
like  spurs.  Podalirius  is  also  yellow  but  much  paler, 
variegated  with  black ;  the  upper  wings  have  black 
bands  from  top  to  bottom,  broad  at  the  top  and  tapering 
to  a  thread  below.  The  hind-wings  have  small  red 
circles  with  a  dark-blue  centre,  and  a  pattern  of  blue 
semicircles  on  the  outer  edge.  It  also  has  long  black 
spurs  with  yellow  tips.  Podalirius  is  generally  smaller 
than  Machaon,  but,  in  my  opinion,  even  more  beautiful. 

The  Peacock  Moth,  an  insect  of  rare  size  and  beauty, 
came  to  me  unsought.  A  fortnight  before  I  left  home, 
we  had  visitors  staying  with  us.  At  nine  in  the  evening 
we  were  all  sitting  round  the  samovar  in  the  drawing-room, 
drinking  tea ;  my  mother  was  pouring  it  out  herself. 
Though  the  evenings  were  getting  cool,  the  windows  were 
open,  and  four  candles  were  burning  in  the  room.  I 
happened  to  look  up  and  saw  on  the  ceiling  the  dancing 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  209 

shadow  of  something  flying  about.  I  thought  at  first  it 
was  a  bat :  they  bred  there  in  quantities  and  often  flew 
in  at  the  windows  in  the  evening,  attracted  by  the  light. 
My  mother  had  an  unconquerable  aversion  to  bats,  and 
I  was  on  the  point  of  advising  her  to  leave  the  room  until 
we  turned  out  this  uninvited  guest.  But,  when  I  looked 
again  and  more  attentively,  I  saw  it  was  no  bat  but  a 
very  large  moth.  With  a  wild  cry,  I  rushed  instantly  to 
shut  the  windows  and  doors.  My  mother  was  vexed  and 
began  to  scold  me  for  the  start  1  had  given  to  the  party  ; 
but,  whea  I  began,  choking  with  excitement  and  pointing 
to  the  ceiling,  to  call  out  in  an  agonised  voice — "  A  moth  ! 
an  enormous  magnificent  moth !  Do  allow  me  to  catch 
it !  " — everyone  laughed,  and  my  mother,  who  knew  my 
frantic  excitement,  over  my  hobby,  could  not  help  smiling. 
She  gave  me  leave  to  catch  our  visitor,  my  "  enormous 
magnificent  moth."  But  it  did  not  prove  quite  so  easy 
to  do  this.  The  moth  was  flying  just  under  the  ceiling, 
perching  from  time  to  time  on  a  curtain  to  rest.  I  ran 
for  my  longest  net,  placed  a  chair  on  the  table,  and 
clambered  up  on  it.  In  order  to  leave  room  for  my 
operations,  my  mother  took  our  visitors  to  the  parlour, 
while  my  father  and  sister  stayed  behind  to  help  me. 
He  held  the  chair  on  which  I  was  standing,  and  she 
climbed  on  to  the  table  and  held  a  lighted  candle  in  each 
hand — the  other  two  we  had  blown  out ;  with  her  arms 
raised  above  her  head  and  standing  on  tiptoe,  she  gave 
me  light  and  at  the  same  time  tried  to  attract  the  moth. 
My  arrangements  were  crowned  with  success :  the  moth 
began  to  circle  round  me,  and  I  soon  caught  it.  It  was 
a  Large  Peacock  Moth,  almost  the  size  of  a  bat. 

I  shall  not  attempt  to  describe  the  joy  and  happiness 
I  felt  over  my  prize.  I  had  often  heard  Fuchs  speak  of 
the  Large  Peacock  as  a  great  rarity ;  and  this  was  the 
insect,  beyond  all  doubt.  The  description  in  Blumenbach 
is  very  defective,  and,  with  regard  to  the  shape  of  the 
wings,  quite  wrong.  This  is  what  he  says — "  The  Peacock 
Moth  has  comb-like  antennae  and  no  tongue ;  the  wings 
are  rounded  and  dark-grey  in  colour,  with  some  (?)  stripes 
and  several  transparent  eyes  or  rings."  But  my  moth, 
which  was  afterwards  identified  by  Professor  Fuchs  as 

o 


210  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

well,  was  not  like  that.  Its  wings  were  long  rather  than 
round,  with  small,  hardly  perceptible  indentations  along 
the  edges ;  they  might  perhaps  be  called  dark-grey,  but 
that  gives  no  true  idea  of  the  colour ;  they  were  very 
beautiful,  with  darkish  and  whitish  fringes  along  the  edge, 
and  shades  of  such  a  lovely  pattern  that  one  could  feast 
one's  eyes  upon  it.  The  hind-wings,  of  a  cloudy  ash- 
colour,  were  no  less  beautiful.  On  each  of  the  four  wings 
was  one  brilliant  eye,  like  the  eyes  on  the  long  tail-feathers 
of  the  peacock ;  and  hence  the  moth  has  got  its  name. 
The  under  side  of  the  wings  was  plain  grey,  with  white 
streaks ;  and  the  eyes,  though  not  so  brilliant,  were 
visible  there  too,  with  a  tinge  of  pale  crimson  which  was 
entirely  absent  from  the  upper  side.  Though  it  would 
have  been  more  desirable  to  set  the  moth  by  daylight, 
I  was  afraid  to  postpone  this  operation  for  two  reasons  : 
if  the  insect  died  from  compression  of  the  thorax,  it  might 
shrivel  before  morning ;  and,  if  it  revived,  it  would 
struggle  and  might  rub  the  painted  dust  off  its  wings. 
So  I  determined  to  set  it  on  the  spot.  I  lit  several  candles 
and  set  my  noble  Peacock  Moth  satisfactorily,  while  my 
father  and  all  our  visitors  watched  my  proceedings  with 
interest. 

As  a  matter  of  course,  I  had  already  made  a  fine  cabinet 
with  a  glass  lid,  lined  with  white  paper,  and  with  a  bottom 
of  soft  lime-wood,  for  convenience  in  sticking  in  the  pins 
that  held  the  butterflies.  By  degrees  this  cabinet  became 
filled  with  really  beautiful  and  even  rare  specimens. 
But  now  I  was  faced  by  a  difficulty  :  how  was  it  possible 
to  convey  the  cabinet  safely  to  Kazan  ?  The  jolting  of 
the  carriage  might  loosen  the  pins,  and  then  the  vagaries 
of  a  single  specimen  would  spoil  a  number  of  others.  There 
was  only  one  resource — to  hold  the  cabinet  my  self  through- 
out the  journey ;  it  would  be  over  in  twenty -four  hours, 
and  I  could  keep  awake  all  night  1 

On  the  morning  of  August  13th  I  was  already  speeding 
along  the  road  to  Kazan,  duly  holding  my  cabinet.  At 
each  post-house  I  looked  to  see  whether  the  pins  were 
firm.  I  stuck  to  my  resolve  and  remained  awake  all 
night,  though  in  the  morning  I  yielded  to  the  entreaties 
of  Yevseitch  when  he  offered  to  hold  the  butterflies  himself 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  211 

and  urged  me  **  to  take  forty  winks."  By  dinner-time 
I  reached  my  lodgings  at  Kazan  without  mishaps.  The 
Panayeffs  had  not  yet  arrived.  I  set  off  at  once  for 
college  and  of  course  took  my  butterflies  with  me. 

I  found  Timyansky  recovering  from  an  illness :  he 
had  been  suffering,  poor  fellow,  almost  all  the  summer 
from  fever.  Our  butterflies  in  the  library,  and  also  the 
chrysalises  and  caterpillars,  were  in  perfect  order. 
Kaisaroff  had  looked  after  them  all  the  time,  and  I  did 
not  know  how  to  thank  him  sufficiently  for  his  pains. 
Except  a  few  that  had  died,  the  caterpillars  had  turned 
into  chrysalises,  and  many  of  the  chrysalises  had  hatched 
out ;  of  the  butterflies  none  was  remarkable,  but  they  had 
all  been  set.  The  collection  I  had  brought  from  home 
astonished  and  delighted  Timyansky  and  Kaisaroff,  as 
well  as  the  other  students  who  were  interested,  more  or 
less,  in  our  pursuit.  As  lectures  began  on  the  16th  of 
August,  nearly  all  the  students  who  had  spent  the  vacation 
elsewhere,  returned  to  Kazan  by  the  15th.  During  my 
absence,  not  much  had  been  added  to  Timyansky 's 
entomological  collection,  partly  owing  to  his  illness,  and 
partly  because  the  immediate  neighbourhood  of  Kazan 
did  not  offer  any  special  advantages  for  the  acquisition 
of  new  and  rare  species.  As  far  as  butterflies  were  con- 
cerned, it  was  now  beyond  dispute  that  Panayeff  and  I, 
leaving  out  of  account  what  my  partner  might  bring  with 
him,  had  far  outstripped  our  rivals. 

I  was  exceedingly  impatient  for  the  return  of  my  friend, 
Alexander  Panayeff,  wondering  what  captures  he  had 
made,  and  what  he  would  say  when  he  saw  my  butterflies. 
I  sent  again  and  again  to  inquire  if  the  brothers  had 
arrived,  and  went  myself  several  times  for  information  on 
this  point.  At  last  a  message  came  from  their  house 
late  on  the  15th  of  August,  that  "  the  young  gentlemen 
had  arrived  "  ;  and  I  had  reached  the  Black  Lake  a  few 
minutes  later.  Of  course  I  took  my  cabinet  with  me, 
but  I  covered  it  with  a  handkerchief,  intending  to  display 
it  suddenly  with  better  effect,  at  a  moment  when  the 
undivided  attention  of  the  whole  party  was  fixed  on  my 
precious  acquisitions.  When  the  first  embraces  and 
greetings  were  over,  my  friend^and  I  burst  out  simultane- 


212  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

ously  with  the  same  question — "Well,  what  have  you 
got  ?  "  I  answered  in  a  voice  full  of  meaning  :  "I  have 
got  something  that  you  will  like  very  much  "  ;  and  he 
answered  much  in  the  same  fashion  with  a  complacent 
smile.  But  his  brothers  could  not  control  their  eager- 
ness :  all  four  of  them  began  at  once  to  boast  of  their 
butterflies  and  said  they  were  sure  I  had  nothing  as  good 
to  show.  "  Very  well,  let  me  see,"  said  I.  "  No  !  you 
must  show  yours  first,"  said  my  friend,  and  we  disputed 
in  this  fashion  for  some  minutes.  At  last  I  gave  way 
and  opened  my  cabinet.  The  boasters  were  crushed  and 
confounded  ;  and  Alexander,  in  his  joy,  rushed  into  my 
arms.  The  Swallow-tail  and  the  Peacock  Moth  were  a 
complete  surprise  to  them  all.  "  Well,"  said  Panayeff, 
after  a  more  careful  examination  of  my  butterflies,  "  it 's 
hardly  worth  while  showing  you  ours  after  this.  And  how 
well  you  set  them  too,  as  well  as  I  do  !  "  But  this  was 
undeserved  praise :  though  I  had  certainly  learnt  to  do 
it  better,  I  was  still  far  less  skilful  than  my  friend.  He 
afterwards  noticed,  and  indeed  I  pointed  out  to  him 
myself,  many  mistakes  due  to  impatience  and  awkward 
handling.  At  last  he  showed  me  his  cabinet,  and  the 
perfect  condition  of  the  specimens  was  really  astonishing 
as  well  as  the  excellence  of  the  setting,  but  there  were  no 
butterflies  as  rare  as  my  two.  There  were  about  a  score 
of  new  species  and  several  perfect  duplicates  of  what  we 
had  already.  I  shall  name  some  of  the  best  he  had  got. 

The  first  we  identified  out  of  Blumenbach  as  the  Large 
Tortoiseshell.  It  was  a  large  butterfly,  with  pointed 
wings  of  a  red-yellow  colour  with  black  patches,  and  four 
large  black  spots  on  the  fore-wings  between  the  tip  of  the 
wings  and  the  body.  A  second  butterfly  we  identified, 
also  out  of  Blumenbach,  rather  doubtfully  as  a  Silver- 
washed  Fritillary.  It  was  a  fairly  large  insect,  with 
indented  orange-yellow  wings  marked  with  brilliant 
dark-blue  patches.  This  was  a  very  beautiful  butterfly  ; 
but  it  had  none  of  the  "  silvery  streaks  across  the  under 
surface  of  the  hind- wings  "  described  by  Blumenbach, 
though  this  might  be  due  to  mere  accident.  Two  of  the 
moths  also  might  be  called  remarkable.  First,  there 
was  a  Vapourer  Moth,  rather  large,  with  very  flat  wings 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  213 

of  a  fine  dark-red  colour,  and  a  white  crescent  or  spot 
in  the  hind  corner  of  each  fore-wing.  The  other  new  moth 
was  at  once  recognised  as  a  Geometer  Moth  ;  it  had  whitish 
wings  variegated  with  circular  black  patches,  and  a  yellow 
pattern  with  black  specks  on  the  hind-wings.  Panayeff  s 
moths  of  middling  size  were  especially  good.  The  first 
we  identified  out  of  Blumenbach  as  a  Vine  Hawk-moth. 
Its  fore-wings  were  grey  and  smoke-coloured,  with  a  long 
line  or  rather  two  lines  joined  together,  one  white  and  the 
other  black ;  the  hind-wings  were  red  close  to  the  body, 
with  six  spots  on  each.  Blumenbach  says  the  caterpillar 
breeds  on  the  vine ;  but,  where  the  vine  does  not  grow, 
it  probably  breeds  on  other  plants.  Another  insect 
we  could  identify  as  a  Humming-bird  Hawk-moth,  from 
the  tufts  of  hair  on  the  abdomen  and  the  reddish-yellow 
colour  of  the  hind- wings.  The  fore- wings  do  not  bear  out 
Blumenbach's  description  :  they  are  not  white  and  black, 
as  he  asserts,  but  of  a  plain  grey — the  usual  colour  of  the 
common  moths  that  fly  to  a  candle  at  night.  There  were 
other  moths,  very  beautiful  and  not  common,  which 
Panayeff  had  caught ;  but  we  were  unable  to  identify 
and  name  them. 

When  we  had  combined  the  contents  of  our  four  cabinets, 
and  put  them  in  proper  order,  by  arranging  the  insects 
according  to  species,  numbering  them,  and  making  out  a 
list  of  names  and  descriptions,  then  our  collection  might 
really  be  called  in  many  respects  excellent,  though  not, 
of  course,  complete.  All  the  students  were  at  last 
unanimous,  and  there  was  no  kind  of  dispute  as  to 
superiority  between  the  two  collections  :  Panayeff  and  I 
had  already  triumphed  over  Timyansky  and  his  ally. 

Meantime  lectures  began  ;  and  I,  feeling  that  I  had  got 
rather  behindhand  owing  to  the  excessive  attention  I  had 
given  to  butterflies  since  the  spring,  set  myself  eagerly  to 
the  task  of  overhauling  my  companions  ;  and  Panayeff  did 
the  same.  Our  passion,  however,  had  not  yet  cooled  and 
old  habit  was  strong :  a  week  later  we  settled  to  take  a 
trip  into  the  country,  hoping  that  we  might  fall  in  with 
some  prizes  and  specimens  to  us  hitherto  unknown.  But 
we  got  nothing  new,  and  even  the  familiar  butterflies 
were  hard  to  find,  because  August  was  drawing  to  a  close 


214  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

and  the  weather  had  grown  much  colder.  That  day  saw 
the  last  of  our  campaign  against  the  butterflies,  and  we 
never  began  another.  Surly  autumn  soon  came,  and  we 
devoted  all  our  leisure  to  literature,  producing  with  much 
enthusiasm  a  manuscript  magazine  which  we  called 
"  A  Journal  of  our  Occupations."  I  became  deeply 
interested  in  acting  also.  We  got  up  plays  among  our- 
selves in  college,  and  my  reputation  as  an  actor  became 
established.  Butterflies  began  to  take  a  second  place ; 
yet  Panayeff  and  I  still  looked  at  them  and  admired  them 
daily,  and  recalled  with  pleasure  the  capture  of  our  chief 
prizes  and  the  joy  we  had  felt  at  the  time.  But  these 
recollections  became  rarer  and  fainter  daily.  By  degrees 
butterflies  were  forgotten,  and  the  passion  for  catching 
and  collecting  them  began  to  seem  to  us  too  childish  for 
our  years.  And  I  felt  this  more  than  Panayeff,  though 
I  had  been  infinitely  more  excited  and  enthusiastic  over 
the  pastime  than  he  had  ever  been. 

Before  long  my  destiny  was  settled  by  my  parents  :  at 
the  beginning  of  1807,  a  few  months  later,  I  was  to  leave 
college  and  enter  on  the  civil  service  at  Petersburg. 

In  those  days  the  University  of  Kazan  was  filled  with 
a  warlike  spirit.  A  majority  of  the  Government  scholars 
were  eager  to  join  the  Army,  in  order  to  take  a  personal 
and  active  share  in  the  war  against  Napoleon ;  but  they 
despaired  of  getting  permission.  My  chosen  friend  and 
his  brother  Ivan  Panayeff,  our  college  poet,  were  equally 
ardent  in  their  martial  zeal :  they  determined  to  leave 
the  University  at  once  and  seek  commissions  in  the 
cavalry.  They  only  waited  for  their  mother's  consent. 
Apart  from  patriotic  ardour  and  devotion  to  the  glory  of 
the  nation,  there  was  a  special  reason  for  the  state  of 
feeling  among  us.  Peter  Balyasnikoff,  one  of  the  Govern- 
ment scholars,  was  a  remarkable  personality — an  excellent 
mathematician,  with  a  fiery,  undaunted,  and  enterprising 
temperament  and  a  will  of  iron.  His  premature  death  cut 
short  a  glorious  career.  When  Napoleon  crossed  the 
Berezina,  Balyasnikoff  had  risen  to  be  a  colonel  and 
commanded  a  battery  of  horse-artillery ;  he  caught  a 
chill  there  and  died  of  fever.  At  all  times  he  had  a  strong 
influence  over  the  rest  of  us,  and  now  he  breathed  martial 


BUTTERFLY-COLLECTING  215 

ardour  into  all  his  companions,  even  into  those  whose 
weak  health  and  mild  temperament  made  it  seem  unlikely, 
or  even  out  of  the  question,  that  they  should  serve  their 
country  in  arms.  Mihail  Fomin  was  exceptionally  in- 
telligent and  industrious,  devoting  himself  chiefly  to 
literature ;  and  Peter  Zykoff  was  much  valued  by  me  for 
his  remarkable  gifts  as  a  comic  actor.  No  one  supposed 
that  two  men  of  such  poor  bodily  development  and  un- 
warlike  tastes  would  enter  the  Army ;  but  they  did. 
Timyansky  and  Kaisaroff,  however,  remained  faithful 
to  their  intended  career  and  continued  their  studies. 

Before  entering  on  my  profession  at  Petersburg,  I  had 
one  more  opportunity  of  greeting  the  advance  of  spring 
at  my  dear  Aksakovo.  The  mere  recollection  of  the 
spring  I  had  spent  there  as  a  boy  of  eight  years  old  always 
filled  me  with  excitement  when  I  thought  of  the  return  of 
the  birds  of  passage  ;  and  now,  when  I  carried  a  gun,  my 
longing  for  this  season  was  so  intense  that  I  prayed  for 
patience  to  live  till  it  came,  and  for  strength  to  live  through 
it.  There  was  no  longer  room  for  butterflies  among  the 
dreams  and  desires  that  then  filled  my  head  and  heart. 
At  first,  I  gave  my  share  in  the  collection  to  Panayeff, 
and  he  gave  me  beautiful  drawings  of  the  best  specimens, 
which  he  had  made  from  the  originals  with  great  skill 
and  accuracy.  Then,  when  he  fixed  his  thoughts  on  the 
Army,  we  made  over  our  butterflies  to  Timyansky,  to 
have  and  to  hold  in  his  own  possession.  I  do  not  know 
whether  he  kept  them  himself  or  presented  them  to  the 
museum  of  Kazan  University. 

My  passion — there  is  no  other  name  for  it — for  col- 
lecting butterflies  was  violent  while  it  lasted,  though  it 
did  not  last  long.  My  excessive  enthusiasm  went  so  far 
as  to  be  ridiculous  :  I  believe  that  for  several  months  it 
prevented  me  from  attending  to  my  lectures.  But  I 
cannot  say  that  I  regret  it. 

Every  unselfish  ideal  or  exertion  of  a  man's  powers  is 
morally  good  for  him.  The  recollection  of  that  time, 
of  those  many  happy  blissful  hours,  is  a  treasure  that  has 
lasted  all  my  life.  My  pursuit  was  carried  on  under  the 
open  sky  and  amid  natural  scenes  that  were  varied  and 
beautiful  and  wonderful.  The  hills  and  woods  and  fields 


216  A  RUSSIAN  SCHOOLBOY 

where  I  wandered  with  my  net ;  the  evenings  when  I  lay 
in  wait  for  moths,  and  the  nights  when  I  lured  them  to  the 
light  of  my  lantern — these  passed  unnoticed  at  the  time  ; 
but  the  eternal  beauty  of  Nature  was  mirrored  in  my 
heart  without  my  knowing  it ;  and  such  impressions, 
when  they  rise  later  to  the  surface  in  brightness  and 
harmony,  are  full  of  blessing,  and  the  recollection  of  them 
calls  forth  a  consolatory  feeling  from  the  depth  of  a  man's 
heart. 

Moscow,  July  2lst,  1858. 


Printed  by  T.  and  A.  CONSTABLE,  Printers  to  His  Majesty 
at  the  Edinburgh  University  Press 


,.i£5.9.U.THERN  REGIONAL  LIBRARY  F 


